Heat Wave, another weather inspired CS One shot
Rating: Teen, mild adult situations
Description: Storybrooke is overcome with a massive heat wave, making life uncomfortable. Some manage better than others. In fact, a certain pirate is finding silver linings to the heat, especially where Swan is concerned.
Author's Note: as with Rain, there are two versions. For the Adult, go to tumblr, fancat69fanfic.
1753 words
Heat Wave
Storybrooke was hit with lots of sunshine and high temperatures. The sunny, warm weather hung over the town for weeks. In fact, it was becoming blistering, smothering, and uncomfortable.
People were losing their cool.
"No!" screamed Emma. "No,no, no…" She hit the wall with her head. "The air can't go out, not now! It's the freaking Sahara in here already!"
"The what?" asked Killian, sitting at their kitchen table.
"It's a desert, but thanks to no air conditioning, we're soon going to be living in an even worse one-Death Valley."
He chuckled. "That's the upside of living in a land with none of these bloody modern machines, Love. They can't break."
"I don't even know how to respond to that logic."
"I'm not the one stirring herself into a raging typhoon over a little heat."
"A little?" she asked. She opened the fridge, took out an egg, and cracked it onto the kitchen counter. It sizzled. She raised an eyebrow at him.
Hook chuckled. "So it's a trifle warm, Love. At least we won't starve."
"A trifle? The freaking egg is cooking in the room's temperature!"
He laughed.
"We're going to die of heat exhaustion," she said with a groan. She grabbed her phone. "I'm getting this fixed, now!"
Unfortunately, with the weather came a flood of air conditioner breakdowns. Emma's problem wouldn't be addressed until the next week, at the earliest.
Killian watched with a pleased eye as she systematically began wearing fewer and fewer clothes.
First it was a shirt and light weight pants. Then she traded those in for tank tops and shorts. Today she was in a bra and panty.
"I do admire the attire of the heat wave," he said with a lusty gin.
She rolled her eyes. "How can you wear leather?"
He smirked. Despite wearing, a long sleeve shirt, pants, and even a jacket, he wasn't sweating. "Love, I'm used to unpleasant weather conditions. It gets very hot below deck. I often sailed in the tropics, you know."
"Aren't you the hardy one?"
"Aye," he said with a smug grin.
After a few days, the sight of his scantily clad, sweaty Swan was becoming too much for him. One night, as Emma stood in the open window of their room, trying in vain to get a breeze, he pounced on her.
"Killian, no!"
"Come on, Love, let me take your mind off the heat."
"Your idea of a distraction would make us both combust in piles of ash."
He grinned leeringly. "That sounds like a devilishly good a way to go."
She pushed him off. "I'm not in the mood. I'm too hot."
He licked his lip and tried to toy with her hair. It was stuck to her neck though. "How cruel. I'm burning up, Love, and you refuse to give me relief."
"Take a cold shower."
His eyes lit up. "Ooh, excellent suggestion!"
"Uh, no. I'm not joining you."
"Emma, it will give you some refreshment."
She bit her lip. He went to their bathroom and ran a cold, full shower. The sound aroused her, not the idea of fooling around but the thought of the cool, flowing water running over every inch of her.
"OK," she said.
Ever the gentleman, he let her in the water first. She stood in the stream of water, letting it slowly cool off her burning skin.
"Emma, Love, the idea was for a two-some."
"In a minute."
He chuckled and approached. "You should know you cannot deny a pirate."
She waved her hand, sealing him out with magic.
"Bloody hell! Emma!"
"I have to cool off first."
He smacked at the invisible wall with his hookless hand. "You cannot do this to me, wench! You stand there in all your glorious nakedness and yet keep me at bay!"
She chuckled.
"I cannot and will not take responsibility for anything that may transpire if you continue to deny me."
"I'm not afraid of your threats."
He wined, throwing his own naked body against the magic wall. "Emma…."
She laughed and finally dissolved it, causing him to fall into the shower and onto her body.
He sighed happily. "Much better, Love."
She shook her head with a smile.
Then he helped himself to some relief... Emma.
As time passsed with no repairmen knocking on her door, Emma spent as much time as she could in air conditioned places. Today she was at her parents' loft. Unfortunately a screaming, hot infant wasn't helping her mood.
"It's so hot in here," she whined. "How can it be hot with the air running?"
"Because it's like 120 outside," said her father.
"It's Maine, for crying out loud! How is it so hot?" she asked.
David shook his head. "I dunno. He looked at the pirate. "How are you in leather still?"
"I know!" cried Emma. "He's not human!"
Killian just smirked at his companions who wore far fewer clothes and seemed to be handling the weather far worse than he.
"I have an idea," said Snow. "Let's go to the beach."
Emma groaned. "No air-conditioning."
Her mother laughed. "No, but it might take our minds off the heat. At least the beach has cool water and a breeze."
"And sand and bugs and lots of sweaty people," Emma retorted. "Yay."
"I like the beach," Hook said helpfully. Mary Margaret smiled at him.
Emma did not. "Traitor."
"I've been tempted to try these new fangled ways of 'sailing," he said, using air quotes.
"What new fangled ways?" asked David.
Henry chuckled. "I think he means wind surfing, kayaking or canoeing."
"Indeed," said the Captain.
"I think it sounds like fun," agreed the teen.
"No, it doesn't," said Emma. "The wind sticking sweaty hair on my face? No thank you."
"Come on, Honey, let's give the beach a go," said Snow. Everyone nodded.
"Fine," grumbled an unhappy Emma.
At the beach, the boys did some sailing, Hook found it very amusing. He shook his head at the "impossible small size of the vessels." He very slowly walked around the options: wind boards, kayaks, and small canoes.
Finally he chose to go wind surfing. "It has a sail and a mast. It's adorable," he said with a slightly condescending grin.
Henry laughed. "I'm game."
David nodded. "Prepare to lose this race, Hook."
The pirate laughed haughtily.
Soon they were all in the water, leaning back on their boards and letting the wind guide them.
David cackled as he sailed past. "I thought you were a sailor, Hook!"
Henry laughed too, trailing behind Gramps.
Killian grumbled. "No ship gets the better of Captain Hook." He experimented with the board, learning how to command it with his moves. He easily found the wind and then his natural sailing ability kicked in.
Though they had quite a lead, Hook easily sailed past them both. He called back cheekily, "And look, I'm one handed!" he cried, waving his hook at them.
Henry laughed.
"Show off pirate," grumbled David.
After the race they joined the ladies in sunbathing.
"Oh, Killian, you're so pale," said Snow. "You're going to get terribly sunburned. Let me put some sun lotion on you."
"Good luck with that forest on his chest," grumbled David. "You should shave that mess."
Emma sat up like a shot from a cannon. "Do NOT touch the chest hair!"
Killian smiled.
Snow stifled a giggle.
Henry groaned and got up. "I'm going to make a sand castle."
David looked seasick. "I'm going to help." He shot the couple a glare.
Killian laughed.
Emma had turned red and not from too much sun. "Mom, I think the lotion is a job for me," she said, taking the bottle.
Snow giggled. "You have a point."
Emma settled over Killian's body, trying to ignore the smirk on his face as he lay still. She soothed the warm cream over his body, pulling playfully with the blessed chest hair.
"I like this activity, Swan. I do, very much."
She blushed. "Whatever." She smiled though. When she was done, she laid beside him on the blanket. "Maybe the beach isn't so bad."
He chuckled and lightly rubbed her back. "No, indeed not."
One entire month of excessive heat finally took it's toll...on Hook.
"This is not acceptable!" he raved aboard the Jolly. "One cannot live in this extreme heat!"
"KIllian, calm down," Emma said, alarmed that her boyfriend was frantically tearing at his clothes.
"I am a poor, out-of-the-ocean fish, drying up in the intolerable sun!" he cried. He ripped his shirt off his body. He then pulled down his pants.
"Killian! We're not out to sea! We're sitting here, at the docks, in the open! You can't….disrobe in public!"
"I would rip this bloody, blistering skin off my poor bones if it was possible!"
He was running around crazy. Then he suddenly dropped to the deck and began to crawl in a frenzy.
"Babe, stop!"
He flailed about on the deck like a dying, gasping fish. "I can take this no more!"
Finally in desperation, Emma summoned all her magic. Water, she thought. She imagined it pouring rain. She felt the cool drops in her mind. She remembered the smell of moist, cool air accompanying a shower.
Then it happened. It rained.
Hook flopped in the water, laughing maniacally. "Yes! Behold the blessed, life-saving rain! Glory be!"
Emma laughed, first in shock, then with deep relief. "Why the hell didn't I do that a month ago?"
"It matters not, Love," he said, crawling to her. "You are a marvel."
She chuckled and they kissed as they were drenched in the cool, refreshing downpour.
"Let's go below deck," she said.
"I will not! I shall not desert this marvelous squall!"
She laughed. "It's a nice, calm shower, Killian, hardly a storm. Besides, I have an...urge...that needs to be attended to."
He smirked. "Let us see to it here."
"I told you, we're in public. I'm not an exhibitionist."
With a flirty, toothy grin, he said, "I believe I may in fact, be one."
She laughed. "Yeah."
"Very well, Love. How about some fog then, to accompany this lovely rain?" he asked, smirking. "Perhaps, limit the concealing mist to around the Roger?"
She smirked back. "I like how you think," she said, summoning a thick fog.
The rain continued to pour, bringing relief to all the residents of Storybrooke. A few commented on the strange mist blocking the spot where they knew the pirate ship was anchored.
Inside the vaporous shield, a frisky couple fully enjoyed their pirate ship.
The End