Silent Turmoil

I

"How many more times are we going to have to go through this? How many more times until we got it right? How much longer before I could touch freedom?"

Sighing for what felt like the hundredth-time, chocolate brown eyes closed as she released the breath she had been holding. It was finally night. They had been searching nonstop the whole day and found nothing. She warned him after the first two hours that she was feeling nothing in the direction they had been going, but what else did she expect with him leading. The truth is as much as the action was exhilarating, she was glad for the quiet, long and ordinary day. As it stood she was getting tired of having to replace her school uniform which she begrudgingly admitted just wasn't practical here for multiple reasons. She frowned thinking of how poor people's opinions of her were simply, because they didn't know she came from a time period, where her choice of dress was actually acceptable and mandatory attire when attending school.

Thanks to the warm summer months here the nights were kinder than in the winter to her body. She raised her arms out in a lazy stretch reaching for the sky before allowing them to lazily drop back down to her sides. Staring out at the stars she made her way closer to the ledge and waited until her sight met the bottom of sea below her.

"Mama, I used to think that if I tried really hard to become everything that he needed that he would be able to see me."

Smiling softly into the night she ignored the cascade of tears gliding gently down her face.

"I thought that I could take it mama. I thought that I would be able to continue on, but…I just feel so lonely some days mama…when its finally over where will my home be? Will I still have one?"

Shaking her head at her own self-suffering she squared her shoulders. A gust of wind pushed the unbound hair over her shoulders and danced wildly around her. Laughing gently she turned her eyes away from the open sea and began making her way back to camp, back to the heart ache waiting for her; back to her end.

"Mama, I miss you so much."

Drying her eyes as she made her way back to camp she breathed through the ache growing inside of her. Widening her smile, she blinked a few times hoping it would reach her eyes. On her walk back, she took some blades of clean grass and gently rubbed them against the skin of her face to cover up the scent of her tears. Any other night she could stand to fight and argue, but not tonight. Tonight, she needed to be alone with her thoughts and her feelings, because tomorrow she would have to continue to be their beacon of hope and source of their strength.

Opening up her hand she allowed the winds to blow the blades grass into the winds and off to a new destination. As her camp came into view she smiled at the warmth the sight of them created inside her. Her beloved sister, nestled unknowingly against the back of Miroku. It was a clear unconscious yearning to be near him, even though she fought during the day to keep her distance from the often-perverse mannerisms of the monk. Her sister's silent protector curled up cutely by their heads.

Grimacing only for a moment at their silent, moody guardian up in a tree snoozing lightly she shook the feeling away, there had been enough tears for the night. Tearing her eyes away to the little bundled curled up in her sleeping bag she allowed the warmth to come back and fill her being. Resting eyes upon her pride and joy, who was, sleeping soundlessly with out a care in the world. She stared at his sleeping form for a moment taking in the sight of him. Every so often his tail would switch, she watched his nose come to life and watched as beautiful emerald gems were revealed to her.

"Mama…you're back. Tired yet?" he mumbled quietly as to not wake anyone in their camp and made room for her to lay down.

"Exhausted," she whispered sweetly. Gently lowering herself into the sleeping bag she brought him closer and inhaled his scent as he did the same. "You smell like the forest and wild flowers." She listened to him giggle softly at her admission before his breathing evened out and he was lost to her in a dream. Listening closely to his heart beat she allowed her breathing to fall into rhythm before she was lost in a world of her own.