Disclaimer: I do not own 7th Heaven nor do I own any of the characters.
Summary: Ruthie is in love with Robbie, yet she knows it can never happen. Yet she still thinks about him every day. Based on the song "On My Own" from the movie Les Miserables, but not a songfic, they lyrics are not in this fic. I have had a case of writers block so I took a long break, however I am back now. Italics are dreams.
I never felt this way about anyone before ever. Not Martin, not T-bone, not Peter, but Robbie. I'm in love with Robbie. When he was living with us, I had admitted my attraction to my sister, Lucy who told me it could never happen because it would hurt Mary. My oldest sister, Mary had an on again off again relationship with him, but she was always in love with him. Plus, he's like twice my age there is no way it could work out, mom and dad would NEVER approve of our relationship. He does not love me like that, he thinks of me as a little sister NOT a girlfriend.
"Robbie, I'm so happy you came back to Glen Oak." I hug him tightly not wanting to let go.
"I had to come back, there's something I've been meaning to tell you from the time I started living at your house, but I knew that if your parents knew they'd kick me out on the spot, and I did not want that to happen. Now that I'm not living there anymore I can tell you. I love you, not as a sister or a best friend, but I love you as in I want to date you. I can't hide my feelings anymore, and if you don't want to be friends anymore I totally understand."
"I've been waiting for you to tell me from the time I laid eyes on you, and I love you too," I touched his face and I kissed him deeply, the way I wanted to kiss him for a long time. As our lips touched his tongue gently slid into my mouth and I massaged it with mine. We fell over onto the bed then we finally did what we wanted to all along that my parents would never allow.
Of course it was only a dream; I never wanted to wake up from the dream. Everyday I am learning that all my life I've only been pretending. Without me, his world will go on turning, a world full of happiness that I have never known. I love him, but only on my own.