▬ Nobody said it was easy, Oh; it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm going back to the start. ▬

~~ Boston - 1678 ~~

|The sun was high and the day had started out much as it usually does; but there had been something niggling at the back of my mind, I tried to push it aside and focus on anything else, since our Mother had passed away a few years ago, it was only my Father, my little brother Charles and I. Trying to juggle between the role of teenager, mother as well as daughter wasn't an easy feat. Charles was young and needed someone to be there to make him dinner, get things ready for school and tuck him in at night with a bedtime story. Father worked all day, I didn't want to worry him when he finally came home. I knew he missed Mother as much as we did, if not more. She was his one true love; as the months went on; he started to lose himself in the bottle of whiskey every night after work. Making sure that there was food on his table by the time he arrived home to making sure that Charles was in bed and asleep before his bedtime. It didn't leave much time for me to be a teenager. I didn't mind though; I held no ill feelings towards Mother and I knew that this is what she would have wanted.

"Alexia … Is all okay?."

Shaking my thoughts of my family aside, I felt guilty that Roger had asked to escort me home and all I did was focus on my family, pausing for a brief moment, I turned to face my friend.|

I apologize, Roger. My mind has been somewhere else today. However, thank you for walking me home.

|Flashing a soft smile in Roger's direction but before either of us was able to say something, I heard Charles calling my name.

"Lexi, It's Papa, Come quick"

His little cheeks red and puffy as tears poured down his face, throwing a concerned glance over at Roger, I apologised for making our walk shorter than it usually was, Dropping to my knees so I was face to face with Charles and wiping the tears from his eyes, I tried to console him as the best I could. Pressing my lips to his forehead as I instructed him to do as I said.|

It will be okay, Charles. I'm going to need you to be brave for me, okay? You're going to need to get help from Mr. and Mrs. Winterbourne, I'll stay with Papa .. Just go, quickly..

|Turning around, my feet carrying me as quickly as possible into the house and towards our father; who was passed out on the floor of the lounge. It was unusual for him to be home this early in the day. Instantly, I dropped down on the floor, running the back of my hand over his forehead, he had a fever; I knew from previous experience looking after Charles that father was sick. Pushing myself to my feet, I grabbed a rag from the kitchen and stuck it under cold water within seconds I was back at his side, wiping the cool cloth against his very warm skin. My heart hammering in my chest in fear of losing father. It didn't matter that he wasn't as he was before Mothers death, He was still our flesh and blood and both Charles and I needed him.

It had been hours; Charles had done as I asked and brought Mr. and Mr. Winterbourne to our home alone with the town doctor; I could hear them whispering amongst each one another; but in order to keep from causing a scene and scaring my little brother; I put on the best smile that I could under the circumstances. Made him some dinner and sent him to bed with the usual bedtime story; staying a little longer at his side until I was sure he was asleep before, quietly moving out of the room.|

Please tell me what is wrong with Father, Charles is sleeping .. I can handle this.

|Glancing between the three grown ups; I noticed the way they were looking at one another; like there was this secret that they were too scared to share with me, I had grown to be both Mother and Father figure to Charles; I just needed to know if we were about to be orphans. It took a while before the doctor explained that Father had Smallpox; an outbreak that was killing more than a fair share of the town population. We had already lost people to this horrid disease.|

Is … Is Father dying?

|Holding back the tears as much as I could, I didn't dare look towards anyone but the doctor. If I did, the chances were I'd break down.

"I'm afraid I can't answer that, we will have to wait and see."|

-

|It had been the longest week of my life; between getting Charles to school, fed and bed; it was the only time I left father's side. At first he seemed like he was getting better; I knew better though than to hold out too much hope.

"Lexi!" I barely heard the sound of his voice as he called out my name, glancing up from the chair in the opposite side of his room. The sun had been streaming in and I felt that /maybe/ today would be the day he got better. Setting down my book and uncurling myself from the chair, I moved across to his bed; taking a seat on the edge, before taking his hand into my own.|

I'm here, Father. How are you feeling? What would you like me to get for you?
|Reaching for the water that sat beside him, thinking that was what he wanted, but I paused when he started to try and talk.

"Lexi … I need you to be strong; you need to look after Charles" my brows furrow in concern as my head moved side to side.|

No Father, You're going to get better. The doctor even said that. Charles needs you … /I/ need you.

|I wanted to beg him, to promise that I would do /whatever/ was necessary to keep him with us, we had already lost Mother a few years ago, we couldn't lose him too.

"I'm sorry, Lex. I'm sorry I let you down, I just … I love you … Alexia .. Look after Charles"

With tears streaming down my face; I lay my head on his chest and cried .. Charles would need me to be strong.

It only took a few days to organise his funeral at the local cemetery in town; everyone showed up and paid their respects, it didn't make anything easier though. Sliding Charles tiny hand into my own; I gently tugged him forward, running my hand over the surface of the casket; I fought back the tears; determined that I wouldn't let Charles see me cry.|

I love you, Papa .. I promise nothing will ever happen to Charles.

|Turning to my little brother, I lowered myself to his height.|

It's time to say goodbye to Papa, Charles. I know it's hard, but we have to be strong. He is with Mama now .. and happy.

|Despite it all a rush of piece washed over me with the thought of Mama and Papa being here, watching over us; I edged Charles closer to the coffin to allow him to say his own goodbyes. He would need this as much as I would. I didn't know what would happen next, or how I would look after him .. bring food on the table, but I knew that whatever it took; I vowed I'd never let anything bad ever happen to him as long as I was around.|