The Loud House: Cyberbully
by Loudshine
Disclaimer: The Loud House and its characters belong to Chris Savino and Nickelodeon
Luan Loud was getting ready for her first night of standup comedy at a new Comedy Night Club that just opened up in Royal Woods, being in her and Luna's room, practicing in front of a mirror.
"So then I said to the teacher, why isn't the fish at school? And then she told me that another student is taking care of it. But I thought to myself, he must be playing hooky!" Luan swung her fist, cracking herself up in front of the mirror.
"Ha, you're so funny sis!" Luna told her, complimenting her joke.
"Thanks, I really crack me up, don't I?" Luan said to the mirror.
"If you're talking about the mirror, that's bad luck, dude." Luna said.
"Right, right. Still, I've never done any funny business at this club before." Luan said, then laughed, her joke referring to Funny Business Inc, her business. "I can't wait!"
"And Lincoln's gonna be helping you isn't he?"
"Well I guess maybe, but usually I'd pick someone from the audience for that."
"You can pick Lincoln!" Luna suggested.
"I could, but I don't wanna show favoritism."
"But he is our favorite brother!" Luna joked, giggling a bit. "Hey, you can use that!"
Luan didn't laugh. "He is our only brother."
"Totally got me there, dude." Luna smiled, rubbing the back of her head.
"Well, better shake a leg!" Luan shook her leg as she spoke, then laughed. "Get it?"
"Yeah, you used that joke back when we were at he Royal Woods Spa, remember?"
"Oh yeah." Luan rubbed the back of her head.
Then later that night, the Loud family drove up to the new comedy night club in Vanzilla, all 10 of Luan's siblings and her parents there to support her. Inside the club, the whole Loud family except for Luan and Lincoln sat down, with Lincoln joining Luan backstage, since he was her assistant.
"Luan's a natural. She's got this." Lynn said.
"Yeah, she is literally going to crack us up." Lori said, smiling.
"But I don't want to crack! I'll break!" Leni rubbed her face, frowning.
"Actually, human beings cannot actually crack up when they laugh in response to anything said humans find hilarious. She was using the term figuratively, which in this case is ironic for her, but then again, that word has practically lost its meaning with us Louds." Lisa explained, referring to the word literally.
Meanwhile, backstage, Luan was getting ready for the show, with Lincoln by her side.
"You ready, Luan?" Lincoln said.
"Sure am!" Luan responded. "I can definitely stand up for tonight's comedy!" Luan laughed. "Get it?"
"Yeah, save it for the show." Lincoln told her.
"Right." Luan adjusted the squirt flower on her shirt.
"There you are." The owner of the comedy club walked up to Luan. "All right, there's a full house out there. Let's see what you got, kid."
"Don't worry, I got this!" Luan told him.
A few moments later, Luan stepped up to the mic, being in front of an audience of people that included her parents and her sisters. Lincoln walked in the audience, sitting down with the rest of his family as they announced Luan, who took the mic as she started speaking.
"Hey, is everything doing great tonight? I would be if I had an audience supporting me and living with me all the time!" Luan joked, giggling as she was referring to how big her family was, everyone else was also giggling with her.
"We have an audience living with us? Where are they?" Leni asked.
"She's talking about us." Lana corrected her.
"Yeah, plus me." Lola said. "Even though we sometimes groan at her jokes. Not that they won't be good enough for all these people." The rest of the Loud family nodded in agreement.
"But hey, if I had to live with, share with, and change diapers for everybody else here tonight, I guess you'd all be living with me too! It would be quite a full house!" Luan laughed, and so did the rest of the audience.
"Ooh, Full House! I used to love that show!" Lynn Sr. said.
"We're already a full house, dad." Lincoln said.
Lynn punched Lincoln on the shoulder. "Yeah, that's the joke, genius!"
"Joke. Genius. Hilarious." Lisa commented.
"But enough about my family, let's talk about me! So the other day I was walking past the house of this teenage girl by the name of Maggie who was also walking to school, and a group of boys looked at us and asked us "Do you girls have chemistry together?", and I didn't know how to respond. But that's only because some people think we have chemistry together!" Luan laughed again, some of the audience went aww, but some didn't approve of Luan's reference to gay relationships.
"Seriously? She and Lincoln do one mime act for her, and now it's like the two of them at literally into each other!" Lori said. "Just like me and Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!"
"Yeah she's more Lucy's type." Leni said.
"I'm not really into girls." Lucy stated.
"I don't see why there would ever need to be a relationship between us, but I'd say that ship is still docked, am I right?" Luan continued.
"Docked? People think that ship even exists?" Lisa remarked. "I mean, figuratively. People think and post random stuff online, a type of contaminant that I could never cleanse without extreme measures."
"But like I said, she likes mimes, which makes sense since we have a silent ship!" Luan laughed. The crowd didn't react. "Whew, tough crowd. Everyone here is silent too?" After she said that, some more laughter could be heard among the audience. She noticed a dirty blonde haired girl in the audience on her phone. She wasn't enjoying the show. "Hey, you look like you belong on the big spleen!" Luan laughed. "Not staring at one!" The girl didn't laugh, she just eyeballed Luan, then looked back at her phone.
"Why would she be on someone's spleen?" Leni asked.
"No, the joke is that spleen rhymes with and sounds enough like screen to be used as a pun for it." Lisa answered her.
"Oh." Leni said, then she laughed at Luan's pun, after having had Lisa explain the joke to her.
"Oh look at me, I'm going coconuts with all these funny facts!" Luan joked, pulling out as she did, as well as an actual coconut in her other hand, the mic being on the stand. "But at least Mr. Coconuts here is more sane than this coconut here!"
"No I'm not!" Luan made say as she made him bonk his head into the coconut. "And I'm the coco nut!" Luan laughed.
…
Later that night, after Luan finished her act, she walked down to greet her family.
"That was a great act you did, Luan!" Lincoln commented.
"Yeah you rock, sis!" Luna added.
Luan giggled. "Rock. I get it! But seriously, thanks guys."
"You weren't nervous were you?" Lucy asked.
"Come on, this isn't my first time! And this wouldn't of been the first time I pailed!" Luan pulled out a pail and laughed. "Get it?"
"That was literally funny!" Lori commented.
"Yeah, even though I didn't get most of it!" Leni added.
"Well I knew you had a good sporting chance!" Lynn joked, supporting her sister.
"Lynn, not all her puns are funny." Lola commented.
"Not that you weren't funny!" Lana added.
"You did get the majority of the audience going. Classic Luan." Lisa said, smiling.
"We're proud of you, sweetie." Rita said.
"Yeah that was so funny when you did the coconut thing!" Lynn Sr. laughed, rubbing a tear from his eye.
"Aww thanks guys. I knew I could count on you to support me." Luan said, smiling as the whole family walked Luan outside. They headed back home.