Disclaimer : Neither GS nor GSD is mine, although I'll be more than grateful if only I do.. -_- Anyway, I only own this story and its plot.
Author's Note: This story took place in early GSD. Fllay had survived, and actually lived with Kira. So in this story Athrun hadn't been targeted yet. If you have any confusions about the plot, don't hesitate to email me ok? Please enjoy!^^
Because Love is a Choice
He sighed as he took a tray of food and brought it to his usual table in the centre of canteen. His thought was wondering around. He was thinking about her. He thought about what happened last week, wondering whether he could change all of it or not if he tried harder ; not like he hadn't tried hard, in fact it was the hardest thing he'd ever fight for but still it was not enough somehow.
Still, it was not enough yet to change her mind.
The blue-haired guy sighed heavily for the second time. He just stared blankly at the fullness of the plate in front of him. He couldn't enjoy this regular meal ; a France bread, tomato soup, a big piece of meat and a glass of orange juice. He wasn't complaining about the menu that never change, no, it was not like him to complain. But this time, he complained. He complained about this and about her. He blamed her for being so stubborn and stupid.
But the worst is he blamed himself for being a fool to fall in love with her.
He moved his spoon and just swung it slowly around the soup, feel the hot liquid moving, feel the substances of it became a mess. But he didn't care. At least not today. He could feel his own heartbeat as well everytime he thought about her, like now.
I mean, we're just different. ZAFT and your friends need you, and my country needs me as well. I have still another things to take care of as a Representative of Orb. And-and I can't have you waiting for me if you can live up on your own, That's just not fair for you.
And since when did she think that he didn't love to wait her? He could wait for God-knows-how-long if she asked him for it. He enjoyed each and every seconds they were together, not caring the looks of the people around her gave him whenever he came to give her company. What kind of things she expected for him to accomplish?
So, I guess this is goodbye?
That's it. Ignoring his lunch –which was left untouched- , he then stood up before leaving the canteen. I guess all I have to do is to talk to someone. And the one left around me right now is just.. So then he took off his cellphone and pressed his long fingers to several buttons. He just had to wait for two beeps before the line caught it's connection to the operator.
"Sorry, but could you please connect me to the Joule Residence?" He asked the female as he stopped right in front of the canteen "..Yes, I need to tell him something important. Please Tell him it's from the old friend of his, Athrun. You heard me, it's Athrun Zala. Yes, yes I understand. Thank you very much."
That was all he got to say before he closed the phone and left.
It's time for calling off his friends and, he thought as he arrived in the parking lot. Reunite again like those old days..
~{}~
At the same time but in the opposite direction, far far away from ZAFT's Base Millitary Forces, a redhead girl was watching the flowers in her little garden quietly. Buth her thought drift away as she remembered what she was supposed to do right now.
Instead of took her usual chores, here she was, standing in a big house in the side of PLANT's Capital City. After several minutes passed, she sighed heavily. Since she had a really lot of spare time which had to be passed, she used it to reminisce about what happened last year. About the reasons for being here instead of staying in Earth in her own mansion.
Unrealized, her lovely lips curved slightly into a small smile.
In happened 2 years ago. In the end of the war, when she was taken back to Archangel safely after several hours being in a small life-pod, she couldn't help but cried when she stepped off from the life-pod and met her savior and love, Kira Yamato. She was really colose, really close to death when[Raw La Crueset's MS] that was controlled by Raw La Crueset shot the green life-pod she was in. But suddenly, a blue-and-white mobile suit, Freedom came from nowhere and shielded in. She knew it was Kira. He kept his promises to protect her wherever she was.
That time was also the time when she realized her feelings. She loved Kira. Yes, she finally could say that sentence, the sentence that she never thought would be said wholeheartedly especially to someone like Kira.
After Freedom ran after [Raw La Crueset's MS] , for the second time she was alone again. But she was not afraid this time, knowing that Kira would truly be there for her, only her. She knew that she didn't need to worry about him because she knew he would return. He would return to her. Because he had cheated on death once long time ago, she was sure he would do that again this time.
But even though she had kept that thought, seeing him finally came and escorrted her was something unbearable. Something rigid and and relief almost burst within her chest- making her tears rolling down her soft cheek when she saw him there, went downstair in the hangar. This time,it was finally over.
After being out from the life-pod, she found herself flying towards him and before she could say a word, his index finger was placed firmly on her lips.
"No, Fllay. Don't say anything." The brunette said before removing his fingers. "...After all, it's not your fault."
The redhead shook her head mouth wanted to say something to him, anything, but she just couldn't do that because of her cries. She just simply clutching his armor and let herself being embraced by that warm and loving hand.
"I love you, Fllay." He murmured silently as he smelled her sweet scent deeply. He still could remember the scent of her hair, her body and the warm and soft her skin felt against his. "I once did, and I will always do."
She couldn't say anything to reply, to tell him that she loved him and stuff but she knew she didn't need to say it for Kira had already known it.
~{}~
After that, she came with Kira to Archangel to fix some problems there. She met her, Lacus Clyne for the second time. But now, their meeting was more friendly and...normal. Fllay Allster didn't know that the pink haired princess loved him, and Lacus had no intention to break up her secret just to break their peaceful meeting. There, little by little, she could accept Lacus as a Coordinator and made a better progression for their relationship. Although they still couldn't be called as bestfriend, but still their relationship relieved all the people around them. They could see and accpet who they were. Fllay could see her as a ZAFT Princess that betrayed her own country because of the differences of mind and to defend people who were considered as victims.
Lacus, in the other hand, could see her as a girl who were blinded by anger and hatred for Coordinator, the race her father despised most, and as the result of it, blamed everything to Kira and avenge him because of his broken promise to protect the only person she had in this world as a family, her dad. And a broken girl who was forced to face the war despite her being not ready for it. And above all, the one who was loved by the man she loved.
Love, she thought sadly as she looked at both of them, is not something to be claimed for eternity.
There, Kira was called by ZAFT to be part of their millitary for the tension between ZAFT and ORB had almost dissapear. Seeing no harm to join them and to keep an eye on what they were doing, he decided to accept their offer. But convincing Fllay was another story.
It was around the dawn when Fllay just finished her shopping and in her way home. She could see the lamps of her mansion even in this very far distance. Everytime she saw her mansion, all she could remember was her father. All their memories was replaying over and over again, especially in this melancholy and silent night, when she had all the time to reflect and pondered about her life. And all of it was not something she felt happy for. She loved her dad, yes,she really loved him but she really need to move on as well, not being shadowed by their memories. Because everytime she remembered about it, the next thing she would remember was when his ship crashed right in front of her eyes. And she would be reminded again for her bitchy-behavior. And she hated it. And to forget it meant to forget their memories as well. She wouldn't want to do it if she could, but it seem like it was the only choice fate gave her.
She was pulled from the thought when a black Lamborghini stopped right feets away from where she stood. Then, a blue haired boy came out and removed his black glasses.
"Fllay Allster, am I right?" He asked with his gentle smile as he tucked his glasses inside his pocket. He didn't move forward, however, made her narrowing her eyes slightly to get a better look in the dim light of the road lamps.
"Yes, and you are?"
His smile was once again tucked on his lips before he stepped toward her. " I'm Kira's friend. My name is Athrun Zala." He held out his hand, only receiving a confused woman in front of him.
She felt rude for not replying his gesture so she received his hand softly, still with that dumb expression on her face." I-I'm sorry, but I never see you before, so.."
"It's okay. We never see each other in person, in fact." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before removing his hand from hers. " But I had heard a lot of things about you, that's way I could recognize you earlier."
"You did?" She blinked for several times, surprised.
He laughed softly. "Yes, I'm certainly getting tired for hearing about you from two different men."
Now it got her interest. "..I beg your pardon?"
"Well, Kira has told me about you, far more than you could imagine. And I had imagined how you looked like from what he had told me, anyway."
"Well?" She asked in fear, suddenly feeling afraid she was out from his expectation. "..Are you dissapointed now?"
"No, no of course not." He shook his head gently, trying to give her his assurance. " In fact, you're even better from what I imagined, yet still as the same as how I tried to imagine about you."
"That's good, then." She exhaled slightly, not knowing why she felt relieved in sudden.
"And Yzak certainly had his own way to picture an image about you as well."
Fllay's heart stopped in a moment, hearing her former guard-prisoner. Athrun seemed to realize it as well for his eyebrows arched in worry.
"Are you alright?"
She blinked again then shook her head. "Y-yes, of course. Sorry for making you worry."
She was replied by that gentle smile again. But soon, the silence slipped for they didn't know what else to talk about.
"So, you and Yzak-san were in the same military before?"
"Yes, but I was resigned so that's why you haven't met me." He was glad she could change the subject before turning an apologize expression to her. " ...I'm sorry. I heard my former captain had kidnapped you when I was resigned, so..."
"And almost killed me.." She murmured darkly as a flash of memories played on her mind. She gazed at the floor sadly.
"...I'm sorry."That was all he could say as he shifted uncomfortable. This kind of topic was kind of depressing, reminded him of the dark memories about the military. "...I hope I could change it, somehow. Someway, I hoped I could make a change. But it was all beyond my capabiliity. And-"
"It's okay."She shook her head gently. "Really, it's okay. Everyone have changed. I'm sure, if Creusete's still here, he would change as well."All she said was not all a lie. She expected him to be like that, hopefully. Unrealized, she wrapped her arms more tightly around her body as she felt breeze wind swaying softly around them.
Athrun realized her body language as well, for he had opened his jacket and wrapped it around her.
"That's rude from me." He chuckled slightly, feeling a litte ashame for his lack of realization to act like a gentleman supposed to be. He smiled again as she blushed slightly. "...Perhaps we should go somewhere warm. It would be nice to have someone to talk to, once in a while. "
She laughed softly as she tightened his jacket around her body. "But you barely know me. We just met like what, 10 minutes ago?"
"That's right. But it seems that we had a lot of common." He stared at her warmly then held out his hand. "...Let's talk about this in a more proper place. Shall we?"
She just smiled before received his opened hand and let him guide her to his Lamborghini.
~{}~
"So, you've lived here all this time?" He started the conversation as he watched her sipped the hot milktea in front of her." Alone?"
"Of course, who else do you expect me to live with?"
"Yes, but I just think that Kira would come home once a month or so."
"He did, but these days probably kept him busy. He hadn't come home for 3 months already."
Athrun kept silent, but his gaze never left her appereance. He had to admit himself that Kira's taste of woman could be given two thumbs. This woman in front of him was really pretty, and her movement was also graceful like how women supposed to be. Her red hair which now had reached down her shoulder framed her delicate milky-pale face and her long eyelashes could add the beauty of her beautiful grey eyes. All about her was appealing, indeed.
"Is there something wrong?"
He was taken back by the question. Damn, she got me offguarded! Surely she found out the way he had stared at her like an old-pervert leech.
He just cleared his throat and sipped his own cappucino.
"No, I was just thinking how interesting you have to be." He reasoned as he gave him the I-told-you-before smile. "Surely that's what Yzak thought when he told me about you quietly."
She just blushed before lowered her head and just stared at the foam of her milktea. Really, what else she could say when this charming man kept telling her how another man gave her a compliment. She didn't even know what Yzak had told him ; perhaps something good, pervert...or bad? Oh, how she wished to just sink in this chair if he really told him some pervert things!
Athrun just laughed when he saw the heavy blush on her cheek. And really interesting to play with as well.
"Don't worry, he didn't tell me in face. It was just his body language that told me he had known you, in a good way."
"Then maybe you read a wrong signal." She snapped silently as she rolled her eyes to the window. You've got to be kidding me, body language? Geez!
He just merely smiled as he remembered about how Yzak reacted months ago. Really, how could he forget that gaze, that act and that words. He was not someone who could be tricked by something vague, and Yzak's reaction indeed was not vague.
That time he was walking down the hall when he saw Yzak, grabbing a private's collar by neck and yanked him to the wall harshly. He just thought that it was just that act Yzak always did when he was in a really bad mood ; seek a low ranked soldier to yank towards the wall. He was about to continue his walk before his keen ears catched a very interesting conversation between them.
" You called her what?" It was Yzak's voice for sure ; low and deep and creepy (when he was angry). Curious got the best of him as he followed his instincts and walked closer. Yzak, talking about woman? He just simply mused, if it's not his mighty-mother then this woman must be interesting. He was not eavesdropping, no, Athrun Zala was not the kind to eavesdropped people's talk, he was just simply person who accidently passed by. And now, he really passed by, only he passed by this dangerous area very slowly and not willing to walk faster.
"N-Nothing, sir! Really, I-I was just saying..."
"-That Fllay Allster is some kind of high Natural-whore and Captain's using her to satisfy his fucking needs, yeah?" Yzak's tone lowered a little at the last statement. It seemed that he clenched his teeth to retort more painful and to get his little restraint to not kick this brat's ass right here and there.
"N-No, sir! You heard the wrong-"
"Oh, now you think it's my ear's fault and my stupidity to not recognize the word 'whore' and all?" He asked sarcastically, tightened his grip on the private's neck.
"N-No! It was right tha-that I said it, b-but it was just a joke! I-I didn't mean it at all!"
"Let-me-tell-you...Richard." He said in a very low voice as he read the private's name in his badge."Now listen carefully, 'cause it's beyond my fucking care to repeat. First, she IS not whore, if that was what you 'joked' around. Second, Captain has his own authority, power and all to get any women in this country and doesn't need to get a Natural whore which you have 'joked' as well, and Third," He paused as he tightened his grip on his neck, made the private gasped for air. ".. her genes as Natural doesn't have anything with your bitches so stop talking like you're better than her. Understood?" He let him go before giving him another glare. If glare could kill, Yzak's glare must had killed the private since the first moment this conversation started.
"Y-Yes, sir! I hi-highly understand!" He stammered, his face was red from fear as he made a move to retreat. But Yzak's voice made him frozen in place.
"Spread this fucking conversation,"He paused, gave the private shivers in spine as his guts dropped in sudden "I'll shoot you right in where you stand and you'll be in your fucking coffin even before you know it."
The private just stood unmoving,but Yzak had his own satisfaction as he saw the pale face of his. Without giving a care to say any words, he just merely turned and walked away to Athrun's direction which made the haired blue turned quickly and change his direction.
There, after the retreat of Yzak Jule, Athrun had walked back again to where he had seen them. There, he saw the private earlier who entered his own room to packed his things. Athrun noted that according to the private's face, he surely felt threated and feared that Yzak would hunt him down if he speaked once more. He must be planning to move his room to another empty room which was expected to be far enough from the watchful eyes of Yzak Jule.
A small smile appeared on Athrun's lips. Whoever this woman they have mentioned, he mused as he continued his walk, he would like her for sure if she could change the opinion of the stubborn Yzak Jule.
"Athrun?" He blinked again as he felt her gaze bored against him. Quickly, he turned and saw her tilting her head slightly.
"W-wha?"
"You're spacing out there." She inched away as she leaned over the cushion. " Is there something wrong?"
"No, I'm fine. I'm just reminded by some memories." He answered , smiling a little as he sipped the cappucino. Darn, not a full day yet and she had caught him off-guarded twice! He noted silently, to remember to be careful the next minutes.
He glanced to the right, seeing the road lamps being lit and people passing by the Italian Restaurant they were in. "And what time is it exactly?" He muttered silently as he glanced over his... "Damn, it 's been already this late? Kira would kill me if I don't go back to my work!" He sipped the rest of his cappucino before grabbing his jacket from the cushion.
"Wait, you work in Archangel?"
He turned to see her worried expression before answered. "No, I'm in ZAFT Millitary right now. Why do you ask?"
"But you said, Kira-"
"Well, he had been resigned to ZAFT since 2 months ago." He answered shortly, but soon wishing he hadn't said anything. Because when he turned his attention towards the girl once more, the look she had was kind of shock, surprised and...betrayed. "..Wait, didn't he tell you?" He asked slowly, not wanting to made her more shocked.
Fllay was just simply shooking her head as she stared at his deep green orb. "...Can we...talk about it? I-I mean..somewhere else?"
Athrun was just about to decline her offer before staring at her grey was welling up, her tears were brimming up at the corner of her eyes. He sighed before turned his heel again to sit next to her. I guess work could wait, this girl is sure just about to break if someone touches her."Okay, but not here. It's some kind of weird talking about my bestfriend in the public place. Do you have any suggestion?"
Her answer was just short faintly but he could hear her words in her trembling voice. "How about...my house?"
Author's Note : That's it! I edited this chapter and add some new things. Please enjoy this story, and if you have something in your mind about this story, please feel free to send me some emails or reviews ok? (..Not that I force you to review anyway..^^;)