Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers (2007), Transformers: Animated or Transformers: Generation 1.
Warning: Mentions LBGTQIA (Lesbian, Bi, Gay, Trans, Questioning, Intersexual, Asexual), ProwlxJazz (They will be bonded, the Cybertronian version of married, in this fanfiction...), some language, and conflicting morals...in the entire story.
Prowl's appearence is a mix of the Animated series and Generation 1. His frame is from Animated. His color scheme is from Generation 1. His personality is a mix of the two.
Just to be clear, Lillian is fifteen in this fanfiction.
Cassia is Desmond's 'official' girlfriend. Hence the provocation. Brenna is Cassia's 'sidekick.'
Desmond Lancaster is Miles Lancaster's father. Imagine that Desmond got a girl pregnant with Miles at a age that is...too young. Not young young, but...thirteen. For his sake, let's say he confused her for a sixteen year old. Age is confusing...(The story loop I'm creating with Preference, and Perseverance, in Life. I'm still figuring it out.)
I'm sorry if some words don't make sense or are spelled wrong. I'll fix those when I post the next chapter.
~0~
There were days when the nightmares would be enough to shake my resolve. On those days, I would go outside. I couldn't stand to be isolated in the little corner of the world known as my room anymore. Nothing innocent would bring me back. I had to go outside and surround myself in what the world had to offer. If I still wasn't okay by the end of the day, I would sleep on the couch in the sun porch. I would stare at the stars for as long as possible wondering, not for the first time, if life would be better on another planet.
When I hit my all time low or all time high I would go to the park. Not the park with the swings, although those were fun...The park with the giant tree down the middle. A tree had fell during a storm in a field. I went there to practice my ninjutsu skills. Okay, so I was still learning the basics. It wasn't like you could buy ninja stars. One would think that practicing ninjutsu would be the perfect self defense method, but it was difficult to execute what you learned when you didn't have a partner to practice with. It came as a handicap when you didn't know how to use your skills in real life situations, such as defending yourself against the school quarterback. He cornered me against a tree and groped my behind just so I understood what deal he planned on making.
"I'm in need of your services, Lillian."
"Why don't you just ask one of your buddies for help?"
"Unlike you, I'm no homo. C'mon, what do you say? I could convert you. Make the pain go away. Renew your reputation. How's that sound?"
Like a living hell.
He leanned in closer.
Hell.
His face took up most of my line of vision beyond the shadows. His muscles were completely relaxed. My shoulders churned back into the tree and I stared at his demonic eyes.
Hell.
My eyes lost all life as if I was in a trance. I lifted my hands up as if to cherish the sides of his face.
Hell no.
I put my hands around his head and crushed it into my left knee.
Like Hell I'm getting raped and letting him get away with it!
I kicked him into his friends while he was still out of it and bolted for the forest. I ignored the pain in my knee as much as I could.
"Hey freak! Get back here!"
Hell to the no Ah ain't comin' ta ya! I screamed at them mentally as I continued to run, not stopping for anything.
~0~
I stopped walking when my knee started throbbing to the ninth power. I held onto a tree for dear life and let my breathing even out. I slid to the ground. Move, I commanded. You have to keep moving.
Those idiots wouldn't come after you. They have to divise a plan to get the blame to fall on you. Yes, let's put all the blame on the homosexual who isn't even a homosexual! Desmond didn't have to sexually harass me. What did I do to provoke him? Nothing except a rumor. No one asked me if I was homosexual. People spread rumors like wild fire and don't even bother to get the facts. But Desmond would have sexually harrassed me even if I said I was asexual. 'How can you know if you are asexual if you haven't had sex? I can show you how good it can be.' Rubbish. Do you have to have sex with a member of the opposite sex to know your straight? Do you have to try having sex with an animal to know that you aren't attracted to them? No. Exactly.
I blinked at my surroundings. Wait a second...Did I...? I limped past a few more bushes right to my backyard. I did. I can't believe I just did a loop through the woods all the way back to my house. How many miles is that?
Does it matter?
I limped to the backdoor, grabbed the hidden key, went inside and upstairs. I went straight upstairs and soaked my knee in cold water. I put on different jeans and tried to act as normal as I could heading downstairs...minus using the railings as crutches. I lifted myself up for each step down, resting all my weight on my good leg. I walked normally to the diningroom even though it killed me. I knew that I wasn't getting away with hurting Desmond, but I didn't expect it to be as soon as the moment I sat down at the dinner table.
"So..." My aunt began. "You broke the quarterback's nose."
My aunt and I...Well, our relationship wasn't the greatest. If I had to guess, it was because she showed that she knew that I was struggling with something more than my uncle did. My uncle showed his concern by trying to distract me with jokes and fun topics. My aunt showed it by asking questions outright. I had stopped playing the acting game a few weeks ago. My aunt had started asking me more personal questions since that time, and truth be told, it was starting to annoy me. "He touched me in an inappropriate manner," I said neutrally.
Sonya and Mark tensed. "Desmond Lancaster sexually harassed you?" Sonya asked in disbelief. I snorted mentally. Of course she wouldn't believe me. He's good looking by society's standards, gets good grades, plays a sport and the nice guy role much better than I ever could and continues to think that he can harass anyone he wants and get away with it.
"Unwanted sexual advances," I continued as I looked directly at her. "Yes. He sexually harassed me."
"How far did he go?" Mark asked angryly. Ever the shot gun type, I thought sadly.
"Groped me once."
"That's it?" Sonya asked.
That's it?I questioned in disbelief. "Yes," I began as I tried to control the raging inferno. I locked eyes with her again. "Isn't that enough?"
"It's just that...Wasn't your reaction a little overkill? Guys do it to each other, right? It's a football couch thing."
It's a football couch thing, I thought in disbelief as I stared at her. Well excuse me for thinking that it may be a little different for the female species! I stood up. "I see," I began curtly. "Then what would you consider sexual harassment? When should I have pushed him away?" When he rapes me? Would that be enough? No, you'd probably still take his side, wouldn't you? Yes, because little miss Lillian Wescott isn't in her right mind and doesn't know which way is up. So if she considers groping from a stranger an unwanted sexual advance, it must have been a mistake! "Tell me when so that when push comes to shove, I can know when to tell a stranger to back off."
"I didn't say it wasn't sexual harassment, Lillian," Sonya began angrily at my sarcasm that she didn't understand.
"Then what was it?" Make up your mind! "Was it sexual harassment or a 'football couch' move?"
"I don't know. I wasn't there."
Right. Pull that one on me. Because I'm just that stupid. "In other words, you don't believe me."
"Of course I believe you!" she exclaimed. "I'm your aunt!" Thanks for that little stream of information, but guess what? That whole 'family sticks together no matter what' ideal? That's complete nonsense. I'm sorry that your not tuned into the world enough to know that. Not everyone has that, including us. Right now, we're struggling for whose on trial, and you don't want it to be you. You want me to be wrong so that you can fix all the 'problems' I have, give yourself a pat on the back by the end of the day, and tell yourself that you did a good job. Thanks for the lies your giving me now, though. They're really appreciated.
"Don't wait up."
"Lillian Wescott, get back here!"
"Don't worry," I began sarcastically. "I won't run off." I closed the door behind me calmly and began walking.
~0~
The moonlight gleamed off of the tree sap like diamonds. I took aim at one of them and ended up cutting off a small branch instead. Crooked aim, crooked heart, I thought with a scowl. I sighed before sitting down. Honestly. Get a hold of yourself. It had been like this for the past hour. I could aim just fine, but none of them would stick. I had to get the idea out of my head that I would be attacked the moment I stepped outside.
I looked up at the tree I had been aiming at. I jumped down from the 'balance beam' and walked over to the standing tree. I gently probed the handmade weapons out before placing a hand over the injured bark. Poor thing. You get enough abuse from others enough as it is, don't you? I looked at my hand. Sticky wet bark stuck to my fingers. I snorted. Payback. Lovely. I walked back over to my fallen comrad, jumping up to common ground. You'd think talking to trees would deem the obvious, but I would have rather been seen as insane than ungrateful.
Despite my calm demeanor, I was not oblivious. I knew a couple when I saw one. I knew when I should leave the area to give others peace. Half of the time, however, I chose to ignore the obvious for professionalism. If I had a task to accomplish, I would ignore others emotions and get them back on task. Was it selfish? In a way, yes. But being professional can go two ways. Once you've chosen to go one way, its hard for others to accept the switch. They question the sudden change. I could never blame them for that, but I didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to myself. Being invisible warranted certain behaviors and patterns. You had to blend to withhold your status. Dropping the wall causes confusion, and you have to play a role that is parallel to yourself. Once you look at it, it is very complicated. A series of diversions required a brilliant memory. If a story falls through, gossip starts. Once the gossips starts, there's no going back unless you refine your role lickety split. If you don't take action, you fall through with the story. It's as simple as that. Being invisible requires no slip ups. But what kind of human would I be if I didn't make mistakes every now and then? I suppose those mistakes...
"Hey Wescott!"
...are what warranted the initial tauntings.
All I wanted to do was roll my eyes at the immaturity. How old must one be for maturity to kick in? I would say sixteen, but if she had been at all mature, she would have never-
Humans make mistakes.
Great. Now I'm using my own thoughts against me. It was her fault!
"Aw...what happened? Did the whore have a fallout with her lover?"
"Easy, Cassia. Don't get too close. Don't you know that homosexuality is a disease?"
How can someone who has never lost society's sign of purity be labeled as impure by that same society? Call me crazy, but that makes no sense to me. And if anything is a disease, its homophobia. Homosexuality is a gift you are born with. Homophobia is something you learn and grow up with. As sad as that may be-
A rock hit me on the cheek. Several others followed. "Run, homo, run!"
Homophobia makes me sick to my stomach. It also ends up getting me almost killed. I ran for a while, sure...until I realized that I forgot my uncles boom box. I circled back around to get it even though my legs hurt from running so fast. The girls got a hold of my ninja stars and started throwing them at me along with various sharp rocks. When I reached the tree, I ducked inside along with the boom box. I breathed heavily for a minute or two before the unthinkable happened. I got attacked by a squirrel. I know my luck is bad, but seriously? I bolted outside into the pouring rain, desperately trying to get the thing off me. I didn't want to kill the thing, but I didn't want it to scratch my eyes out! It turns out that I didn't have to kill it. The girls did it for me when they threw a rock at my head. One of them hit the squirrel. The joke was on me when a ninja star finally caught me in the gastrocnemius region of my calf muscles. I stumbled to the ground after a soundless scream left my throat. A buzzing sound met my ears despite the pain. I looked up dizzily before flattening to the ground when I saw, I kid you not, a giant weapon hurled at my head. Brenna and Cassia cried out in shock. I heard and felt them drop the rocks. They pelted my body along with the rain.
"Run, you idiot!" Cassia shouted to Brenna.
I sighed in relief as I stared ahead. I blinked when I saw what looked like a high heel made out of metal. For curiousity's sake, I looked up. Rain slid off its metalic frame like marble. It was the blue visor that glowed in the dark that got my attention. The being grabbed the weapon as it circled around back to it before subspacing it in one of its ankles. The silver circle gleamed in the rain along with the beautiful frame. Perfectly shaped, carved from the gods. My heart thumped as I watched it stand up, still staring at me. The blue visor was the last thing I ever saw before blacking out.