I'm still not quite use to all this changing so quickly. Everything I going so quick. It's been about five years since I was born and I look like a thirteen year old. According to a guy who came to help my family, the Cullen's, when I was about three months old, I would stop growing when I was about seven or eight.

I sort of liked that idea but we move so much. In the first two years of my life I lost count of how many time we moved. But I suppose that living with vampires you don't really stay in one place for a long period of time. But according to Alice, my aunt, they had stayed in Forks for about four years before I was born. That didn't help with my self-esteem.

But hey, I still have a loving and caring family wherever I go. But dad, Edward, does get really protective at times. Like once we just settled down and I was just sitting in the yard, and all of a sudden he comes out of nowhere and grabs me and puts me inside. We did find out he wasn't paranoid when we found three humans dead in the forest on our next hunting trip. He probably 'heard' someone.

Back to present, I'm sitting in the Lounge room and where everyone is just lounging around. Carlisle is at work. Jasper, Rose, Esme and Mum, Bella, are on a hunting trip. Which leaves Dad, Alice, Emmett and me back at home. I wasn't thirsty so dad said I didn't need to go. I can live of human food as well as blood. A plus for being half and half. The others should have gone. Their eyes are going dark and bruises are appearing under their eyes. But dad wanted to stay which then turned into a long thing with 'if you stay so do I'. Emmett isn't thirsty like me because he and I went about four days ago behind everyone's back. So he didn't need to go but Dad didn't want me on 'protected' by Emmett so he stayed and then Alice stayed but she convinced Jasper to go. He still has trouble. Sometimes.

I really feel like going into town but I know dad wont let me go by myself and it's all sunny. The phone rings. Alice moans.

"Great." Dad says with his own moan.

"I'll get it." I run to the phone. I hope its Jacob. I haven't talked to Jacob since like two weeks ago. I pick up the phone.

" Hello."

" Hey, Ness." My wish comes true. Again. Now I understand the moans now from dad and Alice.

" Jake! How are you? Are you okay? Why haven't you called for awhile?" I have a million other questions but I better take I breath. I hear a chuckle from somewhere in the room. I guess that it was Emmett. He always does that when I ask so many questions and I also guess that dad looks annoyed. But I also hear chuckles at the end of the phone. I relax. I love the way Jake laughs.

"Ness. I'm fine. Everything is okay and the reason why haven't called you is because you haven't been in one place for me to call you." I frown. There's certain edge to his voice. But he's right. We have been on the move for a while now. Dad and Mum wanted to move to a place where I would be 'safe'. But I think the main reason for dad was that he didn't want Jacob around. I sort of sighed. But not load. I could feel eyes on me. Dad. Yep he heard me. Great.

"Good, are you going to come see us?" Dad stands up and crosses the room. He holds his hand out for the phone. I frown at him and mouth no.

" Umm Ness that might not be a good idea."

"Why?"

"Well you know how I said everything okay? Well it isn't. Charlie's sick. La Push is in a bad state and weird things are happening." I drop the phone. I go over the words in my head. Dad realizes what's going on. Alice and Em cross the room. Alice hugs me and whispers in my ear.

"What's wrong?"

I just shake my head. Charlie sick, La Push in a bad state and weird things happening? I knew the moving jibe wasn't the only reason he didn't call. Dad picks up the phone.

"What?" a moment passes and dad stiffens and moans.

"Fantastic." His voice was heavy with sarcasm.

" Yeah you better stay there. No we can't come back I don't want to expose Ness to this." I roll my eyes.

" Dad we have to go back. Charlie's sick! Mum will back me up on this!"

"Okay bye Jacob." He hangs up.

"Wait I hadn't finished talking to him!"

"Yes you have and your mum wont find out about this." Alice looks at dad I surprise. Dad didn't keep things from mum.

"What ever."

"What is with your attitude!?"

"Maybe you haven't realized but I am a teenager. My brain has developed pass these years but my body hasn't! You were one once you know what I mean." At the end my voice became weaker.

"Ness I have and that is why I am tired of the attitude. Even though I am not really a teenager anymore when I met your mum I went against my better judgment. It shouldn't have happened." Gasps come from Emmett and Alice.

"So you are calling everything a mistake? Including me?" I'm still trying to understand everything.

"Yes I am saying that! I went past my better judgment making that deal with your mother and I shouldn't have done that."

I start to cry I can't believe what I was hearing. I run to my room. I feel eyes on my back. I feel tears start to overflow.

"Great job Ed." I hear footsteps behind me.

"No Alice, I'll go." Good. I can talk to Emmett and he doesn't think about things much.

"Okay." Alice replies and I could tell she was about to tell off dad.

I went to my room and slammed my door behind me. I ran to my bed and just let the tears overflow. Charlie may be my Grandpa but he was also my friend, a really close friend.

I hear a tap on the door.

" Ness, can I come in?"

" If I say no you'll come in anyway." I say between sniffs. He laughs but it was almost muted. He crosses the room and sits next to me on the bed. He rubs my back.

"You know why he said that and he didn't mean it."

" Yes I do. But mum should know and we should go see him." I ignore the second bit.

"Now you know why we can't do that. You are meant to be five and you look like a young teenager and your mum hasn't changed a bit." I look though my thick blonde curls. Emmett moves them behind my ear. He sees the tears.

" Don't cry. You know how much it hurts everyone when you do that." That was true. Mainly Rose though. Luckily she wasn't here.

"Em…" I couldn't continue I knew it probably wouldn't happen.

"What is it Ness?" His voice was really low so I was guessing Dad and Alice would be listening.
I smile at him and lie.

"Nothing."

He raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. I'm as bad as a liar as mum. No one ever believes us.

He sighs. He knows me and he knows I won't budge.

"Okay. But if you need to talk just say so."

He gets up and goes to the door. With one last glance at me he leaves the room and closes the door.

Once again I let the tears take control of my body. I curl up on my bed and think about what dad had just said.

I was surprised that no one came to see me. But I suppose they have learnt with all my other crying fits. I only had a few but they were bad. They were worse when mum wasn't home.

That way why I sighed in relief when I felt mum was home. It's hard to explain. It must be a motherly daughter thing.

Only a minute later mum knocks on the door.

"Ness can I come in?"

I was tempted to say what I said to Emmett but I didn't.

"Yeah mum, come in."

She creeps through the door. This sort of confused me. Why would she be doing that?

"Er mum what's with the erm…creeping?"

"I don't know." We laugh together. Mum and I are the best of friends. I tell her everything but I wont tell her the thing between dad and I.

Mum come to me and sits next to me. I cuddle into her right side. I sigh. I feel so content when I'm with mum. She brushes my long hair out of my face and kisses my forehead. She whispers in my ear. Her cool breath makes me shiver.

"Ness what have I missed. I feel a lot of tension in your body."

I knew what she meant. Even I could feel the tension not only in me but also in the atmosphere. Jasper would be going crazy.

"Oh nothing mum. I'm just having your average teenage mood change." I try to sound convincing but mum doesn't buy it.

"Your not good at lying Ness."

"I get that from my mum." I smile at her. Or at least try.

But I knew that was true. I couldn't tell her about the thing with dad it would make her upset and angry. I didn't like it. Mum and dad are really close. Even I can tell. It must be some love thing. Sort of like Jake and me. Oh Jake.

"Umm nothing really." I pause for a second and try to phase my next statement. "Jake called today. Everything is good at home."

Mum and I always call Forks and La Push home. The funny thing is the last bit actually sounded true.

"That's great. I wish I was here."

No you don't. I think to myself.

"Ness you look really tired. Have you been crying?" Great. Mum always gets worked up when she thinks I have been hurt.

"Mum its nothing. I just started crying out of the blue. Must be the hormones." Again it all sounded true. It startled me.

"Okay Ness. I better let you sleep." She sounded unsure.

"Night mum. Love you."

"I'll send your dad up."

"No! Um I mean its good I am really tired by the time he gets up here ill be asleep."

"Erm okay then 'Night Ness." She left the room still unsure.

That night I didn't sleep all to well. I kept on waking up and thinking about dad's words. I finally decided that the next day I would go to dad and talk to him about it. That would be hard considering everyone is home and if we go out into the forest to talk and things go bad I might get lost. But I decided that if that is what it takes to set things right that is what I'll do.

* * *

At about six the next day I went downstairs for breakfast. I was tired from the sleepless night. Everyone was surprised to see me up so early but no one said anything. I stumbled towards the kitchen. I fell at the entrance and Jasper caught me.

"You should try to cheer up." He whispered in my ear. His cool breath was very welcome since I had been sweating all night.

I smiled at him and said, "I'll try."

He smiled back and walked to the lounge where Alice was sitting. I continued into the kitchen and got a glass of milk and some toast. I wasn't hungry but I knew I would be later if I didn't eat now.

I walked out to the lounge room where everyone else was watching TV. Alice and Emmett looked at me with anxious eyes. They obviously remembered last night's events. I smiled at them and they relaxed. Dad and Mum where on the love seat whispering to each other and dad chuckled. Carlisle had gone to work at the hospital but Esme was alone on the other seat. I went and sat by her. She put an arm around me and whispered.

" I know about last night. Alice told me." I looked around but it seemed no one heard her but me.

"Did she tell anyone else?" I whispered back with an anxious edge to my voice.

She rubbed my arm.

"No."

I let out a breath of relief. That made dad turn to me.

I looked down at my toast. I felt his eyes on me but then mum said something to him, he chuckled and kissed her. This was typical behavior for mum and dad. I liked seeing them happy.

I finished my food in silence and walked out side. It was really windy so when I walked outside the wind slapped my face. I rubbed my own arms because I didn't feel like going inside to get a jacket. About a second later a jacket draped over my shoulders. Then hands rubbed my shoulders.

"You know better than to go out on a cold day with no jacket." It was dad. Typical.

"Yeah but I didn't look cold outside from inside."

We were silent for several seconds. After a while the silence was unbearable. I had to get this over and done with.

"Dad did you really mean what you said last night?" My voice was a whisper. I looked back at him and his eyes were closed.

"Yes." My heart sped up. That hurt. I sort of wanted him to say no. That he wasn't thinking. I knew he could hear what I was thinking but I continued like he couldn't.

"Do you ever wish you could go back and do it so I was never born?" I was just able to choke the words out.

"Yes I have Renesme." It was rare for dad to call me by my full name. So I knew he meant it.

"Would you? I mean if you had the choice?"

He took a deep breath. "Yes I would. You shouldn't have happened Renesme. You may not agree but everything would have been easier but I cant so…"

"So…"I ask.

"I can't change the past."

"You may not be able to change the past but you can change the future."

He looked down at me. "What does that mean." A frown was beginning to form on his forehead.

"What I mean is I can change the future so I don't exist. Everyone may remember me for awhile but they will forget."

"Renesme Carlie Cullen what are you thinking?"

"Can't you hear it?" I blinked, startled.

"You inherited part of you mums talent as well." He had frustration in his voice.

"Oh."

"Renesme what are you thinking?" He asked again. Starting to get really frustrated now.

" I'm saying tomorrow I am leaving for Italy."

I look at him and I see him deliberating.

" Dad I think I should. Mum may get hurt for a while. So would Rose but they'll be fine they have you and Em. Actually I'm leaving now. It'll make things easier."

He grabbed my arm as I turn towards the house.

"Renesme…. Your mum will kill me when she finds out I let you go."

"Don't worry dad. I'll leave her a note." Before he can speak to me again I run towards the house. I didn't stop at the door. I run straight up the stairs and into my room. I feel eyes on me the whole time.

I stuffed several pairs of clothes into my backpack and some food I kept in my room for when I didn't feel like going down stairs. I picked up my mobile and ring the airlines. I booked one flight straight to Italy.

There was a knock on my door. Then Alice was by my bed looking at my bed. On my bed I had my almost ready bag and food to put in it.

"Ness I can see everyone's futures now."

I knew she knew that I was leaving without seeing the bag. It was just a confirmation.

"I have to Alice."

I ran to my desk and started writing the letter to mum.

Mum,

I'm so sorry. This has to be done. Ask dad to tell you one day. Forget everything in the last five years. I love you and everyone. I miss you already. You will never see me again so burn this letter to help you forget. Tell everyone else to forget too. I love you so much. That is why I'm doing this. I'm so sorry. Love you for every bit of forever.

Renesme.

As I sealed the envelope I started to cry. Alice was beside me in an instant.

"Ness, tell me what's going on."

" I'm leaving Alice. I'm never coming back."

Alice looked at me in shock.

"You can't be serious."

"I am and I have to leave. I'll miss my plane."

I hugged her and kissed her cheek.

"Love you Alice. Give this to mum in three days time. That should give me enough time."

Before she could answer I was out the window and headed towards the garage. I'm glad I have a fake ID, even a fake drivers license.

I took my little convertible. At least this will help them forget. I look to where dad and I last talked. Dad was still standing there. Mum was making her way out to him.

I hit the accelerator and went the back way. I knew mum would see me leave but she would think it was a joy ride. I normally did that. But this wasn't a joy ride.