A/N: So I read Howl's moving castle. Yes, for the first time. And I really really liked it. I've seen the movie, of course, for several times before I read the book, and I love them both as two different pieces. But when it comes to writing, I have to admit that the characters in the book give a lot more to work with, because lets face it, we all love couples banter. So this is definitely based on the characters in the book.
Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you enjoy reading it! I apologize my grammar, but I hate looking for a Beta and as this is a one-shot, I thought that maybe you can cope with it.
If you like it, or even if you don't, leave me a comment! I love having them, and I just want to be a better writer :)
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Diana Wynne Jones, and I'm just playing with them.
In Which There Is A But
Howl turned to look at Sophie with a very familiar grin on his face. She had been a target of that grin ever so often, especially if Howl wanted something. That grin was to blame for many stupid things Sophie had done. She had also seen it used to others, like to the girl who gave him discount of all the suits he bought, and to the woman behind the desk in the candy shop. He really used that particular grin a lot more than Sophie liked. This time, though, he had crossed the line Sophie didn't want to admit existed. He could probably read that from her face, because the moment he met her eye, the grin faded.
"Sophie..?"
There were times when Sophie let it slide. Like when he spent too much money on beauty products or clothes, or when he caused a mess while making a new spell, or when he got himself into trouble by thinking too much of himself. Those times he would give her that very same grin, and she'd smile back because he was Howl, and she loved him. Still, there were times when he couldn't slither out of the situation with just a grin. This was definitely one of those situations. Even Howl realized that he'd done something really wrong this time, and he seemed to even know what it was. He glimpsed over his shoulder to the way the girl had disappeared and then quickly back at Sophie.
"That?" he asked. "That was nothing. It was just innocent little..."
"What?" Sophie snapped as he didn't seem to find the right word for what it exactly had been. "Innocent little what?"
"Innocent little..." Howl clearly tried to find his way out of it, but for once he was out of words. "Innocent little..."
"Flirting?" Sophie offered sardonically.
"No!" Howl gasped. "How dare you! I would never flirt with anyone else when you are nearby!"
Sophie bit his lips together. Under all that melodramatic act he had as good as admitted that he did flirt with other girls when she wasn't nearby. Oh, sometimes she hated him.
"Is that so?" she crossed her arms.
He changed the tactic mid-flight. "Well, you know I can't stop myself", he said. "I need you to stop me. That's why we are so great together", he flashed her a grin that was meant to be both innocent, charming and a bit guilty. Sophie wasn't buying it.
"Ha!"
She turned in her heels and started to walk towards the castle. She should've known that there was no way to avoid meeting one of those girls at some point. It was tend to happen sooner or later, thinking how many girls Howl had charmed in the old days. Better sooner than later, they said, but Sophie wasn't so sure about that. She would've taken later. She would've taken never.
Howl ran after her. "Come on Sophie", he laughed. He turned in front of her to stop her, but as she didn't do so, he started walking backwards. "You know you can't stay mad at me for long!"
He tried the smile again, but still with no results.
"Do you want to try?"
"Are you going to cut my suits into pieces?" he joked.
She hated how he didn't seem to notice that this wasn't one of those fights they had because it was how it worked between them, because they enjoyed it and because it was fun. Fine, it that's what he wanted!
"I'd rather cut something else of yours into pieces."
He paled slightly. "Stop that. It's not funny."
"I think it's hilarious."
She was unwavering. Knowing something to happen was completely different thing than it actually happening, and right now Sophie was hurting. She started walking faster and Howl, unable to walk so fast backwards, turned around and tried to take her hand, but she didn't let him.
"Sophie", he groaned.
"Leave me alone."
"No. If I leave you alone you'll go and do something stupid. And I don't want to come back to the castle to find out you've blown it up or something."
"I'll blow you up if you're not careful", Sophie said under her breath and hurried her steps even more. It made little difference; Howl clearly wasn't going to let her be. He started a long and dramatic monologue about how he was just misunderstood and that all he wanted was for them to have a nice day and it wasn't his fault they ran into that girl nor was it his fault that she was 'completely fine with all that' when she surely shouldn't be because come on it was him they were talking about and couldn't Sophie just please look at him? Sophie gave up the idea of leaving him behind and concentrated to forget how pretty the raven-haired girl had been and how much Howl had once loved her. Easier said than done, because the moment she thought about forgetting her, she could see not only that girl, but many other girls as well, all equally beautiful, all who had loved Howl, and all whom Howl had once been in love with. She clenched her fists and shot so angry look at Howl that he finally shut his mouth.
When they reached the castle, Howl hurried to open the door and stepped in. Sophie followed him and closed the door behind her, ready to storm into her room without another word. That turned out to be a bad idea, because when she turned around, she found herself trapped between the door and Howl.
"Finally", he said, pushed Sophie against the door and kissed her. It was a long, breathless kind of a kiss. He had done this quite a lot lately, especially when ever they disagreed on something. Usually Sophie didn't mind, but usually they weren't really arguing. She pulled away.
"You're unbelievable."
A cocky smile spread on his lips. "Why, thank you", he said. "Although I have to admit that I can do a lot better."
"I didn't mean that!" she pushed him aside and marched past him into the living room. "I meant you kissing me when I'm angry!"
"And you find a problem in that", Howl sounded amused. "Should've guessed. There's no way making you happy, is there, Sophie?"
There was laughter on his face like there so often was when he said her name. Most of the times she liked that in him. It was one of the little things that reassured her that Howl did love her. But right now, not so much. She couldn't understand why he couldn't take the situation seriously. It was like he didn't even noticed that she actually was hurt. Sophie thought that there was a way to make her happy, a very easy way that is, and it was not to flirt with other girls. She didn't say it, though, because what would that do? He was Howl. He'd do it again, eventually. And even if he didn't… Sophie felt that this time it was her turn to start oozing green slime. Just see how Howl would react to that!
"Is this really just about that one girl?" Howl asked.
"Of course it's not just about that one girl!" Sophie shouted. "It's about all those girls in your past, every single one of them who you were one day completely in love with and the next day forgot they ever existed!"
Now that the words had come out, and Sophie realized how true they were. The knot in stomach had grown the bigger the longer they were together. And now it exploded all over the place, and she found herself crying. She hated that. She hated that she showed all this to Howl. She hated crying. But at least now Howl would leave her alone. He hated nothing more than seeing people crying. She turned her back at him and tried to control her violent sobs, waiting for him to go to his room to sulk.
"But..." Howl's voice said, all confused. "But that's what they are. Girls in my past."
"Exactly", Sophie sighed. Suddenly she felt so weak, so sad, so very tired. "How can I be sure I'm not one of those girls? How can I be sure that you won't wake up tomorrow, or in a week, or in a month, and realize that you just don't love me anymore?"
"Sophie, no. It's not like that."
She said nothing. She was sure that Howl had felt like that every single time before. He stepped closer, reached out his hand and turned her around. His hand moved up her arm to her neck and then to her cheek, wiping the tears away.
"You're different."
She didn't trust her voice to be steady enough to mock him, so she remind silent. Howl, however, read her answer from the silence.
"All those pretty things I've bought you", he tried.
Sophie made a snotty snort. "You can't convince me that you never bought anything for t-those girls."
Almost. She got almost through that sentence without failing.
"I gave you a field full of flowers", he said. The corners of his lips were twitching. "What do you think I gave them?"
"Probably two fields of flowers", Sophie said bitterly.
"SOPHIE!" he shouted so suddenly that Sophie jumped, took a hold of her shoulders and shook her a little. "I LET YOU CLEAN OUR CASTLE!"
More than anything else it was his words 'our castle' rather than 'my castle' that softened Sophie. Her eyes met his and turned quickly away again. Damn him and his smile and his stupid, gorgeous green eyes. Damn her for telling him that she liked the smell of lilies of the valley. He touched lightly her chin. She shook him off and kept her eyes stubbornly on his shiny shoes.
"And still you keep flirting with every other girl that comes to your way", she muttered. She might as well get it all out now that she had already started.
"Sophie", he was smiling again, she could hear it in his voice. It had a different tone when he was smiling. "Look at me."
"No, I'm angry with you."
"Sophie."
"Howl."
He took his hand to her waist and pulled her closer, his face was so close to hers that she could feel his breath on her lips.
"You should know I only have eyes for you, you insufferable girl."
She wriggled out of his grip.
"Liar! You have more eyes for pretty girls than anyone else I know!"
"Fine! I'll admit it! I do have eyes for pretty girls!"
Now that he admitted it, she wasn't so sure if she really wanted to hear it. She wondered how Howl thought this was going to help him out of the situation, and she was just about to point that out, when he continued.
"But can you really blame me? That's who I am. And it's not like you wouldn't look at men you find handsome. I saw how you looked at that paper boy the other day when -"
She couldn't believe he blamed her in any of his actions. She rolled her eyes and turned to walk away, but Howl was too quick and took a firm hold of her wrist.
"But!" he said. "There's a but!"
"Of course there's a but! There's always a but when it comes to you! You're made of buts!"
"But!" Howl shouted to get his voice over Sophie's screaming. He was still holding her hand, which was somewhat admirable considering how hard Sophie tried to get out of his grip. "But! Stop wrenching your hand!"
"Then let go of it!"
"No! It has a crucial role in my but!"
Sophie stopped trying to get her hand free, mostly for curiosity, but kept glaring Howl so murderously that he started to stutter. It was quite an achievement considering what kind of glares Howl had probably got during his wicked life. Sophie felt cruel triumph for that.
"But", he said and tried to pull Sophie closer, but she didn't move an inch. "But..." he tried again.
"Oh, just out with it!" Sophie snapped.
"But I only have heart for one!" he snapped back, much loader and angrier than he probably meant to. He pulled again, and Sophie, surprised that he actually said something so straightforward, let him.
"Feel it?"
He sounded more frustrated than anything else, and pressed her palm tightly against his chest. She did feel it, the steady beating of his heart against her fingers. His heart, the very one she had held in her hands just months ago.
"It's beating because of you", he said. There was warmth in his voice that she rarely heard. She looked up at him, and he looked straight back. He wasn't smiling. Sophie bit her lower lip. This time she didn't push him away.
"You're doing it again", she said after a moment.
"Are you complaining?"
"Yes", she said, even though she wasn't, not really. "I'm angry with you, and you're ruining it."
"I just think there's better ways to spend time than arguing."
She took a hold of his collar and pulled him closer.
"You are the only man in the world who can kiss a girl when she's angry."
"And you are the only girl in the world who can be angry when I'm kissing her."