I don't own Ranma or its characters and make no money from writing these stories.
The full idea for this story was sent to me by PM by Emotionally Crippled Reader, who has been sending me story ideas for months as he (she?, sorry in our many traded PMs I forgot to ask your sex, lol) wants to see more of the minor characters used and with me being an Anime girl, I didn't know half who they were talking about. So in this case a minor story idea was set up and the pairing suggested and I came up with the story written below, so thank you Emotionally Crippled Reader, this story is dedicate to you. Sid thanks you and am glad I could finally write something you will (hopefully) enjoy,
Roll 'em...
"I would like to check in" the handsome, almost pretty Chinese man said.
"I need to see some identification and a major credit card" the man behind the hotel desk said.
The teenager, cast a glance his way and stubbornly said, "I shall be paying cash."
"That's fine, sure, but I still need to see some kind of identification and a major credit card in order to allow you to book a room" the man stubbornly said.
"I don't have time for this. I would like to check into my room, which I reserved in advance. Kindly give me my keys and I'll go up and get myself settled. I am only in town for a brief time and don't wish to waste any more of it discussing trivialities with you" he said to him with a glare.
"The please give me your identification and a major credit card" the man demanded this time.
"Fine, here it is" he said throwing his Chinese passport and credit card at him.
"Thank you, Mr. Taro Pantyhose" the man said and then looked like he was struggling not to laugh.
"Is there something funny?" Pantyhose asked him in a dangerous sounding voice.
"No, no. It's not a very common name is all. In fact, I've never heard it before. Were your parents hippies by any chance?" he said, starting to giggle as he handed Pantyhose his keys.
"No, I'm here to make sure it gets changed in fact" he said, grabbing them from him. Then he reached forward and gripped the man by the collar. "This is for being such a demanding bitch" he said, punching him across the face. "This is for having a chuckle at my expense" he said, giving him another punch "and this is for making fun of my name" he said, finally punching his lights out. "I'll make sure to report to your head office, how wonderful you were to deal with, Wilbur" Pantyhose said reading his name off his badge. "Seriously? You're named after some stupid cartoon pig and you're making fun of my name? This hotel is getting a horrible rating from me on the travel sites" he said, picking up his bag and going to his room...while everyone else stood back, well away from him.
Mariko was leading her squad through practice drills (and many innocent students were getting clobbered in the process due to their dirtier martial arts moves) when for no reason, a truck barreled into the middle of the field of Seisyun High School. Almost killing the bubbly, popular and endearingly annoying young vixen known as Mariko (and this wouldn't be a bad thing according to this author; but I digress). She was almost run over, by the giant gleaming eighteen wheeler, almost squashed like a bug under a fly swatter. Pow, she would have been a goner if a green blur had not barreled down on her and scooped her up, yanking her to safety at just the last possible second.
Mariko had shut her eyes at the sight of her final demise, when strong arms came around her and she was practically flown out of the way of danger. "Are you okay?" a Chinese accented voice asked her. She cracked her eyelids and gaped at the dangerously pretty boy who held her.
"How can I thank you. You saved my life...oof" she gushed and clung to him and then he rudely released her and she landed unceremoniously on her petite derriere. "Where are you going?" she demanded, rounding on him while rubbing her sore butt.
"I have stuff to do, glad to see you're okay. Now I have to go" he said.
"Tell me your name so I will know who to dedicate my personalized C-H-E-E-R, cheer to" she said, clinging to his sleeve.
"My name is unimportant and no business of yours" the Chinese jerk said, yanking himself free of her grasp.
"But I must know the name of the F-A-T-H-E-R, father of my future children" she demanded.
"Were you dropped on your head as a baby or do you have some weird erotic obsession with spelling? I'm not interested, lady. F-U-C-K-O-F-F" he replied.
"But I know that the fates intended for you to be here today in matters of L-O-V-E, love" she insisted."Now please tell me your name" she insisted.
"Bruce Lee" he said and turned to walk away.
"Okay, B-R-U; wait a minute. He's dead and so is his son" she said suspiciously
"Fine, I'm Number One Son" he replied.
"Stop making racist stereotypical jokes and tell me your name or I will follow you until you do" she practically screamed.
He winced, "will you spell at me some more?" he asked her suspiciously.
"Y-E-S, yes!" she firmly said.
"Oh very well, it's..." he started and then the sprinkler system came on and he was transformed into his cursed self and this caused Mariko to faint as the huge creature suddenly loamed over her. Not sure what to do with the girl, he put her over his shoulder, consulted an address and then flew towards it.
He descended closer to the Tendo dojo with the hapless girl still draped over his shoulder, when the two Kunos' happened to be strolling by.
"I know that girl draped over that creature's shoulder!" Kuno cried.
"He must have attacked her" Kodachi cried in return.
"Release her" Kuno demanded, burnishing his bokken at the creature. He was stunned when it just emitted a sigh of impatience, rolled its eyes and knocked him out with a hoof punch.
"How dare you do that to my brother!" Kodachi shrieked and with another hoof butt, she was unconscious too. Not sure what to do with the others either, he picked them up too and proceeded to the Tendo house and knocked on the door.
Kasumi answered it and smiled when she recognized him. "Hello Mr. Taro, are you visiting Japan?" she asked him. He just nodded. "Looks like you brought guests; please come in for tea. I'll get you some hot water and find you some clothes" she offered, holding the door open for him. "Ranma, Akane; Pantyhose Taro is here to see you" she called to them. They came alright but looked underwhelmed to see him.
"Please help me carry in the tea, Akane" Kasumi said while she arranged the three unconscious people on the couch with Ranma's help and waved smelling salts under their noses.
"That's a horrible smell, Pigtailed Girl, please don't wear that perfume to bed anymore" Kuno said when he came to.
While Kodachi at the same time said, "oh Ranma, spank me in bunny slippers" and both blinked at each other in confusion.
"Kuno?" Mariko asked him.
"Hello again Mariko Konjo" Kuno greeted her, wondering how the heck he had gotten into the living room of the Tendo house, but assumed that an explanation was forthcoming.
"H-E-L-L-O, hello Kuno" she said.
"Is that the cheerleader martial artist you told me about?" Kodachi asked as she leaned over and whispered to him.
"Yes" he replied.
"You may not date with her; I couldn't handle the spelling thing" she said with a frown
"it's okay, I've got a new L-0-V-E, love" she assured her.
"Hey everyone, hey Mariko" Ranma said to her. "How do you all know Pantyhose?" Ranma asked them.
"I wear them when the weather is a little cooler" Kodachi stated at the odd question.
"I know my sister wears them" Kuno cautiously answered as well.
"As do I" Mariko said.
"They don't; I rescued the cheerleader from getting squished and Weird and Weirder challenged me on the way over here, so I knocked them unconscious. I brought them all here with me, seeing how you seem to surround yourself with the bat shit crazies, so I assumed you'd know them" Pantyhose said when he appeared wearing a white gi and drying his hair.
"Yes they would be Mariko Konjo and Kodachi Kuno and her brother, Tatewaki Kuno," Ranma introduced them.
"Kodachi, Tatewaki? What are you, cartoon characters?" Pantyhose asked them with a smirk.
"Pleased to meet everyone" Mariko said.
"Who is this? The creature we attacked in defense of Mariko seemed to be some kind of bull" Kuno said, totally oblivious the fact he and his sister had been referred to as bat shit crazy, or assumed Pantyhose just meant Mariko perhaps.
"This is Pantyhose Taro" Ranma introduced.
Pantyhose glared when all three started snickering.
"Wow, your parents sure must have hated you and you have the nerve to make fun of my name" Kuno said with a chuckle.
"Kuno, there's no need to be rude" Mariko hissed. "I think it's a perfectly lovely name. You really can't go wrong with a traditional name like Taro" she added and Kodachi blew an uncharacteristic raspberry at this.
"There sure is a lot of bull going on" Akane said, coming out of the kitchen with the tea tray.
"Hello again Akane, nice outfit. Did you lose a bet?" Pantyhose asked her and she felt steam coming out of her ears at the insult.
"As for you Ranma. Did you put on some weight?" he asked him.
"I weigh what I always do" Ranma said, patting his perfectly rock hard abs.
"I guess it's in your butt where it really show. But you really do have a huge one. Don't you?" Pantyhose.
"How dare you!" Ranma raged.
"Tea everyone?" Kasumi intervened.
"Now who's at the door?" Akane asked as Kasumi poured tea for the rest.
Akane opened the door to admit Cologne, Shampoo and Mousse, "where's Pantyhose?" Shampoo demanded.
"Oh look now my old pals are here, Cologne, you're look old and fossilized as ever, Shampoo, I see you're still doing the Chinese bimbo act. Or is it an act. And as for Mousse, old buddy old pal, I see you're still Shampoo's bitch" he greeted them.
"Pantyhose, that's not a nice thing to say, honey" Mariko admonished him. "You shouldn't be a rude houseguests or rude to anyone for that matter." He just smirked at her when she said this.
"Oh you know him? Is he from your tribe?" Kuno asked them.
"No tribe wants to claim him" Shampoo said coldly back.
"We came here to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone. This one can be a sadistic bastard" Cologne explained.
"Oh and how did you know I was here?" he asked her.
"Someone reported the sight of a flying Minotaur; it was hardly hard to figure it out it was you, stupid" Mousse said to him.
"Come join us for tea" Kasumi suggested, giving them all a welcoming smile.
"Kasumi, what's going on here?" asked Soun when he came into the house with Genma.
"I came to get a new name from the old fart but am forced to have a tea party with your cunt daughters and her stupid friends" Pantyhose said, spilling the tea on the floor and everyone looked on in shock at how blatantly disrespectful he was being.
"Oh, I'll clean that up" Kasumi said everyone gasped when he shoved her over.
"How dare you!" Ranma cried. Helping Kasumi up, "Kasumi has been nothing but kind to you; apologize" he demanded.
"Like I give a shit if I've hurt the feelings of some bimbo kitchen bitch" he said with a sneer.
"Apologize" Kuno demanded as well.
"Son, you will apologize to my daughter and her friends and be on your way" Soun said, advancing on him.
"Or I can just douse myself with the cold water in this thermos and have some fun with all of you? Shall I give all the boys pretty new faces before I forcefully fuck all the girls or after?" he asked them sweetly as he held the thermos threateningly over his head.
"Quick, someone stop him!" Ranma cried.
Pantyhose was about to unleash a tirade of hurt on everyone present until a tiny hand plucked the thermos from him and Mariko thirstily gulped down the contents of it, while everyone seemed to be shocked at how fast she could move. "Thanks, I really do need truly cold water to break my thirst. Tea just doesn't seem to cut it for me, not that it wasn't appreciated" she said looking at him through large, brown innocent eyes.
"I needed that" he cried at her.
Suddenly she smiled in a way that looked positively feral. "Looks like it's time for you to reform your evil ways, lover" she hissed and he flinched back. "Stay back, let Mariko handle this," she called to the room at large. "All he needs is L-O-V-E, love to cure him of his awful behaviour. Love straightens out a man in no time flat" she insisted, dragging him off with her and she pulled him into the first bedroom she could find and locked the door.
"What the hell are you playing at you stupid bitch?" he snapped at her as he went to move past her. "What are you doing?" he asked and started blushing when she pulled her cheerleader uniform over her head.
"I'm a good woman who will cure you of all evil in your heart and replace it with pure love" she said, wiggling out of her spanky pants and standing before him wearing just a pink bra and panties.
"I'm not interested" he cried as she advanced on him and she undid her bra and tossed it aside. "Stay away from me" he threatened and gasped when he tripped backwards over the fairly low bed and sprawled across it.
"Sorry honey, a girl has to do what a girl has to do" she said with a shrug, letting her panties fall in a heap and leaping lightly into bed with him.
"I don't want you" he cried as she yanked at his clothes with what seemed to be eight hands, the frogs of his shirt were already and unbuttoned and his pants halfway down his thighs.
"Everyone wants to do the head cheerleader and you are no exception" she said, tying his hands to the headboard with his pantyhose belt. "Some people just need a little more encouragement than others" she said as his boxers came off in her hands. "Now I'm going to kiss you and you get to name the place I should start" she said as she crossed her arms over her chest, while she tapped her teeth with her forefinger in contemplation. " No suggestions? Okay, I get to pick" she said, lowering her head down and his moans told her she would have no further trouble with him.
Everyone could only blushingly listen and ignore the cries and moans coming from upstairs.
"Can't we put on some music?" Kuno asked as he blushed bright red, a stain that matched almost everyone else's faces in the room.
"At my age you enjoy the sounds of young people" Cologne said as she sipped her tea. "I can't imagine you're much quieter when you do that. You seem like the vocal type to me" she teased him and he blushed an even deeper red colour.
"Hear that, Tendo? That's the sound of sixteen years of pent up bitterness and aggression being released" Genma said.
"So why couldn't they have done that in your room, Saotome?" Soun asked him.
"On my bed? Don't be gross" he answered.
"Seriously Kodachi, do we really have to play Old Maid right now? Akane complained.
"It's a good distraction from..." she said, pointing towards the ceiling.
Just then Mariko screamed "Oh I'm C-O-M-I-N-G, coming!"
"We could just leave" Kuno offered to the blushing girl.
"Nonsense, it would be rude to abandon everyone in their times of need. We're all in this together" Kodachi firmly said.
"I don't know whether to be turned on or horrified at this" Mousse whispered to Ranma.
"I'm horrified on my part; the biggest jerk in China's getting laid where I live" Ranma said, trying to stuff cotton into his ears; it wasn't helping.
"As long as you realize that not all people from China are jerks" Mousse replied.
"Seriously do we have to listen to this?" Kuno complained to where Mariko and Pantyhose got even louder and appeared to be having a yodeling contest.
"So leave" Ranma said.
"Deal me in" he said to Kodachi and Akane and all the blushing teenagers forced themselves to endure every last gasp, moan and scream the new couple doled out to them.
HOURS LATER
Mariko slinked down the stairs like a well satisfied cat coming down from a catnip high, clutched onto Pantyhose's arm, both of them were beaming. "I want to thank everyone for your hospitality but we have to go get Bertram settled into my home. I talked to my parents and he's coming to live with us" she explained.
"Bertram?" Ranma questioned and everyone else silently mouthed it and winced; wondering if perhaps Pantyhose wasn't so bad after all.
"It's his new name; it seems that this was what all this foolishness was about. So we opted to change it," she explained, giving his arm an affectionate squeeze and he looked decidedly sheepish.
Bertram Taro bowed low, "I'm so sorry for all the the trouble it caused. Please accept my sincere apologises" he humbly said and they all accepted them graciously.
"Come on baby" Mariko said to him. "Oh and please give these to someone called Happosai on behalf of Bertram and myself" she said as she tossed her pink panties over her shoulder and Ranma blushed as he caught them...and allowed them to drop to the floor when he realized how wet they were.
"Well what do you know; it is possible for a good woman to reform a bad man" Mousse mused as he watched them depart. "I wonder if Mariko would be willing to teach us her techniques?"
"You'll learn those on your own soon enough, boy. Though you would have to find a girl for that; and not Shampoo," Cologne stated and Mousse blushed while everyone tittered at that.
"Now what?" Ranma asked everyone.
"Dinner at the Neko Hanten, our treat?" Kuno suggested.
"I could eat" Ranma agreed.
"Sounds great, we have to set up for the dinner rush anyway; what better than to open it with our favourite people?" Cologne said.
"What is your obsession with Chinese food? You eat so much of it" Kodachi said to Kuno.
"I love the taste of it and I'm a growing boy" he joked to her.
"You're going to be growing in directions you don't like to if you continue to eat like you do," she teased him.
"I'll meet you after I clean up father's room" Kasumi called after them, sounding none too thrilled at the idea.
THE END