The first day their away i tried to push the pain of their absence away but my chest aches with emptiness however none of that matters because when Bonnie lingers around to keep me company at school it becomes easier to ignore or forget the pain. In the evening we watch films, eat junk food and act like we did way back when Caroline was free to still hang out with us. She's off acting all loved up with Matt but i'm happy for them because we've all been through so much pain and i'm just glad their happy, they deserve it after everything with vicky. When we decide to sleep at two in the morning since it's thursday and we do have school i lead her to my room where i exhale a puff of breath, changing in to our PJ's one after the other we crawl in to the queen sized bed that has duck feather pillows and a mattress to die for. The next day at school the hole in my chest comes back with a vengeance and since Bonnie isn't in any of my classes to help me my eyes blur as flash back after memory replays before my eyes, the rest of the days classes are fused together as i'm on autopilot. All sounds, smells and thoughts are blended because all i can focus on are the horrific memories attacking me from the inside out. All the losses i've indured and not properly grieved for because i have had to stay strong for Jermey's sake come back full force, however all of a sudden everything fades and my eyes focuse on my surroundings taking everything in, i'm in last period PE and by the looks of it the day is almost over. Steam from the showers to my left fog the sterile room that has wooden benches littering the room with lockers facing the front wall while to my right is the exit and my freedom. A light sheen of sweat lays on my skin as i pull off my sticky gym clothes to put on blue jeans and a thin white t-shirt because it's easier to shower when i get home for there aren't going to be a horde of teenage girls on my heels for the next shower.
Bonnie has always acted weird in the changing rooms for instance she would look away from everyone and flinch when someone began to talk to her afraid to look anyone in the eyes incase with just one glance her eyes would burn, at first i suspected someone at home was abusing her but i knew better because she lives alone now since her grams died and she wouldn't let any guys date her yet so i then thought she might be shy and insecure; again i was wrong because she always acted so strong and confident which ment i was out of ideas. When she was like this i knew she was hiding something from someone and since she hadn't talken to me in a while i knew it was from me but i respected her privacy and gave her time to work up the courage to tell me but it still hurt that she was afraid too. I could tell from her pained facial expression as we stood in this tilled lockeroom with a bunch of sweay girls that she was in great pain so i changed the subject of our conversation hoping it would relax her some, a rush of sweet roses flittered through the air causing a smile to twitch at my lips calming Bonnie instantly however as i ranted about how stupid the Salvatore brothers are at allowing you to tag along to kill Klaus a chuckle left her lips making me huff.
"What happened to you on the night Klaus died? I know you didn't get hurt but please tell me." I hadn't ment for it to come out so broken so taking a step back I looked away breifly to gather myself.
"N-nothing happened really other than them using me as bait." Ignoring her stutter because i knew by that she was lying but i'd let her tell me in her own time.
"Ok." I shrug notchulantly turning to leave the emptying lockeroom and i swaer i heard her exhale relieved i'd dropped the subject.
Shouldering my bag i began my walk through the poster clad halls to the exit down the hall and to the left thinking of ways to tell Bonnie that i'm always there for her but trying not to sound stupid at the same time, the halls smelt oddly of sloppy joe's but what stuck out was the silence in the school. What time is it? Holding open the glass door Bonnie and i waited just outside to be greeted with an almost empty parking lot with merely eight cars left including our seperate ones, looking over at a grumbling Bonnie a smirk made it's way on to my face at the question swirling in my head made it's way out of my mouth.
'She's so cute when she grumbles ... uh o-kay.'
"Your place or mine?" A smirk makes it's way on to my face at how sly my words came out however my smirk only widens when Bonnie's jaw drops temporarily.
An innocent look covers Bonnie's face as she slowly approaches my frozen body that has gradually begun to shut down but just as the brunette was about to push up against me she pauses scrunching her nose up with a playful grin on her rosey lips. Something flashes in her hazel green eyes that stirs something inside me and even as i try to ignore it because i know exactly what it is and i've been trying to dismiss it for a while now it wont leave, breathing out a silent breath of recognition i see her step back smoothly but the cheeky smile doesn't leave just yet.
"Yours." She states before walking off with an extra hop in her step.
Speed walking to my red kia sports coupe concept that i finally scooped enough money to get i opened the divers door before speeding off to get home as fast as possible to recoperate and forget todays events however what i wasn't expecting, An empty house. 'Crap' Heading to the kitchen a scruffily written note on a piece of cartridge paper says 'Jeremy is spending the night a one of his friends houses' it's ok though i trust him not to do anything too stupid. Sighing heavily at the begining of the large hole in my chest i head up to my bedroom and in to my own bathroom where i then go on to start the warm water to have a shower in. Shredding myself of my clothes i climb in to the heavenly running water that runs smoothly over aching muscles but while i start waching my long brown hair all is forgotten as my mind resumes going over what i saw in Bonnies eyes, obviously my eyes decive me because Bonnie could never ... no i couldn't ... 'Well crap!'
Ever since my parents died a large empty hole apears in my chest tearing away at me however when i'm around people it disappears and i feel human again, Bonnie knows of this which is why whenever i ask her to come over she does so without any questions asked but knowing what i know now i can't seem to put her through anymore pain for i've done enough of damaging peoples lives.
Resting my hands palm out on the tiled surface where the shower head droops water over me i bow my knewly washed hair allowing the water to trace my body in calming waves but before i can comprehend what's happening tears are falling and the door bell is ringing but i can't seem to move just yet so i let the sobs shake my body and tears to run the length of my face. The sound of the door bell ringing again echoes in my head althoug when i try to move again all i can do is stumble out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel before slumping on the ground besides the running water, flashes of the dreadful night of the car crash plays before my eyes causing me to flinch as a new round of tears cascade down my face. There's frantic footsteps on the creaky stairs and i know it's Bonnie the minute she rushes throught the bedroom door just to pause and sigh painfully nevertheless i wouldn't want anyone else to see me like this because they wouldn't understand it the way Bonnie does, sure Jermey would kind off but i really need to be the strong one for him considering that he has been through ten life times of pain and i don't want to add on so i'll suck it all up. Reigning in the pain, tears and sobs until i'm merely shuddering in pain at the smaller hole wreacking havoc in my chest i cough and make my way to the large wooden wardrobe next to the queen sized bed, black and purple silk sheets and covers engulf my bed whilest the cream walls brighten up the sneakily behind the fluffy light blue towel i slip in to baggy warm grey sweat pants and a black wifebeater that hugs my upper body generously at the same time Bonnie stood like a statue at where i used to sit crying to the skies.
"Bonnie ..." There's no answer as i gently say her name. "Hey, Bon." I try a little louder but my throat hurts from all the crying so it crakes in the middle nevertheless there's still no answer.
With silent steps i walk up too the beautiful brunette only to be dragged in to a giant bear hug effecting in the strong scent of roses to engulf my senses while a sense of love and safety erupt within me allowing the feeling of freedom to indure, wrapping my own arms tightly around her shoulders i bury deeper in to the warmth she admits resting my fourhead against the crook of her neck. Sighing in adoration i take a step back and climb on to the large bed pulling the duvet up around my shoulders just as Bonnie frowned jumping on to the bed next to me crossing her legs, as she speaks her voice crackles with emotion breaking my heart a little at the sight.
"You scared me. You looked so broken and i couldn't do anything to help you other than stand there like an idiot. Why didn't you tell me? Better yet why didn't you let me help you?" Anger seeps in to her voice at the end allowing my lips to twitch up in a smile.
"I didn't want to inflict anymore pain on anyone because that's all i seem to be able to do. I'm sorry, forgive me?" I whisper snuggling in to the duvet and soaking in the warmth it emits.
"None of the things we face is your fault, ok?" Bonnie places one of her hands on my knees looking me dead in the eyes. "We choose to go through this because we want to help you, we want to keep you safe. So don't go blaming yourself because it's mainly our faults." She crakes a smile before bringing me in for another hug in which i resipricate.
"I'm just tired of thinking, of talking because i know no one will listen to me when i complain that your putting your lives at risk AGAIN just to save me." I sigh gaining the 'shut your face' look from bonnie.
"We have chosen to protect you and if that means giving our lives just so you can see another day we'll do it. It's just who we are so deal with it." Her laugh sends gooey feeling straight to my heart causing a goofey smile to appear.
"Fine, just do something to get my mind off it all." Huffing i watch her give an evil smile as she eyes my pillows then the closed window.
"Just remember you asked for it." She sing-songs happily as she gets off the bed to run down the stairs.
Confusion overwhelms me when she comes back with a knife but before i can asks her she holds up a silencing finger and closes the door before sitting again on my bed with the knife in hands. Grasping hold of one of the duck feather pillows she drags the knife down the side to let the feathers fall on to the bed ignoring my protest as she does it, holding off on kicking her ass for destroying one of my pillows i allow her to continue.
"I need to swear you to secrecy." Raising an eyebrow at her antics she merely smiles a warm comforting smile.
"You know i don't tell anything to anyone that's normally Caroline." I shake my head with a croocked smile. "Yes i'll keep your secret."
"I'm not suposed to be showing you this but it'll answer alot of your questions for instance why i was there when we killed Klaus." Nodding impaitently now she chuckles and gestures around half heartedly.
"There's no windows open right?" She asks gaining a nod. "No fan, no airconditioning."
"No, none. What are you doing?" I ask looking at her strangly playing with one of the stray feathers.
"You're going to love it." A look of love shines across her face stunning me but encouraging me slightly as my thoughts over take. "You ready?"
Her voice guides my attention back to the feathers on the bed and as i glance up to look at her soft complection i nod greatfully gaining a slow smile in return as she lifts one of her hands over a feather, a look of concentration crosses her face and a second later the very same feather is hovering in the air as her hand follows it's direction a inch above. My face scrunches up in confusion as i try to consider every possible answer for her trick but i come up empty each time, looking back up to see hazel green eyes starring in to my own; a blush makes it's way on to my cheeks making my duck in embaressment.
"Bonnie what's going on?" There is a double meaning to my words and i hope she catches it.
I watch the feathers drop just before she lets out a breath and begin rubbing her hands together readying herself again, spreading both her arms over them the same facial expression as before appears and a bunch of white feathers rise with her hands just as before overlapping and floating perfectly. Lowering her hands again i trail the unique feathers down looking up in wonder and awe to see a gentle smile on her lips turning cheeky as she looks up to the ceiling to see all of them following a path above our heads drifting lazily while they swirl. Kneeling to get a better look at them i peer down at Bonnie's amused face which turns in to a delighted chuckle making me laugh awestruck as the feathers twirling like ballerina's around our heads, looking deep in to her eyes happiness swirls in with the green causing my heart to flutter and guilt to tear it's way through me at what's going on in my head.
"It's true Elena, everything you've seen is true. I'm a witch." Bonnie breathes as if keeping it in was weighing her down, a smile approached my lips as she finally told me what's been going on with her and yet something inside me kept nagging that that wasn't it all.
"Thank you for telling me." I glance down at the feathers laying flat on my bed unaware at how close we've become as i sat back from kneeling seconds ago.
*1 Catching her hazel eyes with my own i can't think, can't move and if i'm honest i don't want to as i lean forward glancing down at plump rose red lips tempting me. Fear shadows the excitement in Bonnie's eyes crushing my heart as i think about our now ruined friendship along with strangled thoughts that try to make sense of all this, sighing i turn my face away causing our lips to graze and inflict a jolt of electricity but it's forgotten as I drop on to my back laying there with a huff as the breath in my lungs is ripped from me. Taking in a deep breath to apologise with my mind wipes clean as smooth tantalizing skin runs down the length of my bare arms causing a shudder to ripple down my spine just before fingers interlace as if they were made for one anothers. Our hips brush sending neurons buzzing and my heart pounding so hard i swear she would be able to hear it but as her left hand slides down my side painstakingly slow she lays her outstreached hand on my waist gripping my tight yet gentle. Looking in to deep green eyes all thoughts are gone as love grasps hold and plunges inside my heart causing the world to fade away and leave only Bonnie and myself. My breath catches in the back of my throat the moment our lips collide slow and sensual at first while we got used to each others velvet soft lips which soon turns hungry as we tried to display every emotion felt for one another through those kisses. Interlaced fingers lay pinned besides my face while the others seeked clutching waists or shoulders. Breaking apart when the need for air became necessary a giant smile spread across our lips while we panted heavily and Bonnie began leaving butterfly kisses across my neck needing any sort of contact, streaching my neck out to give her more room she sighed greatfully as those desireable lips and tongue attacked said neck and her warm careful hand that lay on my waist slowly traveled north.
"Bonnie." I breathed grasping hold of her shoulder as her hand started to play with lace of my bra.
"Hmm" Humming in content but not bothering to move for she was to busy indulging.
"Ask me?" It came out a whispered plea as i tried to keep myself in check.
Her lips stopped moving causing regret to swirl within me however as i looked in to her stunned eyes which softened with adoration swirling around the green i sighed happily once more, pecking my lips she smiled.
"Be mine?" She asked not moving an inch as her hazel eyes gazed deeply in to my blue ones.
Scrunching up my nose playfully a grin broke out across my face.
"Always."