a/n: this is a modern day AU, just clarifying. this is different from what i usually write, mainly because it's in past tense. i don't know if i got the age difference between them right, but this is how i headcanon it. and i didn't exactly know how to use one of the prompts so i just left it out, sorry.
written for nina in the christmas exchange on coppertone wars. beta-read by abi (dirtbags) and clara (lydiamartins).
broken fairytales
finnick/annie
-x-
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Annie Cresta, and she was happy. She was eleven years old and everything seemed to be perfect.
Even though she was stuck in that time where she was too young to be considered a teenager, but too old to be considered a kid, she didn't mind.
She liked the color blue because it was the color of the ocean. And being a swimmer, she liked the ocean. She liked grilled cheese sandwiches, but not the crust. She never ate crusts.
She liked wearing scarves because they protected her neck from vampires. Sometimes, she liked to pretend that she was a princess. She would make herself a crown, usually out of flowers, and place it atop her head.
She liked laughing and playing in the flowers. She liked dancing in the rain and singing loudly. She liked braiding her hair and putting flowers in it. She liked candy and ice cream and every dessert that her mother said was bad for her.
Once upon a time, Annie Cresta didn't care what anyone else thought and did whatever made her happy. Those were the golden days, when her imagination was vivid and dreams came true if you wished hard enough and Disney movies were what she lived by.
The only thing missing was a prince and her happily ever after would be complete.
But boys didn't like her because she was strange. Nobody liked her because she was strange. But she was happy.
.
.
.
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Finnick Odair. He liked swimming and walking around without a shirt on. He liked eating sugar cubes (even though they were for horses). He liked the ocean and everything to do with it. He liked seeing the tides wash onto the shore, bringing small shells and the occasional jellyfish.
The ocean, the lakes, the swimming pools, and anything with water were his home away from home. At swim meets, once he submerged under water, he would feel free. He couldn't hear all the cheering of his crazed fans or the shrill voice of his coach. He would start to swim, and instantly feel more relaxed.
He didn't have to worry about anything in the pool as no one could reach him there. He would create his own little bubble and shut everyone and everything out.
He was fourteen years old and everyone either wanted to date him or be him. He was the golden boy. He was basically a shoo-in for homecoming king and prom king. He was extremely popular and had a lot of friends but sometimes he wished people would stop being so superficial. He knew that all of his friends weren't true friends and his girlfriends were just girls he used. It wasn't very nice, but it wasn't like he had any other choice.
Finnick wanted people to love him for who he was inside and not because he had a six-pack or biceps. It didn't seem like that was going to happen anytime soon, but he never lost hope.
-x-
Once upon a time, these two kids met at the community park.
Annie Cresta was sitting on the swings, but wasn't really swinging. She was gazing off into the distance and thinking about life. She was thirteen and her teenage years were just beginning. She was hurtling downhill without any brakes. It was like she was living in fast forward and rewind buttons didn't exist, much less pause buttons.
School was harder and people were meaner and Annie knew she wasn't going to come out of this alive. People judged her for every little thing she did. Being strange and different wasn't a good thing anymore and most importantly, Annie was no longer happy.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the seventeen year old guy in her neighborhood, Finnick Odair. The Finnick Odair, the hot one with the charming smile that made all the girls faint.
Annie had never really talked to him. Popular boys like Finnick never talked to her; the regular boys never even talked to her.
So it was a shock to Annie when he took a seat on the swing next to her. He didn't say anything at first, just stared at the ground and kicked a few woodchips with his sneakers.
Annie watched him for a few minutes. He wasn't smiling. In fact, he showed no emotion at all. She wondered what had happened to his smile that seemed to charm everyone. He looked sad, which was something new. Finnick Odair wasn't supposed to be sad. He dated all the cheerleaders and was the best swimmer on the high school's swim team. Annie would be at his school next year. She got nervous just thinking about it.
"Don't you ever think that our entire lives are just fake?" Finnick said, breaking the awkward silence between them.
"I don't really know what you mean," Annie whispered.
She hid her face with her brown hair and stared at the dandelions blooming in the grass. She was too scared to meet Finnick's eyes. What if she said something stupid? She was actually talking to the legendary Finnick Odair and knowing her, she would probably end up majorly embarrassing herself.
"It's like our lives are being planned out for us. Some outside force is controlling us and there's nothing we can do about it. We're just pawns in a game where no one wins. We're just being . . . used."
"Sometimes," Annie began, a little louder than before, "I think that life screws all of us over. The teenage years are these rough waters that are impossible to navigate. If you're not strong enough mentally, you don't make it out. And there are kids who have to be really smart and strong if they want to succeed. Life's a mystery, and we're the detectives. But in the end, there's no answer."
"Life plays with your mind and then you make decisions you regret later on. Everything sucks." Annie spoke.
"I wish people would stop judging us." Finnick replied.
"Me too. I wish people would notice that we're much more than our outside appearance. That even the most popular boys actually have thoughts and feelings and hobbies. That sometimes, people like to be alone."
He turned to Annie and smiled. "You understand. No one ever has."
"Yeah, I guess I do." Annie blushed, still unable to meet Finnick's eyes. "I guess it's because my entire life, people have hated me because I'm a little strange. I'm not like them. I never let it get to me before, but now everything that used to matter doesn't and everything that didn't matter before does. And it hurts, being insulted every day. No one even likes me."
"I do," Finnick said. His voice was a lot quieter than before. "I'm Finnick."
"I know. I mean, I'm Annie. Annie Cresta." Annie finally mustered up the courage to meet Finnick's eyes. They were a beautiful shade of green that were much like her own.
"I know. I've seen you around the neighborhood before. It's amazing to meet you."
There's always that one magical moment when everything goes right. Fireworks explode and two people instantly click. Their incandescent smiles light up everything around them. Two fates collide and everything is serene and close to perfect. This was that moment.
-x-
Once upon a time, love was about ice cream and cupcakes and nobody really cared about who or what you were in love with.
Annie and Finnick were slowly falling in love. They had this unspoken agreement that the two of them would meet at the park by the swings every Friday afternoon. Then they would talk about life and everything that was going on. Fridays were the only times when they could be themselves. No one was watching them.
They never did anything more than talk, and Annie liked to think that it was completely platonic. But Finnick was her friend, and she's never had a friend before that wasn't imaginary or a stuffed animal.
But the whole time, someone was watching, and before Finnick knew it, people were leaving notes in his locker calling him a pedophile. Annie received a few notes as well, calling her a slut and a whore. This was partly because other girls wanted Finnick to themselves, and partly because of the three year age difference between the two of them.
People judged her every day and all Annie wanted to do was run to the park and just talk to Finnick. He was actually willing to listen to her rants and he cared about what happened in her life. He knew all her little quirks and thought that she was perfect and didn't need to change.
When she talked, he would listen. He never interrupted her and tried to be supportive. No one else she ever knew would've done that, not even her parents. They're even worse than her classmates. All they've ever wanted was a perfect daughter. They thought she was abnormal. She was crazy and a disgrace to the family. They never let her attend any parties with their friends because she ruined the image of their perfect family.
But Finnick didn't find any fault in the panic attacks she had before tests, or in her habit of gazing into the distance and shutting everyone out.
Annie knew she shouldn't give into peer pressure. She knew she shouldn't let others get to her, but the insults stung and never went away. Even when she was eleven, she knew she was different and not exactly normal, but back then, she had been happy. Now, the fact that she'll never be accepted by her peers saddened her.
The feeling of being unwanted would never go away, no matter how many Finnicks there were to fix her.
-x-
Once upon a time, Christmas was a happy time.
It was winter and the temperature was way below freezing, but Annie and Finnick still kept up their ritual. There was going to be a blizzard soon. It had already begun snowing, light snowflakes that fell on Annie's eyelashes and blurred her vision. She went to the park anyway. She needed to talk to Finnick.
By the time she got to the park, it was snowing heavily but she trudged on and settled onto her swing. Finnick was already there, blowing on his glove-less hands in an attempt to keep them warm.
"All I want for Christmas," she mused, "is happiness. Is that really so much to ask for? I just want people to step back, and think about their actions. I want them to realize that I'm just as much of a person as they are and I have something called feelings, which people hurt. I want everyone to realize that I'm so much more than 'that strange girl.'"
"I know," Finnick said. "I wish the rumors about us would stop. I mean, is there really anything wrong with being with a girl three years younger than you? Does that really make me a pedophile? And you're not a slut, or a whore, or a bitch, Annie. Those girls that throw themselves at me are."
It was the first time someone had actually been nice to Annie Cresta and it felt different. Maybe it was enough to make her feel happy. But Christmas would never be the same again. She never got exactly what she wanted every year. No amount of Christmas cookies would glue her broken pieces back together. Her mother could gift her all the knit scarves in the world, but it wouldn't help. What she wanted was something money couldn't buy but was still almost impossible to get, at least for her.
"You know what?" she said, more to herself than to Finnick. "I like winter because it's cold. And when it's cold, I feel numb. I don't feel anything at all. No emotions, no pain. But then after a while, everything comes back to me, and it hurts even more."
She sighed and looked into Finnick's green eyes that were so much like her own. "Because that's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."
-x-
Once upon a time, Annie wasn't so broken.
It was nine o'clock at night and she was crying and screaming. She was running around the park like a maniac. She had pretty much gone insane, at this point.
Finnick was trying to calm her down but failing. All he could do was watch helplessly as the love of his life finally broke.
"I feel like there's no point in living anymore!" Annie was screaming. "I don't have any hobbies. I would join the school swim team, but everyone would laugh at me. No one even likes me and I know that they would all be happier if I died. Don't you understand? Nothing would change if I died. I know I'm only fourteen and have my entire life ahead of me, but it just feels empty. I just feel empty."
"Annie. I care. Isn't that enough? I care and I know everything about you and please, I wouldn't know what to do if you died. I would be broken if you died. It would affect me most of all."
Annie let out a laugh that echoed throughout the park. "I know you do. But no one else cared before, so why should they now?"
"I think I'm depressed," she continued."It's the kind of depression where you've dug yourself a hole, and you just keep slipping in further and further until finally, there's no way out. Nothing makes you smile anymore because you don't even know what happiness is. You haven't been happy in forever. There's nothing that you can do to help me, Finnick. To put me back together, you need all the pieces. And I don't have all the pieces."
"Don't," Finnick choked out. "Please. Annie, I love you."
"But they don't. And most importantly, I don't love myself. I've already given up, Finnick. Can't you see? I will never love myself for who I am, because who I am is just messed up. I'm sorry. I really, truly am."
"Do you remember when I told you that all I wanted for Christmas was happiness?" Annie asked. Finnick nodded. "Yeah, well, I never got what I wanted. And I never will get what I wanted. I don't know what happiness even feels like anymore. The only emotion I ever feel is sadness, with hints of loneliness. I keep telling myself that it's going to get better, but it doesn't. I can't do this anymore."
"Finnick," she said, her voice firm, "Promise me one thing. Have a good life. Move on. Pursue a career in swimming. Be happy. Move on."
"Annie - but you were the source of my happiness."
"You'll find a new source. You're stronger than I am."
The thing was that Finnick wasn't as strong as he appeared to be. All it took was one girl named Annie Cresta to break him. (At least they're broken together. But not for long.)
-x-
Once upon a time, Annie Cresta was alive.
Once upon a time, she burnt brightly, like a supernova.
Once upon a time, two kids had bright futures and lots of hope. (But you know what they say about hope . . . it breeds eternal misery.)
Once upon a time, love was kind and didn't rip your heart out and stomp on it.
Once upon a time, falling in love didn't hurt so much.
-x-
In the end, "once upon a time" was just a phrase, happily ever afters were just dreams, and fairytales only belonged in storybooks.
Annie's dead and Finnick's broken and that's not really considered a happy ending, is it?