Title: Before I leave…
Summary: The war is starting and Sanosuke knows he has to leave, but before he goes he wants to see his love one last time…MINOR lemon, don't like; don't read.
Pairing: Sanosuke Harada x Kasumi (DOA)
Rated: M for lemon (sexual contact)
Disclaimer: The characters from Hakuouki and DOA do not belong to me, although I wish they did. The boys from Hakouki are to die for!
Note: I fell in love with this game the minute I saw the box cover! The characters are adorable and plot line was so cute. It's hard to pick which one is your favorite. Okay I decided to take one of the scenes from Sanosuke Harada's plot line because it was cute.
Okay so no more delay, let's get reading! I kind of left this story on the back burner but the plot is done and waiting to be read!
Hope you enjoyed the game (if you played it) and I hope you enjoy this one-shot!
Before I leave…
*Sanosuke Harada; First P.O.V *
As usual it was like any other night at the Shinsengumi Headquarters. But it wasn't just like the other nights, oh no, we were celebrating our last moments alive. I know, it sounds harsh, but we are samurai and we could die at any moment. We were heading off to war tomorrow and we thought, what the hell, might as well live it up before we face it.
Hijikata suggested we don't go overboard, but Shinpachi saw no point. Okita and Saito were out on patrol so as normal that left me, Shinpachi, and Heisuke.
Shinpachi ended up buying three bottles of sake and surprisingly, my lips never touched one. I may have been hanging out with them, but my mind was somewhere else. Don't get me wrong, I was having fun, but I was worried thinking about her…
Being his usual self, Shinpachi was past the limit he could handle and Heisuke only had a couple sips, but probably because Shinpachi was teasing him and putting the bottle of his reach. Now normally I would object to the kid's drinking, but he was with responsible adults.
"You gotta work harder if you want some," I heard Shinpachi say, putting the bottle high in the air while his other hand was mushing the kid in the face, holding him back. "Give it here, you old bastard!"
Forget what I just said, it's obvious who the responsible one is here.
With my back against the wall, I put my knee up to rest my arm there. I was looking outside, tuning my friends out and their ridiculous fighting. I couldn't help but think about her. What was she doing? Was she already waiting for me? What was she wearing?
My best friend finally noticed my silence and called for me, "Hey!"
I looked at him, "What?"
His face changed expression, the pink blush across his face definitely showing how far gone he was. He pointed a wobbly finger at me before answering, "Don't you what me, I know exactly what you're doing. You're thinkin' about that girl again, huh? What was her name again…Kasumi, right?"
Heisuke forgot about his little struggle and pitched in, "Hey, that's right. Aren't you going to go see her?"
As much as I tried to keep it a secret, these two ended up finding out about her, which kind of isn't surprising since we go everywhere together. Then again if Kasumi didn't stop by sometimes maybe that would have dropped hints too. When Shinpachi found out, he immediately told Heisuke, like a happy school girl about my crush.
The young samurai was going to tell everybody, but I advised him not too. The last thing I needed was Hijikata finding out and chewing me out about how samurai's can't have a life like that. Doesn't he think I already know that? I feel bad enough dragging someone like her into my mess of a life.
I sighed before replying, turning my head back towards outside, "Yeah, pretty soon actually."
Shinpachi then crossed his legs, indicating to me he was getting serious. That was his serious move, but I couldn't take him seriously with that blush on his face and his words coming out all funky.
He put down his bottle and leaned forward, "Are you going to tell her?"
"What?" Heisuke asked; his legs crossed too with his hands holding his ankles, "You haven't told her? Are you serious Sano?"
I closed my eyes, the feeling of guiltiness washing over me again, "No, I haven't…"
"Well aren't you?" Heisuke asked.
"The boy's right," my best friend agreed, crossing his arms over his chest, "No woman likes not being told anything. You can't just up and leave, dude. She deserves to know the truth."
I took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of my nose and rubbing my eyes, "I know that. I've tried to tell her, but I don't want to see the look on her face…"
Shinpachi rubbed his chin thoughtful, plotting something in his head, "Why not tell her tonight? I mean sure its last minute, but hell, better she knew then not at all."
I knew his was right. The guilt would eat away at me if I didn't tell her and I definitely don't need to be distracted on the battlefield, "Okay, fine, I'll tell her tonight."
"You better go now then, before it gets any later," Heisuke said, "We'll cover for you."
I stood, still trying to convince myself telling her the truth was the right thing to do, "Thanks guys. I'll see you later. Enjoy the rest of your two man party."
Shinpachi stood with me, smiling like the dork he was and patted my shoulder, "That's my boy. Hey one more thing before you go." He leaned in closer, throwing his arm around my shoulder and pulling me towards him, "Have you…you know…rocked her world yet?"
I did my best and pretended to not hear him, pushing him away from me and putting a bottle of sake in his hand. I hope he gets a crazy hangover and has Hijikata chewing his ear off; what a dangerous combination. I said goodbye to my drunken friend and left Heisuke in charge, it was sad to say, but that boy was more accountable than he was at times.
I left the Shinsengumi, pretty late this time and traveled through the streets of Kyoto; the path to our hideout embedded in my mind. As I walked I couldn't help but ponder to myself what is was I was going to do. I know I should tell her, but I wasn't sure if I could face what comes after that. It wasn't possible she would break-up with me, but in a way I kind of wanted her too.
I found it funny how someone like her could fall in love with someone like me. She was a Princess actually; a very popular one at that. Her family was very well known and someone like her could have anyone she wanted and yet she chose me; a lone wolf. She didn't see it like that though. She wasn't like the others in her family who owned up to the respect and honor. She meets their demands, but chooses things on her own and she said there isn't anyone she'd rather be with.
Of course I'm happy, but I feel guilty…
Just like Hijikata once said, "There's no romance in a samurai's life." And I completely agree with him, but why do I still have her? It would have been easier if things ended back then, but I couldn't see myself without her sometimes. And now I have to tell her I'm leaving and possibly might not come back? Yeah, that'll be easy to say…
I found our little secret shed, stepping inside and closing the door behind me. I was debating whether or not to just leave and pretend I was never here, but I owe her at least this much for staying by me so long. She was a sensitive girl, but a strong one too; a quality about her I fell in love with.
She was already inside, laying a futon down on the floor. Honestly our shed wasn't much, just a tiny structure with four walls and a roof and enough room to move around; all that was really inside was a dresser and mirror. I stopped infront of my reflection, taking a deep sigh and telling myself I can do this, "That's a pretty big futon."
She left out a gasp, covering her heart and shaking her head, "You scared me, I didn't even see you come in." She took a deep breath and then smiled up at me, "Do you like it? I figured it'd be better to sit on something soft then the wood floor."
I only nodded, trying to figure out what I would say and so far…? I had nothing…
Kasumi finished setting up the futon, running her hand over the fabric before standing up and dusting off her kimono. She walked over to me, gently placing a kiss on my cheek and looking to observe the view, "Maybe it is a bit too big…?"
"It's perfect," I cut in, "The floor looks much more comfy." She laughed to my choice of words, "I'm glad you like it, maybe we can add…" She continued to talk about adding more stuff to the shed, but I thought why bother? I'm probably going to die anyway…
I know its negative thinking, but that's just how it is. My life could end any minute; I should go without taking anything with me. And that was the truth, if I didn't tell Kasumi now; I would carry the guilt for eternity. I'd rather break her heart now then live with that. Besides I can't offer her much…she deserves someone better then me…
"Kasumi."
"What is it?" She answered, looking at them with her beautiful orange eyes. When I looked, my heart and breathing stopped; I was paralyzed. Looking into her soft eyes I saw it, I saw everything I wanted. She was so sweet, so gentle; I couldn't bring tears to her face, I couldn't hurt her. I felt selfish, but I wanted her to be there. I wanted her to be here when I came back. I wanted the life I always imagined of and Kasumi was in it. She was the girl who took my heart and would forever hold onto it. Honestly, it would break me to a million pieces if she wasn't by my side anymore.
Without evening realizing it, I took her to the ground, my frame hovering above hers and trapping her hands beside her head. I stared into her shocked eyes, my lips opening, but nothing coming out. I observed her face, my lips so close to hers, dying to have a taste.
"You think I'm pathetic don't you?" I asked suddenly, thinking to myself how stupid I must look. Here I was desperately trying to hold onto my dream, knowing it would never come true. Her face immediately softened, a sweet smile curling on her lips, "Why would you think that? If anything I want to give you everything you want."
My body reacted and instantly I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted her, I wanted all of her.
"Are you scared?" I asked, whispering the words over her quivering lips. She bit her bottom lip, lightly pushing her hips up into mine, "A little, but happy…if anything. Harada, I…" I shushed her, untying the yellow ribbon in her orange hair and watched the strands paint the futon.
"Sanosuke…" I whispered to her.
*Third P.O.V*
He instantly captured her lips, pressing his firmly against hers afraid to let go. All he could think about is her and before the end of the night, he planned to give everything of him to her, bounding them together. It was a selfish act and he knew that but she meant the world to him. A life without her was no life at all.
She kissed him back, her hand smoothly over his cheek affectionately. Was she nervous? Of course, but she was positive Sanosuke was the one and she was ready to give anything to him. He was her rock and despite the life he lived, a life without him was no life at all.
He looked into her sincere carrot eyes and saw everything he needed; her love, her passion, her affection…and all of it was for him. He didn't think he deserved it, but he was the luckiest guy in the world.
He brought his hand to the sash on her pink kimono and untied her outfit, revealing her creamy skin underneath. Kasumi sat up, helping him remove her clothing; bra and underwear included, his hands sweeping the fabric from her shoulders and caressing the skin sweetly. It vanished to another part of the room, neither of them caring were.
The girl hesitated at first but moved closer to her lover, undoing the knot to this shirt and pulling it off his strong shoulders. His honey gaze was melting her insides, the heat rushing to her face as well as other parts of her body. Sanosuke helped removed his bottoms, every inch of his skin for her to see. The thoughts of what they were about to do flooded her mind and she blushed even more making Sanosuke smile, but he promised to take care of her as best as he could.
She returned his smile and reached behind his head; letting his gorgeous red-brown hair fall on his shoulders. He was really the handsomest guy she ever saw.
Sanosuke put a hand to her chest and pushed her down, covering his body with hers and staring into her orange eyes. There was no way he was stopping now. He needed her, needed to feel her under him and calling his name.
He gently kissed her lips, massaging them perfectly and settled himself between her legs, softly rubbing their bodies together, the friction spreading the heat inside of them. He ran his tongue along her lower lip and without hesitant, she opened her mouth, his organ slipping inside and tasting every corner he could touch. Kasumi slid her palms across his upper back, feeling every muscle and taking note of them. His tongue pushed against hers and pulled hers out, dancing with hers in such a passionate kiss.
He pulled away and kissed down her jawline, going to her neck and teasing the skin. She turned her head for him, running her nails up and down his back, the small sensation tickling his insides. His mouth fastened to her neck and kissed, sucked, and licked everywhere, finding her sweet spot from the moan she released. He had no doubt in his mind he was going to leave a mark for that was his plan after all. He attached himself to her delicate spot, her body rubbing against him from the sudden pleasure. He sucked hard, licking and kissing the skin before it turned a dark red.
He left as many as he could, his plan to make sure her skin was painted with them. He knew exactly what he was doing, but he didn't care anymore. He made up his mind and so did she. He was going to give her everything, making sure he was embedded. His body yearned for hers, just as much as hers called for his and he was going to make sure they both felt that incredible pleasure.
Afterwards being the teddy bear that he was Sanosuke wrapped Kasumi in his strong arms before she could sit up, pulling her back onto his chest. The girl only smiled, loving how his warmth hugged her body. Sanosuke had to admit, he was being a bit clingy right now, but the way her skin felt against him was like fire; burning and hot. He would feel empty if she was not there.
The girl loved how attached he was but slid off his frame to lie on his side. Sanosuke grabbed the sheets, laying them on top of their naked forms. Kasumi scooted closer to him, a hand on his strong chest. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, making sure she was glued to his side. His warmth was comforting, the girl closing her eyes and listening to his steady heartbeat.
Sanosuke had his fingers brush her arm repeatedly, his thoughts a bit jumbled. She would find it ridiculous, but he felt a little guilty. He chuckled aloud before saying, "I feel a bit bad."
"Hm?" she asked, inhaling a long breath of air.
"About this," he answered, "about the sex we just had." His words made her turn her head, her chin resting over his heart, "Why do you say that?"
Sanosuke smiled to himself, rubbing her shoulder, "I acted without thought, only emotion. Tackling you to the ground and pouring them out to you. As I looked into your beautiful orange eyes my mind was screaming at me, saying 'I have to have her! I have to have her! I have to have her!' over and over again. I knew I couldn't control myself, even if I asked you if it was okay, I still felt…"
Kasumi did not let him finish. She grabbed his chin and latched her lips onto his, kissing him deeply. Sanosuke was left stunned by her action, but instantly kissed her back, his arms around her; one in her hair.
He hated the fact he felt remorseful, but he also hated the fact how he would give in so easily. Was it a crime to give in? Was it bad he couldn't let go? Was it bad he felt the way he did? There was no romance in a samurai's life, so why the hell would he pull her into it.
The repentance washed over him, but he couldn't let go. He had to…no needed to have her. He loved the feeling he got when she was around. Honestly, he could say that she was his other half.
Her lips twisted over his before pulling away; kissing him one last time since his soft lips were magnets. Kasumi gazed down at him, her finger tracing his kissable lips before lying on his cheek. Sanosuke pasted a hand on her back, the other grabbing the hand that was on his face, stroking the skin sweetly, "You think it's dumb, don't you?"
She smiled, kissed him and then answered, "Not dumb, but childish. Did you see how I reacted? Did you hear how I sounded?"
"Yeah, but," he began to say before Kasumi cut him off, not wanting to hear her lover talk just yet, "Why do you feel so guilty? I'm glad we just had sex. You showed me how much you cared. We both expressed those feelings, letting our minds, bodies, and souls intertwine and become one. You acted on emotion, nothing is wrong with that."
Sanosuke was deeply touched by her words but knew she had no idea what she was getting herself into. He laid a hand on her cheek and chuckled, "Do you even know what you're saying?" His words felt like an insult, but before she could, he continued.
"I can't make you happy Kasumi. In fact you shouldn't be involved with me. Remember my dream? It's nothing but a fantasy. A wife shouldn't have to worry about her husband coming home every day, seeing him like it's his last moment alive. I am a Captain of the Shinsengumi; my life is always put on the line. I don't want to put you through that…"
Immediately she replied, "I don't care about that!" Her voice was full of sorrow and sadness. When Sanosuke felt water drip on his chest, he realized she was crying. Kasumi held his hand and rubbed her face into his palm; Sanosuke knew exactly what she was going to say.
"All I care about is being by your side. I fell in love with Sanosuke Harada, but I can accept the responsibility and duty you have as the Captain of the tenth division of the Shinsengumi. I accept it and everything that comes with it. It'd break my heart if you died, but knowing I can't see even alive would break me even more. Your last day might be tomorrow, but I don't care, it's the time I spent and spend with you now that means so much to me."
Her tears were falling from her face like a waterfall. She kissed his palm before continuing, "So please…please…don't regret this…don't regret us…don't regret me…"
Her words tore away at his heart and in seconds he was sitting up, holding her shaking body in his arms tightly, his chin resting on her shoulder, "Don't say that." He changed their positions, setting her down and hovered above hers. His honey eyes, full of sorrow, poured into her carrot ones. He couldn't bear to see her cry anymore, to hear her talk like she was worth nothing to him when it truth it was the opposite.
"I will never regret any of this. I love you with every fiber of my being just as much as you love me. You're right, every second counts now and I want to spend all my time with you."
He didn't give her a chance to speak; instead he wrapped her leg around his waist and easily slid himself back into her heat, burying himself to the hilt. A sweet scream erupted from her throat, her fingers fisting the white sheet into her hand; a pleasurable surprise. His thrusts were hard and filling, making sure each time her body took all of him.
But…it wasn't enough. No matter how many times he moved and heard her scream it just wasn't enough.
Surprising her again, Sano hoisted her frame up, bouncing her on his crossed legs with the help of his firm hands. Her hands clung onto his shoulders, crying out his name repeatedly; his cock going in faster and deeper.
"That's right Kasumi," he said between his own pants, his honey eyes looking over her face, "That's all I want you to say for the rest of the night." He threw his hips up restlessly, knocking into her spot and maxing out the tone of her voice. Sanosuke had a new objective in mind and it was to make sure Kasumi knew exactly how he felt; to know she meant the world to him and she would always.
Before he had to leave he was going to make sure he was embedded in her: mind, body, and soul.
Kasumi did her best to keep up with him, his wild hips driving her insane. It felt absolutely amazing; she was sure it would be a while before she walked again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, moaning into his ear, her hot breath teasing, "I love you, Sanosuke."
He smiled, her words warming his heart to the fullest, "And that…I definitely want to hear that. I love you too, Kasumi."
*The Next Morning*
Sanosuke yawned aloud as Hijikata was giving a rundown of their mission. He was listening, but maybe not paying attention. Thoughts of yesterday replayed in his head and he couldn't help but feel guilty.
That's right, he didn't tell her.
Not that he forgot he just didn't want to ruin the perfect moment.
She looked absolutely beautiful lying next to him after their session, her body revealing the marks he left. He was going to tell her after, but he was too tired and he had to save the rest of his energy for war. They probably shouldn't have fallen asleep around three in the morning, since he had to leave three hours later, but he regretted nothing. His goal was to make sure he was embedded in her mind, body, and soul, and he was positive he did that.
He yawned again, leaning on his weapon and tried to listen. He caught his best friend's attention, who smiled at him and nudged his arm, "Someone had a long night. Did you make a good performance? I bet she can't even walk." Sanosuke laughed with him, thinking it would be surprising if she could; he could barely stay awake, himself.
"Any questions?" Hijikata asked, looking at each and every one of his men. They all shook their heads, understanding perfectly clear what their mission was. He continued to talk, but Sanosuke tuned him out, letting his need for sleep get the better of him. He knew Hijikata talked a lot, but never this much! His words were putting him to sleep!
He yawned aloud again and tried his best to hide it, ignoring Shinpachi when he laughed at him.
"Sanosuke!" called a voice.
Automatically he recognized that voice and turned to its direction, his eyes growing wide when he saw who it was. Kasumi was running down the path, waving her hand at him. The others stopped to look too, wondering what she was doing.
When she reached him, she stopped to catch her breath, gulping down the cool air. Sanosuke looked down at her, not sure what to say, "Kasumi? What are you…?"
She cut him off with a slap to the face, the smack echoing from the impact; leaving the others gasp to what they just witnessed.
"Does this mean they broke up?" Heisuke whispered to Saito.
Sanosuke knew he deserved that, but before he could reply, she grabbed his face and kissed him deeply, her lips tangling with his.
"Nope," Okita answered, putting a hand on the young samurai's shoulder.
Sanosuke kissed her back of course, just as shocked as the others when she pulled away and looked him straight in the eye, "Um…what was that for?"
Her upset face changed to deep concern, her eyes glossy from the tears that were about to come, "Were you at least going to tell me that you were leaving?"
This time it was Shinpachi to smack on him on the arm, "You didn't tell her?" Sanosuke glared back at him, rubbing the spot on his arm before turning back to her and answering, "How did you know about that?"
She smiled lightly, doing her best to hold back the tears, "One of your friends told me." Harada looked back at his best friend, but was surprised when he shook his head no. He then looked towards Heisuke but he gave the same reply. Then who could have told her? When he looked towards Hijikata's face, he saw the tiny smile and knew the answer.
"You have five minutes," he said, turning his back to them, "make it quick." Okita was the first to tease him, throwing his arm around him as they walked forward. Saito gave her a bow before the leaving, the boys doing the same and joining the others.
Sanosuke smiled to himself, grateful to his commander for giving him the chance to see her one more before he left.
"I'm sorry," he said first, "I should have told you." "Yeah, you should have," she replied, wiping her tears away and walking closer to him, "why didn't you though?"
Harada bit his lip nervously, smoothing his hand over her cheek, "I just didn't want to see you so upset. I thought it would be good if our relationship was over. There's chance I might come back…"
"And I know that," she answered, rubbing her face into the warmth of his palm, "but I already told you, until I hear Sanosuke Harada is dead, I am not leaving your side. I love you." Her genuine words touched his heart deeply. He leaned his weapon against the wall and cupped her face, his thumbs stroking her skin, "And I love you too." He leaned his forward on hers, enjoying every second he had with her, "I'm being selfish, but promise you'll be here if I return."
She smiled, "I do. Promise to meet me at the spot when you do return." Her confidence in him gave him all the more reason to stay alive. She looked devotedly into his eyes and gently kissed the inside of his palm, displaying her affection.
His heart leapt and instantly he fastened his mouth to hers, kissing her tenderly and sincerely, pouring every inch of emotion he had. She returned his sweet caress, pushing her lips against his with the same passion, knowing it would while before she would see him again.
He kissed her one last time before letting her go, giving her smile, grabbing his weapon and leaving with the Shinsengumi. He glanced back one more, seeing her tears, but still a sweet smile on her face. That was his reason to keep living; he made a promise and he was going to keep it.
A couple years later…
Kasumi rubbed the petals to her plant, rearrange the design and stroking the soft leaves. It was a breezy, perfect day and it was around the time she visited her secret spot again. Ever since Sanosuke left, she did as she promised, stopping by every day and waiting for a period of time hoping he would return.
She came up with the idea of fixing the place; it was a pretty dull brown shack. She didn't want him coming home to that. She wasn't doing anything major, she made it a little bigger and painted the inside and out, giving it a brighter color. She stuffed the inside with a gigantic futon, covering much of the floor, along with keeping the dresser there.
She placed fresh new flowers there every day, cleaning the mirror and making sure the place was spotless. Today she thought bright red roses would be perfect, she remembered Sanosuke saying something about how much he liked them.
Arriving at the shack, she opened the door and took off her shoes, surprised to see another pair there. She thought it was odd, but she did have a servant come and help her, and figured they were here.
She brushed off the feeling and opening the main door, halting in her tracks. There was a man standing by the mirror, his face was down, and his fingers were tracing the dresser. She stood as silent as possible, questioning who this person was.
He was tall with short reddish brown hair; his clothes were western, black and white. She wished she could see his face, those small descriptions only jogging some of her memory.
Was it possible she thought? Was it who she thought it was?
She took a step forward, the creak of the floorboards catching the man's attention and making him turning around. Kasumi gasped, his honey colored eyes soft and sweet, gazing into hers. He smiled, the curve of his lips, tugging at her heart and bringing tears to her auburn eyes.
His smile grew bigger, she was beautiful just as he remembered, "I see you've been redecorating."
The sound of his voice confirmed her doubt and in seconds Kasumi dropped the basket of flowers, running to him and flying into his arms. Her lips found his instantly, the tears streaming down her face from the familiar feeling.
He kissed her back, bending over her when he placed her feet back on the floor. She was still shorter than him. Her hands were clutching the front of shirt, while his arm snaked around her waist and his hand pressed to her cheek, holding her close to him. She kissed him affectionately; afraid he would vanish the minute she pulled away.
But he was real. He was standing right infront of her, holding her tight and returning her affection with the same amount. It was real; nothing about it was an illusion.
He was home. Sanosuke Harada, the man she loved had returned.
Oh, the plans I had for this story. You have no idea how hard it was to delete paragraphs and make it all flow together. I wrote this story out in different sections, leaving the lemon for last. I got a little detailed in the beginning, but cut it off. And I just left that little piece of a lemon in there. Already wrote it out and wasn't going to change.
Still it's not that bad. I think the romance covers it up and makes you wanna cry. Still I had an Okita x Hijitake idea, but that's not going to happen anymore.
I'm really watching my steps, but there's nothing wrong with getting a little detailed is there?
Still I hope you enjoyed this story and I will see you guys around!