Bed of Roses

Dedication: This fic is dedicated to my other best mate, who is another Bon Jovi fan, keep smiling, don' drink too much 'Wicked', and keep riding high in life, don't fall off…

I retreated further into my old maroon jumper, and inhaled the familiar scent of home, masked by stale firewhisky. The stars shone above me, twinkling in the inky blackness, I knew many of them, many stars who were once people who died in the second war, they were now winking at me as the clouds passed in front of them. I had been living on the streets for two years, always needing money for firewhisky. It was the only thing that numbs the pain, the pain of losing my best friend, my family, our protector, my only love, everyone was either dead or lost forever, either way they were gone for now. I try to recall memories of the good times, when we were at Hogwarts, the day I worked up the guts to tell you how I felt, when we jumped into the lake after our last NEWT. They seem to be from a different world, not my memories, but someone else's, they don't belong to me.

Sitting here wasted and wounded

at this old piano

Trying hard to capture

the moment this morning I don't know

'Cause a bottle of vodka

is still lodged in my head

And some blond gave me nightmares

I think that she's still in my bed

As I dream about movies

they won't make of me when I'm dead

It was harsh waking up this morning, it was raining, the rain felt like your lips on mine, and for a wonderful moment I thought you were alive. Until a car drove through a puddle in the road and I got drenched, I almost heard your laugh in the water hitting the pavement. I want to talk with you again, see you smile, watch you sleeping. I pray to God, never mind my lack of money, never mind my lack of food, I just want to see you again, I can't go five minutes without thinking about her.

With an ironclad fist I wake up and

French kiss the morning

While some marching band keeps

its own beat in my head

While we're talking

About all of the things that I long to believe

About love and the truth and

what you mean to me

And the truth is baby you're all that I need

I love you 'Mione, you are my love, my life, my stability. Without you I am lost, I don't know where to go, where to stop, where to sleep. I'd give anything to see you again, to know that you are peaceful, to join you, I can't though, its not my time yet, but it will be soon, I can feel it.

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses

For tonite I sleep on a bed of nails

I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down on a bed of roses

I have no home, tonight I sleep in a payphone, I look up at the keypad, I can remember your number as if it was engraved on the inside of my skull. I can't call you where you are, theres no signal. An owl on the telephone wire looks at me, and reminds me of you, maybe it's his feathers, and their chocolatey colour that reminds me of your eyes, or maybe its giving off the aura of unseemly intelligence, either way - it reminds me of you. I see women walk past me on the streets, I see a girl with brown bushy hair walk past and I turn, but she isn't you, you are always more beautiful.

Well I'm so far away

That each step that I take is on my way home

A king's ransom in dimes I'd given each night

Just to see through this payphone

Still I run out of time

Or it's hard to get through

Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you

I'll just close my eyes and whisper,

baby blind love is true

I sit by the bar in the old pub, gulping back firewhisky after firewhisky, trying to make myself feel alive, my life is full of blurry images and fading memories. I feel dead, I wish I was dead.

The hotel bar hangover whiskey's gone dry

The barkeeper's wig's crooked

And she's giving me the eye

I might have said yeah

But I laughed so hard I think I died

You have been long gone, I'm soon to follow, you won't be alone, nor will I, I'm coming to join you. I did nothing to deserve this pain, why do I endure? I wish I'd died and you had lived, you are too intelligent to make the same mistakes I made. I can't have my old life back, I'll have a new one, where I can see you, Harry, and the rest of my family again.

Now as you close your eyes

Know I'll be thinking about you

While my mistress she calls me

To stand in her spotlight again

Tonite I won't be alone

But you know that don't

Mean I'm not lonely I've got nothing to prove

For it's you that I'd die to defend

Hang in there 'Mione, I'm coming, my time has finally come…

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses

For tonite I sleep on a bed of nails

I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down on a bed of roses