Yo my friends. This, is an amazing fanfiction which was written in French by a friend of mine. I'm a big big esplanie shipper, and I was gutted there wasn't ANY scene between Lanie and Javier in the finale. and with his suspension, there were a LOT of things to tell and do between the two. So my friend Everdeen wrote this. and it was SO adorable I wanted to translate it for non French people.
It will be a two shot. I'm posting the first chapter tonight, and I'm already working on the second. Thanks to my friend Jabamiah for helping me with the translation.
I hope you will love it. Esplanie always !
~ Who'll Stop The Rain ~
Long as I remember the rain been comin' down
Clouds of mystery pourin' confusion on the ground.
Good men through the ages tryin' to find the sun.
And I wonder still I wonder who'll stop the rain.
He was barely out of the precinct, only wearing his shirt, grabbing his coat in his hands. He felt naked without his badge and gun, and putting his coat on would not have changed the feeling. He would still feel naked, even with more fabric on him.
Outside, the rain came by surprise. Just a few drops at first, and Javier thought it would only be a little shower without any intensity…When suddenly, the storm tore the sky with an hoarse rumble, as if someone, in the sky, wanted to create a sort of sonorous fracture to make him realize how surrealistic the day he just had was.
Fracture. It was the best word ever to point out these apocalyptic circumstances. First, there was the pain he was feeling when he thought about Ryan's betrayal. Definitely, his "brother" broke something between them, that day. The second fracture he thought about was Kate's resignation. By doing this, she created an hole in their precinct, in their team, in their family. Javier was gutted, and shocked by her decision. He knew she loved her job more than anything else.
And then, here came his suspension. His unfair suspension.
Unfair. Was it, really?
The rain was pouring now, making him feel a bit more miserable. As it was possible. But he didn't put his coat on, though. He was still walking in the street, looking for his car parked a few streets away. His skin, his hair were drenched in cold rainwater…Javier wished the rain could have cleaned all this mess in his head. But it would be too easy. The latest events were torturing him, inside. Did he choose the right thing to do with Kate? Was it fair to be angry towards Kevin, just because he decided to save them? Just because he put Kate in danger?
Javier was a loyal friend. A good cop, but mostly a loyal, and faithful friend. And he perfectly knew that, when it came to her mother's case, Kate would have done anything. He knew how important it was, for her. So at that moment, he hadn't thought. He had decided to follow her in this dangerous adventure, without looking back. For her, because he knew that it meant the world for her, he would have done everything. Anything. Without thinking. Because she was his friend. He wanted to be here for her. Until the end, and no matter what.
He finally arrived to his car, when another lightening tore the sky, almost making him shiver. He looked for his car keys in his pocket, mechanically, and found them easily.
He was about to open his car when, before he could realize it, his keys fell on the ground. More accurately, in the gutter just under his feet.
"Damn it." He swore, shocked. That was the worst day ever. He couldn't move for a few seconds, trying to realize what the hell was happening to him.
He sighed and bit his lips, looking at the sky with desperation. The rain was still pouring and it made him close his eyes a bit. The storm was unchained.
"Really, bro?" he yelled, flabbergasted. « Wasn't enough for today, huh ? » he added, still looking at the sky, almost hoping for someone, God, an angel, or even someone else, to answer him.
And then he stayed like that, waiting for he didn't even know what…Still looking at his car and the gutter, in a deep sigh. The truth was, he didn't know what to do.
If it was a normal day, the first thing he would have done would be to call his partner, his friend, his brother Kevin, to ask him to drive him home. But it wasn't a normal day.
Javier kept thinking about how to get out of this awkward situation for a few more seconds, when finally the answer popped up in his mind. The very, very, obvious solution to all this mess. Oh yeah, he knew someone else to go to. And luckily, this particular person had had the great taste to choose her apartment only a few blocks away from the precinct, when she bought it years ago.
Lanie.
Thinking of her name made him shiver even more, under this heavy and freezing rain. Then he looked at his coat, still in his hand. It was wet, even more, soaked with cold water. He wouldn't need it anymore.
After swearing something in Spanish, he finally decided to continue his trip…until her apartment.
10 minutes later, he was in the right street, in front of the right building…Javier pushed the door of the lobby, and quickly reached the elevator.
It was the first time within four months that Javier Esposito was visiting her in her apartment, without any particular thoughts in mind. Actually, that was a lie. Of course he kept telling her their "booty calls" were enough for him. But the truth was, each time they finished in her bed, he was waiting for her to ask him to stay. To spend the entire night with her, instead of giving him his clothes back, at 4am and showing him the exit door, like she always did since they broke up.
Lanie Parish had created this sort of wall between them, lately. Since October, since they stupidly cooled things off because of the "M" word uttered by Jenny.
After this night, two months had passed without any contact, or any talk between them. Except at work, but it was still short and cold when they had to talk to each other. No more winks, no more puppy dog eyes, no more love making sessions in the morgue…the heat was dead.
Until that night of January, where Javier had found his car buried into a pile of snow, during the biggest snow storm of the winter. Ryan was already home for a few hours, and he had found himself alone, without any way of going back home. That's why he had decided to visit her.
He had arrived to hers around 10pm, and explained her the situation. Of course he was an honest guy and she knew it, but at first, the sassy ME only thought it was a lie to finish, again, in her bed. But finally, she had trusted him, and let him enter her apartment. Then she had coldy thrown him a pillow and blanket on the living room's couch, and went back to her bedroom. Nothing more. Javier hated this coldness between them. So that night, he hadn't slept. He had kept walking in her living room, wondering why things had gone so bad between them.
That's why he had decided to knock to her bedroom door. Within a minute, she opened and asked him what the hell he wanted. Like he could have answered that. The sassy chocolate goddess was in front of him, only wearing a cute navy bue babydoll, looking incredibly attractive even with her long dark hair in a total mess. No, he couldn't answer with words. Instead, he quickly leaned down and kissed her with all his passion, making her step back into the room. When she was against the wall, he reluctantly let her mouth and tongue go, as he kissed his way down to her shoulder, worshipping her neck on his road. He bit her shoulder's skin and could feel her quietly moaned while her nails dug into his shirt. He knew she wanted him, too. Then he licked her earlobe and softly added :
"This. I just want this. »
His voice was full of lust and she couldn't really resist. She pushed him back at first, her hands still on his torso, and quickly added "This, and nothing more. You won't have anything else, Javi." She warned him.
Like hell. This, or nothing. He didn't hesitate a millisecond, and nodded, before kissing her again angrily, while her hands already were gripping his shirt eagerly. She had been missing these hot, brutal, almost vicious sessions of love making with him, but she wouldn't admit it in front of him.
That night was one of the hottest night they've spent together. Like they had to express two months of frustration. The morning after, they didn't even talk to each other. Javi was afraid of her reaction. But she didn't react. Lanie only drove him back to the precinct, the storm was over and the snow has been cleared by the municipal services very early in the morning. She abandoned him on the precinct sidewalk, without even kissing him, and drove to the morgue. Like nothing happened the night before.
After that night, the making out sessions happened more often. The rules, (hers) were simple : No talking, only body language…and the most important one, he was forbidden to spend the entire night at her apartment.
At first, Javier had decided to accept her rules. Because he missed her too much, and if it was the only way to spend more time with her, he didn't want to fight. But it was more and more difficult for him, lately. Because he still loved her, and didn't want to only be a man she would only use for sex.
While he was still thinking about that hot, very hot night, he finally arrived in front of the door. The hallway was dark but he didn't need any lights to recognize her door.
Javier sighed deeply, finding some strength inside him, then he knocked the door. Three times.
The only thing welcoming him was the silence. He knocked again. Finally, he could hear footsteps.
Lanie opened the door. She looked at him, surprised and shocked. She was even more shocked when she realized how soaked with water he was. And how tired he looked.
She raised an eyebrow
-Javier ?
-Hey, he simply muttered.
She eyed him again before shaking her head a bit. Javier could see that she had her cell phone in her hand.
"Kate just called. What the hell happened? » she asked, upset. He wanted to answer, but she wouldn't let him.
"I…"
"Are you insane ? Do you realize that you could have both died? Javier Esposito I can't even believe you let her do that without any back up."
"Can I come in? » he just answered frowning. "I'm cold."
She looked at him, hesitantly. But his look was so tired and desperate, she couldn't really argue. After all, she still had strong feelings for the man.
She finally nodded and let him enter.
"Please take your shoes off. I'll get you a towel."
She disappeared towards the bathroom, letting him alone in the hall. He took his shoes off as she asked, and put his coat on the first chair he found.
When she got back, she gave him a white towel he welcomed with a quick « thanks » and then he wiped his face, his arms…he was completely drenched.
She started walking into the living room, and he followed her, still wiping himself up. Her living room was cosy and cute. Lanie had great taste for her house decoration. He felt like home, right here. But not only because the decoration was nice…No, because it was her place.
Lanie put her phone back on the table next to the couch, then looked back at him.
"If you're here for some comfort, you can go home. I'm upset and I still think that what you did was the stupidest thing you and Kate have ever done. So immature and…
"I lost my car keys in a gutter." He finally said, stopping her.
"…Oh."
"I just… I just needed some help about that. And you were the closest person I know in the neighbourhood, and…I'm not here for…"
He didn't finish his sentence, but she perfectly understood. Not here for sex.
« What about Ryan ? » She asked, folding her arms.
"He betrayed me."
« The hell, Javi! He saved Kate's life! » she retorted with anger.
« I'm suspended. »
« I know. »
« And Kate resigned. »
She finally smiled.
« I know that, too. »
He frowned.
« And you look incredibly happy about it. »
Lanie softly shook her head.
" I'm not, it's just…Your stupid acting helped her realize some stuff. And I'm happy about that. It was about damn time…"
Javier was lost.
"About damn time? » he repeated, frowning. " Lanie, she quit her job ! Since I knew her, It was her reason to live !"
"Well, now she's got a new one. More important, something that won't kill her and make her life a living hell." Lanie answered, still smiling shyly.
Javier still didn't understand and Lanie smiled again, shaking her head.
"Never mind. Don't worry about her. She'll be back. You cannot get rid of Kate Beckett so easily. But for now, looks like she decided to live for herself, instead of her job. And as her best friend, I'm glad she made that decision."
Javier walked a few steps in the living room, and then put the towel on a chair, near the counter of the kitchen. He couldn't look at her when he finally spoke again.
"I was an idiot."
"Hell yes you were." She nodded.
« If she had died, if Ryan hadn't saved her, I don't know… »
"Javi, it didn't happen" she cut him. "And she's not mad at you."
"…I know."
"And even if I think you acted like an ass, neither I am. "
He finally looked at her. He didn't deserve people to forgive him for how he behaved. But he was glad she didn't hate him for that. After loosing Ryan, it would have been too much to handle.
"I still think you were too hard on Ryan, though." She finally added.
Esposito shrugged.
« Look, I know he made the right decision. But it was easier for me to get mad at him, instead of accepting my own mistake."
Lanie nodded.
"Sometimes it's easier to flee than face your own issues…isn't it?"
His tone, and his look. Oh she knew what he meant. She suddenly felt their conversation was going to be about them. And she wasn't ready. Not tonight. His look was so intense. Lanie stopped looking at him in the eyes, and instead, she decided to loose her gaze on his shirt. On his handsome, incredibly hot body.
She bit her lips.
"Your clothes are soaking, Javi. You should…take them off before getting sick."
On a normal day, he would have nodded and use this opportunity to jump on her and make love to her all night. He still wanted to do that, tonight, because Lanie was drop dead gorgeous, even in these old clothes of her, the ones she only wore at home. An old black jean, and a very very worn blue sweater. She was incredibly beautiful tonight. Well, she always was.
But no. He won't use this lame excuse to step closer and kiss her, take off his clothes, and hers, in the same time. He didn't want this for them, tonight. He was sick and tired of the situation between them, sick of only being the man she used for sex, without wanting him in her life anymore.
So he shrugged again, shaking his head.
"Nah, I'm good."
« Javi, you're going to have a pneumonia, or…"
" I don't care. » he reacted, without letting her finish. She rolled her eyes.
« Fine. God, you're so stubborn sometimes. »
They remained silent for a few seconds, before she decided to speak again.
"You want me to drive you home?"
He nodded, without words.
"Fine. Just let me find my coat… »
She walked until her bedroom, and he looked at her, without adding anything else. After all, there was nothing else to say. But still…He didn't want to go home without having a specific talk with her. A conversation he had been wanting to have for months, now.
Next chapter to come soon. Please review if you liked it :)