A/n: hi welcome to my fic i do not own Noblesse nor the characters whatsoever

& also this is pure crack (and not necessarily gay) you have been warned

It was supposed to be the perfect Sunday morning; no work, no meddling children, no extra dishes to clean up, and he gets to wake up later than usual. He already had the whole day planned out – from the moment he rose awake to the second he closed his eyes at nightfall. But instead, as he was standing in front of the bathroom mirror getting ready to start the day, he felt his throat clenching and as he took a short intake of breath, a tiny noise followed.

It was a strange, yet familiar sensation that he thought he'd forgotten, but he hadn't. M-21 stared at his bewildered reflection at the mirror when it happened again – louder this time. This had never happened to him before, not that he remembered or anything, but it wasn't exactly foreign; it was just… upsetting.

He placed a hand on his chest and watched as his shoulders rose up every time his breath hitched, followed by a low growl deep in his throat. Even though he knew what a hiccup was, he had no idea how to cure it – and he'd rather die than to take a step outside in his current condition.

It was then when the bathroom door swung open, and behind it was Tao, still in his sleeping attire and unfortunately – the last person M-21 wanted to see at the moment.

He could feel the weight of stares pushing him down further into the couch, but he didn't budge. Not even when Rael sent him a mixed look between pity and disgust. The homeowner – Frankenstein – was nowhere to be seen, and it wasn't all that surprising, to be honest.

"What's wrong with him?" Rael finally asked, sounding baffled.

M-21 opened his mouth, but the only thing escaping his lips was a small, choked noise. The nobles around him were trying not to look so startled.

"This is called hiccup," Tao supplied casually with a smile, and for once, M-21 was grateful for his existence and his obnoxious talking skill. "It's what happens when your diaphragm – in which is a muscle in your chest that plays a role in breathing – tightens."

Regis looked over at M-21, his eyebrows pulled together. "He's not going to die, is he?" He asked quietly, and right next to him, Seira's expression darkened. Both Tao and Takeo shared a confounded look before laughter bubbled up inside of Tao's chest.

"No, of course! Hiccup is a common occurrence for humans! It's not at all dangerous!" He explained. Regis raised his brows and actually looked a little relieved. M-21 would be lying if he said he doesn't find it cute at all. "But, in some cases, a hiccup can last up to a few months – or even years. And naturally, yeah, it'd be deadly."

The three young nobles turned their head sharply towards Tao, looking more tense than before, whilst Raizel finally lifted his gaze from his cup.

"Y – Years?!"

Takeo exhaled loudly, but Tao didn't stop talking. "Yep! The longest one can last up to seventy years!"

M-21 grimaced at the thought. And hiccupped. He grunted afterward. It had only been about five minutes and already he couldn't stand it – whoever that person is they deserved an award for putting up with this infuriating circumstance for seventy years of their life.

"That sounded… exasperating." Karias hummed, frowning.

With a resigned smile, Tao shrugged. "Because it is!"

Regis didn't blink, not even once, and kept his eyes at M-21; wary and concerned. Seira gave him an assuring pat at the shoulder before turning to face Tao, who was sitting opposite of her. "Have you ever experience this before?"

The guy shook his head and smiled apologetically. "Nope, never. I mean – not that I could recall or anything." He said, before bringing his attention to the guy standing behind him. "How about you, Takeo?"

Takeo mimicked his gesture. "I'm the same."

"Then why – hic – " M-21's speech was cut short and he retracted his hand back, leaning back against the cushion in shame. "Why me," He grumbled lowly, pushing his weight into the sofa.

"Well, there are many scientific explanations as to why hiccup happens but it's hard to pinpoint it exactly and since you're not that much of a human anymore…" Tao trailed off, tilting his head to the side and hummed. "I'm afraid without the boss here, there's nothing much I can say,"

"What happens if it lasts for years then?" Rael exclaimed, standing up from where he was seated. "Wouldn't he just be a burden for us?" He pointed at M-21, who shot him a glare.

Takeo frowned and took a step forward, but Tao raised one of his hands, signaling him to stop. From the way the corner of his lips twitched upwards, it was clear that he was trying to hold back a laughter – not that the nobles could notice. M-21 did though, and he sulked deeper. "That's the worst scenario, yes. But we don't know yet." Tao said calmingly.

Takeo sighed, folding his arms in front of his chest. "I can't believe we're arguing about hiccup," he whispered, but no one seemed to pay any attention to him as they were too busy observing the tiny noises emitting from M-21. It didn't last long, however, as Raizel finally put down his cup down at the coffee table, all eyes were on him.

He was as stoic, as expressionless as usual, with his ruby red eyes set on M-21. "Is there no way to cure it?" As he spoke, no one dares to raise their voice, except for Tao.

Tao clapped his hands together in front of him, eyes gleaming like a child on Christmas eve. "Of course there are! And I happen to know some of it!"

"Then – " Regis gritted his teeth and glared at Tao's direction. "Why didn't you say so?!"

"I was waiting for the right moment!" Tao quipped before getting up. "Anyway, M-21, c'mon let's start your treatment!" He circled the sofa and walked towards the wall, as M-21 raised from his seat suspiciously.

"What do you – hic," he swallowed, " – want me to do?"

"Here," Tao patted the wall with his hand. "I need you to stand on your head while reciting the whole alphabet. Backward."

What.

"What?"

Tao wasn't smiling, but his eyes were. It was obvious to both Takeo and M-21 that he was thoroughly enjoying this. "You heard me,"

The nobles were staring at M-21 with a fixed look, as if waiting for his response. Even that mouthy brat Rael was unable to come out with any witty insult. The silence was unbearable – putting a heavyweight on his shoulders.

"I am not doing that," He growled gravely, followed by another hiccup. A pause, as everyone stopped talking altogether. Raizel picked his cup once again to take a sip of his tea.

"Figures!" After a while, Tao actually had the audacity to laugh, and M-21 felt like punching him through the wall. Repeatedly. "Don't worry, I have another solution. Takeo, could you fetch me the sugar? And a spoon too."

"Why me…"

"Please?"

With a quiet huff, Takeo resignedly walked towards the kitchen area, rummaging through the cabinets for a jar of sugar and a table spoon. He gave it to Tao, who accepted it gracefully before making his way to a cautious-looking M-21. He opened jar and scoop a spoonful of sugar as M-21 watched in complete horror.

"This should do the trick." He placed the jar down at the table before focusing on the man in front of him. "Now open wide."

"What – what the – "

Regis suddenly jumped to his feet, his face all scrunched up. "Are you certain this sort of treatment would heal him back? This looks nothing but drivel to me,"

Tao turned his face at the noble and smiled politely. "Oh but of course. You don't have to worry about his wellbeing – he's in good hand."

"Fucking – hic – doubt that." M-21 murmured, but Regis backed down, even when the uncertainty still clear in his eyes.

"Uh, come on, be good why don't you?" Tao groaned, but M-21 still refused to open his mouth and kept on pulling his face back. In his last resort, he grabbed M-21's cheeks using his free hand, forced his mouth open, and shoved the spoon inside.

It backfired.

As soon as the spoon entered his mouth, the sweetness stung him and M-21 gagged, resulting him to spew the sugar out onto Tao's face, with spit dripping down to the table.

Both Rael and Regis gawked inelegantly, mouth parted open and eyes wide in disbelief, with Takeo ducking his head down and sighed as if he'd foreseen this. Seira, of course, had no change in her expression whatsoever except for the way she blinked her eyes excessively.

Karias chuckled into his hand, breaking down the heavy silence. "Well, that obviously didn't work."

And it didn't, because M-21's hiccup only got worse. It got faster, and louder, and he'd kill just to make it fucking stop.

Tao, who was stilled because of shock, finally laughed – dryly. "Yeah, it didn't." Using his sleeve, he wiped his face clean. "Don't worry, the next one is bound to work,"

M-21 bared his teeth at him, and god how he wished Frankenstein would just show up. Any, time, now. At least he'd know what to do. Probably. "I don't trust – hic – you,"

"You have to, I'm your comrade." Tao reasoned, rubbing his face with his palms. "And I don't really feel like explaining to the boss on how you get your spit down at his table,"

M-21, having enough of the bullshit, grabbed Tao by his collar and hauled him up violently. "It's your fucking fault – " he hiccupped and coughed, shaking Tao in the process.

"I'm just trying to help!"

"Well it's – hic – not helping!"

"Fine!" Tao pushed his face forward, closing in into M-21. "All you need to do now is to kiss me!"

There was a sound of something snapped.

Well that certainly caught Raizel's attention. He peeked from behind the rim of his cup, raising his eyebrows. M-21 let go of his grip on Tao's shirt almost instinctively and pushed the dark-haired guy away. He stumbled backward a little before finally regaining his footing.

Regis tensed immediately next to M-21, and so did Takeo, who was looking at Tao in shock.

"I'd – I'd rather die," M-21 said simply, looking down at Tao in utter repulsion.

"It's just a kiss! Stop acting like a damn virgin!"

"Wa – wait –" Regis jumped in between them, his eyes darting from Tao to M-21 restlessly. "Kissing has nothing to do with healing him!"

"It does," Tao said. "It's the last treatment I could think of, and the easiest one to boot."

"B – but – " Somehow, Regis' face grew redder by the passing second as he lost the ability to form any coherent sentence, being nonplussed.

"None of this makes sense!" Rael muttered to no one in particular. He grew tired of these idiots around him. Just like M-21 did long ago.

"Yeah? Well I ain't – hic – kissing you," He said and hiccupped. "Not in a million years."

Tao graced him with a brief glance, before shifting his gaze at Regis. "You kiss him then," He said casually. As if what he wasn't particularly care who's kissing who. As if he was asking for a regular, everyday favor.

At that moment, Regis instantly froze, the tip of his ears was as red as his neck.

M-21's jaws fell, and he growled, "Are you – " but was cut off by Rael's shouting.

"Are you out of your mind?! And why would Regis do such shameless thing as that?!"

Karias' brows shot up and he smiled in amusement. It's not every day he'd get to see Rael so flustered and trying to back Regis up.

Tao shrugged, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Oh, it's not like they'd never done that before,"

Now it was M-21's turn to freeze. He might not blush as blatantly like Regis did, but there was still a hint of pink on his cheeks that Tao couldn't help but notice. He smiled even wider.

"Or Takeo here could help, it's not like you have anything against him, right?"

"What – "

"Fine!"

Regis' voice caught the whole room's attention, as they all shifted their eyes on him. The kid was clenching his fists so tight, it looked it might break.

"Fine, I'll do it!" Regis exclaimed once more, just to be sure that everybody got his point across. They sure as hell did, because now all of them looked flabbergasted, including Tao himself. (maybe not Raizel, because well, he's Raizel.)

M-21 blinked, still hiccupping loudly, but it didn't really bother him anymore. Not as much as Regis' declaration. "Wha… What are you – hic – saying?"

"It's just a kiss. It couldn't hurt." Regis reasoned, but still won't look him in the eye. "Besides, you would risk your life to save mine without a second thought, it's only fair to help you in your time of need,"

M-21 couldn't argue with that. With a resigned sigh, he nodded obediently. "S – Sure, if you don't mind, - hic – I mean." He crouched down to Regis' level, though the noble was still a wee bit reluctant to turn his head to face him. M-21 braced himself, but not before shooting a dangerous glare at his friend, Tao. "If this doesn't work… you're – hic – dead."

Tao chuckled. "It didn't sound that threatening with all your cute hiccups,"

Tao's words were drowning inside of M-21's head, sounding no more than white noises at the background as he looked at the noble right in front of him, eyes red and clouded with doubts. No, he told himself that this wouldn't work, he knew he was playing right into Tao's hand because mind you, unlike these weird vampires around him he still had a working common sense, but – what is it with this almost-200 years old kid and his tempting gaze?! If he didn't know any better he'd just go for it, but there was a pang of guilt inside of his chest – because even though he knew Tao was sprouting bullshit everywhere and he knew just how thick-headed this noble was, he hadn't made any sign of protest.

It's because the hiccup is annoying. Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that. If his consciousness had eyes it'd be rolling them right now. Pitiful.

He was so lost in deep, irrelevant thought that he didn't realize when a cold, pair of lips were pressing against his own, softly, but unsure. His eyes shot open, and just as his mind finally register on what the fuck was going on, Regis had already drawn his face back, looking anywhere but him.

"Uh," He breathed, and as he was expecting the hiccup to come back, – any second now – it didn't.

There was a pause – a moment of comfortable stillness when everybody refused to speak, not until Regis opened his mouth ever so hesitantly. "S – So?" He was still had his face to the side though, not that M-21 was about to complain.

M-21 swallowed after what it felt like an eternity. "It's gone,"

There was a clanking sound as Raizel put his empty cup down, followed with a sigh of relieved from Takeo. The tension seemed to disappeared slowly into the air, and M-21 stood up.

Tao, with a conceited smile on his face, tumbled down into the couch behind him and wriggled his brows. "See? Told ya it'd work~" He teased. "Now how about we clean this mess up before boss gets home?"

"We?" The sound came from behind Regis. Rael snorted, if he was annoyed back then, he looked completely and utterly infuriated right now. "How about you clean this mess up before Frankenstein gets home," and with that he made his way to the hallway, not even bothering to give the group a single glance.

Takeo shifted, tapping his index finger against his chin. "That sounded reasonable enough,"

Tao turned his head around sharply, feeling he had been betrayed. "Eh? You're kidding right?"

M-21 was still lost in thought, hand travelling up and down his throat even when Regis finally lift his head. "It's a good bargain, actually. It was your idea in the first place, was it not?" The noble said evenly, his stare cold and distant.

"I mean, we could just tell him it was your doing." M-21 said, but in spite of everything, still looked distracted.

"Ah." Raizel, who was quiet the entire time, suddenly raised his head as if he came to realize something. Apparently it was followed by the sound of their front door unlocking.

Almost immediately, everyone turned their heads towards the entrance as the air grew cold.

"Well then," Regis exhaled through his nose and dusted off his thighs, gracing Tao with a brief glance. "I wish you the best of luck,"