"You're becoming just like your father, Nathan Scott, the father you never wanted to be. Is that what you want? Because when you beat on Lucas, when you cheat on me, you're like your father, and if you don't change then I am walking out with you, and I don't care if I'm nine months pregnant!" NP oneshot

--

Peyton, I'm sorry, I was such a jerk

Nathan ripped the letter in half. How insecure WAS he? He knew Peyton loved him! He didn't have to apologize for his stupidity!

"You're becoming just like your father, Nathan Scott, the father you never wanted to be. Is that what you want? Because when you beat on Lucas, when you cheat on me, hell yeah, you're like your father, and if you don't change then I am walking out with you, and I don't care if I'm nine months pregnant!"

Obviously, she was upset, she never mentioned getting pregnant. He was relieved she wasn't.

So he had to write the apology letter. Obviously. But Nathan wasn't gifted for words – that was Lucas' gift. Lucas was so much better at it than he was. Not like Nathan could go to Lucas for help, though!

He could imagine the scenario:

Lucas, MY girlfriend, which YOU have a major, obvious crush on, I need to apologize too, YOU'RE better at words than me, and I want your help.

Who was he kidding? Lucas would talk to him and probably even help him. The thing was, Nathan did not want Lucas' help. He thought it was funny: Lucas had the world's biggest crush on Peyton and probably even loved her, but wouldn't make any moves on her because Nathan was his brother.

That, and because Nathan would beat him to a pulp, or kidnap him and leave him in a ditch. Although there were some things Nathan was doing better, defending Peyton wasn't one of them. Oh, he defended her, alright – but he knew that she hated how he defended her.

Another thing to add in his apology letter, he thought glumly, relieved that she wasn't like, nine months pregnant, as far as he knew. Of course, he thought, as far as he knew, they weren't allowed to have sex. Peyton had her father's values, or at least pretended too. Sometimes, it got old, but despite his failings, he loved Peyton.

So how could he put that into words…?

Peyton, I am supersorry. I miss you so much and I love you and I want to be with you

Talk about corny! Super sorry wasn't even just one word, it was two words, and man was he a stupid letter writer.

He threw that in the trash, too.

Peyton,

I don't want to be like my father.

Damn, his dad would have his hide if he ever saw that floating around… He wrinkled it up, threw it in the trash can.

Peyton,

You're my roll model, my darling, my sweet heart, my

He wasn't big on the sugary stuff. He threw that letter out, too.

Inside I've made a change, and with your help I'm different now

Too corny, he thought, and besides, Haley was really the singer-songwriter of the group.

Why did this have to be so hard?

Why did he have to write this letter?

Why couldn't he call?

I don't want to speak to you until you decide for yourself that you're not going to be like your ass of a father. I know you hate him because he beats on you and so do I, but you're doing the exact same thing to Lucas, Nathan! Think about it! What do you call beating the shit out of Lucas? A sissy punch? He looked at me, Nathan, and I looked at him first. I'm a big girl! I can defend myself! And if I ever need your help I will let you know! But until then, you can't go around randomly beating people up because they looked at me!

He got out a fresh piece of paper, a smooth piece of paper. If only there was someone he could ask for advice. But his mother, Debra Lee, had died two years ago, mysteriously murdered, and his father – well, his father wasn't good at advice for anything, much less love.

I don't want to be like my father, Peyton.

He stared at the words on the paper. He didn't want to be like his father. He wanted to love Peyton, not use her and not…

Why couldn't he tell her that?

Why couldn't he call?

Why was he so damn chicken anyway?

He ripped up the paper, again, and threw it out. He threw on his Abercrombie & Finch zip hoodie, trying to hide his most recent bruise, and threw on some sneakers. He was a horrible letter writer.

His father would probably kill him for sneaking out, but he didn't care. He wanted to talk to Peyton, apologize, to help her understand.

The walk to Peyton's house was a long one, but it gave him plenty of time (perhaps more than needed, even) to think. He didn't bother taking his car, that was a dead giveaway to wherever he was, something he really didn't feel like letting his father know, at the moment.

When he got there, he knocked on the door, gulping nervously. "Peyton?" he questioned, looking at her.

"Nathan?" Peyton's voice held a semi-questioning tone. "I thought you were pissed with me!" she said, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why would I be pissed at you? You were pissed at me. I was trying to make you un-pissed," he muttered, hugging her as he followed her inside. "I'm sorry, Peyton… it's just, Lucas, I don't know, something in him makes me snap…"

"I think you get so angry at Lucas because your father's angry. I know you don't want to be like your father, and I don't think you are—I think you're hurt, lost and confused," Peyton told him. "I think you're upset, angry, and absolutely furious. And you should be – at your father. Lucas isn't anything like your father, he's just someone your father is angry at and compares you too all the time. I think I'd be a little frustrated too!"

"But you told me that you hated me for beating up on him."

"I don't hate you, Nathan, and like I said I understand why you're upset. But you can't go beating up on every guy who hits on me!"

"I'm sorry, Peyton." He sighed as he leaned against her.

"I know, Nathan." She sighed as she leaned against him.

And once again, the world was right for these two lovers.