A/n: This piece is written for my gang of internet besties and posted on Tumblr earlier today. This piece is also inspired by a Bollywood song that gave me tremendous Romione feels.
Where the heart lies
He walks out of the tent into the heavy downpour. His clothes are drenched immediately and the tears he had forcefully kept in check spill out to dissolve with the rainwater on his face. His steps slow down, mushy and leaf-scattered soil of the riverbank stick to his boots restricting his movement forward.
But that is not all.
He can still hear her screaming and wants to go back, wants her to come running and drag him into the tent. But minutes pass- many of them, and the tent flap remains fluttering in the wind, but no one comes calling.
His best mate asked him to leave, and she chose to stay back. He waits for a few more minutes hoping she hears his silent plea.
Please, tell me the Horcrux was wrong. Tell me you need me.
But with each passing heartbeat, realisation cuts deep into his skin, just like the chill in the wind. He gives up hope. No one wants him back. She's not coming.
He convinces himself that the voice he hears is only in his head, and slowly the sound of the downpour bears down over his senses, cutting off all other voices.
He closes his eyes, pushing back his fury and pain, concentrating only on an empty field they had crossed once and Disapparates.
….
It takes a million heartbeats for her shield charm to dissolve.
When it finally does, she rushes out frantically calling out for him, fighting the dread at every step, ignoring the freefalling tears.
She pushes the tent flap roughly out of the way and walks into the downpour hoping against hope to find him standing on the other side. But all she finds is the overflowing river and an empty space.
The rain falls heavy and soaks her to the core while she scans for his footsteps in the clumpy waterlogged soil. But any and all traces of him are washed away by the water. She rushes towards the trees screaming his name more frequently than she breathes, but silence is all she finds.
Yes, the rain and the overflowing river is making a ruckus but she hears nothing.
Finally, she stops running. A cold that has nothing to do with the rain and the wind seeps into her heart, promising to stay there- perhaps forever.
He's gone.
…..
During the day, he only focuses on finding them.
He camps under trees and inside caves and eats whatever little he can find. But mostly he eats nothing. Nor does he sleep. He can feel the guilt growing every second that he spends without his friends. It never lets him forget that he abandoned them. He doesn't want to forget anyway. He deserves the pain, he deserves it all.
The only thing he doesn't remember, rather- the only thing he tries not to think of, is her. Those are for the long sleepless nights when the cold threatens to freeze his body. He curls awkwardly under a tree or on a hard rock to keep the cold away and the pain in.
He can hear her then- loud and clear as she calls for him, over and over again.
….
She tries to keep busy.
Make tea, read, find food, pack, unpack, set up defences, remove their traces… The pattern hardly changes.
She doesn't talk much. But most of all she tries not to think of him. Not to think that his bunk lies devoid of his presence, still with the covers arranged haphazardly like he has just left it only minutes ago. But it's been days now, weeks perhaps. She finds it hard to tell one day from the next. Everything is the same- except for his blanket. It now lies hidden in her bunk.
She pauses while pouring hot water in her cup. Her hand shakes so much that she has to grab the counter tightly and keep the tears in check.
She wants to see him once, just once- only to ask him one simple thing- didn't he have even the faintest clue that her world was wrapped around him?
…..
He drags his legs to climb uphill, through another forest this time. It all looks the same now.
His body protests and tired legs threaten to give up. He needs food and sleep, but he urges them on. He needs to check once more. Perhaps they came back here. He searches for her traces, not knowing what exactly he's looking for- knowing well enough that she had mastered the art of erasing all traces of their presence…
But he must go on. He needs to find them- go back to her.
He stops only when he can't take it anymore. He digs out one dry piece of bread and he chews on it while sitting on a rock where he had once spent a night guarding them. He finishes the bread feeling only mildly better and digs through his bag again to pull out the extra wand he had nicked from the Snatchers. He holds it firmly in his hand, telling himself that one spare wand could always come in handy for them. He pulls out the Deluminator and clicks before putting it back in his pocket.
The sky begins to darken and he prepares to welcome her voice back, knowing well that it's all in his head- and heart. As he hears her calling out for him, he wonders if she had the faintest clue that his world was wrapped around hers.
…..
She has forgotten how to smile.
She looks up from her book to watch the open cliffside where they are camping today. A few fragments of memories drift towards her with the wind. She remembers the way he laughs. She hears it in her heart. Two wispy figures take shape in front of her eyes. She sees the way the curly haired girl laughs as the boy cracks a joke. She sees the way they catch each others' eyes sharing unspoken words and shy smiles. She reaches out to touch him and the figures dissolve.
She wonders if she will ever be able to smile again. Wonders what she is still fighting for, but most of all she questions herself why he never realised that her world was where he was.
…..
He knows he can't go on like this. But more than that, he needs to put his rising fears to rest. He needs to know his friends are still out there somewhere- alive and safe. He needs to know they haven't been captured. He needs to know she is safe.
He Apparates just outside the cottage near the cliff.
His brother and sister-in-law rush out, wands at the ready. He answers their question to confirm his identity. Do they realise he no longer identifies himself?
They walk in and his sister-in-law fetches him a meal. His stomach roars at the sight and the smell. He picks up a few morsels and leaves the rest. He had fought with them over these once- food. He doesn't feel very hungry anymore.
His brother asks him about them. He tells him, he abandoned them. Maybe his brother sees the empty man behind those blue eyes but Bill doesn't question further. Ron sees the shame in his brother's eyes and lowers his own before picking up his knapsack and trudging up the stairs.
He goes out each day in search of them. Every day he finds himself in places they had stayed. He's checked all the locations over and over again, hoping-praying in fact, that the two return to a previous location and he's able to go back where he belongs. But each time he comes back alone, and he hates himself a little more for it.
He still hears her voice but it's getting feeble now, and he wonders if she's erased his memories from her life like she erases their traces from the campsites. It makes him feel strangely empty. He searches harder the next day.
He worries if he'll ever get back to where he truly belongs- with his friends. With her.
…..
She cries for him the night they escape Voldemort. She is still shaking as she wraps a blanket over Harry's unconscious form, the Locket burning hot in her hand. She throws it away and curls herself in a chair, Ron's blanket draped over her. It still smells of him but only barely now. She doesn't know any spell to keep the traces of his presence encased in these lifeless articles she clings on to.
She calls for him over and over again that night, but not a word escapes her lips.
Finally, the tears die down and she falls asleep for some brief hours. She dreams about him. He seems to be roaming about in open moors calling out for her.
When she wakes up, it's morning but his blanket is still around her, holding her in like she's in the warmth of his embrace. And that's when she realises how much she's still waiting for his return. Once again she wonders if he ever realised, for even a single moment that her life resided in him.
…..
He thinks he is dreaming. But it's morning and the voice sounds loud and clear- and it's her calling him.
He scrambles up from the chair where he'd fallen asleep and fishes out the Deluminator and clicks it on instinct. A blue light comes out of it. Vibrantly blue and glowing, just like the flames she used to conjure and place in little jars. It floats out of the window and into the garden- waiting.
It takes him just a few heartbeats to pack his knapsack and he keeps checking for it while he does. As he hurries down the stairs he worries that the ball might have left without him. But as he roughly pushes the door, he can see it's still there. This time it floats towards him, right into his chest, just the place where he keeps her memories.
And now he knows. She has called out for him and he knows he'll finally find his way to where his heart truly lies. He doesn't trust himself anymore, but he trusts her. He Disapparates with a burning desire to find his way back.
He also realises that he can't waste more time. He hopes he'll be able to tell Hermione that his entire world lies in her.
Thanks for reading. A review will be highly appreciated as I deviated a lot from my usual writing style!