Disclaimer: I own nothing ... unfortunately.

Author's Notes: Hi everyone. This is something that has been on my computer for months. The next part is already in progress, so have fun reading and reviewing :)

Jean Grey

I can't really tell who is watching them. If it's Jean Grey or Phoenix. I'm just standing and watching, both parts of me observing. Neither one fighting for domination, neither one crying for release.

It's hard to watch all the killing, knowing that I could destroy each or both sides if I wanted to. I can't make up my mind which side I should help, if I should help them at all. So I just watch them until they stop, until one side has won, though it's hard to tell if there really are winners this time. There are just those who survive.

I take everything in. How Storm battles Callisto, and Logan and Hank beat up Magento's mutants by the dozen. Later Bobby duels with Pyro, a fight that everyone saw coming long ago. But more than see all this, I feel it. I can feel them moving around me even when I close my eyes. I can hear their thoughts, I know what they will do, how they'll move, and if they're opponents will be able to avoid being hit or killed. I feel all this, and it overwhelms me. When Logan and Hank attack Magneto I know what will happen, but I don't intervene, even though I should be on his side, or shouldn't I? I let him be changed back and still know in the back of my mind what will happen. I have become a strange observer in a war, when everybody expected me to participate.

When I hear Logan's voice talking to me I find my focus again. The world shrinks back from an enormous area of awareness to a few feet and I concentrate on him. His voice, his body, his very thoughts tell me that he's hoping I'll come back to them, but I'm not sure if I can. Not sure if I want to. He continues talking and I never want him to stop again, because as long as he talks I'm save. I don't know what will happen, but I know that he'll be there.

His shouting wakes me and again I feel before I see, and what I feel makes the anger boil up inside me. They have come to change me back to 'normal', to kill me, if nessesary. Me, who didn't participate in this senseless killing, who didn't chose a side, a passive bystander.

Rage.

And suddenly everything is a blur. Anger surges through me. Power begging for release and I don't stop it. Don't want to stop it. Voices inside me try to calm me. Familiar voices, but I don't listen. Can't. People are screaming, being disintegrated, disappearing into nothingness, stading no chance against my power. They don't deserve better. To stand in my way is to oppose me. No one opposes me. More anger. I feel the buildings collapsing and breaking under my strength like children's toys. But my power is still stronger, still begging for realease. The water begins to lift, defying gravity, defying nature. Creating my own little place, my own little zone of absolute power. Everything is gone, all buildings destroyed. Debries is laying around, forming a strange kind of throne in the middle of the island. Everyone has either run away, or disintegrated. Is this what I want?

I'm alone.

Again.

No, not alone. One remains. Someone who hasn't run away. Someone who hasn't disappeared.

Even though I try to hurt, to kill him, he's not afraid, not trying to run away, like all the others. He stands his ground, makind his way, slowy but steady towards me. And each wave I sent towards him hurts him more, but he doesn't care, just heals himself and continues on his way. Each wave I think, yes, hope, that I will kill him, but he is strong. And it just angers me more. This is the men I desired, but now he opposes me. And then he's reached me, standing just inches before me. I'm tempted to just flick him away, but there is something I need to say, need to know.

'You'd die for her.' The truth hurts me, and anger rages inside me. I prepare to destroy him with a wink of my hand, but his words stop me. 'No. Not for her. I'd die for you.' His words and the look on his face tell me without doubt that he's speaking the truth. He lets me see right into his heart and what I see shatters my whole existence.

He loves me.

Me.

The moment freezes, just for me, for there is so much truth in his words that I want to cry.

I don't have to choose. I don't have to be either Jean Grey or Phoenix. I can be both. Or neither.

I can just be me.

And in a moment of perfect understanding I know: There is just me.

And this knowledge sets me free.

I know what to do.

The world starts spinning again, the moment almost gone before it even started.

He knows just by looking at my face. Knows what I want from him, knows what I ask of him. I know that he knew all along that this is what it might all come down to. I know he has been asking himself if he can do it, ever since my change and even more so since Storm questioned him not so long ago. And now he knows.

'Help me.' And that is all he needs to hear. 'I love you!' As his claws extend I understand, that even though he's killing me, this is the truest proof for his love. And I can hardly feel the pain of my dying body, for all his love for me I feel around me. I want to tell him, with my last breath that I love him too, but I don't want to make this any harder on him. So instead I smile, to let him know that this is what I wanted, that he couldn't have done better. That I'm proud of his strength.

As I feel my body dying I hear the familiar voices in my head again. 'Don't let it consume you.' And my promise to Scott: 'I will always be with you.'

And there, in Logan's arms, with his tears dripping on my face, I know that there truly are no winners. Only those who survive. And as my power disappears, the sky is crying.

End of Part 01