Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Rating: pg-13?
Summary: Even the Greats had to start somewhere small and easy before progressing on to do bigger and more difficult things. And Santana Lopez? Was always destined to be great at whatever she did.
Spoilers: Bits and pieces from everywhere, so to be safe, up to current episodes.
Author's Note;; Written for my beta, LeftiesAreHot. Unbeta'd, all mistakes mine. I wrote this while I was sick and tired, so please forgive me if this is a little messy.
This was supposed to be a '5 times' fic but... It didn't quite work out that way. Have fun reading!
Even the Greats had to start somewhere small and easy before progressing on to do bigger and more difficult things. And Santana Lopez? Was always destined to be great at whatever she did.
And she was. She was the greatest bitch to ever grace the halls of McKinley (the only reason why she wasn't the undisputed top bitch of WMHS was because she wasn't some blonde Barbie- racism, she should sue, no pun intended), she was the best home wrecker ever, and she is the most fantastic lay around. Seriously. Ask anyone for that last one, and they'd totally back her up on that (except Finn, but he was a lost cause anyway, what with his horrifying lack of brain cells). Sex with Santana was like having sex with... Well there isn't anyone else to compare it to, really. Finn should be castrated for not appreciating his five minutes of orgasmic bliss.
...it totally isn't her fault that he couldn't refrain from blowing his load just a little while in.
Point is, Santana knew that she would be great at whatever she did. What did it matter that most of those things were mostly on the negative scale? From Santana's point of view, it was way too easy to be nice. It did, however, take a certain level of skill to be as badass as she was. She totally beat Puck because for a girl, her arms were pretty damn spectacular, plus she had rockin' abs and totally better hair. Best of all, when she pulled shit she didn't get caught. Though mostly she could grudgingly attribute that to Puck- He always took the fall silently if he were unlucky enough to be caught. Times like those, it was really handy to be a smallish statured girl, able to squeeze into some really tiny hiding places. That was probably the reason why she slept around with Puck as long as she did. A form of thanks. It totally helped that he was good at what he did, so. It was totally legit for WMHS' two resident badasses to be screwing around.
When Brittany insisted that it took the same amount of skill to be nice... Well, who was Santana to argue?
Actually, scrap that. She argued as best she could before the blonde gave her the saddest pout imaginable, resulting in Santana forfeiting the argument without more protest, which made Brittany really happy, which led to them getting their lady kisses and progressing to-
Yeah. You get the point.
After, as they'd lain on Brittany's bed all sweaty and naked and one of Santana's arms clutching the taller girl possessively to her side while a creepy poster of Zac Efron's head stared down at them like a pervert, Brittany had brought the topic up again.
Rolling to her side and propping her head up on an arm, Brittany traced the fingers of her other hand over Santana's sensitive collarbone. "You should make it a revolution, San."
"What?" Santana croaked in her post-sex voice, becoming increasingly distracted by what Brittany's long, smooth fingers were doing. She really should have paid attention.
"Being nice. You should set a target! To make it more badass you could totally be sneaky about it too, and not tell them that-" Her rambling got cut off by Santana flipping her back onto her back, straddling Brittany's abdomen while she reached up to fix her own dark hair out of the way. It'd gotten plastered all over her face, neck and back and was just getting really annoying.
"Will you stop talking if I agreed to whatever harebrained idea you have?"
Brittany had been delighted. "Promise?" She asked, leaning up on her elbows and extending a pinkie.
Lips twitching with nostalgic indulgence, Santana linked their pinkies, pressed their thumbs together then kissed their joined hands. Back when they were younger they had sealed all pinkie promises with serious hacking and spitting, but those things were just beyond them now. "Promise."
The smile that Brittany had given her was so wide and blinding that for a moment, Santana was bedazzled. Then soft lips were on hers and their positions were reversed and Santana couldn't be bothered with something as complicated as thinking anymore.
}{}{}{
She hadn't set some huge kind of goal that would ruin her reputation of being a badass. It hadn't been much of a resolution, actually, but luckily Brittany had been pleased enough with it, saying that 'Everyone amazing has to start somewhere, San. Small is good! Small is easy' which had totally made Santana dig in her heels and up it by like five times because Santana Lopez did not do easy.
Thinking back upon it, she realized that she had been played. And very well played, indeed.
Now, instead of doing a good deed every two months, she was going to have to do five. How the hell was she going to accomplish that? To top it off, she wasn't allowed to tell anyone (except Brittany, of course) of what she did. She nearly baulked and ran in the other direction at that because come on, if she was going to be a pansy ass and all nice to people, she at least wanted credit. But, as she'd found out and had known for most of her life, Brittany could be very persuasive.
And no, Brittany wasn't above using her womanly wiles to get what she wanted. Santana complained that it was cheating, but after going through crap just to come out to Brittany and subsequently, the Glee Club and the whole damn school, and getting her girl back from the gross man-paws of a 'Cripple Who Shall Not Be Named Lest Santana Goes Into A Rage And Kills Everyone Except Brittany', she wasn't about to do anything that would cause Brittany to retreat from her for even a day. Plus, you know, life was good. Kurt was back and had jumped ship with Blaine from the Singing Canaries or whatever they were called after they totally lost at Regionals, so New Directions was going pretty strong.
No one would, say, miss a certain wheelchair-bound wanker if she took a leaf from the book of one Sue Sylvester and pushed him and his stupid contraption down the stairs. Then kicked the hideous cross between a blue whale and an African elephant down to land on him.
But Brittany kept such a close watch on her whenever Artie was anywhere near the two of them and really, Santana did the same just to make sure the douche stayed away, so that wasn't much of a plan.
She would, however, mark that down as her first good deed- And because she was so nice, she was going to put them under just one. After all, she wouldn't want to cop out of the deal Brittany and her had made for when Santana did her five nice things. See, the winner fucked the loser (aha, so there), and the loser basically had to plan this huge romantic date which okay, Santana was going to do for Brittany anyway, win or lose. She just had this neurotic need to win, back off.
When Santana told Brittany later that day about her first nice thing which is totally legit, shut up, Brittany had grinned crookedly and agreed to let that count. She didn't have much of a choice since Santana was knuckle deep and the blonde's brain was overloading and she would have agreed to anything at that point (Santana is an opportunist, obviously), but she agreed. And that was that.
Cool beans. One day of the two month deadline had passed, and she only had four more to go. This being nice thing wasn't so bad.
}{}{}{
Just because there were now more out and proud gays in the school didn't mean the students were any less homophobic.
Santana could hold them off of her and Brittany because... Face it, she's Santana Lopez. However, Kurt was about as scary as a baby turtle and Blaine was all for bursting out in song in retaliation instead of getting his knuckles bloodied, so that relationship wasn't very safe from jarheads like Karofsky. The hockey team in particular were very against the gays- Or, as Kurt had put it once, 'Teh Ghei' (what the fuck was with that?)-, so after having to break open a locker to get both Kurt and Blaine out of it, Santana decided that WMHS was going to become a lot more gay friendly or else. And that was totally going to be a good deed of hers.
But that was a huge step, and Brittany refused to let it make up the remaining four. She refused to even count it as one, stating that Santana should do that anyway because they themselves were openly gay, and it was part of the 'gay code' or something. She wasn't really paying attention to much of what Brittany said after the tall blonde had mentioned Rachel and Quinn.
...Rachel and Quinn? Quinn? The Quinn Fabray, Queen of the Chastity Ball and Grade A prude? The frigid icicle who made anyone who tried to get to second base with her pray? Together with the singing leprechaun of doom? When did that even happen? How did that even happen?
Brittany had laughed affectionately, ruffled her hair before dropping a kiss on her scrunched up nose and called her slow. Then she skipped off.
Later at Glee, Santana observed the two with such single-minded intensity that both of them looked at her weird. They were sitting with one seat between them, but Santana saw it. She saw what Brittany had seen for weeks now- The discrete touches, little smiles and glances. God, those two were as subtle as a rainbow mammoth chasing after a prehistoric banana. With Quinn being the hairy elephant because she used to be pregnant. Ha-ha, get it?
...no? Okay nevermind.
Then a thought overtook her, and she couldn't help the gigantic smirk that overtook her face. Because between Puck and Finn? They totally turned more than half the girls in Glee gay. Wasn't that something? Was that why Finn wasn't rampaging around like a Godzilla reincarnate about neither Rachel nor Quinn being with him- Because he knew they were gay for each other? Or was he just...oblivious?
It was probably the latter.
But okay. Now she had two vic- ...recipients for her random acts of kindness. Kurt and Quinn. And by association, Blaine and Rachel, which could make up her four. She wasn't going to ask Brittany though, because she wanted to surprise her gorgeous girlfriend with the news that she won.
To the winner would go the spoils, and those spoils would be super sweet.
But it required careful planning.
}{}{}{
The next time they had glee, Brittany and Santana burst through the choir room doors early, nearly falling over each other, giggling and hands wandering. Unfortunately for the two, another glee couple was already there.
Mike despondently waved at the two girls, his cute Asian face pulled into an adorable Asian frowny pout as he watched his Asian girlfriend tap away on her iPhone. From the device came the clear sounds of Angry Birds and crashing and the stupid happy tune that signified the winning of a level.
Because the 'Dude With No Bones' was so cute and Brittany loved dancing with him, Santana decided to step in and help him out. Tina was being a crappy girlfriend- It wasn't the first time Santana had seen something along these lines go down. No, that girl was completely addicted to that game and that shit had to stop. Mike was super fine, in a 'been there tapped that' kind of way, and Santana held a soft spot for him. Besides, she also felt sorry for his skinny Asian ass because his mother was a little too fixated on all things Asian. It got scary. Really, panda hair tea? Nasty.
That night, Santana stayed up and did a little research. After finding what she needed, she headed to an Internet Cafe and forked over a couple of bucks. Fifteen minutes and an email later, she was done and on her way to Brittany's house, slipping through her window and climbing under the covers to snuggle with the blonde.
The day after, Tina cried throughout the whole day because her iPhone had a virus that basically put it out of commission for a couple of weeks while it was being repaired. And the iTunes on her computer was corrupted.
Santana mentally patted herself on the back, her smirk only growing when she caught Mike looking a little relieved and, dare she say it, thankful, a couple times.
She was pretty damn awesome at this being nice thing. Two down, three to go.
}{}{}{
After witnessing Rachel Berry get slushied one day, Santana sneakily followed the girl to the locker rooms. While the annoying midget was taking a shower, Santana stole all her clothes, jammed chairs under several doors then dumped the dirty clothes in the washing machine that was on hand for the Cheerios.
A quick wash and dry later, Santana folded the clothes neatly and placed them on a bench before pushing the chairs aside and fleeing before Rachel could find out who she was. The diva had been yelling for help, the door shaking as she tried fruitlessly to yank it open. She sounded really mad and Santana wasn't really wanting to get verbally (probably even physically) glassed when Rachel got out, especially since she was doing a good thing. Rachel had sighed (rather loudly) that she didn't have a spare change of clothes that day so really, she had been doing the shorter girl a favour.
True, it might have involved locking Rachel in a shower cubicle for an hour and making her miss a couple of classes, but it was better than making her walk around all day in slushie soaked clothing, right?
So Rachel made three done. Just two more before Santana finished and won.
}{}{}{
Her next act was to smear superglue to the helmets and shoulder pads of the football players who kept up with slamming Kurt and Blaine into things. The hockey punks were luckier- They got itching powder in all their gym clothes.
One of them, a frog-faced bastard called Joshua, amassed a broken nose, a sprained wrist, a broken foot and several cracked ribs when Santana found Brittany with purple slushie dripping off of her after a class they didn't share together. The tall blonde was standing in the middle of the hallway, utterly bewildered, tears mixing in with the stains starting to form on her outfit. Santana had been beyond enraged. While Rachel escorted Brittany to a bathroom to get cleaned up, Santana and Quinn went on a manhunt.
Or rather, Santana hissed at the surrounding crowd until a name was croaked, then she took off like a bat out of hell. Quinn tried to hold the pissed off Latina back, but got dragged along as the girl tracked down the football player who had dared slushie her girlfriend. No one slushied Brittany. Ever. It was a fucking rule.
As it turned out, Santana did have it in her to shove someone down a flight of stairs after stomping hard on his foot and smashing her fist against his face. And, because she was one classy lady, she tossed a slushie down after him before storming away.
She might have got suspended for a week and had to have her wrist in a cast for longer, but it had been worth it. And despite the stern face Brittany tried to put on, Santana knew that she was pleased and touched. Brittany had shown her just how much after they got home from the doctor's office.
The homophobes backed off when news of Joshua not being able to play again for the rest of the year came out, and by the time Santana got back to school, Quinn and Rachel were partially out of the closet.
}{}{}{
Because she had a week off from school, Santana took that time to pay a visit to every free clinic in and around Lima. They gave some really interesting (read: creepy) talks and heaps of free samples, so why not?
The day Santana returned, Quinn opened her locker after classes were done only to have at least a hundred dental dams of different colours spill out.
Rachel, after she got over her shock, had been amused.
Quinn had not. Santana had been previously unaware of just how red the ex head cheerio could turn. She snapped a picture because that was definitely one for the scrapbooks.
Then snapped another one when Quinn found a few stapled pages listing the step-by-step method of pleasing another woman, and abruptly turned a dull purple. Santana had never seen anything quite so hilarious (or disturbing) in her life. But hey, at least now Quinn had been sufficiently educated and would know how to please the singing troll safely, so she counted that as a win.
}{}{}{
That night, long after Brittany had dozed off, Santana lay awake thinking.
One hand traced idly over Brittany's bare shoulder as she mentally went through everything, sparing several moments to grin as she recollected Quinn's face, and flexing her left hand once when Joshua came to mind. Then a wide and insufferably smug smile took over her facial features at the thought of Tina's iPhone.
See? The internet wasn't totally for porn.
A few seconds later, Santana's hand halted in its path as she counted again. Then again, just to be sure. A little giggle escaped her when her tallies worked out.
"Britt," She whispered, pressing a kiss to the blonde's ear, "B, wake up. I gotta tell you something."
"Huh?" Eyes still closed, Brittany rolled over and sat up. "Santana?"
"I'm here, Britt." Unable to help it, Santana kissed both of her girl's eyelids and wrapped her arms around her. "I did it."
Blue eyes finally blinked open, squinting against the sudden light from the bedside lamp as they focused on Santana's form, filled with confusion.
"I did the five nice things," Santana clarified, smiling brightly. "I gave Quinn materials that would aid her in having safe sex with Rachel, washed Rachel's clothes when she got slushied, punched out Frog-Face and made homophobic bastards itch or get stuck in their helmets, helped Mike with his relationship with Tina, and didn't kill Fuckface or the honking walrus. It's only been a month!"
Brittany stayed silent.
"Does this mean I win?" Santana asked after a few seconds had passed.
"San..." Brittany started, and Santana groaned, flopping onto her back and throwing an arm over her face.
"Being nice sucks, Britt. I hate it. I don't wanna do it anymore!"
"You're nice to me all the time," Brittany pointed out needlessly, causing Santana to uncover her eyes and stare incredulously at the blonde. "I was gonna say that yes, you win," Brittany continued.
"Really?" Santana was pleased and gratified.
"Really," Brittany confirmed with a firm nod of her head, pulling herself over Santana and peppering kisses all over her forehead and cheeks, drifting to her nose and lips. "I love you."
"Love you more, B. Love you more."
Even the Greats had to start somewhere small and easy. Santana Lopez was always destined to be great, but she did not do easy. Despite having won their little thing, she still took Brittany out for a fantastic date ending with hours of mindless pleasure that got the blonde even more enamoured with her, if possible.
Her agreeing to keep up with the whole five good deeds every two months thing just to make Brittany happy may have added on to that, but hey. It was a small price to pay. Besides, she was pretty damn awesome at being nice.
Even the Greats had to start somewhere small, Santana reflected, but if each one of those supposed 'Greats' had someone like Brittany by their side, they would have been able to take one step further to earn the title of 'The Greatest'. As far as she was concerned, that title belonged to the beautiful blonde girl who talked to her cat and crickets, who believed in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, and who loved Santana unconditionally.
That's right, bitches. Unconditionally. Let's see you top that.