Just something I wrote when I was really bored.
1. Ask him who did his nose job and have they been fired/killed yet?
2. Whenever he talks about killing Harry Potter, sit straight up in your chair and go "Whoah, just got the weirdest sense of deja vu. Have we done this before?"
3. Buy a pink pygmy puff from Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes and give it to him, saying it makes a much better sidekick than that stupid old snake of his.
4. Call Harry the-boy-who-kicked-Voldemort's-butt-seven-times
5. Ask him, in a very patronizing tone, how his widdle pet snakie is doing
6. Ask him to watch to watch A Very Potter Musical with you. When he asks why, say that the guy who plays Dumbledore is super cool.
7. Bribe Peeves with a case of Dungbombs to follow him around for a day and annoy him.
8. Cast the Imperius curse on him and make him slap himself across the face while saying, "Why're you hitting yourself? Why're you hitting yourself?" over and over.
9. Prank call him and say, "Is Dumbledore there? I hear he's the greatest wizard ever and Harry Potter and me need some help beating some supposedly evil guy named Tom Riddle".
10. Follow him around poking him in the back and when he turns around say "Oh whoops, I'm sorry I thought you the evilest wizard ever, my bad" than walk away whistling innocently.
Hope you liked it!
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