Star Fox: Legend of the dumbass fox and his foxy lady Chapter 1.

"DAMN IT!!!" creamed Star Fox as he ripped the controller out of his PS7 and smashed it against the wall, breaking it into little pieces, then taking out his blaster and shooting every little piece individually. "Calm down, fox!" yells Falco from the bar stool. "Hey!" comes Krystal's voice from the bathroom. "I think I'm almost done! Can someone get me some more TP?" "That's what you said last time!" said Fox, who was now picking up the last few smoldering pieces of the smashed controler. "Then your diarhea started up again." "Ah, c'mon, can't you give a girl a break?" asked Krystal in a pleading voice. "No" replied Fox. "As last time, you tried to repay me with sex, but instead got liquid shit all over my leg." Why you"
"Star fox!" came Pepper's voice over the intercom. We're having trouble with some of Star Wolf's minions! Can you come help us?" "Well..." Fox tried to say. "Great! Thanks Fox"
"Alright!" said Fox, now that they were all in the war room and Krystal's runs were temporarily over. "We've discovered that those fucking apes who serve star wolf are bombarding Corneria! We have to go down there and stop them!... But where's Falco?" Just then, Falco walked in (more staggered in), drunk out of his fucking mind. "Rob! Hurry! Hold him down!" Rob quickly grabbed falco. "PLEASE COME THIS WAY. YOU MUST GO TO BED NOW." "Okay. Krystal, you take his place." said fox. "What the hell? I'm sick! If I go down there, my cockpit will be full of shit in no time!" "YOU ar ethe only thing full of shit in this entire ship!" said Fox. "But you do have a point. That's why I had what I like to call a 'shit-vacuuming toilet tube' installed into your ship. It will connect to your ass, and when you need to shit, it will just fly right out the bottom of your ship!" "Alrighy, let's go..." said Krystal grudgingly.
"Okay! Adjust the G-diffuser!" said fox over his intercom. They were going into the flaming atmosphere of planet Corneria. As soon as they were through, thye fighting started. Fox instantly shot down three bogeys, and the others proceeded to do the same. "What are our main targets?" asked Fox over the intercom. "Just the leader" came Genaral Pepper's voice back over the com. "My frces can cover you from the little ones." "Alright! You heard the man!" said Fox. Eliminate targets fifty, seventy-two, eighty-three, and one-oh-nine! Pick your targets and go after them!" Just as fox turned to take out his targets, he noticed Krystal's ship flying adjacent to his, but ABOVE him. Something in the belly of her ship opened. "No! Krystal don't-" Shit soon covered Fox's windshield. "Bitch! I told you not to eat those mushrooms! If only you'd listened you- Ah fuck! I'm going down"
To be continued...