Cycle of Violence Chapter 1, a fate/stay night fanfic

It wasn't Yotsuba Satsuki's fault. How could it be?

There wasn't a single (big or small) mean bone in Satsuki's chubby, not-so-little bbw body, and she'd never had anything but the best intentions in mind for her friends. So when she took her roommate Chao's golden watch, which she always kept on a very long chain and well stashed within their room, she hadn't done it behind Chao's back because she disrespected her at all. It was only because she genuinely wanted to give her dear academic and athletic genius friend a nice surprise before the Festival.

Chao had once or twice hinted she'd have to leave after the Festival, which greatly saddened Satsuki, but if there was nothing she could do to stop Chao, she could at least have that family heirloom Chao obviously treasured so much fixed before then. And if anyone in Mahora campus short of Chao and Satomi could fix a broken watch, that was Emiya Shirou-sempai.

"How odd," the red-haired older boy noted as he held the still watch in front of him. "It doesn't look damaged at all, but then again, often they don't. I'll try my best to have it repaired, Yotsuba-san," he promised the girl, who smiled adorably and nodded at him. Then he stuck the watch in the breastpocket of the jacket he had put on over his school clothes and swung his schoolbag over his shoulder. "I promise I'll take a good look at it as soon as I get back home."

The brown haired girl thanked him sincerely and then left to head towards the female dormitories. Shirou smiled to himself, sighed, and then headed his own way off as well. It was already kind of late, it was a very cold afternoon, and he'd better get a good night's sleep after looking into that watch, since he had a lot of work for the next day, too...

Regrettably, often things don't work out as we'd have wanted them to.

Emiya Shirou had a really bad evening after that. So far, he'd fallen asleep while leaving the school, been stabbed, somehow recovered but in extreme pain, been found by and ran all the way home from a maniac skeleton in fascistic uniform chasing and shooting at him, and was now bleeding to death in the storeroom in the back yard where his father had sometimes secretly taught him magic (at least until he gave up, moved by a combination of his own paralyzing physical weakness and Shirou's complete ineptitude at magic). And now…

"Are you… my Master?"

Now, things were just getting fucked up…

"Are you my Master?" the gorgeous young looking blonde in the long blue dress with armor plates and gauntlets repeated, with a voice that was cold and devoid of any feelings.

"Gah...!" Shirou blurted out.

"That is a 'Yes', then," the woman nodded. "Negatives are usually conveyed as 'Geh'..."

Then the wall behind her exploded into a million splinters, and something broke in, slamming into the girl like a train at full speed. However, somehow, the young female managed to block it with an armored glove, then to swiftly swing the blade she had been carrying up, slashing through a section of her attacker's decaying ribcage, although missing its center. The figure, which sure enough, was the self proclaimed Judge, backed away with a nasty, vicious cackle, a gun in each hand.

"Yesssssss!" he hissed. "It'd been too long ssssssince another hurt me. I've missssssed the pain, the sssssssharp caresssssssss of a bladed edge for ssssssssssso long..."

"Foul creature of darkness," the woman growled, keeping her sword ready and easily falling into a protective stand before Shirou. "I can detect your cruel killing intent even easier than I'd see the light of the sun in the middle of summer. And it's not even the dutiful urge to slay an enemy in war, is it?"

He trained his guns on her, although she didn't even flinch. "That'sssssss right. I'd kill every woman, child, elder and unborn in thisssss world if I had the chance. All are the ssssssame, for there are no innocentssssss. Life isssss a crime, the sssssentence isssssss death! Ffffor Nekron!"

And he opened fire.

A split moment later, Shirou felt an explosive charge bursting into his chest, past the strange lady's defenses, which felt even worse than being stabbed. Not only because the expansive effect of the explosion rippled through more of his flesh and vital organs than a blade would have, but because he was sure that shooter had just destroyed the expensive watch that ever nice kohai from the Chao Bao Zi had entrusted to him...

Then the whole world went stark white.

Fate/Stay Night, Fate Hollow Ataraxia, Fate Zero, Fate EXTRA, Fate Extella, Fate Apocrypha, Fate Strange Fake, Fate Prototype, Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya and Fate Grand Order are creations and properties of Type-Moon.

Cycle of Violence.

Another alternate vision of the Unequally Rational and Emotional universe.

Inspired by 'What if (Almost) Everybody was Shirou's Servant' by Mereo Flere.

Chapter One: My House is Your House... and Yours... and Yours... and...

Emiya Shirou had been having a really bad evening. So far, he'd fallen asleep while leaving the school, woken up from a really bad nightmare of staring in a Twilight movie only to move to a more pleasant dream of being stabbed and shot, been stabbed, somehow recovered but in extreme pain, been found by and ran all the way home from a maniac skeleton in a fascistic uniform chasing and shooting at him, and was now bleeding to death in the storeroom in the backyard where his father had sometimes secretly taught him magic (at least until he gave up, moved by a combination of his own paralyzing physical weakness and Shirou's complete ineptitude at magic). Just like in his nightmare. But now, things were starting to change at last…

"Are you… my Master?"

Now, things were just getting truly fucked up…

"Please tell me. Are you my Master?" repeated the girl with light short hair, which fell in bangs that hid most of her cute rather than gorgeous pale face. She wore a form hugging black ensemble of body armor that actually showed off a lot of her curvaceous, rather well-stacked physique, complete with tall boots.

In her hand she held a gigantic thick shield that looked like someone had taken a massive table apart and started carrying it around for protection. It was easily bigger than the young woman herself, and almost touched Shirou's ceiling.

"Gah...!" Shirou blurted out.

"Excuse me, Sempai?" the girl blinked. "I'm afraid that doesn't answer anything, and while I'm almost sure you're my Master, I still need a-"

Then the wall behind her exploded into a million splinters, and something broke in, ramming towards the girl like a train at full speed. However, somehow, the young female managed to block it with her gigantic shield, then to swiftly swing it as if it weighed nothing, smashing through a section of her attacker's decaying ribcage, although missing its center. The figure, which sure enough was the self proclaimed Judge, backed away with a nasty, vicious cackle, a gun in each hand.

"Yesssssss!" he hissed. "It'd been too long ssssssince another hurt me. I've missssssed the pain, the crusssshhing caresssssssss of a blunt battering forcccce for ssssssssssso long..."

The girl frowned, firmly stepping in between the undead creature and the startled Shirou. "Who are you?!" she demanded. "And why are you after this man?! I won't allow you to harm any innocents as long as I draw breath!"

The Judge cackled insanely. "Issssss thhhhat sssssso? Good to know!" He trained his guns on her, although she didn't even flinch. "You sssshould know your petty concernsssss are pointlessss anyway, for there are no innocentssssss. Life isssss a crime, the sssssentence isssssss death! Foooor The SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOSSSSSSSSS Brigade!"

And he opened fire.

This time, however, Shirou's chest didn't explode into a shower of gore and bone, much to his relief. For the girl with the shield had easily blocked every bullet, shouting bravely "Don't worry, Sempai, I'll protect you!"

It was really impressive; Shirou had watched footage of that new super-heroine Wonder Woman in TV recently, and while seeing her block heavy gunfire with her bracelets had been incredible, seeing this up close and personal was even more awe-inspiring. His mouth hung open, and he was so distracted by the larger than life display of raw defensive power, saving his life against every bullet that flew his way, that he didn't even notice when Judge, with a bitter scoff, disappeared in a puff of sulfurous smoke, only to instantly reappear right behind him and shoot him through the back.

A split moment later, Shirou felt an explosive charge bursting into his back, making its way right through his torso, which felt even worse than being stabbed or shot in the chest. Not only because the expansive effect of the explosion rippled through even more of his flesh and vital organs than before, but because he was sure that, when the blast came all the way over through his chest, the shooter had once again just destroyed the expensive watch that ever-so-nice kohai from the Chao Bao Zi had entrusted to him...

Then the whole world went stark white.

Emiya Shirou had been having a really bad evening. So far, he'd fallen asleep while leaving the school, woken up with really bad nightmares of being stabbed and shot twice, been stabbed, somehow recovered but in extreme pain-

No. Screw that! He wasn't going back home yet again only to run into the same skeleton man again! This time he'd head over directly for Issei's dorm room, taking a different route. He wasn't taking any more risks, at least not until he figured things out.

As the universe didn't have that much time in it, it's a good thing something else happened.

He was still found by and had to run from a maniac skeleton in a fascistic uniform chasing and shooting at him, and was now bleeding to death in a small playground for children on the way over to the male dormitories. He supported himself on the Emperor Penguin slide, gasping for air and coughing blood up, feeling his eyesight failing him and his mind spinning in fire. Almost just like in his nightmare. But now, things were starting to change again…

"Are you… my Master?"

Now, things were getting truly fucked up a third time over…

"Seriously?" dubiously added the lean, yet strong-looking tall man with dark electric-blue hair, wearing a form fitting outfit that clung to each muscle, making Shirou feel oddly uncomfortable inside for a moment. "You are my Master? Man, what does Fate have against me, I wonder...?"

Before Shirou could protest against the slight to the best of his diminished capacities, the fence behind them exploded into a million small pieces and something broke in, ramming towards the fabulous looking man like a train at full speed. However, somehow, the sexy man managed to block it with his very long spear, swiftly swinging the mighty rod then trusting forward firmly, piercing through a section of his attacker's decaying flesh, although missing its center. The figure, which sure enough, was the self proclaimed Judge fucking again, backed away with a nasty, vicious cackle, a gun in each hand.

"Yesssssss!" he hissed. "It'd been too long ssssssince another hurt me. I've missssssed the pain, the sssssssharp caresssssssss of a lance going through me for ssssssssssso long...! AH! MOOOOREEE!"

"That sounded so gay," the stranger in tights disapproved, although that was quite old fashioned from someone dressed like him. "Anyway, in the event this fellow is my Master, I can't let you harm him, you vile creature! He may be as gay looking as you sound, but a good Hound remains loyal no matter the Master's faults! Besides," he fixed a crooked grin, "you may be able to provide a half-decent fight! So bring it on, bag of bones!"

The Judge cackled insanely. "Issssss thhhhat sssssso? Ssssso full of yyyourssselffff!" He trained his guns on him, although he didn't even flinch. Shirou did, and a lot, however. "You've been found guilty! Of boasssting, of prejudiccce, of closssse mindedenessss, but mosssstly, offff living! Life isssss a crime, the sssssentence isssssss death!"

And he opened fire.

A split moment later, Shirou felt another explosive charge bursting in his chest, past the strange man's defenses, bringing back the by now familiar sensation of something even worse than a stabbing. Not only because the expansive effect of the explosion rippled through more of his flesh and vital organs than a blade would have, but because he was sure that shooter had just destroyed, YET AGAIN, the expensive watch that ever nice kohai from the Chao Bao Zi had entrusted to him...

"Oh my God!" the man in tights gasped. "You've just killed my Master! You aren't human!"

Then the Judge shot him through the forehead.

And the whole world went stark white.

No. Screw that! He wasn't going leaving the building yet again only to run into the same skeleton man a fourth time! This time he'd finally do something smart like calling for help, call the police, the real heroes of Mahora City. He wasn't taking any more risks, at least not until he figured things out.

"Hello?"

"Hello, it's Emiya Shirou from the Academy. May I talk with Commissioner Kosaka, please? Please tell him it's Kiritsugu's son..."

"Commissioner Kosaka is a very busy man, sir," the operator told him. "Please tell us what's your emergency."

"Um, ah, you'll see, I've been attacked by this man... wearing a skeleton costume, and holding a gun..."

He had watched movies! He wouldn't be Emiya Shirou enough to dumbly tell them he'd been shot thrice by an actual ghost skeleton like that urban legend from New York! Then they'd take him for a nut, just like in those movies, and ask him whether the skeleton had a cool bike and a flaming skull before telling him to call the Justice Society and hanging up just in time for him to get killed to the busy tone...

"I see. Are you sure that's not a prank from one of the clubs, sir? They are normally harmless, unless it's the SOS Brigade, in that case we'll make sure to sending you a SWAT team..."

"I, I'm not sure he belongs to any clubs, he doesn't really look like he's too social... OH CRAP HE'S HERE!"

If Mohammed wouldn't come to the mountain, the mountain would come to Mohammed, apparently. He had still been found by and had to run from a maniac skeleton in a fascistic uniform chasing and shooting at him, and was now bleeding to death in the empty lot behind the Midori-ya Cafe. He supported himself on a fence, gasping for air and coughing blood up, feeling his eyesight failing him and his mind spinning in fire. He tried to call out for the owners of the cafe, who lived nearby enough, but his voice just wouldn't come out like he wanted it to. And now, things were starting to change again…

"Are you… my Master?"

Now, things were getting truly fucked up a fourth time over…

And as you know, Four Means Death, especially to a Japanese!

This death was strangely cute for a change, however. Shirou supposed that was kind of a change for the best, at the very least...

They were two little girls, approximately ten years old each. One of them wore a long white dress with dark blue trimmings that looked similar to the elementary school uniform, her light reddish hair made in long twin tails tied with white ribbons. The other one was a blonde, dressed up in a tight, skimpy black unitard with tall black boots, purple microskirt, and a cape around her shoulders. It hardly was the most fitting attire for someone her age. One felt like a pervert just looking at her.

"W-Wait," Shirou coughed weakly, squinting towards the brown-red haired girl. He thought he recognized her. "Aren't you... Nanoha-chan...? From the cafe...?"

The girl blinked several games, looking confused as her partner gasped in surprise. "Ah? W-Well, I, I don't know how you could know that, Master! Because you're our Master, right? We are Servant Magical Girl (x2), and-!"

"G-Get out!" he urged them. "Go away! Go to your parents, and, and c-call the police, and tell them-!"

Before Shirou could further elaborate to the best of his diminished capacities, the fence behind them exploded into one million small spliners, and something broke in, ramming towards the innocent lolis like a train at full speed. However, somehow, the blond little girl managed to block it with his very long and sinister scythe, then to swiftly swing it as if it weighed nothing, piercing through a section of his attacker's decaying ribcage, although missing its center. The figure, which sure enough, was the self proclaimed Judge fucking again, backed away with a nasty, vicious cackle, a gun in each hand.

"Yesssssss!" he hissed. "It'd been too long ssssssince another hurt me. I've missssssed the pain, the sssssssharp caresssssssss of a lance going through me for ssssssssssso long..."

"Master, be careful," a male voice warned, coming out of the blonde's scythe. "This creature's readings don't match those of a Jewel Seed. I'm currently performing a search for any matches, but-"

"It's okay, Bardiche," the little girl quietly said as the other loli came to her side, staff in hand, both of them taking a firm stand together between Judge and the wheezing, groaning Shirou. "Who are you?! In the name of the Time and Space Administration Bureau and the Holy Grail itself, you are commanded to surrender immediately! Do so or suffer the consequences!" she warned quite sternly for someone so small and adorable.

The Judge cackled insanely. "Issssss thhhhat sssssso? Ssssso full of yyyourssselvesssss!" He trained his guns on them, although the girls didn't even flinch. Shirou did, and a lot, however. "Do you thhhhink I care if you're children? I'd kill every woman, child, elder and unborn in thisssss world if I had the chance. All are the ssssssame, for there are no innocentssssss. Life isssss a crime, the sssssentence isssssss death!"

And he opened fire.

This time, Shirou tried to reach into his breast pocket and pull the watch out in time, but before he could, he felt the explosive charge bursting into his chest and taking his hand along as well now, yet again blowing the watch he'd been trusted with into pieces. He really needed to wise up against that already, it wasn't his damn watch after all...

Then the whole world went stark white.

Oh, shit. He was simply fucked no matter whatever he did, right?

He sat there thinking, trying desperately to find a solution for his predicament, but since the universe didn't have that much time in it before long he had been found by and had to run again from a maniac skeleton in a fascistic uniform chasing and shooting at him, and was now bleeding to death a couple blocks away from the building where Headmaster Konoe kept his offices. He supported himself on a wall, gasping for air and coughing blood up, feeling his eyesight failing him and his mind spinning in fire. He tried to call out for the staffers of the building, since there had to be working there at the time, like a security guard or something, but his voice just wouldn't come out like he wanted it to.

"I... I don't want to die..." he lamented to himself, lowering his head while the sidewalk under him began glowing.

And now, things were starting to change again…

"Are you… my Master?"

Shirou had collapsed on his stomach, trying to get back up by supporting himself on a pair of shiny black boots. Those boots were in the feet of a very, very tall and well muscled man with dark skin and white hair, although he seemed to still be young otherwise. He also wore black pants and shirt, with a long red badass overcoat hanging from his torso, although someone seemed to have stolen the middle part. The first thing that struck Shirou about him, since he was heterosexual and dying but not wholly blind yet, was how handsome and imposing he looked, and that made him lose even more coherence long enough for the stranger to repeat, showing even more disgust than the man in tights, "Are you my Master? Seriously? Oh, for fuck's sake!"

Then a macabre figure came at full speed up the street, ramming towards the tanned man like a train at full speed. However, somehow, the tall man managed to block it very easily with nothing but a casual turn of a wrist, where he now held a short blade, piercing and hacking cruelly through a section of his attacker's decaying ribcage, although missing its center. The figure, which sure enough, was the self proclaimed Judge FUCKING AGAIN, backed away with a nasty, vicious cackle, a gun in each hand.

"Yesssssss!" he hissed. "It'd been too long ssssssince another hurt me. I've missssssed the pain, the sssssssharp caresssssssss of a dagger going through me for ssssssssssso l-"

The tall man silenced him by raising a hand and quietly saying, "Don't bother."

"-huh?" Judge said.

The tall man smirked, picking Shirou up by his collar. "I'm going to enjoy this," he said, before plunging one of his short blades through Shirou's heart, which at least wasn't as painful as getting shot with explosive charges. The tall man kept on smiling smugly as he watched the life slowly ebbing away from the wounded teenager. "Well, that was easy enough... Wait," he gasped, losing the smile as he saw the broken remains of the watch slipping down and out of Shirou's sliced breast pocket. "Cassiopeia?! What the hell are you doing with Cassiopeia?!"

Then the whole world went stark white.

Emiya Shirou had been having a really bad even-

"No," Shirou growled.

But-

"No," Shirou repeated with a driven, almost animal ferocity.

With a broomstick and a mop in a hand, both of which had been Reinforced to the best of his limited capacities, the red-haired boy stood his ground before his classroom's door, in the middle of the deserted hallway, waiting for his foe to show up.

"I won't flee anymore!" he swore. "Are you testing me? Then let's get over with this! I've already died over and over, you can't scare me anymore! I have no idea what kind of twisted game are you playing here, but I'm fed up with it, you hear me?! So show up already and let's finish it!"

With a hiss of pestilent smoke, the maniac skeleton in fascistic uniform appeared before him, floating above the hallway with a large gun in each hand. "Whhhhhat do we have hhhhere?" it hissed. "A tardy boy, out ssssso long affffter the curffffew? Naughty boysssss sssshould be punissssshed! Ssssso let'ssss-"

"Cut it out, I tell you!" the annoyed Shirou told him. "Honestly, how can you be so much of a pompous jerk? Do you wake up practicing that overacting in front of a mirror?"

Judge grimaced, visibly upset by his reaction. "H-How did you...?"

Shirou through his head back and spoke, in a perfect imitation of Judge's voice and mannerisms, "I'd kill every woman, child, elder and unborn in thisssss world if I had the chance. All are the ssssssame, for there are no innocentssssss. Life isssss a crime, the sssssentence isssssss death!"

The confused Judge paused. "Hhhhow... Hhhhow did you know what I wasssss going to sssaay...?"

"Not only are youe the evil I've sworn to oppose," Shirou pointed the mop at him, "but you're also an unbearable ham full of himself! If I have to listen to that absurd speech one more time I'll kill myself, but not before kicking your sorry butt! I'm sick of your idiotic nihilism already, got that?!"

"I hhhhave no idea what are you ssssaying, we've never met before," Judge said, "but ifffff you're that eager to meet your maker, I'll happily sssssend you to him! Sssssssay goodbye, boy..."

And he took aim at Shirou.

But then, the tiles under the boy glowed again, and he felt the back of his hand burning as if it had just been stuck into a fireplace. Over the past few days he'd had a slight recurring rash there, and now that he thought about it, it'd grown worse every time he was killed, it was just he hadn't thought much on it with all the more urgent matters going on around the same time, like getting killed repeatedly. But now it was bigger than ever, to the point of eclipsing everything else, and in that moment, the ground exploded under him in massive flash of white light...

"What...?!" Judge screamed, as a figure dropped from above, through the ceiling that had just had a major section of it exploding into fine dust.

"KNEEL!" shouted the large man just dropping by, madly grinning from ear to ear while unloading a pair of large guns into the shrieking Judge's body as if he were that poor, mentally unstable man who used to go around shooting people wearing a skull shirt before the Joker had killed him. He looked rather similar to the tanned man who'd killed Shirou earlier, or later, but with even darker skin, thinner lips, narrower eyes and shorter white hair. It was like he was a person of a completely different ethnicity! His black jacket was open, revealing a muscular torso with no undershirt, and there was no red in his clothes' color patterns.

"Wesley Snipes?!" Shirou gasped as the man landed on his feet between him and Judge, and his shock grew further when, in several beams of light coming from the same new hole in the ceiling, came the blond woman, the short haired girl, the man in tights, the two lolitas, and the murderous stranger in red and black from before, all quickly taking stands in front of him, ready to attack.

It seemed quite unbalanced and unfair all of a sudden, which immediately bothered Shirou's sense of decency and fair play.

"Sempai, stay behind me!" the short haired girl commanded, stepping back to cover him and herself with her shield. "I promise I won't let harm befall you this time!"

"What a bother..." sighed the earlier tanned man, swinging his short blades around. "Not only would the Counter Force not let me leave the job unfinished, but it also had to send a second rater as well..."

"Hey," his even darker counterpart chuckled grisly, reloading his guns in as flashy a way as he could manage, "this wouldn't have been necessary if you hadn't flunked it, has-been. I can smell the failure right offa you..."

"This is no time for discussions!" shouted the girl in the blue dress, swinging around... something that appeared to make the air ripple, even if no actual weapon was visible. "Not as long as evil stands! Let us strike him quick and decisively!"

"Actually, he isn't standing, but floating..." observed the little girl in the white dress, blasting the guns out off Judge's hands easily as her friend swung against his midsection, pushing him back as bones flew in all directions. "But either way, must we eliminate him? Maybe we could talk it over..."

"Kill you!" Judge shouted frantically. "Kill you all, freakssss and abominationsssss! Your livessss disssgusssst me, for you're guilty! For life'ssssss a crime, and the sssssentenccce'sssss-!"

"You first, Hanging-Boy!" Wesley Snipes sneered venomously, dashing forward, producing a large twisted blade, and pushing it up and through Judge's jaw, closing his mouth much to everyone else's relief. "Welcome to Archer Alter's chamber of executions, choose your poison! How about a classic? Decapitation!"

He twisted the blade and cut the Judge's head off its neck, making Shirou wince as the helmeted skull rolled across the floor, its body still clawing around insanely, looking to slash and cut. The less extreme version of Wesley Snipes was already cutting off one of its arms, however, and the small woman with the blond bun did the same to the other, its weapon no less effective regardless of its invisibility.

"You fuckerssss!" the skull spat. "You vermin, you sssshall pay for thissss! You can't deny the Dark Judgesssss, we will end up coming ffffor you no matter wha-!"

"And I shall be looking at you in the eye then, foul one!" the woman in the dress promised, bringing the invisible sword down and obliterating the skull into dust in a single, determined motion. Judge's armless body twitched and jerked, then plopped back and vanished from sight altogether even before it could touch the damaged tiles.

And just like that, it was over.

"What..." Shirou mouthed off, rattled out of his mind, eyes impossibly wide.

Wesley Snipes gave another raspy chuckle, holstering his guns back at his sides. "Nice li'l cliche there, Doll," he said. "Of course, if anyone can live up to that kind of promise, that'd be you..."

"If you say so," she coldly told him before looking back at Shirou, her look softening. "And you must indeed be my Master, then? You are too special to be just an average bystander in these ugly affairs..."

"Who would've thought it, huh?" mused the man with the spear, casually batting Judge's severed arms away with his weapon before they, too, evaporated. "I mean, I wouldn't have thought so. Must be one of those cases of great potential, but no development to speak of..."

The man in red and black looked dryly at him. "And talking about people with great unused potential. Would it have killed you give a bit more help, Lancer?"

The leaner man shrugged. "I don't find any special pleasure in ganging up against a weaker foe. Once I saw you had it in the bag, I saw no point in joining in. Well, boy?" he shifted his attention back to Shirou. "Do you have a name, or do we start calling you 'Open Mouth'?"

"Lancer-san, please," the girl with the shield and the loli in white sighed, the former adding, "show some respect! I'm sorry, Open Mouth-san, I'm sure Lancer means well."

"Ah..." the boy gasped. "I am... My, my name's Emiya Shirou! And you, you are...?"

The woman in the dress fell to a knee before him, lowering her head formally. "Saber, Servant of the Sword. Hereby I pledge my unconditional allegiance to y- Wait, did you just say 'Emiya'?"

"Sure sounded like it, huh?" the man in the long coat asked. "As for me, well, I'm Archer..."

"That's funny, I was under the impression I was Archer," Wesley Snipes said. "Since clearly only one of us is needed here, I think it's time for you to scram..."

"Make me," the other Archer frowned at him.

"Well, if you insist..."

"Please! Don't fight, don't fight!" Shirou requested. Then he looked suspiciously at the first Archer. "What, you don't want to kill me anymore?"

"Who ever said that?" Archer asked back. "Of course I want to, it's just I obviously can't. Well, not at least until I've figured this out." Before the others could protest on it, Archer flippantly pointed towards the man in tights. "As long as my instincts hold to any degree at all, this here is a Lancer, the lady with the shield is a Shielder Class Servant, and the girls are... um, well, that's a bit more difficult..." He rubbed his chin in troubled thought. "Casters, right?"

"Magical Girl (x2)!" the girls shouted as one, although one of them sounded more childishly upset, and the other more plainly annoyed.

Archer paused. "... okay. That's a thing that exists, now? Huh, figures. And this poser here is, if I'm not mistaken, some sort of Archer Alter..."

"Oh, some little boy's done his homework," Archer Alter mocked.

Archer stared harshly at him. "Alters are by their own nature tainted by evil. I won't trust fighting by the side of any corrupt monstrosities."

Archer Alter laughed. "You'll never trust fighting by anyone's side, period! I know your type all too well!"

"At least he didn't try to kill me," Shirou coldly told Archer.

"Oh, he will, believe me," Archer told him, never taking his eyes off his dangerously grinning counterpart. "Not that I'll be shedding any tears if he beats me to it. In the meanwhile, though..."

"Yes?" Saber said when Archer thoughtfully trailed off, gathering his ideas and questions.

Finally, he spoke again, and the question was what the other Servants had in their own minds as well, "How have you done all of that, anyway? Summoning us all, when it should have been simply impossible for anyone?"

Unfortunately for Shirou, that was a question he shared himself.

"I thought this night would never end," Shirou admitted with an extremely tired sigh as they marched down the darkened streets of the campus, towards the Emiya household. The Servants might have made the walk there in their astral forms, invisible to the naked human eye, but after everything that had transpired, they wanted to be ready to join any fight, should an ambush arise on the way. Even if they were seen in their outlandish clothes, they always could say they were cosplayers practicing for the upcoming School Festival.

That excuse always worked. Why, some people practiced cosplaying for the school festival all year round!

Besides, Saber had reluctantly mentioned something about being unable to take a spirit form, which made Lancer and Archer Alter raise their eyebrows in interest, but Shirou was frankly too rattled to be capable of minding it too much for the time being.

At some point, Saber asked the silent, contemplative Shielder, "I've wanted to ask you this, what is the nature of your shield? I... once knew a warrior who owned one that was identical, even with the same all encompassing defense properties yours was displaying. But it would seem unlikely you would be his incarnation."

"Um, you see, it's a long story, and please forgive me if I don't feel like sharing it out in the open," Shielder meekly said, averting her gaze. "Sorry."

Saber studied her carefully, her own face unreadable. "That certainly is your right," she finally said, evenly.

"Geez," Lancer sneered out a corner of his mouth, his spear slung over his shoulders. "It's bad enough I'm summoned along with a bunch of mana drainers competing with my share from an obviously empty well, but did they have to be this depressing too? Anyone would think we're coming from a funeral. Try to keep your spirits up! We have just had a victory!"

"Curious how you would include yourself in that group," Archer Alter noted, "when all you did was swat two broken arms out of the way. But yeah, you guys are a bore! What if we go hit a bar and see who comes out of the woodwork for us? I feel like finishing this War in a single night!"

"Please. No more violence for tonight," Shirou asked through gritted teeth. "Maybe you find what happened today entertaining, but not me. I just want to go home, think things through, and see what can we do about your situation tomorrow..."

"That's awfully considerate of you, showing so much concern for our future, Master," the Magical Girl who was an exact lookalike of the Takamachis' daughter nodded. "Thank you, we're really fortunate to have you!"

"Um, thank you... Nanoha-chan, right?" Shirou rasped, his tone softening when he spoke to her. "And your friend is..."

"Just calling me 'Magical Girl' will suffice, Master," the small blonde said, polite but distant.

The other half of her duo pouted. "Mou, F-"

"Nanoha," her partner softly interrupted her, "I respect your decisions, and I realize Master had already figured your identity out from the start, but please, I don't feel comfortable sharing my own secrets around people who won't share theirs."

"I can't be blamed," Archer piously said, "I seem to have partial amnesia. No doubt a result of an improper summoning!"

"Yeah. Me too. Whatever," Archer Alter shrugged.

Lancer scowled at them. "You two are just as bad at telling lies, did you know that...? Brothers! You have to be brothers, that much's obvious! Romulus and Remus, right?"

"Why would either Romulus or Remus carry around guns?" Nanoha asked, pointing at the holsters on Alter's hips.

Archer huffed. "I have no brothers, that much I know! Thank Heavens."

"That'd be my line, except 'cause I'm an Atheist," Alter huffed even more gruffly, as if trying to outdo his counterpart. Nanoha thought that was rather childish.

In a different continutiy, Kuro and Illya sneezed.

Shielder sighed. "I have no problems sharing my actual identity with you. My birth name is Mashu Kyrielight."

"How do you pronounce that?" Shirou asked.

"Forget the pronunciation," Lancer snapped, "what kind of Servant are you then, Shielder? There's no famous name like that anywhere in the recorded human history, as far as the Grail bothered to inform me!"

"As I said," Shielder lowered her gaze again, "long story. My apologies, Sir."

"It's bad form for a Servant to lie," Lancer sighed, wagging a finger at her almost paternally. "You could end up like the Archers."

"Hey!" the Archers protested.

"You barely know them, you should at least give them the benefit of doubt," Saber advised Lancer. "You have to admit, the circumstances behind our summoning were... far from normal. There's no way of telling how that might have altered the way we have manifested."

"Sorry," Shirou miserably said, with his hands in his pockets. "That's my fault, I guess, even if I can't figure out how..."

"That's fair with me," Alter said.

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day," Archer added.

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to figure out exactly how you screwed us up, Master, so please don't worry," Lancer reassured him.

"That's... a very bad way to comfort someone, Lancer-san," Nanoha said before patting the downcast Shirou's back. "There, there, Master, none of this is your fault, how could it be? After all, it's not like you have control over the way time works or anything like that. We'll work together to learn who's behind this, and then-!"

Then Archer Alter tensed up, coming to a sudden halt, the twin handguns apparently sliding out his sleeves and into his hands. "Shut up, idiots! Another Servant. Or something like one, at least. It's approaching from the West."

"Yes," Shielder said, stepping right before the startled Shirou to protect him. "I can feel them now, as well."

"So soon, too," the blonde Magical Girl sighed, mildly exasperated. "At least we have an edge in numbers, but—"

"He's here," Archer growled, pulling his dual short blades out and assuming a battle stance as a tall blond figure hopped from the shadows to land on top of a nearby lamppost, casually dressed in a black biking jacket, shirt and casual jeans, smirking down lazily at them. "Oh crap, it had to be him."

"Archer!" Saber hissed, her own sword on the ready.

Shirou blinked. "Um, another Archer, you mean?" he poked a thumb towards the tanned men. "Are you guys so cheap you come in packs of three or what?"

The newcomer laughed in a way Shirou felt it was supposed to be light and casual, but came off as terribly disturbing. "What an imbecile! Didn't you learn anything about the previous War before walking into this one? I was the Fourth Grail Archer, but any mongrel can have the role now if they want it. I have no need or desire for it anymore. Greetings, Saber. I never expected to see you again. What a wonderful gift twist of fate!"

"Ah. An ex-boyfriend?" the Magical Girl with the scythe asked Saber.

"He wishes!" Saber roared. "Why are you here, Archer?"

He leaned aside, despite the fact there was nothing on which to lean next to him but thin air, as if he owned the place and everything in it. Including the people. Especially the people. "Why wouldn't I? I currently reside here."

Saber smirked harshly. "Do you? A lowly abode for such a supposedly great king, wouldn't you say? Or have you finally learned something in the way of humility?"

"Yeah, definitely exes," the Lancer said, and the smaller blonde nodded sagely.

"We're not!" Saber growled.

"I wouldn't know anything on the subject, I grew up in isolation!" Shielder immediately claimed innocence. "I most definitely didn't learn how to hack into computers to watch porn or anything!"

"Same here," Magical Girl said quickly. Both looked equally innocent, that is to say, not at all.

"What's porn?" Nanoha asked.

The former Archer tapped on his forehead with a playful finger, as smugly as he did everything else. "What can I say? My mere presence here already makes this the most wonderful of royal palaces. And I take offense at the presence of mongrels and cockroaches in it."

"Oh, actually, we were about to leave anyway, dear Sir," Shielder pleasantly said. "You have a lovely place here, Not-Archer-san, if I may say so. But if you truly don't have anything to do with the Grail War anymore, we'll just be on our way without bothering y-"

"I don't think so," he interrupted her. "You don't get to decide when you'll leave. It is only for me to —"

"Still willing to settle personally, just between the two of us, what we left hanging ten years before, Archer?" Saber cut him short in turn. "Fine by me, but on one condition. Let's leave them out of what should be our personal duel. A long stalled match of honor like this should be honored properly."

The man's smile gained a downright 'molester' edge that sent blaring alarms all through Shirou. "Why, Saber! I'm so pleased you would show such an interest! Then, gladly I take your noble offer to become my bride through combat. The grace of a king is above obsessing over petty interlopers, after all!"

Emiya Shirou had not been having a good night at all, that much should be obvious by now.

He had, however, reached all new lows of suffering when the alleged Ex-Archer's arrogance annoyed the Lancer enough to try and dispatch him. Lancer had very quickly objected to being left out of one of the battles for the Holy Grail with a swiftness and agility that surprised Shirou. As did Lancer's capacity to absorb brutal amounts of ungodly physical punishment, which was displayed almost immediately by the blond man, who haughtily took a moment to announce himself as Gilgamesh, First and Greatest of all Kings and Heroes (his actions, in Shirou's opinion, had nothing heroic at all about them. Kingly, but not heroic).

It was astonishing to see how he could easily matched Lancer's impressive looking spear with nothing but a seemingly average wooden practice sword he had on him. It wasn't that Gilgamesh had a lot of skill, far from it, but he more than compensated his unpolished martial aptitude and modest weapon of choice with a terrifying raw power and velocity Shirou had never witnessed before.

The constant golden shower of exploding weapons also helped a little.

Lancer, to his credit, was undeterred, only grumbling something that sounded foreign, very likely European, and redoubled his efforts on the gold haired warrior, coming closer to actually spearing him through with his own breakneck speed, but still failing abysmally. He would have been killed if Saber had not jumped to his aid.

That did it, and all hell broke loose, the Servants ganging up on Gilgamesh. For all the good it did them.

Without really straining himself, almost toying with them, the odd Servant took on Shielder, Saber, Archer, Archer Alter and the weakened Lancer all at once. Well, sort of. Shielder stayed mostly behind, knowing when she was outmatched and mostly exerting herself to keep her Master safe. Archer Alter was mostly an extra inconvenience for the rest of the team, his savage attacks and inability to care about who was in his line of fire becoming almost as big liability in the battle as Gilgamesh's own actions. Much like Shielder, Archer seemed more on the defensive, as if knowing he was in a fight he couldn't win, even if he was more aggressive and managed to press Gilgamesh better. He and Saber made a surprisingly good team, but sadly not good enough.

The Magical Girls were having better success at avoiding damage by virtue of seemingly great long range attacks, staying out of Archer's immediate field while blasting at him from above, but he mostly avoided everything they threw at him with ease. Saber could tell they were holding themselves back, as well; she estimated they could just carpet bomb the battleground from the sky, but that would most likely have killed Shirou and hurt the rest of the Servants in the process.

"I grow bored," Gilgamesh had finally sighed, gesturing with a hand in a way that conveyed sheer casual power. After a brief declaration Shirou couldn't hear over the sounds of Archer Alter's savage shooting and the Magical Girls' blasting, he finished with something Emiya recognized as, "Gate of Babylon."

Most of them, if not all, would have died if Shielder hadn't dashed forward, using her huge shield to block most of the onslaught that followed, absorbing the majority of the hits from the more gigantic barrage of weapons raining over the battlefield, while the most agile members of the impromptu party had to scurry away with the others. A gasping Nanoha was caught by her partner in the nick of time and taken from immediate danger as poor, unfortunate Lancer took the brunt of the nonstop discharge from the Gate of Babylon, and even so, the grievously wounded Servant still had enough power to charge towards his enemy, threatening to rip him apart with a last defiant roar of agonized fury.

"YOU BASTAAAAARD!" Lancer cried before the storm of weapons dropping on him finished him off, making him explode in a flurry of small shiny particles that quickly dissipated in the air.

"Oh my gosh, you've killed Lancer!" Nanoha shouted. "You aren't human!"

Shirou, impressed by such display of might even as Shielder clenched her teeth and strained herself to protect him from the impact of every piece of Gilgamesh's arsenal hitting her shield, honestly thought Archer Alter had an opening then. Sneaking past and under Gilgamesh's barrage, running in zig-zag while the blond man laughed hysterically, the Alter came awfully close from a side, grinning as he flashed his guns out, and Shirou thought he was going to kill him for sure...

But then Gilgamesh mouthed an amused ''Enkidu," and chains sprouted from the ground all around Alter, tightening themselves around him to such a degree the dark skinned man was immobilized despite his attempts to break free. Then, while he growled and kicked around in a just as futile attempt to escape the chains' grasp, Gilgamesh pierced him through twenty two times with an identical amount of bladed weapons, finally managing to skewer him out before anyone could stop him.

And then, the unmatched Servant paused as Alter slowly disappeared before him, and fixed his eyes and serpentine smirk on Saber once more.

Shirou tried to advance between them despite his body refusing to obey, and Saber stood her ground courageously, never taking her icy glare from the confidently advancing blonde, who almost strode playfully towards her. But just as Gilgamesh was about to move in for another kill, someone slid behind Shirou, grabbed him by the neck, and stabbed him through the heart, also breaking through the watch in the breast pocket in the process.

"ARCHER!" Shielder gasped in horror, her head swinging back towards them. "What have you done?!-?!"

"Emiya," Archer hissed in the mortally wounded boy's ear with an extremely troubled voice, holding him steady as the short blade went even deeper. "The watch is the key. With it, you can turn time back. But you'd better man up if you want all of us to survive this night!"

For a moment, before he could apologize as best as he could, Shirou lost consciousness again.

And once more, the universe disappeared in a stark white flash.

"Well, so it worked, thank you then," Lancer casually said as they left the building again after defeating the Judge, now with a new shared set of rather disturbing memories. "But how did it work?"

Shirou, sweating profusely, had an eyebrow giving occasional small twitches as he walked with a stiff, mechanical cadence to it. "By killing me, apparently... now it's all about killing me, right...?"

"The watch our Master was entrusted with before summoning the first of us," Archer shared without minding too much about Shirou's shaken state of mind, "is some sort of highly advanced time manipulation tool. Through some incredible coincidence, it would seem, his summoning of Saber took place at roughly the same time as his death and the watch's destruction, triggering a stable time loop of sorts that allowed him to summon the rest of us. We were still linked to him by the Grail, a force that transcends time, so whenever he was reset in time, so were we."

"Wow," Lancer said, "who'd have thought it? You're some sort of professor, that was unexpected. And you could deduce all of that just from looking at the watch?"

Archer smiled. "I don't claim being a first hand expert. It's just I knew people who used that kind of artifacts, that's all."

"Uh-huh. From where?" Archer Alter accusingly asked.

"That much I don't remember, blink blink blink, blink blink blink blink," Archer said innocently. No one, Shirou included, actually believed him, but none was too interested on pointing that out yet.

"Are you actually saying 'blink'?" Nanoha said, confused.

"So, we should find an alternative way to Semp- Master's house, right?" Shielder asked. "So we don't run into Gilgamesh again."

"Yeah, 'cause that worked so well with Judge," Archer Alter said. "It's Fate, and the bastard's very mobile, he'll find us no matter wherever we go. But this time we gotta be prepared for him!"

"And why was he looking for us in the first place?" Nanoha asked.

"Maybe he somehow felt Judge's defeat. It's even likely they were allied somehow," Archer pondered. "Or perhaps he was simply attracted to Saber. Looks like they have a history together, after all," he blandly smiled the scowling blonde's way.

"We do know each other, from the Fourth Grail War," Saber stoically admitted. "There we were adversaries during the final conflict, but I never imagined I would see him again, much less here. Destiny works in truly mysterious ways, obviously."

"That's interesting," Magical Girl noted. "So you have memories from a prior Grail War? I was under the impression that was impossible for a Servant."

Saber half-smiled. "You will find out I am unusual as a Servant in a lot of ways, should our acquaitance last long enough."

"I have no idea what are you guys talking about," Shirou meekly said, stopping by with a truly haunted, yet subdued, expression. "I mean, my father told me a few things about Grail Wars, but-"

"That doesn't matter now," Archer told him. "There'll be time enough to get things through your thick skull later. What matters now is we don't have the firepower needed to challenge Gilgamesh. I'm afraid we need you to summon another of us."

"Nonsense!" Saber protested. "Last time we fought, I had him almost evenly matched. Tonight I was simply taken by surprise, and-!"

Archer sighed, pointing at Shirou. "I assume back then you had a better Master than this brat? I don't doubt you were that impressive back then, since Gilgamesh sort of respects you at all from those times, but even the best Servant will lose aptitude with a subpar Master, and this guy is as subpar as they come."

"Hey!" Shirou said.

"It pains me to say it," Magical Girl said, "but you have to admit you seem awfully unfit for the task, Master."

"I agree, Master," her living weapon said, and added after a short pause, "And Master."

Archer Alter folded his arms and grumbled. "Yeah, well, you've got a good point there..."

"I suppose it's that E-ranked luck screwing me over, ah well," Lancer sighed. "Fine, that sort of makes sense, the best we could hope for until we find better Masters is overwhelming that bastard with sheer numbers. I can deal with that. I've fought alongside armies, after all."

"Good to see you aren't that arrogant after all," Saber approved. "But, how do we get Master to summon another Servant? That, too, should be simply impossible..."

"Oh, we've only got to repeat the procedure that worked before," Archer explained. "He's got to activate the Cassiopeia mechanism at the same time his demise triggers the time loop again. That should cheat us through another Contract with a new Heroic Soul again..."

"You mean we have to die again?!" Shirou and Lancer cried.

Archer Alter just exhaled. "What a bother, but whatever, I'm used to pain as long as I can pay it back later."

"Whatever you are going to do, please do it quickly," Shielder asked, tensing up as she raised her gaze and prepared her shield. "He's here again..."

"Yeah, like clockwork," Archer growled, pulling his dual short blades out and assuming a battle stance as a tall blond figure hopped from the shadows to land on top of a nearby lamppost, casually dressed in a black biking jumpsuit with an open jacket, and smirking down lazily at them. "You can say any bad thing you want about this guy, but not that he can't be reliable when it comes to being a pest..."

"Archer!" Saber hissed, her own sword on the ready.

Shirou closed his eyes in resignation and went through the motions until he had one of Gilgamesh's Gate of Babylon-propelled curved scimitars flung through his stomach. At this point he only sighed copious amounts of blood, pulled the Cassiopeia out of his pocket with his last remaining energies, muttered a heartfelt, "Sorry, Yotsuba-san," and flung it down, smashing it against the pavement. "But I really don't want to die...!"

And the pavement under him glowed. Then the light took form, and a figure emerged from it before the boulevard returned to darkness.

It was female. Slim and relatively tall, with short reddish hair that covered most of her face in thick bangs. There was something unnatural about the way she stood, as if she was a doll standing on metallic high heels. She wore a long and elegant white dress, almost bridal, and held a long metallic mace in her hands. On her forehead, a golden tiara with a sharp horn protruding from it.

"I… am…" She spoke with extreme difficulty at first, and her voice was flat and lifeless. "A Servant. Of… the Berserker class. Are you my Master?"

The dying Shirou tried his best to smile for her. "I... am..." He coughed small red chunks out while Gilgamesh watched on with vague interest, dispersing beaten Servants scattered all around his feet. "Welcome... Berserker..."

Then Gilgamesh gave an annoyed sigh, threw a few knives from behind through Berserker's head, and once more, the universe disappeared in a stark white flash.

"You know, it's funny," Lancer commented as they left the building, with a visibly traumatized Shirou dragging his feet behind them. "You don't really look like a Berserker."

Berserker kept herself silent, her gaze low while walking down the boulevard.

"I've never fought a Berserker myself," Nanoha said. "How are they supposed to look?"

"How are they-" Lancer repeated incredulously. "Well, kid, the word itself says it, doesn't it? Didn't the Grail tell you about it? A Berserker should be rampaging, brutal, a beast out of their mind... I should know, I would qualify for one if summoned properly!"

"I doubt you'd fight any dumber then, though," Archer Alter chuckled venomously, as Saber and Lancer shot him poisoned glares. "What? Did I hit too close to home?"

"I see, I think I get it..." Nanoha hummed, as a thought balloon appeared over her head, showing a petite cute redhead with braids and a nice hat, her eyes crimson as she flew around swinging a large mallet in all directions. "Yeah, now I guess we've got experience fighting that kind of people after all."

The other Magical Girl looked up into her thought balloon, which is something you absolutely can do when you've achieved enough compatibility as to be qualified as the same Servant, and nodded. "Yes, we definitely do."

"Alright, I don't care about your Class, or whether you fit it or not, as long as you can fight," Archer Alter told Berserker. "We've got our hands full with this guy right now, Gilgamesh, the First of all Heroes, probably the most powerful. Hardly acts as a hero, but that's besides the point. What matters is he's a hella strong motherfucker, and you'll better pull your weight against him, got that?"

"Mind your language!" Magical Girl frowned, with her hands firmly clasped on the blinking Nanoha's ears.

Shirou sighed. "Maybe Gilgamesh would be satisfied as long as only I died? If that's what it takes to stop this massacre, I'll do it. Let's just finish this once and for all, no more returns..."

"Master, no!" Shielder gasped. "As your Servants, we depend on your existence! If you die, we would simply disappear from this world without fulfilling our goals!"

"Although," Archer cautioned, "we always could find ourselves new Masters before we disappear."

"That's easy for you to say, you and Blackie should have Independient Action," Lancer reminded him.

Archer shrugged. "Hardly our fault if you don't! So, Master, do you know of any good Magi living in this area? I'm not sure why since I have partial amnesia, I don't remember if I had said that already, but somehow the name Tohsaka keeps coming to my mind..."

Shirou blinked. "Tohsaka? Actually, I happen to know-"

"Nobody will be giving up!" Saber sternly decided, slamming her invisible sword down and making the street tremble. "We are warriors! With great pride! We are the best mankind has to offer through its history! We shall not falter in the face of the world's first... braggart! We shall keep on fighting until we achieve victory! There is no other option! And anyone saying different will have to fight me first!"

Archer blinked a few times, then raised his hands in a quiet placating gesture. "... okay, I was just trying to lighten the mood. There's no need to get all emotional..."

"..." Berserker said, most likely rather baffled at finding herself in such a faction of mismatched, hopelessly outmatched weird people. Somehow it gave her a faint feeling of deja vu...

"Whatever you are going to do, please do it quickly," Shielder asked, tensing up as she raised her gaze and prepared her shield. "He's here again..."

"Archer!" Saber hissed, her own sword on the ready.

"Must you repeat the same lines over and over again?!" Shirou protested. "Seriously, people, you're aware this has happened before, what's the point?!"

Shielder, Archer and Saber briefly put on slightly ashamed looks. "... sorry," Shielder meekly said. "It just came to me without even thinking about it, Master..."

"Hu hu hu hu!" Gilgamesh laughed arrogantly, folding his arms as he looked down at the gathered mongrels. "Why do you surround yourself with fools and rabble now, Saber?! Don't you remember your illustrious past, fighting along worthy crusaders like the King of Conquerors and- well, only the two of you, actually, but seriously, even the mouth breather with the spear from back then looked worthier than this one, ah ha ha ha!"

"YOU BASTAAAAARD!" Lancer cried before leaping towards the confident King of Heroes, thrusting his long sharp weapon ahead of himself...

Magical Girl sighed. "Are we sure he wasn't actually summoned as a Berserker THIS time? He's acting like one more than Berserker-san..."

Blushing faintly and feeling like she was obliged to honor her name, Berserker raised her mace and also charged ahead. "Rrrr-aaaaaaaaaa..." she stiffly 'roared', in a hardly impressive way, while running forth to join the freshly re-started melee.

Shirou closed his eyes in resignation and went through the motions until he had not one but two of Gilgamesh's Gate of Babylon-propelled curved scimitars flung through his stomach. Again! At this point he only sighed copious amounts of blood, pulled the Cassiopeia out of his pocket with his last remaining energies, muttered a half hearted, "Sorry, Dad, not only am I a sorry excuse for a Hero of Justice, but I'm not even good at looking after a freaking pocket watch..." and flung it down, smashing it against the pavement. "But I still don't want to die...!"

And the pavement under him glowed. Then the light took form, and a figure emerged from it before the boulevard returned to darkness.

It was another female. A very pretty young woman with long, silky smooth dark hair standing right before Shirou's magical circle of light. She wore a mostly white garment that was highly revealing, showing off a lot of succulent cleavage and long, slender legs in tall blue stockings. Despite of that, her clothes also gave the impression of belonging to some sort of religious order from their overall design choices, like the cross motif in the opening of her chest. Not to mention the gigantic cross that she carried around, assuming that was actually a cross and not a cross-shaped lance or gun or sword or rocket ship or whatever, that was.

"Greetings, Master!" she friendly told him. "I am Servant Ruler!" the newcomer smiled proudly. "An emissary of Heaven out to correct the mistakes of this Grail War! A tool of our Lord's all-benevolent will, out to prevent further divergences from the rightful Grand Order of this conflagration! I will save the world alongside you against all of the World's Evils, without any hesitation!"

Shirou cracked a weak, bloody smile. "Hello, Ruler-san... Nice to meet you... You look like a nice person..."

"Mas... ter..." Berserker groggily gurgled from the ground, her face currently being smashed down under Gilgamesh's heel. Most of the other Servants already were reduced to nothingness. "Be... ware...!"

Then Gilgamesh gave an annoyed sigh and threw a few knives from behind towards Ruler's head. "What is this? More mongrels? No matter the numbers, you never will prevail! Begone, pretenders, for you offend my sight!"

However, and much to Shirou's surprise, Ruler spun around, deflecting the knives with her gigantic cross, and then shouted, slamming a hand ahead, hitting Gilgamesh across the chest in the middle of his latest boasting, and sending him flying across the street, crashing against a wall. "BA-BOW-POW! Leaving an opening, that's a pretty shameful showing for a Hero of yore! Even for a Pagan!"

Then the wall literally exploded around Gilgamesh, sending shattered bricks in all directions. One of them landed squarely on the downed Lancer's head, breaking his skull and finishing him off at last. "THAT WAS A LUCKY SHOT!" the insanely offended First of All Heroes howled savagely. "You won't get another, bit- MONGREL!"

Moments later, needless to say, the universe disappeared in a stark white flash.

"I see. Well, I don't think you should be doing that," Ruler commented as they left the building with a visibly traumatized Shirou having to be supported around by Shielder and Saber. "You are violating pretty much every other rule of the Holy Grail War! As a Ruler, I just can't allow that to happen!"

"Elaborate," Archer Alter grunted out the corner of his mouth, his hands in his pockets.

"Well," Ruler said, "not only is every master supposed to have only one Servant, and vice-versa, but you all should have realized by now this poor young man can't possibly support all of us..."

"Yeah, we had talked about that before. Repeatedly, before being destroyed messily," Lancer informed. "So we've decided to put those concerns on hold until we've figured a way out of, well, being destroyed messily. After that, we'll sort it out!"

"Most likely," Archer Alter said, "we'll kill each other until only one remains, and then that Servant will get the Master. I mean, that's what Grail Wars are about, after all. Elimination contests!"

"The more you talk about these Grail Wars, the less I like them," Shirou muttered. "And what's so Holy about them in the first place?"

Ruler sighed. "It's not only about that. You've been altering the fabric of time itself! That's a grave blasphemy! Messing around, I mean, tampering with the sacred order of nature established by our Lord!"

"Oh," Archer said, "you mean like staging a murder game where the spirits of the departed are summoned from their proper rest and made to fight each other to death over the means to gain power to perhaps rival God's? Maybe you're right and someone should do something about that, as well."

"Yeah," Archer Alter found himself agreeing, "I know I couldn't respect someone who upheld the so-called rules for that kind of savagery..."

"You never respect anyone, period!" Saber frowned at him.

Ruler looked aside innocently. "That... That's a wholly different thing! If I'm here that's because the Lord has approved of this War's existence, and my only purpose here is to establish measures so only those law abiding remain! That means the winner wouldn't be likely to use the Grail's power for evil purposes!"

Lancer smirked. "Someone's never heard of Lawful Evil, I see..."

"Okay, let's stop the discussion already," Magical Girl raised a hand. It was a testament to her seriousness and presence everybody present stopped and paid attention despite her short stature and adorable appearance. Perhaps the menacing scythe helped too. Or the realization they were being less serious than a ten year-old. "Ruler, I understand your concerns and even sympathize with them, and I won't deny you raise several valid points. However, that must be put on hold until our common enemy is vanquished."

"Or gained as a friend for the cause of justice!" Nanoha hopefully added.

"... yes. Or that," Magical Girl quickly agreed. "But in the meanwhile, he's obviously unhinged and extremely dangerous to everybody around. He seems to care little about showing his powers off in public, and he's clearly megalomaniacal." Briefly, she stopped to sniffle, since she was starting to get nostalgic about her mom. "And he's also an evident anomaly, as big or bigger than our combined presence in this War, so you might want to look up into that as well."

Saber nodded. "Those are wise words. It's unnatural he still remains in this world long after the last Grail War, and with his memories of it intact as well..."

Lancer frowned. "Doesn't the same principle apply to you as well?"

Berserker then suddenly pointed up before Ruler could answer on the subject. "He's... back..." she monotoned.

"Okay, Ruler, this is your turn to shine," Archer growled, pulling out his short dual blades and assuming a battle stance as a tall blond figure hopped from the shadows to land on top of a nearby lamppost, casually dressed in a black biking jumpsuit with an open jacket, and smirking down lazily at them. "This time you can't say you're being thrown into this without any preparation. So make sure to give your best, and maybe we won't have to kill our Master again..."

"Yeah. That would be nice," Shirou said.

"Archer!" Saber hissed, her own sword on the ready.

"Ah, ha ha ha ha!" Gilgamesh laughed arrogantly, folding his arms as he looked down at the gathered mongrels. "Why do you surround yourself with fools and rabble now, Saber?! Don't you remember your illustrious past, fighting along worthy crusaders like the King of Conquerors and- well, only the two of you, actually, but seriously, even the mouth breather with the spear from back then looked worthier than this one, ah ha ha ha!"

Lancer grinned. "Good try, Golden Boy, but I'm better than that. I know I'm the best man of us, so I won't pay any attention to your half baked heckling. I'm much wiser than I was a lifetime ago... earlier tonight!"

"Bwa-ha-ha-ha, what's with that nonsense, mongrel?" Gilgamesh further mocked him. "Your words are absurdly strung together! Are you all Saber's court jesters? That's the only explanation I can find for such a ridiculous entourage!"

"Say whatever you want, sinner!" Ruler chastised him. "But the righteous won't be turned by your snake tongue! We shall remain straight in our path, for ego and pride matter nothing in the face of our most sacred mission! Prepare yourself! As Servant Ruler, I will set you in the road to enlightening! Repent your misdeeds!"

"Oh, ho ho ho!" Gilgamesh laughed. "Lectured by a harlot making a mockery of clerical attire? That is hilarious! You make the false priest I know look virtuous! No doubt, you were the one to redefine the term 'nunnery' during your lifetime...!"

"YOU BLASPHEMEEEEEER!" Ruler cried, suddenly snapping with a hideous fast appearing grimace before leaping towards the confident King of Heroes, thrusting with her long sharp cross staff...

Nanoha blinked. "What's a harlot, and what's so offensive about a nunnery? That's just a place for Catholic miko to live in, right?"

Magical Girl sighed. "Ask the Grail as soon as we have summoned it, Nanoha-chan..." she said before flying up to join Ruler's side.

Shirou closed his eyes in resignation and went through the motions until he had not one but three of Gilgamesh's Gate of Babylon-propelled curved scimitars flung through his stomach. Well, never let be said the guy didn't keep continuously striving to outdo himself, at least. No wonder he'd gotten to be King. At this point Shirou only sighed copious amounts of blood, pulled the Cassiopeia out of his pocket with his last remaining energies, muttered a half hearted, "Sorry, Dad, nuhh uhh gluh glug duh..." He realized his mouth was too full of blood now as to allow him correct speech, and simply flung the watch down, smashing it against the pavement. "Fuhguh uth, uh jush dun wunnu duh...!"

And the pavement under him glowed. Then the light took form, and a figure emerged from it before the boulevard returned to darkness.

Shirou's skin crawled. That golden hair. That tall, imposing physique, not overly muscular but clearly strong anyway. Those sharp, serpentine eyes. That smug, vicious smile. The way those arms were folded. This newcomer might be wearing voluminous and richly elaborate golden armor that made him look a lot bigger and bulkier than he actually was, and thus larger that the Gilgamesh they had been fighting, but there was no mistake, it was the exact same man. It wasn't even like with Archer and Archer Alter, where they only looked vaguely samey but still rather different all in all, no. These were literal twins in different clothes...

And then, as the definite proof and clincher, that laugh.

"Bwa-ha ha ha ha haaaa!" the new Servant cackled over Lancer's moans of great physical pain. At least it didn't look like any of the Servants had died yet, even if they were all badly beaten all over the street. "What is this? Who summons me, the great and powerful Gilgamesh, first and foremost of all heroes, in the middle of a senseless carnage? Do I look like a last resource to stop a disastrous campaign? Who dares- Oh?"

His gaze had just met the other Gilgamesh's, who had just stopped rattling a spiral-eyed Shielder around, and they both stared at each other. Metaphorical lightning flashed between their eyes.

"..." the Gilgameshs (Gilgameshi?) said.

Saber looked up from her current position, raising her face from a pool of her own blood, and then let out the ultimate strangled squeal of complete and utter disgust.

"Ah..." Nanoha said from where she was all but impaled on a sharp fence down the street.

"This just isn't my day," Ruler decided, putting a delicate hand to her badly swollen face.

And then the Gilgameshi (Gilgameshs?) bristling with blinding fury, each one holding a massive sword in hand, jumped for the other's throat with a mad battle cry of "FAAAKERRRRRRRR!"

Moments later, needless to say, the universe disappeared in a stark white flash.

"Negi-sensei?" Hasegawa Chisame asked early the next morning, looking out through a window of the living quarters she shared with her boy teacher and eccentric teen genius Hakase Satomi, plus some ermine. "Why is the whole length of Nasu Boulevard a smoking crater surrounded by police tape?"

"Gas leak," Negi Springfield quickly answered in between bites of his breakfast.

"That was only a rhetorical question," Chisame said, "how could you already kn-"

"Trust me, it'll be a gas leak no matter what," Negi sighed, gesturing at her to get back to the table.

Chisame decided she was actually okay with that explanation and let it slide, making her way back to breakfast.

To be Continued.