Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. No money. ETC.
Jane sits back in the Adirondack chair with a sigh. The night is not overly cold, but as the hours tick by a slight chill seeps into her body. It's been a rough week. She's spent most of it in court being grilled by the defense and the prosecution. Par for the course as far as her job is concerned, but on the bright side, it looks like they are going to win the case.
She flexes her fingers in her lap, the scars in the middle aching so slightly, an ever-present reminder of darker days. Some nights she feels like she's still pinned in that basement. Jane closes her eyes. She doesn't want to think about that.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Jane looks up at the soft voice. Maura is standing behind her with a knowing expression on her face. A gentle hand slips across Jane's shoulder to the back of her neck. Jane leans into the touch, sighing as warm fingers massage tense tendons.
Jane's stomach does a fluttery thing and warmth spreads through her chest all the way down to her toes and fingertips. Somehow, after an exceedingly long day shut in her office, Maura still looks incredible. She dressed down today – in slacks and a billowy button up with ballet flats. Her hair was loose, cascading across her shoulders.
Maura circles around to her front, her hand still on the back of Jane's neck. She settles softly on Jane's lap.
Jane loses her breath when Maura's warm body settles against her own. Having Maura this close always seems to do that to her. Jane wraps her arms around Maura's hips, securing her in place.
This is still so incredibly new that sometimes Jane stutters in her movements. She's so used to holding back, holding in. It's a hard habit to break.
They've been dating for four months, two weeks, and three days. Not that Jane has been counting or anything.
It happened over the span of a week. Jane had been surly and upset when Maura accepted an invitation for dinner from a stranger while they were at The Robber together. She'd been a pain in the ass to Maura for the rest of the week, until finally something inside Maura snapped. She'd put Jane in her place in the middle of her office. And, Jane, tail tucked between her legs, showed up to Maura's house later that night. And here they are, four and a half months later. Jane has never been happier.
Maura leans in close resting her forehead against Jane's. "Your nose is cold."
Jane can't resist. She leans forward, kissing the tip of Maura's. "Yours isn't." She nuzzles her face into Maura's neck and breathes deep, "you smell good."
"I should get you a blanket."
Jane shakes her head, holding Maura tighter.
Maura rolls her eyes, but she can't fool Jane. Jane can see the love in her eyes, and the small smile at the corner of her lips. "Do you know what today is?" Her voice is quiet and Jane is so distracted by the way her fingers are tracing along the back of her neck it takes her a moment to fully register what she's said.
Jane sits back wracking her brain for answers. She knows it's not Maura's birthday. It's not Valentine's. Not Christmas. Nor Easter. It's not her mother's birthday – if so, she'd have had a phone call before now. As she's thinking, the hand from the back of her neck moves forward. Fingers slide down the soft indent of her chin, focusing her thoughts back on the woman in her lap.
"You really don't know?"
"Honestly, my brain is so fried I don't even know what today is except that it's Tuesday."
Maura leans back a bit, analyzing her.
Jane tries not to squirm under the scrutinization.
"It's Wednesday." She answers, and a beat later, "today's your birthday."
Jane blinks. "Oh." Is that why she was feeling so melancholy before Maura came home?
It's been years since her final faceoff with Hoyt. There are days where she is still so angry. Nights where she wakes in a cold sweat, a scream just behind her teeth and Maura's soothing palm rubbing her back. The trauma is something she pretends she doesn't live with, something she shoves somewhere deep inside her chest cavity. But it rears its head every once in a while. When her hands ache too much to button her own pants. When she loses feeling in the tips of her fingers after typing all day. When a new case happens in a neighborhood he'd terrorized. When the scene looks too similar. And even her birthday is tainted. He's taken so much from her, even in death.
"Jane?" Soft fingers trace down her cheek, and even softer lips press against her own, grounding her.
Jane takes a deep breath. She brings the hand from Maura's thigh up to the place where her heart beat. It's strong and steady underneath her fingers. She closes her eyes taking slow, even breaths. He didn't take Maura. Jane didn't let him.
Jane sniffs, refusing to meet Maura's eyes. Her hand still resting against Maura's breast, directly above her heart. "Is there a big surprise party inside?" She motions with her head to the house behind them. Every year since it happened Jane has put on a brave face for her mother. She has sat through parties, and restaurant wait staff singing happy birthday, and food and friends. By the end of the night she is always so inexplicably exhausted, and she doesn't feel like she can do that tonight.
Maura takes the hand over her heart and kisses the inside of the scar on her palm and then the outside before intertwining their fingers. "I know today has a lot of mixed emotions." Maura's voice drops to barely a whisper that Jane has to strain to hear, "for me too."
Jane looks up then. And Maura can feel her heart break at the pain and remorsefulness she sees shining back at her. Maura smiles kindly. "I talked to your mother. It's just you and me. I thought it would be nice to have a cozy night in, just us. I baked a cake, ordered pizza from your favorite place, there's a six pack of your favorite beer. Ice cream."
Jane breaks out in the biggest smile Maura has ever seen. Her dark eyes shining in the dim porch light. "How did you manage to convince my mother not to make it a big deal? And when did you have time to bake a secret cake?"
Maura grins sheepishly. "Well…there may still be some sort of celebration at family dinner this weekend, but I asked that she keep it small. She said she couldn't not celebrate her baby's birthday."
Jane rolls her eyes, "sounds like my mother."
"As for the cake, I took a personal day while you were in court yesterday. Picking up the pizza is why you were home before I was today." She's quiet for a moment. "I hope this is alright…"
Jane grins, hugging Maura even closer. "It's more than alright. I could kiss you!"
Maura laughs in relief. She leans forward so her face is just inches from Jane's, "what's stopping you?"
…
Jane walks into the room as Maura brings the pizza out of the oven where it had been to keep it warm. Jane smiles at Maura's purple silk pajamas. Once they came back in, Jane had deemed comfy pajamas a necessary part of their cozy night in. She is wearing plaid bottoms and a threadbare t-shirt from her academy days. She walks up behind Maura and wraps her arms around her middle. She smiles into Maura's neck. "That looks really good." As if to prove her point, at that moment her stomach gurgles loudly. They both laugh.
Maura snags a pepperoni from one of the slices and turns in Jane's arms to feed it to her. "Let's sit."
Jane looks across the table at Maura as she chews the crust of her third slice. Maura is taking dainty bites and wiping her mouth after each one. She has come a long way from the woman who used to use a fork and knife for the same meal.
"You're staring."
"I can't help it."
Maura rolls her eyes, but Jane can see a slight blush dusting her cheeks and a pleased smile on her lips.
Jane wishes she were an elegant speaker. That she could create flowy words of adoration at the drop of a hat. Instead the words in her brain play bumper cars with her teeth and all that comes out of her mouth is "god, you're beautiful."
Maura catches her eye, pizza slice halfway to her mouth.
Jane nods. "You are." She takes a sip of her beer, swallowing it down hard. There's so much more she wants to say.
Maura reaches across the table and squeezes her hand.
…
Jane stares at the cake. It's the best thing she's ever seen. There's a white and red blob in one corner, something that looks like it could be hockey sticks in another. And their initials are written in a heart in a third corner. Her name is bright and blue against the white icing.
"That's supposed to be a baseball, but…it's kind of hard to tell." Maura's laugh is self-deprecating as she points. "I'm not much of an artist, I'm afraid."
"Maura, no…this…this is…amazing!" Jane grabs her phone from the counter and snaps a picture of the cake. Then she turns to Maura and snaps a candid picture of her, before putting the phone back down. She looks in awe from the crudely drawn images to Maura's face who still looks a little unsure. The words – again – get caught somewhere between her brain and her mouth. So instead, she pulls Maura towards her, giving her an incendiary kiss that leaves them both breathless.
Maura places two candles in the empty final corner. Jane feels proud of herself for the bright blush ensconcing Maura's cheeks. Maura lights the candles with a long lighter and stands back. When she starts to sing – completely off key, Jane doesn't know even know how that happens just that it does – Jane's face splits in the biggest grin she can muster. She loves this woman with everything she has.
Jane isn't usually a wishing person. She always blows the candles out without ever really thinking about it too much. But here, alone with her best friend-girlfriend-partner all wrapped in one, in the home they now share together, she finds herself making a wish for it to always be like this. The two of them. Together. Forever. Happy.
She closes her eyes tight, and blows fast across the flames.
The knife Maura is using slides easily through the icing and cake. She cuts a large piece and settles it on a single plate for them to share while Jane dishes vanilla ice cream into a bowl. They grab a spoon and a fork before walking into the living room. They settle on the floor shoulder to shoulder, their plate and bowl resting on the coffee table. They feed each other small bites while talking about their days.
After they finished the ice cream and the cake, Jane notices there's a glob of icing sitting on the plate. While Maura is distracted with her napkin, Jane swipes a finger through the white icing. Grinning to herself, she turns to Maura and smears it over her upper lip and on the tip of her nose. Maura's jaw drops in indignation. Jane's laugh reverberates up to the ceiling.
Maura slides her own finger through what's left of the icing and advances towards Jane. But Jane is faster. She stands quickly and dodges Maura's grab.
They chase each other around the living room like children for several minutes until Jane decides to end it. She turns quickly, and grabs Maura around the waist in a surprise attack. She throws the smaller woman over her shoulder. Maura kicks her feet, laughing and smiling into Jane's back. Jane drops her unceremoniously onto the couch, and crawls on top of her. She grabs Maura's wrist and the offending digit of icing.
She locks eyes with Maura as she licks it clean. Maura shifts her weight underneath her. Her pupils blown wide, her chest heaving. Even with the white mustache, Jane has never seen her look more breathtaking than she does in this moment. "I love you." She whispers. The words are hard for her to say, but it's true. The truest thing that's ever come from her mouth. And she loves the way Maura goes all soft when she says them.
She leans down and kissing Maura's face until all the icing is gone. And then her lips until they are both moving into the other. Jane pulls away breathlessly, "it's my birthday."
Maura let's out a small moan when Jane's hand slips under the hem of her shirt. Her hips rise up when Jane's fingers brush the underside of her breast.
Jane removes her hand, and grins at Maura's pout. "I think I want to unwrap my present now."
Maura laughs wild and free. She slings an arm around Jane's shoulder pulling her back down for a long, slow kiss.
Afterward, they lay on the sofa wrapped up in each other and a small blanket, their limbs so intertwined it's difficult to tell who ends where. Jane strokes softly down Maura's bare side, marveling at the turn of events her life has taken to get her to this exact moment. There are times where she believes that Maura deserves better, times where she let's those doubts and insecurities creep into their life. It was an adjustment at first – being with Maura like this. But moments like these – they remind her just exactly how precious this thing between them is. Maura is the best thing that's ever happened to her, and she likes to think Maura feels the same way about her.
"What are you thinking about?" Maura's voice is soft in the low light. Jane cane feel Maura's fingers tracing random patters against her skin.
"You. Us."
"Good thoughts, I hope?"
Jane nods. "The best."
Maura snuggles closer to her, Jane can feel her smile against her chest. "Good."
It's quiet for a long moment. Jane kisses the top of blond curls under her chin. "I never thought I could have something like this." Maura doesn't respond. "You make me feel safe, Maura. You always have." She sighs, feeling like Maura has dozed off, but continuing on anyway. "That's why I came to your house all those years ago when Hoyt was after me the second time. We weren't close friends then, but I knew I would feel safe there. Not judged."
"I was honored that you chose me. I still am."
"I thought you were asleep."
Maura shakes her head with a yawn. "I think we should bring this party upstairs though. I'm afraid I'm too old for the couch."
Jane laughs as they sit up. She takes Maura's face in her hands, looking deep into her eyes. "Thank you for making today a good day. I love you."
Maura's eyes go all soft and gooey. She leans forward kissing Jane on the tip of her nose. "I love you."
Jane grins wide, and with one arm under Maura's knees and the other around her back she stands from the couch. Maura squeals, her arms automatically wrapping around Jane's neck. The blanket they'd been using somehow stays around them trapped in their embrace as Jane takes them upstairs to their bedroom.
That night instead of nightmares, Jane dreams of white icing and open fields and hazel-green eyes. And when she wakes the next morning she is surrounded by Maura's body and the smell of her lotion in the sheets. She's never been happier to be alive.
A/N: Thanks for reading!