It began like any other day, sitting at Toriel's kitchen table and eating some delicious slices of pie.
"So there we were," Sans said, holding up both hands, "just hanging out on the couch, eatin' chips, watching anime. When all of a sudden, Alphys flails her arm and hits me right in the face."
Putting a paw to her mouth, Toriel laughed. "Oh, dear!"
"But the weird part? It made this hollow donk sound. I was completely confused, she was flailing and making this squeaky sound like she had swallowed a dog toy. But eventually I figured out that she had the chip can stuck on her arm."
"Poor Alphys," Toriel giggled. "And poor you!"
"No kidding. But thanks to all the chip grease, it was easy enough to yank the can off. Y'know, once she calmed down."
Leaning in, eyes alight, Toriel asked, "You were can-fident you could get it off?"
"Sure." He winked at her and said, "I had a can-do attitude."
Toriel laughed, only muffled a little by her paws. She was the best audience ever.
Once she calmed down, she asked, "I have one question, though, Sans. You were watching … anime? That is … cartoons with swords, correct? Or was it guns?"
He boggled a bit — before remembering that Asgore was just learning about the anime craze, too. "Uh, both, I guess. Depends on the anime."
"I have heard that all the young folk are watching anime. Do you think it would be to my liking?"
"…Maybe? I could borrow some discs from Alphys, if you want to check it out."
"Yes, I'd like that. Is there a wide variety of anime?"
Oh, she had no idea.
It wasn't their typical movie night, but did start off with the usual cinnamon-sugar popcorn and blankets and nestling into each other on the couch. The first batch of anime Alphys gave them was mostly old stuff she had dragged up from the Underground, discs with scruffed cases and faded, familiar artwork. Right on top of the pile was one of Sans's favourites, Neo Tokyo Crisis: it had swords, guns and a cool scientist character who built battle robots. As the awesome opening theme began, he shovelled a handful of popcorn into his mouth and low-key watched Toriel: she was watching the screen with her wide-eyed oh my, a new and interesting thing pose.
But by the time they got to Episode 2, Toriel was squinting, sitting up ramrod straight on the couch.
"This is rather violent," she said.
Well, yeah — that was how human anime worked, most of the time. Sans asked, "What did you think the swords and guns were for?"
"I don't know," she said — with that tight, aloof note that meant trouble creeping into her voice. "I was hoping for … ornamental use, I suppose."
"It's okay, babe." Sans heaved himself upright, hit Pause on the remote, and opened up the bag of discs. "So Neo Tokyo Crisis isn't your thing. No sweat. Let's just try a different one."
Toriel relaxed immediately, giving him a grateful smile. "Yes, let's. What is the next anime on the list?"
"Strike Master." Sans stared at the cover art of a hard-eyed human man pointing a katana at the viewer. "Huh. If you don't like violent stuff, I don't think this one'll be up your alley, either …"
"Honestly," Toriel murmured, "I would rather see neither swords nor guns."
She was a gentle soul: it was part of her charm. Sans put Strike Master into the newly established Nope Pile, and added Rage of the Ninja while he was at it because Toriel would hate the heck out of that one: Sans was sceptical that humans even had that much blood to lose. "Huh. Well." Next up: the angular giant robots of Glorious Mecha Revelation. "How about giant robots fighting each other? No, wait, they wreck cities sometimes. Nope to that."
A glance at Toriel's horrified expression confirmed it. The Nope pile got a bit taller.
"Hey," Sans said, coming upon a very familiar cover, "maybe something with magical girls? That's a type of anime where human kids have magic powers and they wear pretty dresses and stuff."
"That sounds much more enjoyable."
"Okay, Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, it is. This one is Alphys's favourite. If you like it, you two will have something to talk about."
"Oh, that would be lovely! I do mean to spend more time with her."
Just as long as the two of them didn't start writing fanfiction together. Sans flopped back down as the familiar theme song started, stretching out and putting his legs across Toriel's lap. Rewatching the cat-eared human bumbling through high school wasn't at the top of his To Do list, but it might just make his lady happy.
No such luck. Toriel was fidgeting by Episode 3.
"Not a fan of this one, either?"
"She is awfully young to be fighting such serious battles," Toriel worried. "Or kissing anyone, for that matter."
Toriel was such a mom. Rolling his eyes only a little bit, Sans flopped over to dig into the bag again. "Okay. Let's see what else we've got." He lifted a disc case into the white light of the TV screen — Dice Catcher Sakiko. That one was about an even younger evil-fighting kid, maybe like Frisk's age. Straight into the Nope Pile it went. Next up was Digibeasts. Also about kids, but this time they had cyberpets to do the fighting. "Hmm. Does it still count as violent if they're only beating up virtual computer characters?"
Toriel sighed. "I would rather not see anyone at all beaten up. Is there an anime about schoolteachers? Or cooking?"
Sans held up Cooking Wars: Battle of the Schools. Its cover art showed a weirdly lanky human kid swinging a cleaver at some very dramatically shaded potatoes, while his big-eyed teacher posed so that her boobs looked as ginormous as possible. Then Sans quickly put it in the Nope Pile before Toriel's stare could set it on fire.
"Huh," he said. "We're running out of options here."
"Is that all?" Despite hating everything she'd seen so far, Toriel sounded disappointed.
"Nah, we've got one more—" Sans froze, staring down into the bag. The last disc had a colourful, smiling snail on the front. No. Not Candy Hearts Squad. Anything but Candy Hearts Squad.
But it was too late to hide the evidence, because Toriel's weight was leaning gently onto him, her ear flopping onto his shoulder as she peeked over. "What is the last anime about? Oh, what an adorable snail! This seems more suited to my tastes!"
With sweat beading on his skull, Sans got the feeling he was about to have a bad time.
"I never could have done it without all of my friends!" chirped Shelly Heartsgood.
"Yaaaaay!" shrieked all the other cutesy snails.
Music rose to a cheerful crescendo. The Candy Hearts Squad of do-gooder pet snails was reunited, all of them smiling and wiggling as the credits started rolling, and there were sparkles and hearts everywhere and if Sans had a stomach he would have thrown up at least eight times. But on the bright side, he had spent the whole movie snuggled against Toriel's side, wrapped in her big warm arm. Nothing to complain about, there.
"My goodness, that anime was so charming," she beamed. Her other arm came around Sans's middle and he got an even more thorough cuddle. "The love Shelly has for her friends is so powerful! Do you think they will be able to keep their friendship alive even if Tomo should move away for school and take Crawlford with her?"
"No idea, babe." Good thing Sans didn't need to breathe, because Toriel was squeezing him pretty tight.
"I am concerned, actually. If they are separated, they cannot just write letters to each other. They are snails." Toriel paused. "Is there any more of this anime?"
Using all the willpower in his body, Sans forced himself to dig the disc case from under the couch cushion and pass it to Toriel. They had just finished Disc One and there were six more discs of gooey-eyed snail adventures to go. It was going to be a long, adorable night.