John drew in a shaky breath as he clicked off the safety from his gun. He had it cocked and ready. He drew in a deep sigh as he pressed the cold piece of metal against his head.
The gun felt almost comforting. It reminded him that he was alive. Thriving and living and breathing- and he could stop all that any second.
But John didn't pull the trigger. He never did. Every night, he held the gun against his temple and waited for something to happen- but nothing ever did.
Actually, that's why he did it. Nothing ever happened to John H. Watson, former army doctor. Ever since he was sent home, his life had been dull, ordinary. He didn't want something to happen, he needed it.
He was a soldier. He loved the thrill of the battle and the split-second choice between life and death.
But since he's been shot, all of that had ended in an instant. He was sent back to London.
Nothing happened to John Watson.
And nothing ever will.