He wasn't supposed to be a Cop
Reagan and Renzulli walked down the Manhattan parkway. Shops lined the streets but the usual crowds that this district typically attracted had thinned due to the rainy weather that New York seemed bent on keeping through the week. Jamie was already chilled to the bone and eager to finish the walk about and get back in the warmish patrol car that waited further down the road. Tony was telling Jamie how much he wasn't looking forward to his in-laws being in town when their radios cut them off.
"We have a current 10-30 in progress at Diangelo's Jewelry, Manhattan and 5th, please respond." Jamie looked toward Renzulli nodding his head before heading the opposite way of the patrol vehicle, leaving his partner to call in their approach.
Jamie slowed as he came upon the store, through the window he could see the masked figure putting jewelry into a bag. He waited a moment allowing Renzulli to catch up, his hand rested on his weapon as he stepped before the open door calling out, "Police…drop the b…" The suspect whipped around revealing the gun that had been hidden under the bag. Jamie was hit before he could even pull his weapon. He heard Renzulli yell his name and the gunshots issued from his guns, followed by a frantic radio call. "I have a 10-13. I need back-up. Send the bus."
Danny was riding the town with Jackie. "I'm telling you, Gino's has changed their sauce, this is definitely not the same." Jackie's retort was cut off by the squawk of the radio. "10-13. Manhattan and 5th. Please respond." Danny glanced at his partner the earlier humor erased from the air. Jackie flipped on the lights, Danny pressed the gas. They were close.
The SUV swung wide in the street, they were the first on the scene. Jackie and Danny quickly rushed from the vehicle racing to the kneeling officer with his back to the street. This couldn't be good. Danny's thoughts were verified as he got slightly closer to the officers, noting the blood that was already pooling around the hit cop. Jackie, a couple steps ahead of him suddenly slowed, her hands covering her mouth before her eyes turned to look directly at Danny. "It's Jamie."
Danny paused less than a second before the news had sunk in and he was running with renewed speed toward the officer that he now knew was his baby brother. "JAMIE." Danny yelled immediately kneeling at his brothers side, his eyes jumping from Jamie's pale face to the red blood that Renzulli was attempting to keep in his brothers chest. "Jamie. Look at me Jamie." Jamie's eyes opened slowly focusing on his brothers face as it leaned over him.
"Hey Danny." He breathed out weakly, his chest was on fire and his eyes felt heavy. "Oh no, no, no. You stay with me Jamison Reagan. You got that. The bus is on its way and there is no way you're checking on me." Danny paused for breath, "Look at me Reagan." Jamie slowly reopened his eyes gazing up at his big brother, feeling the rain hit his face. "Don't tell me what to do." He smirked, as he breathed out the retort.
At this point the jewelry store was surrounded by police officers. Danny cradled his brother's cheek in his hand calling to him each time he closed his eyes. The ambulance had just pulled up and they were quickly unloading the gurney. Danny looked down at his little brother again, "Listen to me Jamie. The medics are here to get you to the hospital. I'm gonna ride with you but I'm gonna step back so they can take a look at you, got it." Jamie nodded his head slightly. "Don't you close your eyes."
Jamie watched as his brothers familiar face was replaced with the concerned faces of the paramedics and groaned as they placed more pressure on the wounds in his chest. The next thing he knew he had an oxygen mask placed over his nose and mouth, pain erupted as they moved him onto the stretcher, causing him to yell out.
"Jamie!" Danny yelled as the pain showed on baby brothers' face, he quickly gripped his brothers arm and ran with the paramedics toward the awaiting ambulance. "Jackie, call the family."
The ambulance ride was tense; Jamie struggled to resist unconsciousness as the pain in his chest seemed to intensify. The only reason he stayed awake was because of his stubborn older brother constantly yelling his name. His brother worriedly ran his hand from his own hair to his jaw-line, his concerned tick, his eyes looked watery yet Jamie couldn't be sure that he was seeing that correctly since he was certain his own eyes were filled with unshed tears.
Danny watched as his brothers eyes once again began to fall shut and called out to him yet again. He couldn't let Jamie give in; if he gave in…Danny couldn't even think it. The paramedic crew bustled around him attaching his brother to heart monitors, IV fluids, and adjusting his oxygen mask, Danny barely noticed. He blinked away the tears and the memories that came flooding into his mind of Joe, he couldn't lose Jamie too. He couldn't stand it.
When they arrived at the hospital Jamie was quickly wheeled into triage and Danny was left at the swinging double doors, his hand once again starting at his hairline and making its way to his jaw..
Frank sat at his desk taking a breather after finally getting Garrett to leave him alone over the latest media crisis. Another knock at his door came and he knew that Garrett was back, "Garrett, I told you already I will not be encouraging the media by giving them a statem…" Frank's voice trailed off as he noticed Garrett's face. "What is it?"
Garrett looked down at his feet before looking back up into his boss and friends eyes, "Its Jamie, he's been shot. Danny is riding over with him to Memorial Hospital as we speak." Frank's world paused, his youngest was hit, his youngest, Mary's Harvard lawyer was shot, the boy who was never supposed to enter the service was shot. "How bad?" Frank's voice broke slightly his eyes gazing at Garrett yearning for information to settle his restless spirit. "Danny's partner said that it didn't look good. Your team and car is waiting downstairs." Frank nodded not trusting his voice to respond, "Is there anything else I can do Frank?" "Pray, Garrett, pray." Frank stated patting his friend on the shoulder as he rushed to the elevator and the car that would take him to his injured boy.
On the way to the hospital Frank Reagan made phone calls to the rest of the family, a job that he never wanted to have. Each family member expressed their concern and their immediate departure for the hospital. Frank tried to ease the concern of each but his own fear and anxiety for his son seemed to make every attempt sound strained and unconvincing.
Frank walked into the families waiting room by himself concern written in the lines of his face and the tense way that he carried himself. As soon as he entered the room he spotted his older son, sitting alone on the chair closest to the double door, the direction he assumed news of his youngest would come. Danny's head hung low, his teepee-d hands pressed into his forehead and chin, his eyes were closed but even from that distance Frank could tell that they were red-rimmed. As Frank took another step closer his son noticed the noise and immediately stood to greet him, he wiped his eyes harshly before pulling his old man into a hug. "Dad." That single word displayed the emotion that Danny was feeling, defeat at not being able to protect his brother, anger at the thief who had shot him, helplessness, and also the fear of Joe happening all over again.
"Have you heard anything?" Frank asked. "No. I haven't been told anything since they brought me to this room. Jackie call you?" "She called my office. I called the rest of the family. They're on their way here now." Danny nodded. "He didn't look good Dad; two in the chest, a stupid robbery in progress." Frank nodded, pursing his lips in thought.
The two Reagan man sat in silence gazing longingly at the double doors hoping for good news to be brought before the rest of the family assembled.
A half an hour late and the room was crowded now with the loved ones of Jamie Reagan. Linda sat next to Danny her body turned toward him, her hand gently carded through his hair as he stared at the floor lost in his thoughts. Erin sat next to her father, her hand grasping his tightly both their minds going back to the waiting room that they had awaited the news of Joe in. Henry sat with the boys and Nikki trying to distract from the tension by playing a board game.
The Reagan's had all been at the hospital about two hours but they still had not heard anything about Jamie's condition. The tension was building by the minute. Danny stood quickly, needing to move, to feel like he was doing something. His quick movement caught the eye of all of the Reagan's and they watched as he took several steps toward the double doors, rubbed his hand over his face and turned back to regain his vigil by his wives side. Sean quietly left the game and went over to his father, immediately being welcomed into out-stretched arms, finding safety and reassurance.
Sean was just beginning to fall asleep when the double doors opened, revealing a young woman in a white lab coat. Danny quickly stood up, depositing Sean gently on the couch where he had been sitting, moving forward to where the rest of the adult Reagan's stood awaiting news of their Jamie.
"Hello all. I assume that you're the family of Jamison Reagan." The doctor began taking in the large group of worried faces in front of her.
"It's Jamie, and yes." Erin replied for the group causing the doctor to nod before continuing.
"Jamie was hit by two bullets, each in the chest. The first was simple to remove as it was lodged near a rib. The other proved more difficult. It skimmed the lung and came to rest behind the lung but in front of the rib. This is why the surgery took longer than expected." The doctor paused to breathe when Danny quickly interjected, "The kid's alright though, right?" The doctor nodded. "I expect a full recovery. He was lucky that the second bullet didn't cause his lung to collapse. He's in recovery at the moment; we don't expect him to wake anytime soon due to the trauma of the injury and the operation."
At this point Frank spoke up, his voice quiet and reserved, his usual confidence was absent, "Can we see him?" The doctor nodded hesitantly, "Yes, but only you until he has had some chance to recover a bit more." Frank nodded with understanding and then turned his attention to his family. "I'm going to stay with Jamie tonight. I will keep you all updated and see you tomorrow."
Henry stepped forward first resting his hand on his grown sons' shoulder, "Get some sleep tonight Francis, you'll be no use to Jamie if you're exhausted." Frank nodded as Henry began to gather the sleeping boy's things. Linda hugged Frank next knowing that the night would be long and hard. "Keep us informed. We can be back in fifteen minutes if needed." Nikki came next stating how glad she was that her Uncle Jamie was going to be alright. Erin after, "Dad, let him know we love him. We'll be back tomorrow as soon as visiting hours begin." Frank nodded and watched as his oldest son moved toward him, his head hung low. "I can't leave him Dad. I can't just go home and sleep like nothing's happened." "Danny, I will call you the moment he is awake, but now you need to be there for your boys." Danny's eyes were drawn over to his son's, Linda carrying Sean, Jack walking blearily beside his mother having just been woken himself. "You promise. Anything changes you call me." Danny beseeched. "You have my word, son. The moment something changes you'll be my first call." Danny glanced at Linda and the boys again and then nodded his head, agreeing for the sake of his children. Frank smiled sadly, pulling his oldest son into a hug before releasing him. He watched as Danny moved toward his family reaching down to pick up Jack and watched as he carried the rather large bundle toward the door.
Frank sighed as he watched the last of his family leave before turning back to the awaiting doctor. "Right this way Mr. Reagan." Frank was led down the long hall to his son's room. On the way he felt his many personas leaving him: Police Commissioner fell to the floor before the first doorway, followed by police officer, partner, son, stoic/loving grandfather, father and confidant to Erin, father and voice of reason to Danny, grieving father to Joe. Finally he was left with only one as the doctor left him in front of his youngest son's room; broken-hearted, defeated, and worried father of Jamison Reagan.
The father took a breath as he pushed the door open, his eyes immediately landing on his son's still and quiet form in the hospital bed. Oxygen and IV tubing ran from his son to machines on either side of the hospital bed, his mouth hung slightly open, Jamie always had been a bit of a mouth breather. His eyes were closed and his chest wrapped in layers of gauze. "Oh, Jamie." The father sighed as he lowered his large frame into the chair beside the bed. He gently reached and took his youngest' hand in his own. "You weren't supposed to be a cop, you know that. I promised your mother that her baby wouldn't become one and yet here you are, in a hospital bed, put there by the exact occupation that I promised you wouldn't go into." Frank's eyes gazed down for a minute before he continued the one-sided conversation that Jamie would never hear. "You know when you made the decision to be a cop I was so conflicted. Proud to call you my son for hearing and answering the call but my heart ached for your mother and the promise I made. I also ached for myself. I had already lost one son, had another on the line and I kept picturing you exactly where you are now, in a hospital bed." Frank took a breath, steadying his voice and his emotions before continuing. "You accused me once of acting like Danny was bulletproof and you were made of toothpicks. It's not that I worry less about Danny or trust him more; it's that you're so different. Your heart is softer, more patience, and in a way more vulnerable and no matter how old you get or how many awards or undercover assignments you complete you will always be my and Mary's baby; our Harvard graduate baby." Frank grew quiet watching as his son's chest rose up and down. "I love you Jamie."
Danny drove his family home, feeling incredibly torn. There was nothing to do. The shooter was brought down, his brother resting, his family waiting, and he was left with nothing but the memory of the blood surrounding his brothers' prone body. Every blink seemed to make the image clearer, the blood more red, his face more pale, his voice more strained. Danny shook his head slightly, trying to jar the images from his sight as he turned into the driveway of their house. "You take Jack, I'll take Sean?" Linda questioned quietly, knowing that her husband was stuck in a different land and time, one that she would delve into but knowing that her younger boys needed to be taken care of first. "Sure."
Danny laid Jack in his bed, carefully pulling the blankets up to cover his shoulders after removing his shoes; pj's would wait for tomorrow. He gently kissed his son and quietly closed the door behind him as he left the room. "You going to tell me what's going on in that head of yours or am I going to have to guess?" The detective grimaced slightly before turning around to face his wife, "Doesn't seem like I'm going to have much of a choice." Linda smirked slightly, grabbing Danny's hand gently, leading him down the stairs to their living room.
Linda gazed at her husband expectantly, knowing that he would start when he was ready. "I just keep seeing him…blood was everywhere, his face was white. All I could think was that I couldn't handle losing my last brother; that it would be my fault for teasing him about wanting to be a lawyer instead of a cop." "That would never be true Danny. Jamie chose to become a cop because he wanted to; it had nothing to do with you." Linda quickly added before Danny had a chance to continue. Danny nodded his head before continuing, "But I was the one who pushed him. He wants me to be proud of him and he said Joe wanted the same thing. I pushed them to agree to dangerous assignments because I didn't act proud of them. It's my fault Linda, it's my fault." Danny's head fell into his hands; tears started flowing down his checks, unchecked. "Daniel Reagan, don't you ever repeat such lies again. Your brothers being injured is not in any way your fault. Both of your brothers felt the call to be cops the same way you did. You thinking that you're the reason that they both would give up their life for the job is the vainest thing I have ever heard you say. They are and were good cops and they, like you, were willing to give anything for the job." Linda stated strongly, gently pulling Danny's face up so her eyes could meet his. "Not everything." Danny replied.
Erin and Henry sat at the Sunday dinner table, anxiously waiting for the news of Jamie's waking. They stared at the table, the floor, and then finally Erin spoke pulling her Grandpa's eyes to hers. "Grandpa." "Yes Erin." "Will this ever get easier?" "Waiting for news from a hospital; never." Henry replied with confidence. "No I mean having a family of cops. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not worried about at least one of them. I'm so scared that I'll get another call…" Erin's voice broke. "You mean a call like Joe's." Erin nodded, her hand covering her mouth, her eyes welling with tears. Henry reached forward gripping her other hand in his before speaking, "No. It never gets easier." Erin let several tears drop, blinking quickly. "Jamie wasn't supposed to be a cop. He was my safe brother." Henry sighed, squeezing his granddaughters hand yet again, "And yet he finally seems content."
It was 2 in the morning, Linda noted groggily as the absence of her husband and the sound of clanging woke her from her slumber. Standing from the bed she walked toward the clanging noises coming from the kitchen. When she reached the doorway her eyes saw Danny leaning over the sink with a wrench in hand, his underused toolbox sitting on the counter. "Danny." Daniel Reagan's posture tightened for a second but he didn't turn around, "I thought I'd give your Honey-Do-List some much needed attention. I'm sorry if I woke you." Linda slipped her arms around her husband's shoulders; her body flush against his back. "Go see him."
Frank was woken by the feeling of a presence, his first thought was that his youngest son had finally woken up but when a check revealed that to be incorrect he knew who it would be before turning around. "Daniel." "Dad." Danny replied greeting his father and helping himself to a chair on the other side of Jamie's hospital bed. "The boys are sleeping soundly and Linda didn't think it was the best time for me to be starting the Honey-Do-List." Frank nodded, "You weren't trying to fix the sink again were you?" Danny smirked slightly letting his father's question go unanswered. "Any change?" The elder Reagan sighed, "No. No change. No movement." Danny nodded as he reached forward grasping his younger brothers arm, "Hey, get it together Jamie, the rest of us would like to get some sleep tonight too." Frank smirked at his son's antics. "The doctor says that he's doing as well as can be expected, he's just not waking up quickly." The father and son both sighed knowing that they were in for the long haul and there would be no rest until they saw their Jamie with his eyes open. "I'll go grab some coffee since someone didn't think about it before they came in." Frank stated standing up, stretching from the position that he had been in for the last three hours. He walked from the room, leaving Danny to sit with his beat up brother.
Danny reached toward his brother allowing his hand to rest on his arm, sending up a quick prayer for healing. "Jamie. You got to wake up. When I saw you…when I knew it was you…" Danny's eyes once again saw the blood, saw the pale skin, and felt the fear. "I just… couldn't take losing another brother."
When Frank got back he walked in to find his eldest sleeping uncomfortably with his head resting on his brother's bed. He felt his own exhaustion as he watched both of his boys, one resting peacefully the other restlessly. Frank sat on a chair in the corner allowing his own body to be pulled toward slumber as he gazed at his boys in front of him.
Danny woke up stiff; he sat up his hand rubbing the knots in his neck instinctively. He glanced out the window surprised to see that it was still dark out wondering what had woken him. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes he noticed a small movement through his foggy vision, "Jamie?" the older brother leaned forward in his seat his question awarded with the small, involuntary movement of his brothers hand. He was waking up. "Jamie. Come on man, you got to wake up for me." By this point Frank had moved to the hospital bed, gently grasping his son's hand. "Son, can you hear me?" Jamie's head began to turn slightly, his eyes moving underneath his eyelids. "Open your eyes son. You're safe." Jamie's eyes squinted and opened, slowly alerting to his position and the people around him. "Hey Dad, hey Danny." Both Frank and Danny cracked real smiles for the first time in 6 hours, "It's good to hear your voice son. You had us worried." "Yeah don't ever do that again." Danny added patting his brother on the shoulder. "Not planning on it." Jamie stated smirking, his eyes drooping once again, only to be quickly forced open again, "Did we get the perp?" Danny laughed lightly, "Yeah kid, we got the perp." Jamie smiled slightly, allowing his eyes to close and sleep to overtake him once again.
The remainder of the night passed quickly for the Reagan men. Frank and Danny each called one of the two households that held the remainder of the Reagan's for the night, sharing the good news of Jamie's awakening and convincing them to wait till morning before they came busting in the hospital doors. Jamie woke several times during the night, each time becoming a bit more aware and remembering more about the attack, asking about Renzuli and whether the thief had been killed. Around 6:00 in the morning Jamie began showing signs of pain, showing that the numbing from the surgery was wearing off fully. Frank called in the doctor to request an up in the pain medication which Jamie tried to deny needing but was quickly out-voted.
The family came as soon as visiting hours opened at 8 am, all of which had taken the day off work to fully devote to family and faith. "What did you all come in a clown car?" Jamie questioned laughing when the whole family entered the room at once. "It's good to see you up and laughing. You had us all worried little brother." Erin stated reaching down to peck her brother on the cheek. The hugs continued until everyone had felt that Jamie was in fact in one piece. Light-conversation had taken over the hospital room when a soft knock sounded at the door. Danny went to open it, not surprised to see Sergeant Renzuli in uniform holding his hat in both hands. "Hey-a Sarge, come on in." Tony nodded taking in each of the Reagan family members until he came to the one he really wanted to see. "Hey-a Reagan, how you holding up?" "Good, thanks to you Sarge." Renzuli shook his head slightly before Jamie continued, "You saved my life. Thanks Partner." Tony stratched his head, "I'm just glad to see that you're alright. I'm sure Danny told you, but it was pretty scary there for a bit." Jamie nodded seeing the anxiety that he must have caused his friend. "Yeah, but I'll be back on the street with you before you know it." Renzuli nodded, "I'll hold you to that." He paused, "Well I better be getting back, I got a lot of paperwork to do." "Wait Renzuli," Jamie called out causing Tony to turn back to the injured man and accepting Jamie's right hand within his left, "Thank you." Renzuli nodded before heading out the door, glad that Jamie was going to be alright, he really liked that kid.
Jamie's eyes were beginning to droop an hour after his family had arrived; the pain meds that he had taken earlier and their sleep inducing side effects finally catching up to him. "I think it's about time for us to allow Jamie to catch some much needed shut eye." Linda announced causing Jamie's eyes to open from their half-masked position. A chorus of "but Mom's" arose from the entire family following the proclamation but they were quickly put to rest by Linda reminding them of her current R.N. position and education. The following five minutes were filled with grateful and heartfelt goodbyes, see you later's, and a hug for each family member including Danny.
Jamie was just about to close his eyes when a chair scraped closer to the bed. He forced his eyes open to find his father once again sitting at his bedside, a biography in his hand and glasses on his nose. "Go to sleep Son. I'm just going to get some reading in while I have the chance." The father smiled, his eyes crinkling as he watched his baby boy's eyes close and his face relax into sleep. The father took a breath, opened his biography and settled into the seat, finally feeling, that for that moment, that his family was safe.
A week after his admission Jamie stood in his hospital room, eager to leave for his father house. He pulled on his shirt grimacing slightly from the pull of the stitches in his chest. He had gotten to look at his future scars recently and was surprised to find how small they appeared on his chest. It was crazy that those two small holes had managed to place him in the hospital for a week and off duty for up to three. Jamie pulled on his jacket next and then turned back to look at his hospital room one last time. "You gonna miss it, college boy?" Danny asked from behind him. Jamie turned around still looking slightly pale and exhausted to his brother's eyes. "No way, let's go." Danny smiled clapping his brother on the back as he passed and picking up the small duffle bag that sat on the floor by the door. It was going to feel nice to be home.