Merry Christmas To You, Too

by Veratrum

Roxas refuses to admit that he's in love with a certain redhead, but all that may have to change when Axel corners him, demanding to know what's wrong after something happens that changes their relationship. Will Roxas finally admit his feelings? Or will he keep making himself miserable just to keep their friendship? Axel/Roxas, established Sora/Riku

Happy late Akuroku day!

The beginning (up to the part where Riku/Sora come in the first time) was a different story of mine deep in the bowels of my computer, unfinished and unpolished. I decided to recycle it, then expand it into an Akuroku fic. Hope you enjoy!

Review/Fave if you do like it, please

Disclaimer: I don't own KH or make money from my writing.

Rating: More than likely, M. This story talks of sex toys and has lots of foul-mouthedness. And then there's some sexual situations in the end (WINK WONK FRICKY FRICKY)

Summary: Roxas refuses to admit that he's in love with a certain redhead, but all that may have to change when Axel corners him, demanding to know what's wrong after something happens that changes everything. Will Roxas finally admit his feelings? Or will he keep making himself miserable just to keep their friendship?

---

"A-Axel, I swear to god if you don't l-let me in I'm going to castrate y-you!" I yelled through the wooden door, teeth chattering. I slammed my fist into it and cursed, turning and sliding down the door. "Fucking A-Axel. It's 1 o'clock in the fucking afternoon, you should be awake!" I yelled that last part at the door. It was also freezing outside. I glanced over at the small bag that had Riku and Sora's presents in it; I had given Axel the task of buying their gifts ages ago, but apparently he had forgotten, so I rushed out in a hurry at ten in the morning, hoping to find some stores open on Christmas Eve before the two came back. They had left at around 7am to go get some stuff, and were due back in a while.

I had finally found a nice glassmakers' shop tucked away in a side alley that specialized in sex toys. The man at the counter (who told me his name was Marluxia, and had bubblegum pink hair) asked me what I was looking for, and with much stammering and blushing I told him I needed two sex toys for two of my friends, as a last minute gift. I didn't think I'd be leaving the house this morning to buy sex toys but beggars can't be choosers.

He had laughed a little bit, then took me into the back room where I saw a collection of beautiful sex toys lined up on the shelves. They were all so pretty, and I winced, remembering that the two I picked out would probably be shoved into my best friends' asses by the end of the night.

I finally found two that I felt Sora and Riku would like, and then hightailed it out of there after paying a ludicrous amount for them. Handmade glass sex toys were expensive as hell.

I shivered violently. Was Axel still asleep? Or did he go somewhere? I couldn't tell if his car was in the garage, since the door was closed and locked and the garage windows covered. I groaned after remembering I had locked all the doors and windows last night, so I couldn't sneak in anywhere.

When I rushed out this morning, I had intended to leave the door unlocked so I could get back in, since I didn't have my key, but Axel must have woken up and locked it after seeing it was unlocked, because I had chewed him out quite a few times for leaving it unlocked.

Groaning, I knocked my head into the door with a loud thumping noise. The one time he actually listened to me, was the one time I wished he didn't. Either way, I was stuck out here for god knows how long, probably going to die of hypothermia. I wish I had my car, so I could sit in it and turn on the heat until someone opened the door, waste of gas my behind, but it was at the shop (as was my keychain) for a few repairs.

Despite the cold, I shut my eyes; I was dead tired. I hadn't been sleeping well lately, although I hid it as best I could. The last thing I wanted was awkward questions from my best friend.

But I wanted to be more than that.

All of a sudden I fell backwards as the door I was leaning on flew open. Opening my eyes, I looked up to see Axel himself standing there looking down at me.

"You f-fucking douche. It's fucking f-f-freezing out here and I was l-locked out" I said, teeth chattering as I got up and stretched my aching muscles. All that shivering took its toll on me.

"Roxas, I didn't even know you left! I heard a thump on the door and came to see what was up." He laughed. "Well, sorry. Why did you go out right now anyway?"

I picked up the little baggie and waved it in his face. "Christmas presents for R-Riku and Sora, which you forgot. Now let m-me in before I die of hypothermia." He stepped aside so I could step into the warm house gratefully. I shivered violently again as I kicked off my shoes but left the socks on. God knows my feet were too cold for that.

"Roxas how long were you gone?" He asked as he shut the door.

"L-like three hours." I sat on the couch and grabbed the blanket hanging off the back, wrapping it around myself and shutting my eyes. I leaned against the couch; it felt so soft and warm, what with the fire burning in the fireplace.

"Fuck, Roxas. You could have woken me up and I would have gone with you. You didn't have to freeze your butt off." I felt him sit on the couch next to me. "It's what, 29 degrees outside? And you didn't even have a jacket? Or a car? That's insane!" My eyes flew open as he set his arm on my shoulder at the exact moment I shuddered again. Without thinking I pressed in closer, because Axel was so warm. He was always warm. I almost laughed bitterly, because I was right where I had always wanted to be, held by Axel, but it took me being half frozen to get to that point.

"Jesus Roxy. Next time ask me, alright? Just because your car is in the shop doesn't mean you have to walk everywhere. I would let you borrow mine." I nodded into his armpit and yawned after another fierce shake, letting the use of the nickname I hated with a passion slide.

"I'm so tired, Axel…" my eyes drifted shut again, and I snuggled deeper into his side.

"Well, go to sleep then. I'll wake you up in about two hours. Riku and Sora will be here around then and they're making the food." I could feel him shake as he laughed. Neither of us can cook for shit. I made a small noise of affirmation as I drifted off.

---

I drifted along in a world of smoky colors. Somehow I knew I was asleep, but I could feel that arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders. Is this what lucid dreaming was? I walked throughout my dream world feeling safe; I doubted there was any danger.

This dream world, boring as it looked, was a damn sight nicer than the dreams I usually had. They were painful, but not how you would think.

It was always Axel and I, together. Doing couple-like things; hugging, kisssing...but those dreams would never become a reality, so all they did was hurt. I shuddered and felt the arm tighten around me.

No, it was better to stay awake and suffer through reality than sleep and suffer through what I could never have.

I stepped through a particularly dense cloud of red smoke and grew warm. Very very warm. I shook my head side to side, my thoughts growing slightly foggy. Why the hell was it so warm? Imaginary sweat dotted my brow and I went to wipe it off, only to find that my arms weren't working properly.

Slightly panicky, I looked around to see if there was something my subconscious had dreamed up to kill me. Or worse, have Axel appear and kill him. I wouldn't be surprised.

There was nothing. Just the smoke, which was growing denser and denser until I couldn't see more than five feet around me. I choked, feeling smothered. I attempted to move my arms anywhere except where they were, but they felt as if they were pinned to me, like a butterfly's wings to a collector's display case.

My hazy brain started to panic more, but I felt like I had been drugged. I couldn't move my feet, or any part of me except my eyes. It was like full body paralyzation. The red fog swirled around me, feeling menacing instead of harmless now. I whimpered and struggled to move. I knew I had to get away from that fog.

It was so hot. My shirt felt drenched with sweat. "I want to wake up," I whimpered softly. "Please, wake up." I continued to struggle, when without warning I fell directly on my ass. The red mist surrounded me, and I could hear an echo, growing louder with every passing second. It was calling my name; it sounded urgent.

"Roxas, wake up!" I felt someone slapping my face. I mumbled something incoherent, trying to tell the voice to stop.

"Wake up," The voice insisted. The red mist dissipated, and so did all the other colors, until I only saw black. The voice called directly into my ear, sharp as glass and clear as a bell. I gasped and my eyes snapped open.

I scrambled around, panicked, until I realized I was trapped in a blanket. I started thrashing around, trying to free myself from the suffocating fabric. "Roxas! Calm down!" Axel ordered. I listened to him, stopping and trying to calm down, my heart beating as frantically as a hummingbird's wings. My eyes darted to his face, and I watched as he peeled the blanket from my sweat-soaked body. That would explain why I couldn't move, if he had wrapped me up.

He stripped the blanket away and hugged me to his chest, taking a shaky breath. "What happened?" I asked unsteadily. It must have been the blanket that made me feel so hot. Then I saw we were on the ground, near the fireplace which still had a roaring fire going.

"Um..." He flushed red. "Well, first you were talking in your sleep."

I cringed and hesitated. "What- what did I say?"

"You said my name a lot," He coughed, and I turned even redder. As if to save me from embarrassment, he quickly said "Then you were really cold. Like, freezing. It scared the shit out of me, so I moved you down here to the fire and tried to get you warm. You're still ice cold, Roxy."

How was that possible? I reached a shaking hand to my forehead and felt sweat dotting it. It really was cold. "But...I feel like I'm burning up." He still hadn't withdrawn his arms from around me.

"Roxas, what happened?" The tone of his voice made me cringe again. I shoved his arms off me and scooted away, my back hitting the edge of our big chair.

"Nothing."

He glared, and I didn't say anything. I knew he hated it when I said "nothing" in reply to a question, but the idea of saying I had a nightmare made me want a sinkhole to open up below me. He must have seen the look on my face because his features softened. "It was a nightmare, wasn't it?"

Damn it! I opened my mouth to tell him that no, it wasn't, hoping that he didn't catch the lie, when the door burst open.

"Merry Christmas Eve!" Riku and Sora yelled as they traipsed in, dragging in bags of food and a cold wind that gave me the shivers.

Riku was the first one to notice something was wrong, while Sora remained blissfully unaware. "What the hell is going on?" he asked. "Roxas? Axel?"

Axel stopped trying to re-wrap his arms around me and stood up, brushing himself off. "Nothing, Riku. Roxas just fell off the couch and I was helping him up," he lied smoothly.

I felt kinda bad that he had to lie to his best friend for my sake, but I didn't really want Sora to worry, which he would have, because Riku tells him everything. I was jealous of their relationship.

Sora and I are brothers, and when we moved out we bought a house together. It was a three bedroom, two bath little thing, and Sora and I had a lot of fun buying furniture and painting the walls. We used the third bedroom as a guest bedroom, where our friends could crash if they came over and wanted to stay for the night.

Then Sora met Riku when he was out god knows where and they became an item. Riku was Axel's best friend, and they had been renting a flat with each other. Riku, who came over here more often than he was at home, brought Axel along most of the time so he could meet Sora and get to know him better.

I had usually stayed in my room when Axel came over, because the redhead gave me butterflies whenever he was around. It wasn't until I heard Axel ask about the "moody little blonde" and why I never came out and Sora answering that he had no idea, and that I was usually a real social butterfly, that I had thrown open my door and stalked out of my room to sit in the living room with everyone else, butterflies be damned.

I was introduced to Riku and Axel, although I had met Riku already, before he started bringing Axel around, and Axel had shaken my hand and grinned at me. It was one of those grins that screams "troublemaker".

I love troublemakers.

Eventually Riku wanted to move in with us after about 6 months of seeing Sora, but Axel couldn't pay the rent in their flat on his own, so Riku asked Sora if Axel could move in too. Sora had been ecstatic and talked to me about it to ask my permission (it was half my house, after all). I had panicked at first, pretty sure I wouldn't be able to hide my crush on Axel if we were living in the same goddamn house, but I sucked it up and told Sora I was okay with it. I wouldn't let my idiocy ruin his happiness.

They packed up and moved in at the end of the month after cancelling their lease, Riku staying in Sora's bedroom, Axel claiming the guest bedroom as his own. Since we owned the house, we didn't have to pay rent, but we did have the gas, water, electricity, etc. to pay. Riku and Axel tried to go half on the other bills, since they were living there too, but Sora and I just laughed at them.

Our parents were loaded, and they sent us enough money each month to pay for necessities and some extra allowance for our personal use, so we weren't spoiled rotten. We just lived pretty comfortably.

Sora and I both agreed we didn't need all the expensive luxuries that most "rich people" wasted their money on, like Lamborghinis and mansions. We asked our parents for enough to buy our own house, and each get a car, which they happily handed over, crying about "their babies growing up", and we had been happily living together.

So of course we weren't going to make Riku and Axel pay bills, when we had enough to do it ourselves. I was secretly glad that Sora hadn't told Riku that our parents, and by extension we, were rich, because then I'd have just thought he was in it for the money, instead of my brother. Neither Riku or Axel asked for anything (other than junk food), seeming as happy as Sora and I were, so living together was a great plan all around.

Except for the fact that the redhead could read me like a book.

After Riku was done asking me if I was hurt, everyone migrated to the kitchen so the cooking could begin. Well, Sora and Riku were cooking, Axel and I just stood around tasting things. When he almost knocked over the strainer full of cranberries, Riku shooed us both out of the kitchen telling us to go do something productive.

Axel and I were completely alone once the swinging door had shut, and I got really nervous. Was he going to confront me about what happened earlier? Was he going to ignore it entirely? I didn't know which one I preferred, since confronting me about it would show he cared about me, even if it was just a little. If he ignored it I wouldn't have to make up a story, but it would hurt that he doesn't care. So instead of leaving this in the hands of fate, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I ran the fuck away.

Mumbling something about needing to clean, I practically ran to my room and slammed the door behind me, stumbling onto my bed face-first. "Fuck my life," I mumbled into the fluffy pillow. Maybe if I pressed into it hard enough I would suffocate, which would give me a hall pass out of the impending doom that was in the near future. Sure, I'd be dead, but I wouldn't have to tell Axel I had a huge crush on him and get rejected.

Rejection hurts, no matter how gently you try to do it, and I knew Axel would be as gentle as he could.

So, really, I would be doing everyone a favor by being a drama queen and suffocating myself before we got to that point, since Axel would feel bad that he has to reject me, Riku would feel awkward since we we're all friends and he wouldn't know how to handle it without hurting someone's feelings, Sora would try to comfort me, and living with all three of them together would be a nightmare.

'but what if he doesn't reject you?' an itty bitty tiny voice in the back of my head said.

I rolled over and pressed the pillow into my face tightly. No. We weren't going there. Ever. Roxas Strife does not tell people he likes them. Roxas Strife is a pussy. Roxas Strife has never made the first move in his life.

"Roxas Strife needs to stop thinking in third person," I said aloud, but then cringed. Hopefully no one heard that, even though it was muffled into the pillow still pressed into my face. I'd rather keep my mini-meltdowns confined to my room; the last thing I needed was an intervention.

I could picture it now: Axel, Sora, and Riku sitting in the living room, looking like someone died, and I would walk in just like on those dumb TV shows, and they would all tell me they were worried about me and that they loved me and they wanted me to stop going batshit in my room by myself.

I cackled into my pillow and threw it to the side. That was enough brooding for today. I really, really tried to avoid lying to people if I could help it, so I looked around for something to clean.

My room only had some clothing strewn about, which killed all of two minutes to throw in my hamper. Sighing, I padded out of my room to the hall closet and got out the vacuum. May as well. My room didn't need vacuuming, but I'm sure my three housemates weren't as anal about cleanliness as I was. I decided to do Axel's room first. (Okay, I really loved his room and just wanted to be in there. So sue me.)

I gently knocked, hoping he wasn't in there; none of my housemates cared if I went in their rooms to clean, and had told me so, since it meant they didn't have to do it themselves. It isn't like anyone was hiding anything. So I could clean Axel's room in peace without the distraction of Axel himself being in there.

But why on earth would lady luck shine down on me, ever? He called for me to come in, so I opened the door and dragged the vacuum inside. "Mind if I clean in here?" I asked, fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

"Nah, knock yourself out Roxy," he winked, adding "Preferably onto my bed."

I groaned. "Save the lame pick up lines for someone gullible, Axel." But I couldn't help laughing. I loved it when he was in one of his playful moods. Not to mention he wasn't wearing a shirt, which was always nice to look at.

"Well…that's kinda why I asked you," he smirked. I brandished the vacuum hose like a weapon.

"Don't make me give you an enema with the vacuum," I threatened. He just rolled his eyes. Yeah, I was about as fearsome as a kitten, probably.

And anyway, Axel had proven on more than one occasion that he could beat me in a wrestling match no problem.

It isn't my fault he has like, a foot on me, and about a thousand pounds. He looks like he doesn't weigh much, but he's all muscle, whereas I'm mostly a bag of fat whose only saving grace is that my metabolism is extremely high, or else I'd weigh a ton.

Sometimes Axel and I got into wrestling matches, usually over the remote or a bag of chips, and it took about 3 seconds for him to pin me down. Since I was short, he could just stretch for whatever I was trying to keep out of his reach, no matter how much I squirmed and wriggled.

A tiny part of me really enjoyed when this happened, because I loved the feeling of him on top of me. He was so warm and his body was perfect. It never lasted very long but it felt amazing. I just wanted to grab him and never let him go.

Speaking of his amazing body, he had turned onto his stomach and stuck his head under the pillow, knowing I was going to be vacuuming. Our vacuum wasn't that noisy, but I wasn't complaining. I could see every line and contour of his body, and it was really distracting.

I shook myself out of it and picked up the clothes thrown around on the floor, piling them onto his computer chair. I really did love his room. It was cozy.

His bed was in the corner with a bedside table next to it, which had an alarm clock and a lamp that gave off a red glow on it. His desk and computer chair were over on the other side of the room, and his closet was on the same side as his bed, a little ways away from the foot of it. The rest of his room had random paraphernalia scattered about. It was small, but comfortable, and not overly cramped. Most everything he owned was red, even the drapes, which made it look like some kind of love shack.

Not that I had ever imagined it as a love shack.

It also smelled like him; a hard scent to describe, but the closest thing would be that smell right after you blow out a match, mixed with a campfire. Smoky and woodsy. It made sense, since the redhead was a pyromaniac, and played with fire frequently. I had walked in on more than one occasion just to see him lighting the tips of his fingers on fire, using some sort of accelerant.

The first time it happened, I had freaked out, grabbing his hands and trying to put the fire out. He laughed at me while I held his hands, making sure he wasn't burned, and explained that he loved to play with fire, and that he made sure it never got out of hand. After I finished inspecting his hands, I blushed and dropped them, since he might have thought I was really weird for holding his hands. They were slightly calloused, but the pads of his fingers were really soft, albeit a little red.

I shook my head and carried on cleaning, hoping he didn't notice that I had spaced out looking at his back. That would be...really awkward to explain away.

I was getting careless lately, and if I wasn't careful he was going to catch me, and confront me, and then everything would blow up in my face like a bomb.

Except an actual bomb would kill me mercifully.

I flipped on the vacuum and ran it across his floor, trying to get it done fast so I could get out of there. I loved being in his room, and near him, but he was making me really nervous, even though he wasn't even looking at me. His head was still under the pi-

Wait, no, no it wasn't. Shit.

I had looked over at him and he was staring right at me, watching me vacuum with a small smile on his face.

I choked on my spit and dropped the vacuum, fleeing. Appearances be damned. I may have said something about being done and a goodbye, but I mainly just ran into my room to blush in private. I was lying on my bed wishing for death when I started nodding off. Well, a nap couldn't hurt, really.

I was violently woken up a few hours later by Sora barging into my room and jumping on my bed. How the fuck did he always get in my room, even with the door locked? Was he some sort of master locksmith?

I groaned and groggily told him to go fuck himself, because a couple of hours of sleep was definitely not enough to make up for how much I hadn't slept in the past few days.

I perked up once he said that food was ready. I had been looking forward to the Christmas Eve feast for weeks, fuck sleep. I pulled back the blanket and stood up, stretching; I had a new plan. I was gonna pig out and eat so much food I would go into a coma, and then I wouldn't have to deal with any of this. It was as good a plan as any. And I got food out of the bargain.

I followed him down the hall and into the dining room, my stomach snarling at me as the smells wafted out. Jesus Christ Sora and Riku could cook. I bet if I was just cooking for myself I'd have burned everything. I even burn water somehow. But everything smelled and, as I stepped into the dining room, looked amazing.

The medium-sized square table was practically groaning under the weight of two large turkeys, two hams, a large bowl of cranberry sauce, tortilla wraps (delicious little tortillas stuffed with cream cheese, sour cream, chives, and green peppers), gravy, rolls, assorted fruits with dipping sauce…and for dessert we had gelatin, banana pudding, banana bread, pumpkin, apple, and pecan pies, caramel apples, and homemade candy.

My stomach snarled again, but this time it was because Sora had taken the seat next to Riku. Which left me sitting next to Axel.

I will not be able to eat a single damn thing on this table because these damn butterflies will be fluttering around my damn stomach the entire damn time. Why couldn't I have had a semi-normal dream earlier? Why did I have to go and make everything awkward? I was handling the situation perfectly well until I fucked it all up.

I sighed and sat down, making a show of scooting closer to the table while secretly shifting away from Axel. I didn't want to offend him. I just...didn't want to be near him.

Which is kind of offensive if you think about it.

So I just swallowed those stupid butterflies and pulled every available dish towards me to eat as much food as I could. I really was starving.

It was kind of sad that my every move revolved around Axel and trying to avoid him knowing I like him, at the same time maintaining our friendship. I was pretty much dancing on a razorblade, and I knew I would eventually slip and chop my balls off.

I shrugged inwardly and ate, trying to avoid conversation with the excuse that my mouth was full. My plan seemed to work pretty well, since none of them directed any conversation my way. The only thing that was bothering me was Axel glancing at me every so often.

We all finished eating around the same time, Sora shooing us into the living room and telling us to sort all the presents into piles while he cleaned up the kitchen. Riku sat next to the tree and handed Axel and I the presents, and we sorted them into four piles, one for each of us.

Axel's pile was tucked between his legs, and I blushed a little when I set one down. I just handed his own presents to him, instead of setting them in his pile, because if I accidentally touched his crotch I don't know what I'd do.

Sora came in just as Axel handed me my last present, smiling. I shyly smiled back, and saw that the present was from him. That was probably why he was smiling.

Riku stood up and stretched, walking over to Sora and giving him a big kiss on the mouth. Slowly counting to five in my head, I cleared my throat. "Can we open presents now, and save the gross kissing for later?" I asked, and Sora just giggled.

"Roxas, once you get a girlfriend you'll know why I prefer kissing Sora over Christmas presents," Riku laughed, and I wrinkled my nose. I didn't have a definite sexuality, but I guess the closest thing would be pansexual. Not that that mattered, really; all I wanted was Axel. Sora, meanwhile, was gayer than Christmas. (No pun intended.)

"Who says I want a girlfriend?" I asked hotly, crossing my arms. Both Riku and Sora laughed and sat down on the couch, Axel and I on the floor.

To be honest I'm surprised Axel hasn't said much since this afternoon, he's usually very talkative. I didn't have time to dwell on it, though; Riku handed Sora a present, and the unwrapping began.

I opened Axel's first, curious to see what he got me; the bright red wrapping paper was almost too pretty to just tear it off, so I carefully undid the tape and peeled it away from the box. It had nothing to do with me wanting to save every part of a present Axel gave me, no way.

I lifted out the pretty box and looked at it in wonder. How did he know I had always wanted a Tesla Ball? They were so freaking cool.

"Thank you so much, Axel!" I gushed, hugging the box to my chest tightly. No doubt I'd be playing with it a lot later.

"You're welcome, Roxy," he said softly, a smile playing around his lips. I gently set the box down to my side and tore into my other presents, but I was pretty sure Axel's was the most special. Sora had gotten me a pair of silk nightclothes (I didn't have the heart to tell him he was too gay for his own good), some expensive cologne, a new series of books I had been wanting, and a tube of my favorite hair gel.

Meanwhile Riku had taken a few shots in the dark, no doubt guided by Sora; his gifts were thoughtful but totally useless. A snow cone maker? It was below 30 outside, why would I need a snow cone maker? I could just go pick up some snow from outside, drench it in flavored syrup, and eat that.

Alongside the snow cone maker he had gotten me some girly-smelling soap from some place called Lush (although it did smell amazing. The package said it smelled like "fairy godmother", whatever that was supposed to smell like), an art pad (I didn't even draw, I just liked to rip up paper), and a book bag (slightly useful, except my college classes didn't require me to lug around books, since I did it online).

My face burned as both Riku and Sora unwrapped their presents from me; I refused to look at them. They teased me for a minute or so, and Axel was roaring with laughter.

"I had no idea, Roxy. You came home half frozen because you bought sex toys for Sora and Riku? How did you even buy them without bursting into flames?" Axel teased.

"You guys can fuck off," I laughed, and we carried on with gifts. Axel hadn't opened the two presents I bought him, and I was slightly anxious. Why hadn't he opened them? Did he not want them? I spent ages looking for the perfect gifts for him.

When I asked him what he wanted for Christmas he had vehemently refused to tell me, insisting that he didn't like getting a lot of gifts. I understood, because I was the same way; which is probably why he had only gotten me one present. He knew the little things about me that I didn't really tell. Sora was probably the only person who knew me better, and that was because we're brothers.

That's why I valued Axel's friendship so much; he knew me well, and I didn't want to screw everything up between us by telling him I had a crush on him.

Everyone else had finished unwrapping presents but Axel, and I awkwardly folded the shiny red wrapping paper from his gift into a neat square. Was he mad that I got him presents anyway, and he told me not to? Or did he just forget about them?

I flattened the folded square against the top of my Tesla Ball box just as Axel called my name.

"Roxy?"

I jumped slightly, then blushed and laughed nervously. "Yeah, Axel?"

"I can't wait to see what you got me. I was saving the best for last."

I smiled; I couldn't help it. It was like he knew that I was worrying about it, and said that just to quell my anxiety.

He reached into his lap and grabbed the two gifts I had wrapped in emerald-green wrapping paper. Lifting the smaller one, he carefully slipped his calloused finger under the edge, sliding it and lifting up the tape on both sides, then lifted out the small, velvet-covered box.

"Oh, this looks fancy, Roxas. I shudder to think of how much you paid for it," he joked, and I could practically hear Sora's fit of silent giggles; Axel may have been joking, but I really did spend a lot of money on his gifts, and Sora was there when I bought them both. My reasoning was if I couldn't buy him a dozen gifts, I'd buy him two expensive ones to make up for it.

So I just rolled my eyes. "Just open it you goof."

He smiled, showing his pointed canines, and lifted up the velvet cover.

"Oh wow," he said, lifting the silver etched butane lighter carefully out of the snug silk casing. "Really, Roxy? You definitely didn't have to buy this for me; it looks expensive."

It was expensive. About two hundred dollars, minus tax. I would never tell him though.

"It's really nothing," I said, shrugging. "I thought you would like it. Just so you know, you can use it like a regular lighter or just decoration. It's sturdy, and refillable." I smiled a little when he gently stroked the etchings, a look of wonder on his face.

"Wow. Thank you so much," he said, and leaned over to give me a hug. I stiffened but relaxed after a second, hugging him back. He was so warm, and smelled so good. I had to fight the urge to inhale, knowing that that would be creepy as hell if I did.

He pulled back after a second and picked up his second present. "I can't wait to see what this is," he said, putting his ear to the side and gently shaking it. It didn't make any noise.

"Get on with it!" Riku nearly yelled, and I jumped. I had all but forgotten that Sora and Riku were in the room, canoodling on the couch. Ylech. Axel just laughed and began opening it the same way he had opened the other, carefully pulling up the tape around the flat, medium-sized box.

"Clothes? Did you do a body-swap with my mother or something? Is it underpants?" He was laughing again, and I crossed my arms.

"Just open it and you'll find out," I grumped. I bought him a very expensive leather jacket, with at least 10 pockets and secret hidey-holes for god knows what. Axel liked to carry around an assload of stuff, so I knew he'd like it. And I was right.

"Damn, I spoke too soon," he said, holding it out at arms length. "Is this real leather?"

He put it on over his T-shirt. "Wow, a perfect fit too. I love you, it's perfect." He flashed me an eye-blinding smile, making my heart melt and shatter at the same time.

How many times have I wanted him to tell me that? How many times had I dreamed of him telling me he loves me? How many nightmares had he said those exact same words? Too many to count...and the day it happens, it's meaningless.

I felt like crying; I have never cried over Axel, ever. Sometimes I wanted to, but my pride wouldn't let me. Hearing him say that…I blinked back the tears and gave Axel a big smile. At least he was happy with my gift, right?

Suddenly Christmas wasn't such a cheery holiday.

The rest of the festivities passed fairly quickly; Riku unwrapped his last few presents, and then we were done. Everyone stood up and stretched, throwing the paper away into two large black trash bags (except my little squares of red; I opened my tesla ball box and tucked them safely inside).

"Welp," Riku said, grabbing both his and Sora's presents from me. "Sora and I will be in our room for a while. Don't come knocking if you don't want an eyeful. Bye!" he called cheerily after him as he dragged Sora down the hall, who was giving me his best "I'm-about-to-get-some" look. I regretted my presents immediately, definitely not wanting to imagine that. Axel followed them with his presents, laughing as he branched off into his room and leaving me alone in the living room.

I gently set my presents down next to the couch and plopped down onto it; I would take them to my room later, but for now I just wanted to relax after this stressful day. Except Axel would probably come out eventually, and then it wouldn't be so relaxing.

I was so into weighing the pros and cons of going to my room that I didn't notice someone had come in until I felt the couch shift.

'Please be Sora please be Sora please be Sora,' I chanted in my head. 'or Riku, Riku works too, just please not Axel,' I begged to whatever gods existed, even though I knew Sora and Riku were both in the other room…busy. I could even hear them, if I strained my ears.

I glanced over after a few seconds and nearly bolted. Of course it was Axel, why the fuck wouldn't it be? Today was just not my day. He had plopped down less than a foot away from me, apparently only going to his room to drop off his presents.

"Roxy?"

I winced at the nickname, but didn't answer him. I knew if I opened my mouth I'd either vomit or tell him everything.

And then I'd vomit afterwards.

Vomiting was bad, so not opening my mouth was really the best option wasn't it? I mean, I was doing him a favor, since he was wearing that really sexy button-up that made him look amazing. He wouldn't want me to ruin that, right?

I glanced over at him to see that he was frowning at me. Which made me frown. I didn't want him unhappy with me, but what the fuck could I do? Telling him I was practically in love with him was out of the question, and I couldn't help but feel weird around him after what happened earlier. Hell, with everything that's happened today he probably already knew, but I wouldn't open myself up to that kind of torture.

"Y-yeah?" I whispered, looking back at the TV just in case he caught me looking at him. Nope. Not gonna puke. Don't puke your guts out, that isn't attractive at all, Roxas. And neither is talking in third person. Didn't we have this discussion earlier?

He leaned back, draping his arms over the back of the couch and brought his leg up to rest on his knee. "You've been acting really…weird today. What's wrong?" He lowered his voice to a gentler tone. "Was it something I said earlier? About the nightmare? Or was it something else?"

I stiffened. Of course he hit the nail on the head, again. That was twice today. It wasn't fair; why was he able to read me like a damn book? I shook my head side to side as fast as I could without breaking my neck; I so did not want to have this conversation.

I stood up to leave the room, because I'm a huge coward, but Axel grabbed my arm as I practically ran past him, jerking me to a very abrupt stop.

"We need to talk, Roxas. Actually talk, instead of dancing around it, because it's making you a nervous wreck, and unhappy."

I yanked on my arm, but he was strong and had a good grip on it. "No, no we don't, and no I'm not," I mumbled, sitting on the ground and putting all my weight against him. I was going to get him to let go, damn it, so I could run into my room and ignore the butterflies that were fluttering in my stomach just thinking about how he was grabbing me and touching me.

The good news is, that did the trick and it broke his grip on my wrist.

The bad news is, it pulled him off the couch right on top of me.

I began panicking and trying to move away from him, but he had faster reflexes and had grabbed my wrists as he went down. So not only did I put myself in an even worse situation, I didn't have the use of my hands to help me. Could Lady Luck give me a fucking break today? What did I do to get on her shit list? Did I have to sacrifice a virgin to get back on her good side?

'well,' my brain said. 'you could always kill yourself.'

Hardee fucking har. Let's make virgin jokes while I was on the threshold of the worst day of my life. Nice going, brain, you're a fucking douche.

And I was talking to my own brain now, which was pretty fucking weird. I needed to get out more. Or douse myself with bleach. Whichever worked better, since social outings would kill me as thoroughly as the bleach would.

My brain shut up and I looked up at Axel staring right at me, not even saying anything. He was sitting on my hips and had my arms pinned above my head by the wrists with one of his own hands, his other hand holding himself up, and those bright green eyes were just staring me down. I made a small noise in the back of my throat that sounded kind of like a whine.

"Axel, let me go," I whimpered. I didn't like how close he was to my face, and I really didn't like this position, because it felt really really sexual. His butt was pressed into my crotch, hard.

Well, okay, I did like that, but it was the same thing because popping a boner right now would be the tipping point to make this day actually turn into the worst day of my life. I'd probably burst into flames, and Axel would never speak to me again. I'd be forever known as that one guy that popped a boner on his friend's ass.

Thankfully, I was so terrified of what was going on that I don't think I could have popped a boner if I tried.

"We are going to talk, Roxy, if I have to hold you down and force you to. Which it seems I have to do, since you're a big baby," he said, and I frowned.

"I really, really, really don't want to talk about anything, I'm perfectly fine and dandy, so if you could just let me g-" His free hand covered my mouth, cutting off what I was trying to say. My eyes widened, because that hand had just been on this carpet and now it was over my mouth and oh my god that was gross.

But I remembered I had vacuumed yesterday, so hopefully it wasn't too dirty.

And a tiny part of me really liked the feeling of his hand against my mouth.

"Are you going to shut up and let me say something, or do I need to get duct tape?" He asked, and I shook my head no as best I could. No duct tape; that would probably feel a lot worse than his hand. He uncovered my mouth and I didn't say anything. Maybe he would just say something and let me go?

"Okay, Roxy. What is the deal with you lately? And don't feed me some bullshit excuse, I want the truth. You suck at lying," he said, smiling a bit because it was true, I did suck at lying. Not that I didn't try my best. I took a deep breath, figuring I may as well get it over with.

"I don't know," I said, and then mentally slapped myself. Guess I wasn't gonna get it over with. I tried to push him off of me by rolling side to side, but he was holding his ground. I figured the only way I could get him off was to use my hips, and just the thought made me blush. I was not going to thrust my hips into Axel. There was no way I would be able to do that without getting hard, piss-my-pants scared be damned.

"Rox, bullshit. And stop trying to get me off you or I'll drag you to my room and handcuff you to the bed, don't think I won't," he threatened, and I stopped, my eyes widening more and my face going red.

He had handcuffs?

"You have handcuffs?" I repeated out loud.

He smirked at me. "Yes, I have handcuffs. Don't ask why."

I really didn't want to know about him handcuffing guys or girls to his bed; just the thought made me boil with jealousy. So I shook my head, saying "I'll stop," in a small voice.

Even though if he handcuffed me to his bed, that could get really interesting.

So I just sat there, cringing and trying to summon a black hole to swallow me up and kill me. Or a swarm of bees. Or anything, really. Maybe I should have become Pagan. They do magic, right?

"Will you stop fidgeting around? I'm not going to hurt you, and you're acting like I'm about to slit your throat. Relax," he commanded, and I tried my best. I'd do anything for that voice.

It amazed me that just this morning I would completely deny to myself that I had feelings for this man, but everything that's happened today has made me slowly come to terms with it. I was screwed.

And not in the good way.

"Why are you being so difficult? Relax," he ordered again, and I felt my temper flare. In love with him be damned, he was making this excruciatingly difficult.

With a burst of strength I wrenched my hands from under his, sitting up and pushing him to the side. He looked at me in shock from my unexpected burst of anger.

"You want know what's wrong?" I hissed, swinging my body over his and pinning his hands down, reversing our positions. "You want to know why I'm being 'difficult'?" I pressed harder on his hands, making sure he couldn't rip them from mine. Unlike him, I wasn't very strong, so I couldn't hold him down with just one hand. I think the only reason he wasn't throwing me off was because he was in shock.

"Well, I'll tell you what's wrong. I've been in love with you since day one, and I didn't want to lose you as a friend. Every fucking day I have to look at you and be reminded that I can't have you. I have to watch everything I say around you, in case I say something wrong. I dream about you most nights, and I wake up almost in tears because I want you. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you, and it's even worse because you're so fucking nice I can't help but fall even more in love with you every day. So do you want to know why I'm being difficult?" I spat, pressing harder on his hands and leaning closer. When I didn't get an answer, I lifted them up and slammed them against the ground. "Do you?" I asked a little more harshly, desperately.

Axel suddenly twined his fingers through mine, so that we were essentially holding hands. "I would love to know why you're being difficult, because if you had told me sooner I could have done this." And with that he brought his face up to mine and connected our lips.

I froze up and probably went into shock. Axel? Was kissing me? No. This had to be another dream.

Axel took advantage of me being frozen and pulled his hands out of mine, reaching up and tangling them in my hair, pulling my face closer to his. Before I realized that yes, this was really happening you fucking idiot take advantage of it, he pulled away, smacking his head into the carpet, gasping. I could feel his chest heaving as though he had run a marathon, and if my own heartbeat was anything to go by, it probably felt that way too.

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time too, Roxy," he whispered, tightening his fingers in my hair. "Since I met you, in fact." He kissed the corner of my mouth. "The day Sora met Riku, he came back to our flat so happy that I thought he had gone insane. He told me all about Sora, and I got so jealous because he was practically vomiting a rainbow, he was so in love."

Why was he telling me this? "Sora did the same when he first met Riku," I whispered. "He couldn't stop talking about him, and I was jealous too."

"Well," Axel began carefully. "The day I met you...I understood exactly how Riku felt."

My heart stopped and stuttered, my brain going into overdrive. "I-...It was almost exactly the same for me. Except It hurt because Sora could have Riku, and I couldn't have you?" What I was saying had started as a statement, but it ended in a question, one I didn't want to ask.

"Silly Roxy," Axel whispered, pulling my face down closer to his. "Of course you can have me."

He brought his lips to mine again, and this time I didn't freeze up. I pushed back, opening my mouth at the same time he did, slipping my tongue across and over his. It felt electric, and I could feel myself getting hard already.

I lowered my mouth a bit, so that his lower lip was in between mine, and swiped my tongue across it. Axel groaned into my mouth and did the same to my upper lip. I bit down and pulled on his lower lip, making him thrust his hips upwards into mine.

I broke away this time, gasping. Axel was an amazing kisser. My pants were tight around the groin area, and I could feel that his were too. Axel kissed the corner of my mouth again, and I kissed back, moving my lips from his, trailing along the line of his jaw and burying my face in his neck. God, he tasted good. I pressed my tongue into his pulse, feeling it race as his hands moved out of my hair, down my shoulders and gripped my arms.

I sucked on his pulse for a minute, giving him a wicked hickey, until he pushed me away and sat up. I pouted slightly, but he was just trying to unbutton his shirt. I quickly got the memo and took my own off, throwing it somewhere across the room. In the time it took me to do that, Axel had only unbuttoned three of his buttons. I growled and grabbed each side of the collar, ripping it down, buttons flying off as I pushed the fabric off his shoulders.

"That was my favorite shirt," he murmured, running his hands across my chest.

I went back to kissing his neck. "I'll sew the buttons back on later." I licked below his jawbone and ground my hips down into his. I wanted his pants off, now. I'd gone too long wanting to touch him like this.

He seemed to have the same idea, because he moved his hands under me and undid the button on his pants, then unzipped them. Every time he moved his hand it pressed against me, and I ground myself down onto his hand again.

"Roxy, I can't take my pants off with you doing that," he said through clenched teeth, throwing his head back and hissing.

"Then I'll do it," I said, sliding down his body. I really had no idea what I was doing, but Axel seemed to like it so I was going to trust my instincts on this one. I finished unzipping his pants, yanking them down his hips along with his boxers while he lifted up his butt to make it easier.

As soon as they were off his engorged cock sprang free, and I licked my lips. I had never done this before, and never even thought about doing it, but there's a first time for everything...I straddled his legs and started kissing his stomach, running my hands along his chest and abdomen.

"Lower, Roxy," he commanded. I just smiled and continued kissing along his boxer line, loving the feel and taste of his soft skin. His hands came up to tangle in my hair again, pushing downwards, trying to get me closer to his cock. I let him push me, ghosting my lips over him, puffing out cool air to get him more excited.

"Fuck, Roxy," he groaned, yanking some of my hair out. "Please just put my fucking cock in your mouth, or I'll go nuts." I could feel him wriggling, and I loved knowing I was making him this out of control. He was panting with his head thrown back into the carpet, and I figured I had tortured him long enough.

I kissed the head of his cock, my lips becoming slick and sticky with pre-cum, before snaking my tongue out and pressing it against the vein on the underside, licking slowly downwards. Axel's hands had frozen in my hair and his breathing was erratic. If his reaction was anything to go by, he had been wanting me to do this for quite a while.

I continued to lick and suck, never speeding up, keeping to my slow pace and coating him in saliva. It was driving him mad. His fists clenched in my hair again and pulled, sending a sharp pain shooting across my scalp. God that felt good. I opened my mouth and slid the first third of his cock inside; Axel was a bit above average in the size department, so I probably wouldn't be able to get the whole thing in…I tried my best anyway, pushing him as far down as I could take him, swirling my tongue around the head and wrapping my hand around the part that I couldn't take in my mouth. Axel was gently thrusting and grinding his hips, going wild, gasping and panting.

I brought my other hand down to my own pants and unbuttoned them, slipping my hand inside and palming my own cock. I was so unbelievably horny, but I was determined to make him cum before I let him fuck me.

"Roxy, I'm gonna cum," he gasped, and I moved my hand from his cock to play with his balls, squeezing them gently and massaging them.

Before I could even blink, Axel pushed my head all the way down and thrusted upwards at the same time, so that his cock slid all the way down my throat. I gagged and choked, trying to go back up, but my throat was clenching around him and he was holding me down.

"Oh my god, Roxas, Axel! You couldn't have gone to your room to do this? All over the fucking carpet too!" I heard Riku's distinct voice laughing, and the hand on my head let go. I jerked upwards and turned to look at the doorway, where Riku and Sora were standing, Sora covering his eyes and a deep shade of crimson, Riku laughing his ass off.

But it was a mistake to pull up, because Axel wasn't done cumming, and a shot hit me right in the face, followed by another two, so that I was pretty much dripping in it.

"Axel!" I whined, drawing out his name. "You got cum in my fucking hair! And you two, GET OUT!" I threw a plastic tree decoration at them, trying to stuff myself back in my pants and wipe cum off my face at the same time."Why the fuck are you laughing, Axel? And you too, Riku. Didn't I tell you to get out?" I didn't care that Sora saw, even though he was covering his eyes.

"I got...cum...your hair." Axel howled, wiping tears from his eyes and sitting up, not caring at all that he was naked. I was pretty sure my face was going to burst into flame any second, because Riku was still screaming with laughter on the ground next to Sora, who was at least trying not to bust out laughing.

"GET OUT," I screamed at them, about to pitch a fit. Sora recognized that tone of voice and dragged Riku out the door, but I could hear his self control snap and he was laughing too.

Great. Just great. I was caught by my two housemates blowing our other housemate, who up until this point didn't think we were even a thing, and my hard-on was gone because of my embarrassment. Even when I was getting lucky I wasn't lucky.

I looked over at Axel, whose laughter had died out, and he was looking back at me. I could feel the cum drying on my face, and we just started laughing together at the whole stupid scenario.

"I'm sorry I shot on your face," he said after we had finished laughing, trying to keep a straight face.

I shrugged. "Not your fault we got interrupted, and my dumb ass pulled up at the wrong time. Want to take a shower?" I said, and wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. He laughed and stood up, still naked.

"Sure thing. Wanna finish what we started?" Axel winked, offering me his hand.

I grabbed it and pulled myself up, getting hard again already.

"Definitely."