A/N: This is one of my first NCIS-FFs, so please be kind, but do review. I want to know what you think about it!!! Now enjoy!
Realization
The plague had hit Tony hard, despite knowing everyone of the team (including him!) put his or her life on the line every day. But now, having been confronted with his own possible death made him brutally aware of it, made him ponder over his life. Easily he realized how empty it really was: There was no one to come home to, no one to talk to and no one who knew him, who could look through the façade he'd carefully built up. The playboy, the funny, uncaring guy, the sexist, the womanizer…
He himself was to blame for the fact that the one woman he wanted, desperately wanted showed no interest in him. Caitlin Todd would never fall for a guy like him… So he had continued to comfort himself with his flings, but now that he knew she had stayed with him even though he'd been contagious he wasn't so sure about her feelings anymore. His blood went cold alone at the thought of it… She could've died! That was even more terrifying than his own death!
If he had not already known he was in love with her, that would have proven it. But what should he do? What could he do to show her how serious he was? To make her believe he meant it? He knew he had to do something special to convince her she wasn't just another chick for him…
Kate was pacing in her apartment right now, still trying to comprehend why she had stayed with Tony. It had been more than foolish, she had risked her life! She knew she wouldn't have done this for any other person. But why the hell then for him? He was just so damn annoying most of the time… Well, to be honest, their banters were fun, she looked forward to it often. They were one of the few things that made their cruel job bearable. And even she had to admit Tony was quite sexy…
Another thing was that she had caught a few glimpses of the real Tony when they had spent some time apart from work. She'd seen a caring, sensitive person, quite the opposite of what she had expected. It had been fun to spend time with this new DiNozzo, she could not deny it.
But that still didn't answer her question: Why the hell had she stayed? Deep down she knew why: She cared for him more than she should, considering that they were coworkers and that Tony was a womanizer, the one thing she did not want or need. She'd had enough of such guys, she would not do that to her ever again.
Well… She could swear Tony only pretended to be like that, after the time she had spent with him alone. He'd been such a gentleman, had even kept his teasing at an acceptable level.
Like it was proper he had taken her home, but once there he had not made a comment indicating he wanted to sleep with her (which was what she had still expected!), no he had simply given her a kiss on her cheek, looked deeply into her eyes and said: "Good Night, Kate!" After wishing him a good Night too, she closed the door, then she stood still for a few minutes, her hand touching the cheek Tony had kissed. Normally she would never have let this happen, she probably would have slapped him or at least retorted something witty… At this moment though she hadn't been able to bring herself to do any of that, because she had enjoyed it. Of course she had not told him that…
So now, she was able to answer her question truthfully, she really was. But it would be so much easier to just pretend she'd done it out of friendship or loyalty. At least to herself she would not deny she was in love with Anthony DiNozzo… As much as she hated it, she just was. It was bound to go wrong, to hurt her… At that point, something else came to her mind: What if not? What if it would work? Wouldn't she be sorry if she didn't try it?
That lead her to another problem: Tony's feelings for her. Would he even want to try something with her? Did he find her attractive? She knew she did not look too bad, but compared to the women he usually dated… And then there was always Gibb's rule number 12. Would breaking it be worth the punishment? She decided yes. Nearly losing Tony had made her realize life was just too damn short to not act on such feelings. With that her decision was made: She would let him know she was in love with him, no matter what the consequences would be…
A/N: Now, what do you think? Doesn't that little nice purple button calls out to you to push it? Please do! I might add another chapter… hinthint