~fade out~
The existence of eternity, at the expense of life.
She stops breathing.
Sprawled on the floor, in that endearingly clumsy way of his, is Natsu.
Natsu. Natsu. Natsu.
She repeats it over and over and over again in her mind. Natsu is here. He is safe.
He is alive.
She can't help but simply stare at him – at that achingly familiar pink hair, at the dragon scale patterned scarf, at the way his eyes see right through her as they always have – for a long, long moment.
Her eyes move reluctantly off Natsu and behind him – another pang shoots through her heart – are those other faces she's missed so much, that she cried so hard for, that deserved so much more than they got. Beyond them, she can hear just the faintest of rumbling cheers from the tournament, even this far underground; her chest constricts painfully as more faces flash in front of her and she almost reels back.
And all over again, Lucy feels as if she's the one dying instead of everyone else who never should have.
Her view blurs like the day before as tears begin gathering at the corner of her eyes and streaming down her face against her wishes. Pathetic. Shameful. Hadn't she promised to be stronger than this? For their sakes?
For the citizens of this country.
For her beloved guild.
For Laxus. For Lily. For Gajeel. For Juvia. For Mira.
For Carla. For Wendy. For Happy.
For Erza.
For Gray.
For Natsu.
Every additional name is another stab at her heart and the memories slowly bleed out, pooling around her feet as a memento of what has been lost.
Lucy can't stop the gasping sobs now, raising her left hand shakily to her own face. She can't see them anymore. The faces of the present are melting together with the faces of the past and her vision is suddenly filled again with the images of roaring flames, wafting smoke, a ravaged battlefield, and multitudes of empty graves.
Too many graves.
"I'm sorry…"
She doesn't know who she's apologizing to now, but she knows it's not enough. One apology isn't enough – won't ever be enough to make up for all the hopes and dreams and wishes and people that were lost on that fated day.
It's strange then, Lucy thinks, that this is the moment she feels herself stiffen with resolve. This, right now, is what she came here to do. This is what she gained power for. To prevent this cycle of tragedy from occurring, so that she could see everyone's smiling faces again and laugh together at all the stupid things she used to take for granted.
She wants to see them. She wants to save them. She wants to let them know how much they matter to her.
She wants… a lot of things, probably.
And that's why she finally pushes the heavy hood down, letting it fall down her back, and swears it will be worth it.
An apology won't ever make everything up. An apology won't ever fix everything that needs to be fixed.
"…Lend me… your strength…"
But maybe with an apology, she can begin to try.
A/N: A spur of the moment oneshot after Chapter 312. Sorry for how bad this is; I don't even know what I was writing. I'm sure I'm not the only one who went "I KNEW IT" when the hooded girl was revealed, but I'm still reeling a bit and I have a lot of feelings about it now. A little theory of mine is that the people who are participating in the tournament will die and something happens to all the Dragon Slayers. Just a wild guess though.
For those who've read my other story "Drowning The Hero In Love", the last chapter will be up in a few days.