Miku woke with a start. She groaned, and tried to find a more comfortable, warmer position. The cold stones on the floor really didn't help.
With another groan, she opened her eyes. It was dark around her, and the only other living being here were the alley cats in the garbage cans. She rubbed her eyes with her muddy hand, and got up. The cold, winter air was late leaving for the spring. Ignoring the shivers from her body, she walked up to the trash. The cats hissed and departed when she shook a container.
Miku shivered again. All she was wearing was a jeans and a short-sleeved shirt, with a thin sweater. It really didn't suffice in these harsh conditions.
She rummaged through the trash. She didn't care about getting her hands dirty; they couldn't get much worse than they were already.
Nothing to eat. Well, nothing that looked close to edible. Groaning when her stomach made her hunger more known, she grabbed a cup. She was going to beg, it was her last resort.
Miku shivered again as she came to the more populated streets. She didn't like sitting out here in the open. It made her feel ridiculous, less than human, even. People laughed and insulted her because of her dirty clothes and hair.
So she only stayed at the mildly populated streets. The chances of surviving financially were les great, but it spared the poor girl a lot of ridicule.
Miku chose a place in the corner, a place that wouldn't bother too many people, but that was still visible.
She sat down carefully, wincing as she felt the cold stones through her thin jeans. She put the cup in front of her, and wrapped her arms around her knees.
The girl could only look at the passing people, all comfortable in their warm jackets. Couples walked by arm-in-arm, drinking a hot coffee or eating warm bread. Children twirled around, rejoicing about going to school to play with their friends.
Miku felt tears coming to her eyes. She was once one of them…
A group of young teenage boys walked by, pointing and laughing at her misfortune. She felt her gut clench.
This was all so unfair. It wasn't her fault she got here, just a whole bunch of ill luck.
She inhaled deeply, wanting to sob again when the smell of warm treats filled her nose. Her stomach growled again. She was so unlucky.
For hours, Miku sat there, resisting nasty remarks, and every now and then collecting a coin. She didn't look up, and shivered whenever the wind collected in the corner.
Miku rubbed her hands together. She really was cold.
Shifting again, trying to find a better position, the girl stuffed her head on her knees. She flinched when she heard somebody stop in front of her. Two thick brown boots entered Miku's vision.
"This is unusual" Miku's eyes opened wide, but she refused to raise her head. This voice…it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. It didn't sound sarcastic, pitiful, or mocking. It was making a statement, not being polite, but then again, it was far from rude. "Tell me, how old are you?" Miku didn't want to answer, but did anyway. To be able to talk to somebody only came every once in two months. This moment was almost like gold to her.
"Sixteen" she barely said it loud enough for the stranger to hear. The person kneeled before her, but Miku didn't look up. She didn't want to face a perfectly ordinary, lucky person with her own eyes.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?" her breath caught. School… the memories flashed back, the sneers, the pushes, the friends that turned their backs on her.
"What school?" she almost snapped. The woman, it was most certainly a woman, didn't flinch.
"What about your family?" pushes, screams, words of dishonor flashed in front of the younger girl's eyes.
"What family?" the woman sighed.
"You really have nowhere else to be, then?" Miku shook her head between her arms, and shivered again when another gust of wind rolled down her spine. She was sure this lady saw it.
"My, it is cold out here. Come with me, I'll give you something warm to eat" Miku wanted to refuse. She wanted to accept. Who takes offers from a stranger? Who denies a warm meal when you didn't have any for almost two months?
The stranger stood up, and Miku almost relunctantly followed, her legs and arms stiff. She picked up her plastic cup and looked inside.
Fifty yen. Not a lot, for sure. Barely enough for one drink.
"Come on, my house isn't far away" offered the woman. Miku followed slowly as she started walking.
Miku didn't know what to do. This person was really acting nice, but could she bet trusted? They just barely met, after all. Miku didn't know if she should continue following this person. Her instinct told her to be wary, but her stomach told her otherwise.
Her steps slowed down, and she grew uncertain. The older woman chuckled.
"You don't want to stay outside in this cold, do you? Come on, it's not five minutes away. If you really want to leave, I won't stop you" Miku swallowed. This person was being so nice…
With a slow step, she continued walking.
Sure enough, Miku was led to the door of an apartment in less than five minutes. The stranger opened the door, wiped her feet on the mat, and motioned for the younger girl to follow.
Miku did the same, and looked around.
It was a neat place, and gave off a warm feeling. Everything was either wooden or white leather, giving the room a sturdy feeling, yet the decorations gave off a friendlier aura. Miku still didn't meet her savior's eyes.
Miku felt warmth spread through her limbs just by standing inside. She didn't feel so warm since…
The woman closed the door, keeping it unlocked, and hung her jacket. For some reason, the atmosphere felt a little slightly stiff. This nice lady must have seen her face as she was looking around. She must have been revolted by her.
"So, what do you want? Coffee, tea?" Miku asked for tea, still not looking at the nice woman, only at her feet as they entered the kitchen. Miku heard the water start to boil after a few moments.
"Don't just stand there, make yourself at home! This isn't a prison, so feel comfortable!" Miku nodded, even if her host couldn't see.
She slowly walked towards the big table, her dirty socks slightly staining the white, tiled floor. Miku winced when she saw the foot prints.
"Ah, no biggie. It's easily removed, so don't worry" Miku relaxed a bit. This person was being really nice.
Miku admired the wooden furniture and the white walls. Everything seemed so comfortable. Completely the contrary to her old house-
Screams, yells, hits. Miku winced again, stopping in her tracks as the horrible memories filled her head again. Her host's voice saved her from her travel back to hell.
"Come, sit!" Miku turned around, only to freeze again.
She was absolutely gorgeous.
No other information was processed in Miku's mind. No details, no colors, nothing small or little was distinguished. Only the whole, entire outline stuck in her mind.
Completely frozen, she forgot she was supposed to do something, anything. She forgot she was in a stranger's house, saved from the biting cold. She forgot her problems, her past. All that because of this person.
Immediately, Miku felt sick. She wasn't supposed to…
Quickly snapping out of her trance, the girl averted her gaze and gingerly sat down at the table. The woman handed her the cup, which Miku took carefully, avoiding physical contact.
The warmth of the small object made her spine tingle. She hadn't had anything hot to eat since…forever. Actually, since Christmas.
Carefully taking a sip, Miku felt the stranger's gaze on her. The image of her face reappeared in her mind, making Miku wince. This was wrong…
"Why did you take me in?" she asked, all of a sudden. "Why did you help me?" she didn't dare look up. Miku heard the person shrug a little.
"I couldn't just leave you there. It was ice cold, and you were shivering" Miku didn't feel satisfied by this. It felt absent of something important.
Or was she trying to find a better reason? Was she trying to find another reason for this marvelous person to bring her in?
Shaking her head, she let the question die.
Miku took another sip, a surprisingly comfortable silence filling the room. Miku relished in this simple cup of tea. It was gold to her eyes.
But what was she doing here, in a stranger's house? In the house of a person who had welcomed her for no peculiar reason?
Miku felt like she was intruding.
"What's your name?" the girl nearly jumped at the sudden question. She replied after some time.
"Miku…" that was all she would say. 'Hatsune' didn't belong to her anymore, anyways.
"You can call me Luka. And please, don't feel shy" Miku blushed a little. How could she not be shy? She was in a stranger's house! And…
Miku quickly took another sip, trying not to think about 'it', 'the' reason she was pushed out of her house.
"I don't want to be nosy, but how could a perfectly healthy young girl like you do in the streets?" Miku replied coldy.
"I was kicked out. My parents didn't want me anymore" she answered quickly. She really didn't want to get into details, especially with this person.
"Well, if I know one thing, it's that I don't understand your parents" said Luka. Miku saw that she was trying to lighten the mood. "I don't see why anybody would forbid you to go home. You seem like a charming girl" Miku blushed. She really didn't want to take compliments right now.
"I don't really want to talk about it…" she muttered. She felt Luka smile.
"Well, I live here alone. My parents gave it to me for some reason, so you can stay with me if you want"
Miku's head shot up. What? Did she hear right? Did this person just offer to a complete stranger for her to stay? This was completely absurd!
Yet Miku tried to stay polite.
"I don't want to-" the woman interrupted her.
"You're not going to be a burden, or any other excuse of that genre! You have no home, while I have one completely to myself. I don't care about the rent, or taxes. If you want to stay, then you're welcome to" Miku was still baffled.
"But…but why?"
"Because I don't want a pretty girl like you to waste your life on the streets. You have a future, and that's not sitting on cold stone all day" Miku blushed again.
She didn't want to stay with this woman, yet she actually really did want to. Her heart and her reason were each pulling her in different directions.
She had no idea what to do. She really wanted a warm place to stay, study, and have a future like Luka said. But this is all so sudden, and the offer is coming from a person she barely knew!
Again, it was absurd.
Yet Miku knew she was going to bend.
"If it really doesn't bother you-"
"I already said that. Stay if you want, consider this a free hotel" Miku felt her blush intensify.
"I think I could stay a few nights" there. Miku felt her heart dance a little victory dance while her reason started scolding her. She knew this was going to end really badly. Luka smiled.
"Great! Time for a proper introduction! My name is Megurine Luka-call me anything besides Luka and I'll flog you-, I'm seventeen, my favorite food is fish, my favorite color is teal –like your hair-, I sing, and I go to Vocaloid High School. And what about you?" Miku was taken aback. Seventeen? She seemed so much older- as a compliment, mind you- but still! She seemed at least twenty!
A little shaken and embarrassed, she tried to match her introduction with Luka's.
"I'm Miku, I'm sixteen, I like leeks, my favorite color is sky blue" like her eyes… "I don't really have a hobby, and I got kicked out of Crypton High School" she finished.
Luka smiled.
"Maybe you could go with me to my school. I'm sure you'll like it there" Miku was once again shocked.
Why in the name of deaf pigeons was this woman being so nice to her? A home, a school, what next? A job? A husband?
Miku blushed again. No, she will never have a husband, she knew that.
"You blush a lot, don't you?" Miku's blush intensified. "Hey, I don't mind. In fact, you're cute when you blush" Miku's face became even redder. Now a tomato was pale in comparison. Luka laughed.
"You're really cute, Miku. So, what would you like for dinner? I suppose something with leeks?" Miku slowly nodded. When was the last time she had a leek? Forever, almost.
"Alright. I'm going to go shop for a few things. Do you want to wait here?" Miku hesitated a moment, but nodded.
Did Luka actually trust a homeless to stay alone in her house? Seriously, Miku could grab anything worth much and flee.
"Ok, I'll be back in about an hour" without waiting for an answer, Luka left the house, quickly pulling on her coat and shoes.
Miku decided to look around.
Walking through the halls, she found a living room. There was a large flat screen TV in front of a big comfortable looking couch. Books filled a bookcase on the opposite wall from the door.
Going back, Miku walked past the kitchen and dining room, and found a very simple bathroom. Further up there was a staircase, so Miku walked up to the next floor.
One long hall, with three rooms on each side. The first to the left was a study, with another bookcase and a desk. All pens, pencils, ink, sharpeners, staplers, everything was neatly put in different containers. The room opposite the study was a bathroom. A tub and a shower, a large mirror and again very neatly cleaned up brush and toothpaste. Almost no makeup was to be seen, not like Luka needed any. The next room on the left side of the hall was Luka's bedroom. Once Miku knew what it was, she turned around. It was rude to intrude in somebody else's most private room. She learned that the hard way.
The next room, next to Luka's bedroom, was big and empty. Nothing besides a few lamps and a glass roof. Finding that a little peculiar, Miku headed to the last two rooms.
Both were guest rooms. A bed, a desk, and a bookcase.
Heading downstairs, Miku realized that everything was clean to the slightest speck of dust and every object had a neat place. The tidiness was almost shocking.
It seemed opposite to the person living here. She was open, humorous, and greeted random people.
It was still strange, that this person would greet her in such a way. She invited a complete stranger for tea, then invited her to stay and go to the same school! She was either extremely peculiar or very wise.
But, that didn't trouble Miku as much as she expected. Hell, she wished it was what troubled her the most. But, it wasn't. She had a bigger problem on her mind.
Miku looked at herself. All dirty, with muddy clothes. At least her socks didn't leave any footprints anymore.
She headed to the kitchen and washed her hands. For the moment, that was the least she could do.
She heard the front door open.
"Hey, I'm back!" Miku nearly jumped out of her skin. Already? How quickly had she been walking? Looking at the clock, she saw that it had in fact been one hour.
that was the fastest hour in Miku's life.
Miku came to meet her to prove that she was still there. No need to make this person think that she had run off with her computer and hi-def. television.
"There you are! I brought things to make dinner and a few clothes for you" Miku nearly fainted. Seriously? She brought her clothes? Now she was sure the taller girl was stupid.
"You didn't have to-"
"Yes, yes I did" interrupted the seventeen-year-old while heading for the kitchen. She really had a way of interrupting people as they spoke, it seemed.
"So, when do you want to eat?" she was acting as if they knew each other for years. It seemed odd. Miku shrugged.
"I don't know"
"Then we'll eat now"
The whole evening passed peacefully. They got to know each other better, and discovered the other's personality.
Luka found Miku was a bit mysterious, serious, and focused. She did her best to stay on subject, but succumbed to jokes and funny stories. She didn't brag about anything and was reserved.
Luka was open, playful and never seemed to keep a fixed subject. Connecting one thing to the other, their discussion departed from their favorite things to food to trees to gardens. She wasn't a person to boast, and saw a positive light in everything. And, not to forget, she was a great cook.
Whatever it was called she made with the leeks was delicious, and Miku finished it before Luka could start the conversation (fast, real fast).
Miku instantaneously felt more comfortable. This person was actually very nice, but seemed a little aloof and distracted. Yet, she was a good person to be with.
Washing the dishes, Luka asked Miku where she wanted to sleep.
"Well, anywhere is better the cold rock" Luka laughed.
"Then you can take one of the guestrooms. You can choose which one" they finished the dishes, and Luka handed Miku the bag of clothes.
"You can have the shower first. Clean up, and try these on" Miku nodded and headed for the bathroom.
Making sure to lock the door, Miku studied herself in the mirror.
She was really dirty, literally. Covered in mud from head to toe, she wasn't going to be a beauty contest winner.
This Luka person was very interesting. Miku enjoyed her company, and managed to drown the uncomfortable atmosphere she felt when close to the taller girl.
And yet, Miku knew nothing good was going to come from staying with her. She knew she was going to end up kicked out again.
As the hot water started washing away the mud, Miku found herself not caring anymore.
When did she last have a hot shower? She had no idea, but she knew it felt good.
The water washed away her worries as well, and Miku decided to make the best of what was going to come.
Miku opened her eyes. She was in a warm bed, on a soft mattress, her head resting on a soft, warm pillow.
Oh, yeah…Luka had taken her in.
Miku smiled widely and stretched. She hadn't slept so well in days, weeks. She looked at the clock, and saw that it was ten thirty.
This is the first time in weeks that she had slept late.
Slipping on her new slippers Luka had brought her the day before, she headed downstairs.
Luka had brought her everything. Shirts, pants, socks, even underwear, much to Miku's embarrassment. The pair of slippers, the pajama and the bathrobe were also given to her by the tall girl.
Miku came downstairs, to find it deserted. A note hung on a fridge by a butterfly magnet. (*sweatdrop*)
"Hey, Miku. I'm at school, it's Monday today. I'll be back at four, approximately. I'll ask if you can come, too" Mika nearly face-palmed. She hadn't even accepted to go to that school yet!
And yet, she wanted to study, or anything like that. For months she had hung out in the streets, and now she craved to learn something else then how to beg.
Actually feeling thankful towards the taller girl, she started rummaging through the cupboards. Some cereal would suffice.
Miku did pretty much nothing all day. She ate breakfast, then looked around in the bookshelves, avoiding anything that seemed personal. She didn't touch anything electronic, but read the whole day.
Halfway through the book 'Message for The King', Miku heard the door open. The closing of said door was joined with a loud sigh.
"Hey, Luka" greeted Miku as she joined her savior. Luka smiled.
"Hey"
"How was school?"
"Tiring, as usual"
"Tiring?"
"Yeah" Luka sat down at the dinner table, and opened her bag. Miku sat in front of her.
"What was so tiring?"
"The usual" Miku groaned.
"And what's the usual?" Luka laughed.
"Imagine you're a hot girl, with good grades and a rich family. Nobody's going to ask you out or ask you anything" Miku sat straight.
She had forgotten about those things. All she remembered from school was sitting in a class and sleeping all day. But there were the popular, smart chicks, too.
Realization hit her like a freight train.
"So, you have a boyfriend?" Miku was scared of the answer, and was also scared of the reason of why she was scared for the answer. Luka laughed again.
"Not a chance in the world" Miku slouched again.
"How come?"
"Nobody there interests me, for some reason" Miku felt immense relief spread through her limbs, and almost winced. Did she have to be like this?
Luka started unpacking her books, and opened one with the word 'Math' smothered over the front.
"What is that?" Luka laughed.
"Hard" Miku looked at the exercises. It was not that hard.
"I hate math. I prefer English" grumbled Luka, writing down an answer. Miku made a face. English? She really didn't like English. It made no sense. Seriously, why is the word 'one' pronounced the same as 'won'? No sense whatsoever.
Miku carefully looked over the questions. When Luka wrote down a nine, Miku shook her head.
"That's wrong" Luka looked up at her.
"What?"
"The answer you just wrote. It's wrong. F(x)=3x - x divided by 2. When x is four it does not create nine, but ten. Four times three is twelve, and twelve minus two is ten" Luka looked it over, and groaned.
"I hate math"
"I like math"
"Math is hard"
"Math makes sense"
"You win. Can you help?" Miku nodded, and sat next to the girl.
Miku felt nervous as she looked at the tall building. It seemed very menacing, but Luka assured her that everybody here was really nice. For some reason, the 'if you're having fun, you're not learning' sign on the wall didn't reassure her.
The past week the two have gotten to know each other better than ever. Miku helped Luka with math while Luka tutored her English. Luka showed the smaller girl what they were studying, and Miku understood perfectly. Nevertheless, Miku was going in tenth grade, while Luka was one above her.
Miku looked at all of those people. She recognized some, having seen them at the train station in early mornings and late evenings.
Luka put a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry, nobody will tease you. I'll make sure of that" the taller girl then looked around while Miku observed the crowd.
A few kids their age were running towards them. Luka greeted them with a smile.
"Hey, guys!" a girl with short brown hair looked at Miku.
"Let me guess. Miku, am I right?" Miku nodded, and a boy with blonde hair laughed.
"Yes, the mysterious girl with no last name!" Luka grumbled.
"I told you not to call her that!" Miku blushed in embarrassment. They had been talking about her? A tall boy with long purple hair stepped forward.
"You have no idea how much we've heard about you. Luka would just keep talking and talking about you-"
"That's well enough, Gakupo" yelled Luka, and Miku winced. Did Luka just yell? That was a first. The brunette laughed.
"Really, Gakupo. You're the only person who can make Luka yell" the boy rubbed the back of his head.
"Ok. Everybody, this is Miku" introduced Luka. "As if you don't know. Miku, these are Meiko, Kaito, Gakupo, Len and Rin" Luka pointed to everybody as she said their names. Miku nodded. They seemed like nice people.
Suddenly Kaito, the boy with the blue hair, leaned forward.
"You seem familiar. Have I seen you somewhere?" Miku tensed. Meiko also started studying her.
"That's right, I have the impression of already having seen you…" Luka laughed.
"Well, let's just say I saved her from a miserable step in life!" Miku blushed.
"Luka! Stop embarrassing me!" Luka smiled and patted her head. A girl who looked a lot like the blonde boy tilted her head to the side.
"Strange. I've never seen Luka smile so much" Everybody looked at her and she blushed. "What? I'm just thinking out loud!" Len, the boy, looked at his watch.
"We gotta get to class, guys. The bell rings in two minutes!" indeed, the grounds were getting deserted; everybody was going inside.
"Miku, you're in the same class as Rin and Len. Just follow them, ok?" Miku nodded at Luka, and ran after the duo.
Miku found it strange that those two looked so much alike.
"Say, are you two twins?" Rin nodded.
"Yup, twins one day, twins every day!" Len shook his head.
"Well, here is the class"
Miku was introduced to the class, and Miku could help but realize that some of her new classmates recognized her. Maybe hanging out at the station wasn't a good idea.
Miku was seated behind the twins, next to a curious girl with long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail to the side of her head.
"Haven't I seen you somewhere?" whispered the girl as the class started. Miku felt a slight frustration. This was the first time she went to school on months, and now she couldn't even listen to the teacher.
"Maybe" she replied quickly before turning her head back towards the front of the class.
"Well, anyway, I'm Akita Neru, nice to meet you Miku!" Miku nodded and listened for the rest of the hour.
Miku was in heaven. Homework, teachers, regular people who didn't laugh at her demise. For many the first few might be hell, but for her it was gold.
She sighed and waited for Rin and her brother to finish packing their bags. Miku had already finished packing hers before the hour even finished.
"Say, Miku. Why the hell are you so happy?" demanded Rin, dragging the heavy bag behind her. Miku just hummed in response, and followed the two towards the cafeteria.
Luka was already there, surrounded by her older friends. The brunette smiled when she saw Miku.
"Well, look who's happy" said Meiko, looking at Miku's wide smile. Luka offered the teal-haired girl a seat, which she took happily.
"So, make any friends?" she asked. Miku nodded.
"You, Meiko, Kaito, Rin, Len and this girl named Neru" everybody chuckled at the joke, while Gakupo frowned.
"Besides us?" Miku shook her head. "So what's with the smile?"
"It's just that I'm here in a normal school, surrounded by nice people" she said joyfully, unwrapping her lunch. Luka had made it for her that morning, and Miku was impatient to taste it.
"Oh? Why does that make you so happy?" Miku shrugged and admired the leek-y meal her friend had made her. Leeks everywhere. Now she was in paradise.
"It just seems so nice after spending so much time on the streets!" she said, not really caring anymore. These people were her friends now, anyway.
Everybody froze half a second, before Meiko nodded.
"I thought I saw you somewhere. Tell me, how did you get here?" Miku smiled.
"Luka already said that" Luka smiled as well.
"Yep, I'm the hero!" Kaito scratched his head at that.
"You just took her in? But you barely knew her!"
"Not anymore!" said the two girls at the same time.
"But why?" Miku looked at Luka, her smile falling the slightest bit.
"Indeed, Luka. Why did you actually take me in? You didn't give me a convincing reason" Luka pouted.
"You seemed convinced at the time"
"Well, I was drinking hot tea for the first time in months!" Luka looked away, grumbling. Gakupo stepped forward.
"And what were you actually doing outside at such cold weather?" Miku froze.
The yells, the screams, objects flying in her direction. Cold eyes, silent halls, books and pages ripped, yells in disgust.
Everybody observed as the girl who was smiling just a second ago started shrinking in her seat.
"I don't want to talk about it" Luka wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Baka, Gakupo! I told you not to ask her! She wouldn't even tell me!"
"I wonder what would terrify her that much" whispered Rin. "Just thinking out loud!" she added, waving her arms frantically.
They watched in confusion as Miku seemed to enter a nightmare, her eyes open, but life seeming absent. Fear and confusion flashed multiple times in those teal orbs. Luka rubbed her shoulders.
"Miku, wake up, its ok!" she tried, and Miku shook her head.
"Sorry for that" she said with a weak smile, tears brimming her eyes. "I think I need to be alone for a while" and with that, she got up and ran towards the restroom.
"What was that?" asked Gakupo.
"That was your fault, idiot"
Miku sat on the ground, leaning against the cabinet door. She didn't want to be disturbed now.
For some reason, the flashback was worse this time.
It hurt, it hurt so badly.
And now, it was almost worse.
00oo00
Luka walked towards the bathroom.
What made Miku so scared? She had asked the same question, but it wasn't this bad. Miku only rejected answering, she didn't enter whirlpool of fear, or whatever it was.
She stopped in front of the door, and heard light sobs.
Miku seemed in great distress.
Luka felt her gut clench. She felt very sad for Miku all of a sudden. Why did such a sweet girl have to go through such a torment? She didn't deserve such a past, Luka knew that for sure.
Miku turned on her side for the nineteenth time, and looked at the clock.
3 am. Miku groaned.
Exactly a week ago, Miku had joined the school. Miku had it easy, she understood everything, even English thanks to Luka's help. She had aced her first test, earning a celebration from Luka's part. Miku had become good friends with Luka and the rest of the group. After school they would hang out, and do their homework. They even went to the movies that afternoon to celebrate Miku's A.
And yet, despite everything, days were getting worse and worse. Miku knew she wasn't supposed to stay, she knew things were going to end like this. She knew her feelings would turn in this direction.
She knew she would get kicked out all over again.
And seeing 'her' day after day only made those memories come back more and more often, and in greater, more painful detail.
Miku knew she would have to leave again, eventually. And 'eventually' meant soon.
She turned over again, facing the white wall.
Even if Luka was a good joker, she could become super serious. She had A's on almost every test, and you should see her face when she did her homework. But also, she was super-serious with her friends when she had to.
The last Wednesday, a boy in the halls had recognized Miku, and had started yelling at her. Luka had intervened immediately, and had pulled those boy's ears so long that he now resembled a donkey. Now the whole school knew where Miku came from, but nobody dared to talk about it anymore. Though, some respected Miku for that. They were astonished that she had so much experience in that domain. But whenever they tried to ask how she ended up on the streets, Luka pulled her away from the scene.
Luka was such a great friend to her, and that hurt. It hurt so badly.
Miku shook those thoughts out of her head, the flashbacks menacing to return.
She wanted to sleep, yet she feared to.
Looking at the clock again from over her shoulder, she saw that she had spent a good half an hour mumbling over her thoughts. Desperately trying to find sleep for school, she buried her head in the pillow.
Miku stretched when Luka called for her to wake up.
Two hours. She had had two crummy hours of sleep.
That sucked.
Slouching down the stairs, she collapsed at the table.
"Well, guess who hasn't slept last night" teased Luka. Miku replied with a groan. "So, what kept you up?"
"Memories"
"The song? How could that keep you up?"
"No, not Memories! My memories, my nightmares!" she grumbled, feeling the icy cold fear gripping her again.
"Oh" Luka handed Miku her usual breakfast, a small bowl of cereal with milk. Nothing complicated, nothing big. Miku was never hungry in mornings, well not anymore.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about them?" Miku immediately shook her head. Maybe, just maybe with anybody else, but not Luka. Definitely not Luka.
"Sure? Maybe it would make you feel better, to finally free-"
"Please, please no. I really don't" answered the smaller girl before starting on her breakfast. Luka sighed, and went to prepare for school.
Miku, Luka and everybody else sat at the lunch table.
They had all had a busy morning. Luka and her class, including Meiko, Kaito and Gakupo, needed to present their reports on their chosen subjects, while the three younger friends had the pleasant surprise of an unexpected English test.
"I failed so miserably! I wasn't able to study!" yelled Miku, tears raining out of her eyes like in those ridiculous cartoons. Len and Rin both knew they did a reasonable job, so they didn't worry. But Miku was practically offering herself a funeral.
"Don't worry, Miku! It's only your second test, you can easily catch up!" reassured Luka.
"But what will the teacher think when he sees that I have an F after an A? He'll think I'd cheated the first one!"
"Nonsense"
"And what will the rest of the school say? They'll go back to treating me like a failure!"
Luka scoffed. Now she was beginning to get theatrically and exaggeratingly dramatic.
"And what about my classmates! They won't talk to me anymore! And my parent-" she froze on the spot, eyes open wide. She quickly shook her head.
"Sorry, again" Luka smiled, but felt worried.
"It's ok. Just know that we won't let you down for a grade, ok?" Miku nodded.
"Uh, Miku?" asked Len, stepping forward. Miku looked at him, smiling slightly.
"Can I talk with you in private?" Miku was a little surprised, and couldn't stop herself from looking over Len's head.
Everybody seemed…expectant. They had some look in their eyes, as if they knew what Len was going to say to her. Even Luka. Though…
"Ok" Len lead her out of the cafeteria, a little bit to the side so that people wouldn't interrupt him.
"Well, we've known each other for a week, already, and I was wondering…" he seemed a little stressed, and Miku felt something start in her gut. Was he…
Miku felt her world crash down. She knew it. She knew those symptoms. She knew how he felt.
His heart must be thrumming in his chest, beating 100 miles per hour. He was impatient, anxious, scared.
She knew that fear, except ten times worse.
She knew, because she already asked somebody the same question. Except that person was…
"Will you go out with me?" he asked all of a sudden.
"I'm sorry" she croaked, feeling tears start to swell in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, but I don't like you that way. But I want to be friends, for sure" she had a difficult time answering as the words were pushed out of her throat, as the memories spilled back in her head.
How it had hurt.
Slaps, screams, cuts, bruises, running, hiding, fear, shame, all these things rushed back into her head. it hurt so badly.
She saw everything back from A to Z.
Nothing hurt more.
Miku couldn't take it, and saw her vision go black.
Miku groaned, but didn't open her eyes. This bed felt so warm, she wanted to stay here like she was married to it.
But she wanted to open her eyes. She knew that if she stayed her, those nightmares, those horrible realities would return. Rather divorce with the bed, then.
Miku opened her eyes slowly, wincing at the bright light. It must be around two in the afternoon. She knew that from the position of the sun. One knew these things from being in the streets for so long.
Miku sat up slowly, looking around. She was at the nurse's.
With another wince, Miku remembered what had happened about two hours ago.
"Hello?" she croaked. Great, her throat hurt, as if she had been screaming, a lot and loudly.
"Ah, hello, honey" a woman, the nurse, for sure, walked past the drawn curtain. Wait, why was it drawn? "How are you?"
"Not too bad. Nothing hurts…" the woman looked at her, deep in her eyes.
"Sure? Nothing on your shoulder, or arm or anything?" Miku was puzzled.
"What's with those weird questions?" the woman shook her head.
"You caused quite a scene, during lunch" Miku felt her gut tighten.
"What do you mean?" the nurse sighed.
"Your friend…Luka, right? She wanted to tell you. For some reason it felt important to her" Miku nodded, and was handed a glass of water, which she took quickly. Darn, her throat really hurt badly.
"What time is it?"
"Three o'clock" she was close. Miku took another gulp of water, fear brewing in her stomach.
What kind of scene had she caused?
"School finishes in half an hour, so your friends will be here soon" Miku nodded.
"Honey, is something or somebody tormenting you?" Miku felt her breath catch.
"Not in particular"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, the usual"
"What's the usual?"
"The usual" Miku had decided to use wordplay to get out of this, even if it seemed pathetic. It was better than trying to evade it completely, or else people would be even more curious.
"Honey, talking about your problems is better than sealing them up. Problems are like lions. Cage them for too long, and you risk having them escape, and doing damage. It's always better to talk" Miku nodded, fear growing. What had she said or done? Too much?
But she didn't know for sure yet, so she tried to keep a positive view on this.
Half an hour later, Luka stormed in the room. Meiko and Kaito followed afterwards, panting.
"Miku, what has happened?" demanded Luka, putting herself to Miku's eye level. Miku backed away, feeling nervous.
"What do you mean?"
"At lunch. Len asked you out, right?"
"Yeah…"
"Then what?"
"I passed out"
"Then what?"
"I don't know! I was unconscious!" and she was having a full trip through nightmare lane during her sleep.
"No, you didn't. Well, maybe, but then you started having a nightmare. You were screaming horrible things as we were dragging you back here. We had to give you some medicine to make you sleep peacefully" Miku tensed.
"What kind of things?" she expected to worse now. Was the 'eventually' going to happen now?
"At first, you were just whimpering. Len called us, and when Gakupo tried to pick you up, you yelled in your sleep, and told him not to touch you. You gave a heart attack to the poor guy" explained Kaito.
"And after that, you kept screaming at people we didn't see to leave you alone, that it wasn't you fault, that you wished it were different" finished Meiko. Luka glared at the girl in the bed.
"What by all deities have you been hiding from me?"
"Us, Luka. Us" inserted Kaito.
Miku could only feel immense relief. She hadn't revealed her secret. Nobody was kicking her out yet.
"I don't want to talk about it" Luka groaned.
"We understand that! But now, we have to know! Miku, did you commit a crime?" Miku felt repulsed by that question.
"No!" she yelled, her dignity hurt.
"Did you kill someone?" Miku couldn't believe that one.
"Are you kidding me?"
"Girls, please don't yell so much! Your friend Gakupo needs his rest as well!" Miku froze. So they weren't joking when they said he had a heart attack?
"He broke in a fit of spasms on the floor" said Luka, as if she could read her mind. "Now tell me, Miku, what was all that?" Miku frowned.
She really didn't want to talk about it. It was her darkest secret.
"Not telling" Luka got up, turned on herself, and returned to her initial position under Miku's watchful eyes. Luka seemed thoughtful.
"Miku, understand that I care greatly for you. There's a reason I picked you up from the street"
"Oh, so I'm the only one?" asked Miku, sarcasm present in her voice. she felt deeply insulted by the previous questions.
"Miku, I'm dead serious! If anything bothers you, I want you to trust me enough for you to tell me! Please!"
Miku felt bad, all of a sudden. Luka wanted her to trust her?
She didn't know what to do. She didn't want Luka to feel bad, but at the same time, she wanted to protect herself.
With a slight hesitation, she gave her answer.
"Not here. I'll tell you, but not here" Luka seemed satisfied enough with that, and got up.
"Can she go home?" she asked the nurse. The woman nodded. Miku got out of bed, apologized to Gakupo who was half-asleep, his arm twitching every now and then, and left with her friends.
"Seriously, the whole school had collected to see you there" said Kaito. "The crowd you made, wow. And you should have seen the look in their eyes. It was a real WTF situation" he added with a grin. Miku grumbled.
"You're really making me feel better, thanks" she said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"You're welcome!" he answered lightly, earning a smack from Meiko. Luka stayed silent the whole walk.
When the two girls entered the household, the atmosphere grew eerily silent, and noticeably heavy.
"I'm going to bed" mumbled Miku, putting her bag in the hall. Luka didn't say a word, and let the girl leave.
Miku didn't care it was only four in the afternoon. She wasn't hungry, she had no homework, not like she cared anyway, and she was tired.
She fell on her bed, and fell asleep.
Lily walked up to Miku, who was fidgeting slightly.
"Hey, Miku. What did you want to talk about?" asked the blonde. She was a year older than the smaller girl, and yet they were best friends. They first met in preschool, and have been inseparable ever since.
Miku bit her lip.
"Actually, Lily…we've been friends for a while" Lily laughed.
"That's an understatement. Years, to be exact. Now tell me, you know I won't get mad at you, no matter what you say" Miku nodded, and gulped.
"Actually, Lily, these past weeks, I found out that…I needed to tell someone…" she couldn't finish her sentence.
"It's ok Miku, go ahead"
"I like girls, Lily" she blurted out.
The blonde froze completely, but Miku didn't know how she had taken the news. Her eyes were riveted on the floor in between them, not daring to look up.
"You're gay?" Miku nodded slightly, wincing at the name. Did there have to be a label for everything?
"Sorry, this is just so much…" whispered Lily. Before Miku could say a word, the taller girl ran off.
Days passed. Lily didn't talk to her anymore, and Miku was earning stares from certain people. She was sure she heard the words 'disgusting', 'unnatural', and 'mistake of nature' whispered in her direction, but Miku tried to ignore them. Lily seriously didn't tell everybody, they were best friends, she would never do that.
A big boy with white hair stepped in front of her, stopping her. His friends gathered around her, and Miku started feeling anxious. She didn't know these people, but she was sure they were at least two years older than her.
"So, what do people like you do the whole time?" spoke the boy, his eyes filled with disgust and hatred. A crowd started to gather. Miku felt her palms get sweaty from anxiety.
"What do you mean?"
"What do you do when you're hanging out with your ordinary girly friends? Look at them?" he asked, taking a step forward. Miku took one backward.
"Or maybe you dream of them, in your own disgusting way" he said, stepping forward again. Miku felt a boy behind her grab her bag, and rip it out of her grip.
"Hey!"
Before she could do anything, her school books and her homework were in shreds. Miku sat on the ground, tears in her eyes, as the group walked away, the crowd following, throwing insults at her.
The teacher gave her a bad grade, for 'particular reasons', and yet she had less errors then some kids with B's. Nobody talked to her, everybody looked at her. Every now and then, the group of boys would come back and destroy her homework. One day, they threw the books at her, and the crowd was cheering them on. Miku saw Lily in the distance, tears in her eyes. She did nothing, nothing for her childhood friend. Miku felt her own eyes fill with tears.
Miku came home, and saw her father put down the phone, and walk towards the living room. Her mother was already there, knitting a pair of socks. She wasn't old; she just loved to knit during her free time. Miku saw her father sit next to her, and whisper something in her ear.
Mike went up to her room, going to do her homework. What was the use, though? Those boys ripped it up, and whatever she managed to save was neglected by the teachers.
Miku heard her father's footsteps come up the stairs as she opened her bag. She ignored it, he probably forgot something.
The knocks on her door caught her by surprise, though.
"Yes?" the man entered the door, his expression troubled and his eyes shut. He carefully took a seat on one of the chairs, and Miku waited for him to explain his presence.
"Your teacher called me" he stated. Miku felt her gut clench. "He said that you were getting bad grades and that you were neglecting your homework these past days" he said quietly. Miku sat up.
"But Dad! That's not my fault! He's giving me bad grades! I do my homework, but he ignores it!" he stood up as well, but with a violent movement.
"Why is he giving you bad grades?" Miku leaned back. She didn't like the look in his eyes.
"I-I don't know"
"Why is he neglecting you homework?" he took a step forward. Miku sat in her chair.
"I don't know!"
The man sat back down in his chair, still looking at her.
"He also told me that you liked girls" he said. Miku tensed immediately, stiff as a board. "Is that true?"
She felt fear start to nibble on her mind.
"Is it true?" he demanded again. She tried to regain her composure.
"So what if I do?" the man stood up again, again in a violent manner.
"So you gay?" he growled. She closed her eyes, and nodded slightly. "Insolent child! After all we do for you, and you thank us with this? What are people going to think of us, having a lesbian as a daughter?"
"But Dad, it's not my fault!"
"Silence!" he slapped her on the cheek, hard. "You are going to change, you hear? Get out of you sickness! Be normal, or we're throwing you out!" he yelled, slamming the door behind him.
Miku fell on the ground, breaking into a fit of sobs.
It wasn't her fault. She didn't wake up one morning, thinking 'hey, why won't I make my own life miserably and become gay?' She would do anything to not be like this.
And yet, she couldn't change. She knew she wouldn't, that she could never change. It was stuck to her, as if it was her nature.
It was.
At dinner, she said that, and her father smacked the plate of food over her head, and her mother started yelling at her. They said the same things over and over again. How that worked so hard to raise a good child, and how she disappoints them in such a terrible way. How such an adorable girl with such a bright future could spoil her own future. How she ruined the family name, how she stained the family tree.
She couldn't take it. She refused, she yelled out her logic, how it wasn't her fault.
She was rewarded with another slap, a grab, a shove, and the slam of a door closing behind her.
"Don't you dare call yourself Hatsune Miku ever again! Because you're not of this family anymore!" yelled her father from the other side of the door.
Miku was stuck outside, in the cold, with nothing but a shirt and jeans.
Nothing else.
Miku passed months like that. Slowly getting hungrier, lonelier. Christmas was difficult to bear, seeing all those happy faces. She was offered more coins then, but nobody from her family ever searched for her. She wasn't reported missing on the news.
She avoided roads taken by people from her school. Slowly but surely, she made her way to the other side of the huge city.
Then, she came. Luka came by, and offered her a drink, a home, a school, and clothes.
And Miku did what she feared the most.
She fell in love. She fell painfully in love with the only person who took her in and the only person who could kick her back out.
She was going to end up miserable, alone on the streets, again and again.
Miku felt herself being shaken awake. She was covered in cold sweat, and was still dressed.
"Miku, are you all right?" Miku tensed when she recognized her voice. Her voice. "Why are you so tense?"
"Please!" Miku yelled, pushing the taller girl away from her. Miku didn't want to feel like this. Luka…
Over the days, she craved her touch more and more. Every gaze Luka threw in her direction only fueled the passion more. Every kind movement, every humorous joke, made Miku want to touch her, feel her more.
"Please, please don't touch me" she whimpered, memories coming back quickly and sharply. She didn't want that this wonderful person would hate her as well. If Lily threw her away, why wouldn't Luka?
"Miku, what's the matter?" Miku shook her head.
"Everything!"
"Why don't you talk about it?" asked the taller girl, sitting next to Miku. The latter scooted further away, trying to avoid any physical contact. Luka sighed.
"You know you can tell me, you know I won't get mad at you, no matter what you say" Miku winced, and buried her head between her knees, in a similar position as the one she held when they first met.
"Lies!"
"What?"
"You're lying! She said the same thing!" she yelled, tears threatening to pour out of her eyes. "We were best friends for years, and she threw me away like that! Just because…" she didn't, couldn't finish her sentence.
"Miku, what are talking abou-"
"I told her, and she told the whole school! Teachers gave me bad grades, boys threw things at me, and I got kicked out!" Luka tried to wrap an arm around the girl, but Miku pulled away.
"Please, don't touch me, it only makes things worse" Luka sighed.
"Miku, I wish I could understand"
"You can't! If I told you, then you'll kick me out, too! Especially because…" she trailed off again.
"Miku, I promise I won't harm you in any way possible if you tell me" Miku froze.
"Are you sure?" she whimpered, barely audible. She was scared, yet willing to give up this secret. "Think of all the things I could tell you, would accept them all?" Luka didn't hesitate, she nodded right away.
Miku looked up at her.
"You can't know how scared I am, Luka" the elder girl smiled, and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl.
"You don't have to be" Miku tried not to melt into the hug, and tried not to think about anything. "Go on, tell me anything, everything" Miku took in a deep breath.
She told her story. Almost everything that happened. She told everything from B to Z.
Luka listen calmly, sometimes seeming a bit shocked, but never interrupted. She always held the smaller girl in the hug, feeling Miku's warm, shivering breaths against her neck.
When Miku finished, Luka inhaled slowly.
"So, you passed Christmas on the streets?" Miku nodded, not caring about the unimportance of the question.
"Then I'll buy you something" Miku nodded again, not really caring. She still hasn't revealed what she was, so she still shivered with fear. Luka inhaled again.
"Now tell me, Miku. Why did all that happen? What did you tell Lily?" Miku shook her head. "It's ok, tell me" Miku tightened her fists, her breath becoming ragged.
"I can't"
"Sure you can"
"No, I can't"
"Did you promise anybody other than yourself to keep it as a secret?"
"No"
"Then tell me" Miku shook her head.
Why was Luka so persistent? Why did she want to know so badly?
She breathed again, this was taking too long. She needed to finish her story, or else she was sure she'd die from old age.
"I like girls" she whispered. Luka patted her back.
"There, now was that so hard?" Miku felt a weight of five hundred thousand pounds be lifted from her shoulders. She had said it, and Luka didn't mind; unless she didn't hear correctly.
But she couldn't care for the moment. Her secret was out, the person she told didn't care, and everything seemed to be much better.
"Now, why was that so hard to tell me? Did that have anything to do with your not willing to touch me? Is that the reason you were avoiding my eyes lately?" Miku gulped. She noticed? "Let me tell you something" whispered the taller girl, still rubbing Miku's back.
Miku listened, and melted a little in Luka's arms. She didn't seem to mind, so why not?
"The day I took you wasn't the first time I saw you. I actually saw you for the first time on Christmas. Strange, huh? You looked so cold in that snow, so sad seeing those happy faces. I felt bad, so I dropped fifty yen in your old little plastic cup"
Miku felt her breath catch. So it was Luka who gave her that amount of money. She had brought herself a tea with that, she remembered.
The only warm beverage she drank during her entire 'homeless' part of life.
Luka was good at giving her tea, it seemed.
"I seemed to cross you all the time. In marketplaces, the train station, next to the theatres, everywhere. Whenever I had a few yen to spare, I gave you it"
Miku didn't realize. She never looked at the people who walked by, only their shoes.
So…
"And every time, one thought always stuck on my mind. You seemed so unhappy, every time you were filthier, and yet, I couldn't stop saying to myself that you were irresistibly cute and adorable" Miku blushed, and tensed a little. "I wanted to get to know you, so that day, when we first spoke, I decided to take you in"
Luka backed up a little, staring Miku straight in the eyes with a smile.
"I don't think I regret it"
Miku had no idea what to do, she was at loss for words. Was that an indirect confession?
All train of thought stopped when Miku felt Luka kiss her.
Warm, gentle, soft and caring were some of the words that floated through Miku's head. She was frozen in complete bliss, utter happiness and relief.
This person wasn't disgusted by her nature, on the contrary.
She liked, maybe even loved her back.
Miku quickly responded, tugging on Luka's sleeve. She begged for more contact, more warmth. Luka smiled in the kiss, and Miku blushed.
"I always found you cute when you blushed" said Luka, interrupting the kiss.
Miku now felt a little frustrated. Couldn't that moment have lasted longer? Once again, it seemed as if Luka read her mind.
"Don't get impatient, now"
"For once, I think your humor is sick" grumbled Miku. Despite this exchange, the mood wasn't ruined. Luka chuckled.
"Well, don't you think you should eat something? It's dinner time after all" Miku smiled slyly.
"I know what I'm going to eat…" and with that, she tackled Luka to the bed.
Yay, abrupt ending. But there's a chapter 2, or rather epilogue...if you like Lily, then go read it~!
Message/Letter for the King is a dutch book written by Tonke Dragt. Great book.
Memories is sung by Within Temptation.
I don't own either of those. :3