My eyes open, and I find myself staring at posters of Broadway shows. That's when I realize where I am. My boyfriend lays next to me. I love waking up next to him in the morning. He makes me feel so alive, like my soul has been awakened. Finally. Warmth radiates off of his skin in invisible waves. I slowly turn my head to face him, and I am bombarded with his delicious scent on our shared pillow. It's a mix of his cologne and his beloved hairspray. His eyelids flutter gently, probably from his dreaming.
I slowly raise my hand to stroke against his soft, smooth cheek. It twitches under my fingertips. I love touching him, gently stroking his face, or any other part of him. It's so heavenly. His eyelids begin to flurry even more. Ever so slowly he opens his eyes, and I am captured in his deep, ocean-colored irises.
"Morning," he says, voice trodden with sleep. His hair, mussed, flops into his face when he moves closer to me. I brush it out of his face with my finger.
"Morning sunshine," I whisper into his forehead. "Sorry I woke you."
He mumbles, I can't make out what he says. Then, "…bound to wake up sooner or later." His head shifts, snuggling into my chest. I gently move my chin to rest atop his head. A sigh of contentment leaves my lips. His head moves with the expansion of my lungs. It's moments like these that think perfection exists.
"I love you," passes my lips without hesitation, without restraint. "I love being here with you, feeling like my whole world is complete." He moves just that much closer, though I don't know how.
"I love you." Simple. It flows so naturally out of his mouth. My heart flutters in my chest beneath his ear, and I'm sure he heard it. "Are you okay?"
I take a second to answer. "Yes, baby. I just love hearing you say that." My smile stretches across my face, and I duck my head down to kiss his forehead. But before I can, he suddenly moves up to rest his head on the pillow, and he asks something that I feel surprised by.
"How many people did you love before me?"
Kurt's question was startling to say the least. In the back of my mind, I sort of knew that he would want to know about my past loves, but I never expected him to ask this soon. I always thought we'd be further along in our relationship before this topic came up. It seems only fair though. He's told me of his past lovers.
"Well…" I hesitate just a little. It's not the fact that he asked and I don't want to tell; it's that I'm caught off guard. He senses my hesitancy.
"You don't need to…I guess it's just my curiosity getting the best of me."
"No, it's not…" I sigh. "Two," I state.
"Tw…really?" He looks into my eyes; I can see the questions burning. He wants to ask me more about them. He bows his head. Looking at our comforter. I move up into a sitting position, resting my back against our headboard; Kurt follows without hesitation.
"Yeah," I start. "Two others." I turn my head to look at Kurt. He is already looking at me, and I watch as his hand creeps toward mine. I let him grasp my hand in his. Our fingers intertwine; it's a perfect fit.
"The first was during the high school. He was…amazing." I look at Kurt; he's giving me his full attention. I clear my throat, and lick my lips. "His name was Jesse. We were in rival glee clubs, but we didn't let that stop us. We'd meet at the Lima Bean after school almost every day. In the beginning, our relationship was more emotional than physical. We never really got…" I struggle to find words. "Physical. We talked far too much for that. I mean, yeah, we kissed sometimes, but nothing more progressive than that. Our trysts at the Lima Bean eventually migrated to his place." I squeeze the hand that's entwined with mine, and it reassuringly clasps back.
"He was my first. After all that talking and kissing, we had finally come together physically." I stop. I don't know if I can do this; it brings up too many memories. Kurt senses my hesitation of the topic.
"Blaine, you don't…" I stop him.
"I know, but I think I should." I scoot closer to Kurt and rest my head on his shoulder. "After that…" My words catch in my throat. "I never heard from him again. I really loved him, and I thought that he loved me, too. He just wanted to sleep with me. It broke my heart. I felt so used and unworthy of anything." I sigh. He puts his other hand on top of our entangled hands.
"Sebastian was the next person I loved. We were in an acapella group in college. Our relationship was so…strained when we first met. He was really flirty, and he could not keep it in his pants. I was sort of jealous of him. He loved so freely, where I could not even think of loving anyone else after Jesse.
"After a while of being hit on, I finally decided to make the brave decision of confronting him. I told him to either take me out on a date or stop hitting on me. Little did I know that he would actually take me on a date." I pause. I look up at Kurt and he's just intently listening to me talk. I smile and continue.
"He taught me how to love again. We went on so many dates, even more than those I had with Jesse." I smile as I recall so many memories of Sebastian. "He was so good looking, too. We become the power couple of our acapella group. We dated for a while, until we just stopped working.
"We started to fight a lot. Over little things, stupid things." I roll my eyes at myself. I was so naïve back then. "We eventually decided to end it. Our joint decision came to be a saving grace." I look up at Kurt. My head leaves his shoulder and I just continue to look at his angelic face.
"Why was it a 'saving grace?'" He looks so puzzled, it's adorable. I lean over and place my lips over his for just a second. When I pull away he has a dreamy look on his face.
"It's a saving grace because after I broke it off with him, I met you." He looks like he's going to cry, and I feel as though I am going to, as well. "Kurt…" I pause thinking of how to put my thoughts into words.
He sits there next to me, tears welling. "I met you in that little café after my break up with Sebastian. I saw you sitting there in that corner table, and I felt this instant pull toward you. That never would have happened if Sebastian and I hadn't broken it off when we did." I continue to take in his emotion. God. He is so perfect.
"Really?" His breath catches in his throat. He inhales and tries to keep his tears in. He doesn't succeed. I just reach over and wipe them off of his face. "Blaine…" He trails off.
"Kurt, I love you, so much. Our meeting was fated to happen." I brush away his remaining tears. My palms stay on his face, my thumbs rub gentle circles on his cheeks. I lean in and give him a longer kiss. Our lips gently glide over one another. His jaw is strong beneath his contrastingly soft skin. His hands come to clasp behind my neck as we continue to kiss. My hands tangle in his soft, downy hair.
We break apart. I stare into his eyes as he gazes into mine. "I love you." He states it with such clarity, such emotion.
"I love you," breezes past my lips, those same ones that were just upon his. "You are my forever. I can promise you that. I love you so much." I hope he realizes that I love him so much more than I could have ever loved Sebastian, or even Jesse. One day I am going to marry this wonderful man that I am looking at, but for now we are just going to enjoy every day that we have together.
This is my first published Klaine story. Reviews are appreciated, but not required.
*I would like to give a special shout out to my beta, faerieoftara! Thank you for everything!*