Dawn Alpha
-Hey guys so this a comic book that me and my friend are working on and im curious what you might think of it so im putting my soul out for you all to review. Please give me feed back it'll help a lot cause i want this to be one of the most popular comic books ever lol.
Leon: Male, 5'8, African American, 195 lbs buzz cut hair style. Clothes for the day windbreaker jacket with a black tee shirt, dog tags, black pants and Air walker shoes.
C.J.:Male, 5'9 African American, 198 lbs, dread locks, Clothes for the day white collar shirt, black pants and Nike shoes
Destiny: Female, 5'6, Mexican, 110 lbs, Long straight black hair, Clothes for the Day blue shirt with a white and black swirl design, blue pants and white addias
Cassandra and Alisha: Females, twins, African American, 5'7, 115 lbs, Cassandra has short straightened black hair, Alisha has long curly black hair, clothes for the day. Cassandra: Purple long sleeve shirt, heart pendant, black pants and purple nikes. Alisha: Black shirt, half heart pendant, blue pants and blue addias.
Subject and people willing and open to change. The idea behind this is mine lol (Always wanted to say this)
I OWN THIS :) Enjoy
(Prologue: This tale began many centuries ago when a man named Vincent that at one point in time was a kind hearted man. He lived in a village and also served as a protector along with the sages. One day an unholy alliance of monsters band together to kill the sages and take a jewel that sages protected. Knowing it was only a matter of time before the threat came to them he said good-bye to his wife who was sage and went off to battle the monsters. The battle was long and hard fought but Vincent was finally able to defeat the monsters long enough to seal them away. But, on that day something changed in side of Vincent and he instead of heading home he launch a full out attack on the world. Many stood up to follow their hero to world domination and ultimate power. Vincent killed many people and many of the sages until there were three left, his wife and her two brothers. These three knew they were next to go so they decided to take the fight to Vincent.
But they weren't alone, five warriors stood up with them to defend the world. These warriors had controlled of the elements water, fire, light, wind, and darkness. Together they were able to defeat Vincent and his army and seal him and his army away. The warriors that fought Vincent that day lost their lives and the power of the elements passed on to others every generation. But recently the seal that held some of the monsters has gotten weaker and will break soon. Hoping to seal it before any damage is done the sages have gather together to stop seal them before they get out and cause havoc again.)
"Dreams they plague us no matter how much we try and forget them… They're said to be a gate way to our subconscious, and sometimes can even predict the future. I hate my dreams… because all they seem to do is remind me of how crappy life is. Yet every morning I wake up in a cold sweat from the same dream, no nightmare is a better word. It starts off great I'm hanging out with my friends and family and nothing seems to be wrong then a darkness engulfs me I look around and see my friends and family dead. Yet at the very end I see the one thing that scares me beyond that. I'm looking it eyes much like my own, yet they hold o much anger behind them. I see a sadistic smile cross the face similar to my own yet I don't know why. Until his eye travel down and my eyes follow and see the horror…he's stabbed me and all to sudden the pain hits me and I scream…."
(The young man is woken up from his day dream, as bell rings signaling the end of the class. He looks around trying to regain his composure, then packs his things and heads for the door. As he enters hallway of his school he hears the whispers of all the other students who are excited for the upcoming break)
Student 1: Fuck man this last class needs to pass by hella quick
Student 2: You're actually going to class?
(He keeps walking trying to keep to himself and ignore all the other people around him. The sounds of lockers opening and shutting fill the air along with random conversations ranging from skipping classes to sex on the roof. After finally reaching his locker he opens it putting his backpack inside and trying to keep his emotions in check. This was Grand Star Academy a prestiages high school for the gifted arts students. He is a freshman who feels out of place at this high end school. Spring was approaching and he too is looking forward to it but as he begins to let his mind wander to what he's going to do his mind goes back to his earlier day dream, more like day nightmare. It's the same nightmare that had been plaguing him for weeks now, yet he had no idea what it meant. He was losing sleep over it and worse of al he was losing his sanity because of It. Trying to put all of that behind him he closes his locker and begins to make his way for the schools exit.)
?: Leon!
Leon: Damn it I was so fucking close… (Stopping in his tracks he waits for the his best friend to catch up to him) What do you want C.J.?
C.J.: The fuck do mean what do it I want? I know you ain't trying to leave without me right? (The to friends look at each other and laugh before making their way to the exit)
Leon: So how was class?
C.J.: Boring as hell the old man just rambled on and on about crab nobody cares about. How bout yours?
Leon: Would have been better if my nap didn't scare the shit outta me. (C.J. looks at him for a second then looks forward again as they keep walking)
C.J.: Same dream again?
Leon: Yea, its becoming more frequent
C.J.: Dude maybe you should tell your parents or something?
Leon: Why? So they can call me crazy, or a crybaby no thanks.
C.J.: Dude…
Leon: Look it's just a reoccurring bad dream nothing more. (They reach the exit where C.J. questionally looks at him) Dude I'll be fine trust me. (They walk out and find a huge crowd of students outside making their way towards all the exits.)
C.J.: Looks like we're not the only ones who thought we could use an early break from school.
Mysterious girl: No you're not (They both sigh out loud before turning around to face C.J.'s girlfriend.) And don't think I didn't hear that? What you aren't happy to see me?
Leon: I didn't say it but since you say it like that… (C.J. walks over to his gf and hugs her then stands by her side.)
C.J: I thought you were staying for your last class that's all babe.
Leon: Yea Destiny aren't you Miss Honor role?
Destiny: For your information I'm also Miss Valedictorian in the making, and if you must know the principle figured since everyone was going to ditch today he canceled class for the day. (Leon looks back at all the people leaving campus barely listening to the conversation being discussed by Destiny and C.J.)
C.J: So it gives you more time to plan the party tonight right?
Destiny: No it gives us more time to plan the party out and set everything up (C.J. looks at her with argumentive look but is defeated immediately when she signals he has no choice)
C.J.: Damn it
Destiny: That's what I though, Leon you'll be coming to the party right? They both look at Leon whose hasn't been paying attention. He turns back to them to see Destiny irritated look toward him and C.J. smirking at the situation.) Well?
Leon: Well what?
Destiny: Are you coming to my party?
Leon: Why are you actually asking me that?
Destiny: What do you mean?
Leon: Well you already know I'm going to say no, then you either threaten me with something or tell me I have no choice but to come. When I refuse you attack me until I give in so…
Destiny: Oh yea I forgot… So I'll see you at the party then (She smiles at him)
Leon: Like I have a choice…
Destiny: Nope you don't
Leon: Look just cause your dad gave you military training doesn't mean I can't kick your ass
Destiny: True but your talking to the girl who dislocated both your arms when you called her annoying. Now what do you think will happen when we actually fight (Leon's eye began to twitch at the painful memory) Yea I wouldn't wanna know either. (She begins to walk away from the boys leaving them to finish their conversation.) Oh and the party starts at 8, so don't be late okay.
C.J.: Well that was a scary moment and thought. (Turning from the retreating back of his girlfriend he looks over at his friend.) Honestly though I think you should go.
Leon: You know I hate parties
C.J.: I know but who knows it might get your mind off of your stupid nightmares you've been having. Beside, (He starts walking the direction his girlfriend was headed.) You need a girlfriend anyway. (He walks out the gates and down the street toward his girlfriend's beach house where the party was being held.)
Leon: Freaking idiots… (Leon stands in the almost empty school yard) Maybe he's right it would help even if it's only a little. (He makes his way toward the exit his friends used but heads the opposite way. With no true destination in sight other than not going home right away he lets his legs take him around the city known as Mid-Crest. As he wandered the city he everywhere he thought would kill the most time. From the mall to the arcade, he went place to place hoping that time would fly by. Unfortunately for him time only seemed to go slowly. He left school about 2:45 and it was barely 5:30. He still had about three hours to kill. He was walking down an all to familiar street when he happened to look up and see he was right in front of the town park. He decide if nothing else he could go inside and have a couple minutes of peace and quite before he had to go to the party. He walked in side and follow one of the paths that headed to the river where he often went. Once he arrived he went to his usually spot underneath the shady tree not to far from the river. He sat down opening up his backpack and pulled out his notebook. He opened it up and began reading his old writings as he often did when he came here to think.)
Girl: Hmm you haven't changed have you? (He looks up and is met by a pair of eyes looking back at him with curiousity)
Leon: Same could said about you huh, Cassandra? (The young women looks at him before turing her attention to the river.)
Cassandra: You know its sad when you and have lived here our whole lives yet neither one of us has come up with better hangout places?
Leon: You're saying that as if one of us is gonna die? (Cassandra remains silent as she conutines to look toward river, Leon becoming worried looked at her with concern)
Cassandra: I hate it when you look at me like that…. It irritates me.
Leon: Here I though you just hated me..
Cassandra: No I just can't stand the sight of you….there's a difference you know. (Leon wanted to say something to here but instead remained silent, not wanting to make things worse)
Leon: Whatever it is I did….I want you to know I'm sorry (Cassandra didn't look him her focus remaining on the image of the sun setting in the river)
Cassandra: Its not what you did Leon…. (She stops herself from going on in fear of truly exposing him to something) Anyway I'll leave to you to your thoughts (She turns and walks away from, Leon wanted to stop her and ask her what she meant by that but again hesitated.)
Leon: Damn it man…. (Leon continued to sit there overthinking her attitude toward her.) I'm suck a fucking idiot huh? (Laid back trying to keep his a calm level head about things. He closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep. )
"I've often been told your dreams are your subconscious warning you of things you fail to notice, your deepest fear, or your hearts desire. Yet when I seem to dream it's never anything I want, but more of what I need."
(As the young boy dream he wasn't plagued with the same nightmare. Instead he had a dreamless nap. Yet his friends were a bit more busy with the preparation for the part.)
C.J: And how did you get your parents to agree to such a large party?
Destiny: Easy I told them that you'd clean it up when were done.
C.J.: (sighing) of course you did… (After placing the last of the food and drinks out she began letting the many party guest into the house)
Destiny: I now welcome you all to the spring bash (A roar of cheers erupted from the crowd of hormone driven teenagers as they began dancing, eating drinking and hanging out.) Hey c.j. have you seen Leon?
C.J.: I don't think he's shown up yet. (As the words left his mouth he saw the look of anger build on her face) But that doesn't mean he's not coming though. (His phone began ringing as he pulled it out and saw the incoming number his face changed and gave Destiny a look which she unfortunately recognized)
Destiny: Not now..
C.J.: Unfortunately yes…. We gotta go. (Nodding silently thet slipped out of the house and disappeared into the night. Back at the park Leon was just waking up to a now dark and seemingly empty park. He pulled out his phone to check the time and freaked out when he saw it was 8:30. H ebplted toward the exit and decided it was just best if he went straight to the party with his backpack and avoid a beating from destiny.)
Leon: Damn it I'm so fucking late… Destiny is gonna break my arms for sure… (As he was running toward her house he was slightly surprised by the lack of people out and about. It was dark true but this was a town that loved to have fun at night yet no one was outside. He was too preoccupied with making it to the party to really question it. As he was still running and wasn't paying attention to where he was going he collided into someone.) Hey are you okay dude? (He looked toward the mysterious figure who was still standing, and not really looking toward him but more into the distance.) Umm well if your fine then I'll just be on my way…
Mysterious figure: Can you feel it?...
Leon: (Caught off guard he looked at him wondering what he was talking about) Can I feel what?
Mysterious Figure: The change in the air… the evil that's coming here… for you…
Leon: (Now extremely confused Leon tried to pass it off as crazy man talk) Well then you're obviously out of your mind so I'm gonna go. (Leon walks past him but then is grabbed by the figure.) Hey dude back off
Figure: You have no idea how much danger you're do you? Or the secret that's right in your face…
Leon: Look man chill out and let go… (He snatches his arm away and keeps running toward the party. After he gets a safe distance he begins to slow down.) Man that was fucking weird. (He could hear the loud music and the costal air hit him. He was finally at the Destiny's party. He made his way into the house and saw most if not all the school inside having fun. He began walking around looking for Destiny to show her that he was here. After he checked the whole first floor he made his way upstairs hoping she'd be in her room or something. As he made his way to her room he saw some of his fellow classmates go into rooms and shut the door. The smell of sex strong in the air her opened her door and saw no one inside. He then closed the door and walked back down the stairs and headed toward her backyard, better known as the beach. He stood there tarring into the ocean before he pulled out his phone and sent a text to her asking her where she was before turning his attention back to the ocean. He started to let his mind wander and think of different things before his thoughts were interrupted.)
Mysterious voice: Hey Leon long time no see.
Leon: (Looks toward the person) Hey Alisha (Alisha is Cassandra's twin sister) First I see Cassandra now you it's a freaking miracle.
Alisha: You saw her huh? Now that is a shock to say the least. (Leon then returned his gaze toward the ocean. Seeing this she also looked to the ocean) You know it's nice out here.
Leon: Yea it is.
Alisha: So why are you here? If I remember correctly parties aren't your type of thing.
Leon: Your friend Destiny threatened me if I didn't show.
Alisha: Now talk about irony
Leon: What do you mean?
Alisha: I haven't seen her or C.J. since the party started the disappeared about an hour a go
Leon: Are you kidding me?
Alisha: Unfortunately not. (She looked at him curiously wondering what he was going to do next)
Leon: Well then looks like I don't have to be here anymore. (He began to walk away form her)
Alisha: Hey Leon… (He stopped and turned back toward her) You know that you and I are friends right?
Leon: (He smiled at her) Yea I know... (She smiled back at him. As they stood there the ground began to tremble underneath their feet.) What the hell?
Alisha: It can't be… (The ground started shaking again with the termors became even fiercer and were coming more often)
Leon: Since when do we get earthquakes?
Alisha: (Realizing something was wrong tried to compose herself) Leon we should probably get out of here..
Leon: Why its just some shaking nothing more…(A loud monstrous groan was heard from all around then screaming from the party was followed) What the hell is going on?
Alisha: We should really leave now? (She grabbed his arm and started pulling him toward the other way of the beach away from the house) remember what happens to black people in scary movies…
Leon: But what about the people we should at least try and help them…
Alisha: I'm sure they'll be fine….
Leon: Yea but…(Then huge boom, in an instant half the beach house was gone screams a of the party goer's were loud as bodies were flying through the air toward him he saw the something he wished he hadn't) No way…that's freaking huge.
Alisha: Leon you have to get out of here now…
Leon: (Caught in a stupor he continued to look at the beast as it became more clear) It can't be… (The image of a giant demonic frog seemed to come out of the wreckage of the house It looked around until it seemed to find Leon. The best locked gazes with him then launched toward him.)
Alisha: Leon lets move now (Leon caught in fear couldn't or wouldn't move) Damn it Leon move… (The frog landed in front of them it knocked Alisha away from Him)
Leon: ALISHA! (He looked toward her limp body hoping she was okay but seeing no movement his fear quickly rose. The frog now wasting little time hit Leon sending him flying backwards and skidding against the sand until he came to a stop. Leon trying and failing to stand up starts spiting up blood from possible broken ribs.) Damn that fucking hurt a lot (Finally getting to his feet he saw the frog had launched its tongue at him…closing his eyes and waiting for the impact. But when nothing happened he opened his eyes and got the shock of his life) C.J…
C.J.: Hey dude how was the party?
Leon: What the fuck do you mean how was the party you asshole? What the hell is going on here dude?
C.J: Well you know nothing unusual just hanging out with friends. (Leon look at him with a serious look, then noticed the gauntlets on his hands and the surging electricity flowing around)
Leon: What the hell…. (Seeing his friends expression change C.J. became serious)
C.J.: Hey Leon, can you move… (As he began talking to him, the frog regained its composure and started to head toward them.)
Leon: Not really why? (C.J. looked at him briefly then back toward the frog.)
C.J.: I don't know what this thing really wants but it seems to want to attack you need to get out of here while I deal with this thing…
Leon: If you think I'm letting you deal with this thing by yourself your…
C.J.: You don't have much of a choice okay. You have no idea what something like this is capable of doing so please let me handle this okay. (Leon looked at his friend and felt the seriousness coming from him)
Leon: You owe me an explanation after all this okay…
C.J.: Yea okay…(Noddig his head Leon began to run away clutching his ribs. Seeing this the frog moved to intercept them until C.J. stepped in front of it.) Hey now your fights with me… (Leon had somehow made it back to the road when he saw Destiny running toward him)
Destiny: Leon! (She ran toward him seeing he was hurt) What happened to you?
Leon: (Before he could explain happened the frog had somehow gotten past C.J. and was now coming for Leon) C.J…
Destiny: Leon yo have to get out of here… (She pulled out a gun and started shooting at the beast)
Leon: What the fuck is going on here…(The frog began taking in a lot of air then he shot a pressurized bullet of air towards them both) No not like this… (As the attack got closer and closer Leon began to panic and his fear grew more and more) I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I DON'T WANNA DIE! (Something snapped inside him at that moment, a force that felt by C.J., Alisha and even the figure from before.)
Mysterious figure: So you've awakened have you… (Bright light surrounded Leon, and an explainable heat began to surround him. At the same time the wind bullet was itself blown away. When the light dispersed Leon was standing there with a faraway look in his eyes and an intense blazing circle of fire swirling around him.
Destiny: Leon…. (She looked at him as he just stood there C.J. was now running toward them hoping he was wrong about what happened...)
C.J.: Damn it all… It just had to be him huh… (The frog now seemed a bit confused but continued with its attack it once again took in air and then released it all at Leon.)
Destiny: Leon get out of there! (Leon stood there as the attack inched closer until the fire acting on its own created a barrio around him blocking the attack. C.J. had just arrived there to see what was going on and couldn't believe what was going on)
C.J.: No way…he mastered it this fast? (As the blazing bar died down it began to surround him again. As if I slow motion he raised his hand and blasted the monster with a huge fireball. Seeming caught off guard the frog couldn't dodge the attack and was struck head on with the attack.) Whoa now that was a lot of power…(The now injured monster tried getting away until his way was once again block by C.J.) Now where do you think you're going (Electricty began building in his gauntlet and in on one fluid motion the monster was destroyed.) Well that takes care of that… (His gaze returned to his friend whose fire was now dying down.) Leon you there dude? (He didn't recive an answer instead he watched his friend fall to the ground) Leon! (He saw Destiny run towards him to check on him)
Destiny: He's okay, he just passed out.
C.J.: Damn it….
Destiny: Yea I know…. (They both looked at there unconscious friend)
Both of them: He's the last one….
The end.
Yea i know the prologue was crap but i hope it helped
Tell me what you think please review