Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. Or Leia's blaster, for that matter. Wish I did...
Leia Organa: The Complete Idiot's Guide for Politicians
Credentials: Diplomat of the Imperial Senate, Princess of Alderaan, Leader of the Rebel Alliance, Commander of the Tantive IV, and all-in-all, a Really Smart Person
-When you feel bored during a political discussion in Coruscant, it's really fun to count the ships going by outside.
-Download games on your Holo-Pad. It helps pass the time when Mr. Uglyface (aka Palpatine) gives one of his speeches in the Senate Chamber.
-If you don't want to become roasted homo sapiens, don't insult Palpatine… excuse me, Emperor Palpatine.
-Don't curse, it's not right becaujdjse- oh Sithspit, I just misspelled something!
-Beware of men in white plastic uniforms, Sith, and black probe droids.
-Don't go out and get your ships bombed, like I did. I can do it because I'm a princess and I can afford it. You probably can't (evil grin).
-Always have a backup plan. When I got caught by Stormtroopers, I had to shove the Death Star plans into a stubborn trashcan-of-a-robot.
-Protocol droids have their uses. They're just so… annoying.
-When in doubt, shoot.
-Use your nose. Evil villains really do stink (like Grand Moff Tarkin).
-Stay in touch with your family- unless you're separated at birth.
-It also helps to know how fix ships.
-Don't talk to nerfherders- especially certain ship captains that antagonize you.
-Keep your blaster ready and primed at all times. It improves the meaning of 'diplomatic persuasion'.
-Jedi are, well, let's just say interesting. I should know- I have one for a brother. He's always pestering me with his Jedi lectures.
-While it's fun to have multiple identities, it gets confusing. Once I was a diplomat, a sister, a Rebel, a princess, a slave, and a bounty hunter, all in one day! Right now I'm a sister, a wife, still a princess, still a diplomat, and a mother.
-Travel to Tatooine only if you prefer gigantic, slobbery monsters and weird aliens.
-Be quiet in the cockpit of the ship. My husband threatened to throw my bro Luke out into space when he started shouting and pointing.
-Go dumpster diving only as a last resort.
-Follow the unexpected. I did, and met my brother and my future husband, in Stormtrooper uniforms. J
-If you're allergic to dust and fur, don't live with or near a Wookiee. They shed twice as much as cats.
-Let the Force flow through you… Ahhh! Oh no! Luke's Jedi wisdom is rubbing off on me!
-Alderaan is probably not the best vacation spot anymore. It's an asteroid field now.
-It is helpful to take notes while the Senate is in session. Unless, of course, you're not paying attention.
-Constantly improvise. If you're in a tough situation, try to diplomatically bluff your way through.
-For those who sue me for this book, let me warn you. I am very handy with a blaster.
-Acquaint yourself with galactic history, family history… wait a minute, disregard that last one.
-Bounty hunters are ok, I guess. Except for Boba Fett, the creeper.