It was the end of another ninja day for Speed of Sound Sonic after doing ninja things. Assassinations, trying to fite that bald egg Saitima. The usual. Being a sexe ninja was never easy, especially when your enemy could murder anyone with one fist (WINK WONK). The purple ninja meme returned to his humble abode where he got out of his ninja clothes so he could chill and make hte spaghetti and Netflix and chill. By Netflix and chill, he meant watch some of the Love Live so he could watch his waifu Nozomi Tojo. A day of trying to avoid getting punched in the dong again by that egghead superhero was always tiring. While making his tasty spaghetti, Sonic took a moment to look at the painting of a rare pepe™ which he kept on the wall. That bootyful rare golden pepe he got from the dude who lives in the golden turd. A pepe so rare that one would kill a man to keep it. A beautiful pep indeed. It was time to Netflix and chill. And on went Love Live. He thought about how Nozomi really is the best girl, she was purple like his scarf and dan she had some bobbies ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The best waifu indeed. Sonic hoped nobody was looking as the last thing he wanted was for his arch nemesis Saitama to know that he cried over idol girls and sang along to Snow Halation when nobody was looking.

Oh shit, A few episodes down the line Sonic realized there was no more Love Live left to watch. What would he do, he still had half a bowl of hte spaghetti to eat

Then he saw a recommended watch button which caused the ninja to have an epiphany, Sonic X. That was the show recommended. Sonic, that was his name. Had someone made a show about him, that couldn't happen, he was a speedy ninja, it was probably that fucker Saitama trying to draw his ass out. All the same he clicked it and started. There he was. The love of his life. Sonic the Hedgehog. The beautiful blue hedgehog, he was fast, so fast that the opening said that he 'gotta go fast'. The ninja's eyes went kira kira as he looked at this beautiful creature, he ran so beautifully and was probably almost as fast as himself (he wasn't going to admit he was faster at least). Every time the blue hedgehog ran or smiled Sonic felt his heart go doki doki, and when that pink thing Amy was around he wanted to scream. She was taking his boyfriend goddammit. He paused. He just realized what the fuck he was thinking.

He was getting thirsty over a fucking animated hedgehog.

He couldn't do that, could he? That was fucked up, but yet he really fucking wanted to, he could even start to feel his dick grow hard as he continued to watch the hell. Then an obnoxious voice spoke

'DO IT' it screamed

'JUST DO IT'

'DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS' Sonic looked over to see Genos by his window doing the Shia Labeouf motivational speech, yet it had no impact, that robot was Saitama's boyfriend. Realizing that the motivational words weren't working, the angelic robot shed a single tear before running home to his egghead senpai. Then, the real Shia Labeouf appeared, however it was ACTUAL CANNIBAL SHIA LABEOUF. Unamused, Sonic pulled one of his shurikens from his ass and threw it at his head, killing him instantly. Yet, the combination of Genos and Shia had motivated. He was gonna fucking do it alright

Sonic freed his cock as he continued to watch the screen, watching his beautiful hedgehog husbando run around defeating the eggman (he liked this aspect a lot FOR SOME REASON). He began to let out moans as he rubbed his hand up and down his dick, still focusing, thinking about that beautiful blue spiny creature and his beauty, he imagined him sat with him now, helping him jerk off. That pleased him even more. This hedgehog was his true soulmate, fast as fuck and able to defeat a bald eggman. His life goals. Then, something magical happened, He reached a climax, a moment of bliss and then the love of his life materialized in front of him. The ninja began to cry from joy, his role model was in front of him. He finally took a moment to kiss his role model, as wonderful in real life. Just as he was about to end the kiss, there was a very pissed off looking cyclist with black hair.

'NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING WITH MY BOYFRIEND BAKA!' was it this licenseless rider guy or something, what the hell was he doing here, he should be doing hero stuff. Sonic pulled yet another shuriken from his ass.

'You are in my way' he muttered. Before he could throw the blade, the cyclist spoke again.

'THAT IS MY BOYFRIEND YOU BAKA,' and then the cyclist proceeded to magical girl transform. Moments later he was wearing a wolf onesie. 'IN THE NAME OF WOLVES, I ARAKITA YASUTOMO WILL PUNISH YOU' Oh shit, not magical girl shit, in a super hero anime Sonic couldn't deal with this shit. He was going to die, and he hadn't even defeated Saitama… this was terrible.

It was all a dream. Sonic discovered as he woke up two hours into Netflix and chill. He had fell asleep during Love Live and holy moly it had all gone to shit. None of it was real, all fake. He hadn't really jerked off to a hedgehog, or had he. Sonic checked Netflix, he still actually had more Love Live to watch before he had to go and actually do the ninja things he was paid for. Thank fuck. He put his hair in pigtails and put his hands to his head as he pressed play. Nico Nico Nii motherfuckers