Hi there everyone! This was a fic that I had wrote for the digiotpweek that was going on over on tumblr.
I'll be honest...this wasn't a planned fic...basically I was just talking to my friend about some little headcanons and ideas. Then she started saying what it'd be like if Taichi and Yamato went to separate universities. We started going on and on about how they normally be fine. But if they met up with each other, even if it was just for one day, they'd instantly start to miss one another and they wouldn't want to leave each other and...ahhh man. She started drawing a little picture (the cover image) and then I started writing this out LOL
I tried to fix it up from the tumblr format. While I did receive a fair amount of praise on tumblr. After rereading it myself I started to see all of the errors that I couldn't sit well with. After editing it, I just decided to post it up here.
If you read this, I hope you enjoy! Thank you!
Mornings were simple for Yamato.
It wasn't unusual to wake up in a cold, empty bed. He lived alone. Hours away from the home that he grew up in. Despite being in his home country, this city wasn't his home. It was someplace new. A different place he'd have to adjust too.
He learned how to navigate from his university to his apartment in record timing. He figured out which shops had the best prices for different kinds of necessities. He knew when to put on gloves and when it was time to stop wearing scarves again. Every street, market, even weather changes, Yamato now had to relearn habits that had been ingrained in him for years.
It made coming back home oddly nostalgic. All of the little details he rewrote with new memories would flood back into him like a waterfall of fresh water. No matter how long it'd been since he last came home, he'd fall right back into place without even thinking twice about it. Back and forth. Between Tokyo and Kyoto. Staying true to new routines. Unable to truly forget old ones.
Some of the habits overlapped each other. He still rinsed his bowl before scrubbing it with soap. He'd still jump and twist his body all around if the TV didn't react to the remote automatically. He still hated doing his laundry. He still left his spice mix and roux blocks uncapped on the kitchen counter.
So Yamato adjusted to sleeping and waking up alone just fine.
It made no real difference to him.
Ever since Yamato moved out for college, it's been like this. Due to the severity of his program, he was forced to learn quickly. He had already gotten used to doing almost everything on his own. That included sleeping in a bed that never had the comfort Yamato missed. No matter the amount of blankets he had, there was always a certain level of warmth missing. No matter how tightly he wrapped himself in a cocoon, he still missed the security of another person. He never had the sparkling image of drowsily waking up to the one person who somehow made the morning bright without opening window shutters.
So when he woke up pushed to one side, with the other side of the bed rumpled, cold and empty—he was fine. He yawned and stretched and drowsily rolled over. He patted around to find his phone, plug it in its charger while checking for any notifications he missed during the night. He wasted his time before he eventually got up out of bed. Threading across the floor with sleep still in his eyes, and a slight soreness emanating from his lower back.
Yamato went out of the bedroom to march straight into the bathroom. Only to realize, that the layout of this apartment wasn't the same as the one he lived in Kyoto.
He froze for a split second. In cold blood he tried to piece together what was missing. But his dazed mind was cut off as he heard the sound of some quiet sizzling and low humming.
Yamato shook his head. The last of his drowsiness gone as he remembered everything. This was Taichi's apartment. He came up to visit for the weekend.
Despite Taichi attending Tokyo University, he moved out of his family home. It was a small apartment, not much fancier than the apartment Yamato had in Kyoto. Still, Taichi's new flat was a short bike ride away from his campus and spacious enough.
Plus it made quick weekend trips easier. If it was a holiday, or a break between semesters, visiting home was expected and no explanation was needed. But, just like now, when they were busy with school and they wanted to see each other, having a place all to themselves was much easier to handle.
Yamato was leaning against the entryway of the kitchen. He knew Taichi would be there, probably finding something to eat, but he wasn't expecting the image he saw when he walked in.
It was obvious that when Taichi woke up the only thing he cared about was covering himself up enough to not be shivering while rummaging through his fridge for food. The sweater that Taichi was wearing belonged to Yamato. He could tell simply by the color. After all, Taichi would never buy himself a grey sweater. And…that was it. A sweater, a pair of black boxer-briefs that would peep out from under the hem. Those were Taichi's. Yamato would never buy underwear with a red trim.
Yamato couldn't help but smile to himself. First thing he had to see waking up on a Sunday morning.
Yamato pushed off from the wall, walking over and immediately hugging Taichi from behind. He could feel the slight tension in Taichi's shoulder, followed by the tiny gasp of surprise as Yamato hugged him tight around the waist.
"Ah, Yamato!" Taichi chirped, turning his head around to look Yamato in the eye. Despite it only being mid-morning, Taichi had a lightness to his eyes, it only made his smile that much more noticeable, "You scared me for a second, I thought you were still asleep."
"I was," Yamato shrugged, "Then I woke up, but you were already gone."
Taichi nervously chuckled, "…Yeah, sorry about waking up before you. I wanted to grab a quick bite but then I figured it'd be better to just start making breakfast. I was going to wake you up soon."
Yamato nodded. He glanced to the stove where Taichi had some kind of an omelet cooking. The counter had an open carton of eggs and chopsticks laid on top of a bowl, "Hm, that's fine," He hoarsely muttered. Then he cleared his throat. He probably wasn't as awake as he originally thought.
No. Not especially so. Cause his eyes just followed down the smoothness of Taichi's skin. The big difference between Yamato's tastes in clothes versus Taichi's, was that Taichi almost always bought collared shirts while Yamato often sported v-necks. And that difference what was making Yamato's heart internally leap and bound.
There was a slight difference in fit. Yamato's sweater fit loosely around Taichi. Sleeves rolling up to Taichi's knuckles like they were meant to protect his hands from the cold. One end of the wide neck threatened to slide over and off had he'd been a smidge slimmer. Because of their closeness, Yamato's sharp eyes could see the lines of Taichi neck concave downward to his chest. Any blemishes from their nightly escapades were practically faded by now.
Yamato barely feigned attention as he clutched his arm around Taichi's waist tightly. Swiping a tongue over his bottom lip first, Yamato didn't care if Taichi skipped over what he was saying as he pressed a kiss right on Taichi's neck.
"Ahh, Yamato!" Taichi chuckled as he pulled away. Taichi's light push was hardly anything serious. It only prompted Yamato to press another kiss. And another. And another one on top of that. Kissing upward on Taichi's cheek before continuing his onslaught back down.
Taichi's chuckle fluttered to a series of laughs that he couldn't keep down as he pressed against Yamato's chest. He shouted out a plea here and there for Yamato to stop attacking his ticklish spots. But the more he protested, the harder Yamato pressed his lips against Taichi's skin. The larger his smile grew as he could feel the slight jump in his pulse as he was doing so.
"No seriously! Cut it out!" Taichi pushed Yamato's chin away. His voice was scratchy from all of the laughing, and Taichi rubbed his ear with his shoulder to try and brush off any leftover tingling sensations.
Yamato was going to say a retort. But his mouth hung slightly open as he wound up staring at Taichi's smile. The wide grin that was so bright it managed to dull Yamato's sweater. Almost as if Taichi custom made it just for him. When, in reality, Yamato knew that he was just lucky.
Lucky enough to have Taichi with him like this. That despite all of their pig headedness. The arguments they spat at each other, how easily the little things caused them the distance between them to widen. Those factors were just miniscule details on a morning like this. It didn't matter where Yamato physically was. What habits he had to remember or what even would come next. For this pocket of time, he had Taichi with him, unguarded and happy. Smiling without a care in the world, and all because Yamato was right there beside him.
Yamato caught onto Taichi's smile. Small and subtle instead of Taichi's which was still full of choice giggles. He buried his face against Taichi's shoulder blade, sighing into Taichi's scent as he chuckled on his own. It was almost unfair how easily Taichi could make Yamato's heart sing. How just by resting his hands on top of his, Yamato's stomach was instantly in a flurry of fluttering emotions.
"Huh?" Taichi tried to crane his neck, "what are you doing now?"
"Nothing at all."
"Hm," Taichi absentmindedly leaned back, feeling the hairs of Yamato's bangs brush up against his neck again which caused an involuntary smile, "Okay, come on. I'll finish making some food, you need to go clean up and get ready."
Yamato groaned, face still buried against Taichi's shoulder blade, "All the packing is done."
"You sure, you're not forgetting anything like last time right?" Taichi grabbed the nearby spatula and lifted the cooked omelet onto a piece of bread.
"That was you remember?" Yamato's voice was muffled down. Taichi started eating his quick sandwich, and the movement made Yamato lift away from the back of Taichi's shoulder.
Taichi took a large bite from his food, "What? Me forgetting something? I'd never do that."
"You basically forgot your entire bag. You had to get off a stop mid-way and come back for it."
"Well…you forgot your phone charger once!"
"Once. Years ago. That was before I moved out."
"Still counts," Taichi muttered with a snide smirk as he took another large bit out of the egg and bread combo.
Yamato rolled his eyes, "I already packed last night. Double checked it and everything. All that's left is to leave and make it to the station on time."
Taichi's shoulders tensed. His lips pressed tightly against each other as he didn't respond. Yamato regretted saying such a statement the second after he finished. The innate silence was heavy. Tangible enough to press weight.
It wasn't that it wasn't the truth.
It was just something that…wasn't easy to deal with.
Traveling took effort. But the time and expense was manageable, tiny drawbacks in comparison.
Nothing really compared to how it felt when they first saw each other. Whether it be some random yelling, or a heated storm of desperate kisses. It never took long for them to find their way to bliss. To clasp their hands tight to make up for all of the days they had spent apart.
Yamato always found himself sinking against Taichi, melting under his touch, acting as if he'd been frozen without Taichi's smile to warm his heart. Taichi would latch his way onto Yamato. Not caring for time or place, how loud he got, or what he was even doing and saying. He couldn't be calm unless he felt Yamato's eyes on him. He couldn't feel rooted until he grabbed onto Yamato to anchor him.
They could cope if they were apart. They had their own goals to keep them motivated. They didn't suddenly lose focus of what's important just because of distance.
But. Life lost its color. Pleasure lost its luster.
It was hard for them to happy when they were apart.
Two days was just too short of a time.
Traveling was tedious, meeting each other again was euphoric, but leaving? Leaving was anguish. Heartbreaking.
It was never easy.
Just thinking about it was enough to make them ache.
Taichi took the final bite out of his makeshift sandwich. Looking down at the ground with a solemn expression. Yamato recognized the look almost immediately. The small shift in emotions that Taichi would rather not say out loud. The small droop in his shoulders that matched the darkening of his iris.
All of it and more. Yamato could read Taichi easily. It took trial and error over the years. But Yamato didn't need Taichi to voice all of his feelings out anymore. Not when Taichi was the type of person who couldn't hide what he was really feeling.
"It's okay," Yamato commented and rubbed Taichi's arm gently, "Once the semester is over, I'll be back for the entire break. These next couple of months will fly by so quickly."
"…Yeah," Taichi's voice was soft, quiet even. It was completely unfitting. It saddened Yamato just by knowing that Taichi was already affected.
It wasn't like Yamato wasn't hurt by this. But it was a decision that they both made. That they both needed to make. Taichi's career had to stay in the capital. Yamato's was farther out. Kyoto was just the start. Deep down Yamato knew that he'd have to go out of country, and if he was fortunate enough, he'd eventually be out of orbit.
And that distance was going to happen. Even at the cost of staying together and sharing blissful mornings such as this.
"…Hey," Yamato made Taichi turn around to face him. As Taichi looked up at him with his rich dark eyes, Yamato leaned in and sealed Taichi for a light kiss. The gap was tight as Yamato pressed his lips against Taichi's. He could feel the difference in their intake of breathing as the meaning being their words were overtaken by their actions. The kiss was brief, and Yamato pulled away slowly, "It'll be fine. Okay?"
His question was more of a statement. A reminder, considering how Taichi had a harder time dealing with the separation. He hated it of course, always acting like it was the end of the world when they were apart. First Taichi would leave a series of text messages, and always called during Yamato's breaks. It wasn't until some time had passed and Taichi got more involved with work that he lessened up. Taichi had a habit of overworking to delay confronting with his problems. That was just the way he managed to cope with it.
Taichi didn't say anything. He wrapped his arms around Yamato's neck, bringing him down and pulled him in for another kiss. This one didn't have the same delicacy and added meaning. It burned Yamato's lips, forcing him to feel the heat spread inside of him as Taichi hugged him tight and made sure that he was close enough. Yamato sucked in whatever breath he could manage before hugging Taichi around his waist and leaning into him.
One kiss turned into two. Then three. Then four. Until they could no longer keep track of when their mouths separated and when they collided. Taichi's fingers sunk into Yamato's hair, pulling the blond strands back as he tilted his head and opened his mouth for another heated kiss. Yamato hands crawled up and down Taichi's thigh as he pushed Taichi back against the counter. Taichi lead him on, Yamato followed. From sliding their tongues against one another, to nipping the edge of their lips. Yamato absentmindedly flicked the stove off before sliding his hand back under the loose sweater.
All words that they wanted to say
"Don't go"
"Stay with me"
"I'll miss you"
"I love you"
They all melted into one another and only came out in the sounds of shuddered gasps and the muffled sounds of them pressing close to one another. Not needing to be heard, but felt.
Taichi pulled away and whispered Yamato's name. Yamato felt shivers running down his back and couldn't resist leaning back in and letting Taichi drive him back for one more kiss. Each time they parted Taichi repeated his name. Each time Yamato felt the longing and desperation laced in Taichi's whisper. Each time Yamato leaned in further.
It was the simple things that meant the most. Yamato wasn't the fanciest guy, he wore plain shirts if they looked nice on him. He had a small apartment with only the required furnishings inside.
The small moments between him and Taichi were the quickest. They were times when Taichi would first greet him with a large smile that made him forget everything else. It was when Yamato turned on the TV and Taichi would wind up dozing off on his shoulder. When they would be walking down the street and Taichi would 'sneakily' hold his hand. The small patches in their busy lives where they didn't have any other obligations. Just the chance to be themselves. In all of the good and bad glory. For when they were together, that's all they had to be. Themselves.
Yamato rested his forehead against Taichi's. He could see the small smile on Taichi as he rubbed their noses together. Yamato wound up reciprocating the same light smile as well, even as he felt Taichi wrap his arms tighter around his neck. He dipped down easily. Smoothly catching Taichi in another long kiss.
Small moments like this were enough. It wasn't plentiful. Not nearly to the degree that he wished for and that Taichi needed. But it was enough to remind each other of how they felt. And how they weren't alone.
But in the end, Yamato had to grab his things and head out of the door.
Alone.
That's what Yamato was feeling right now.
He sat in the corner of the train car, leaning against the wall with the pillow wedged between him and the window. Yamato hardly moved as he sat there in silence. His blanket had fallen off. The thin fleece was originally wrapped up to his shoulders, but now had fallen lamely into his lap. Folding over itself as most of the fabric had fell to the floor. All he could hear was the bitter emptiness of the wheels gliding over the rails, and wind rapidly whipping around the speeding train.
The train car was sparsely populated, given the destination and the time of day, Yamato didn't have to worry about any kids or loud people causing a fuss while traveling south. Usually that was a good thing, but given his current situation, he would have welcomed a distraction right now.
It'd only been a couple of hours since he left Taichi's apartment in Tokyo. Soon he'd reach his station. He'd have to travel back home in the routes he familiarized himself with. Head back into his apartment, and make sure he had everything ready for his class lecture tomorrow.
Yamato knew all of what he had to do. But all he could think of was Taichi's bright smile, and his loud goodbye as Yamato left. How they'd riddled themselves till the very last second that they could. Trying to leave each other on a happy note rather than a solemn promise.
He knew that memories weren't as good at the real thing. The more he thought about how Taichi was in the kitchen, wearing a sweater that didn't fit him in the slightest. The more Yamato yearned for him. He wished that tomorrow when he woke up, he'd be greeted with the same image once more.
Yamato left the sweater with Taichi. Even if Taichi would probably never wear it, he still left it with him. Having Taichi change into an impersonal set of clothes right as he had to leave felt wrong. Yamato didn't actually tell Taichi that he enjoyed seeing him wear his clothes. Probably for the better. Taichi wouldn't let Yamato forget about that any time soon.
No longer comfortable, Yamato let a long sigh as he sat up straight in his seat and reached over to his bag to grab his headphones. He played a random song. It didn't matter what it was, just so long as it was enough to drown out the memories of Taichi's laughter.
Taichi's smile. His warmth. The click of his tongue as Yamato mentioned something he didn't like. It had only been a short amount of time since he left Taichi. But he already could feel his heart hurting as if it had been weeks.
Yamato stared aimlessly out of the window, trying to let the blurry images of trees, grass, and whatever else was along the rails to prevent him from thinking about how Taichi looked.
This weekend had been short. He knew that it would be. After this semester was over, he'd be able to come back for a few weeks instead of a handful of hours. But while he told himself that a few months wasn't that long, especially compared to what they have been through previously. It still didn't make the current emotions dampen down.
Yamato let out another sigh and turned the volume up. When he got to his apartment he'd give Taichi a call. He'd probably stay on the line as Taichi rambled on and on about random stuff that he'd done. A call that'd burn through Yamato's cell plan in just one day, but those details were pointless.
Right now it was just going to different universities. As they got older, it'd be different things keeping them apart. Either way, that was just how their lives were. They weren't the most normal when it came to relationships. And that was amplified when they concerned themselves with distance.
But those were things Yamato didn't care about.
The dull heartache was still there. But Yamato could push through it. He'd fall into his same routine of school, study and living. Juggling himself between his responsibilities and passions. Falling back into the same habits that got him through each passing day.
Because a simple morning was enough.
Taichi reminded Yamato of all that he held dear. He could accomplish anything so long as he had Taichi to rely on.
Yamato smiled to himself, as he stared out of the window.
He'd just have to wait till it was time to share another morning again.