So, i wrote this in the hair dressers earlier... while my mum was having her hair cut... but Hayley persuaded me to type it up and post it. So here i am. Apparently i'm on a post finale kick, but again, not so sure about this one. Hope you get some entertainment out of it anyway :)
Disclaimer: Blah blah blah nothing is mine. *sadness*
She'd always know, deep down. She'd always known that he'd pick Red John over her. How could he not? Eight years he'd spent hunting him. Eight years was a long time to wait for revenge, that's what he'd said. But it was better than waiting a lifetime. Not that she'd ever said that. Eight years to her miniscule three. It was almost laughable that she'd thought even for a second, that she would come anywhere close. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry at her own naivety. The moment she was told was still crystal clear in her head, his name, something about him being in custody. How he'd come in quietly. There was a first time for everything she'd supposed.
She had sat across the table from him staring into his bluey green eyes, and she'd been a little shocked to find a change. It won't make you feel better, she'd told him. She'd been lying, she was selfish that way. His eyes had seemed a little less empty, he seemed a little less consumed. A little more peaceful. She put it down to having finally done it, had his revenge. She had fleetingly wondered how it had felt, and in that moment she had almost asked him. Then she'd checked herself, and stood up and steadily walked out of the interrogation room. She couldn't look at him anymore. She'd locked herself in her office and not shed a single tear until she'd closed her own front door that night. Only then did she cry herself to sleep.
The trial had been exhausting. Emotionally. He'd pleaded guilty of course, how could he not? It's difficult to plead otherwise when there was a room full of dozens of witnesses. The thought had made her sick to the stomach, and occasionally she found herself glad she hadn't been there. But that only ever lasted a few second. She'd testified in court, her heart beating fast and with a permanent lump in her throat, a lingering nauseous feeling. She couldn't seem to shake that sick feeling nowadays. She'd stood up there and done her piece, just like she always did. But even after all the time had passed since that day in the interrogation room, she still couldn't look at him.
The day before his sentencing he'd confronted her about it. So she'd looked at him. And it had hurt. She couldn't work out why looking at him hurt so much. He'd told her thank you, she hadn't said anything much. Nothing that meant anything. Nothing that had mattered. They'd both know that. But she knew he could see the tears in her eyes as she'd turned and walked away.
The moment she'd heard his sentence she could have sworn her heart stopped. She took one look at him before she left the courtroom , trying to convey everything she knew she'd never say. She could feel his sad stare set on her back as she walked out the courtroom, and she tried to convince herself that she didn't care.
She'd cried herself to sleep that night anyway.
She should have known he'd always pick Red John over her. But she'd never have guessed that it would break her heart.
Reviews would be wonderful, because i find this fic strange and am not sure. So yeah, i'd love to know your thoughts. :)
Emily xxx