Of Heroes and Kitty Kings

"Well, well, well, if it isn't a willful stray cat. Only your eyes shine through the darkness. You have the sweetest words, but I am not a foolish girl like you think I am. A cat's life comes just once, you say? That is the reason I'm being kept here. I wonder if you realize how important this branded collar I have on me is?

"I am a cat of refinement, meow, meow, meow, with delicious food and a soft bed. I might be weak when it comes to water, but I take a shower every day, too. Comparing my status to yours, meow, meow, meow, who do you have to protect you? Tomorrow, you might be hit by a car and no one would ever know."

―"Ah, It's a Wonderful Cat Life" by Kagamine Len and GUMI [English Translation]

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

I sit in Daddy's lap and lick his face before I try nuzzling his cheek. He still won't smile.

"Daddy, it's okay. Why are you sad? Are they being mean?" I purr.

Suddenly, Daddy stands and walks to the kitchen while he's still talking to the two humans on the couch, Spitfire and Blondie. Blondie is really nice according to Daddy.

I follow Daddy into the kitchen and he smiles down at me. It's the real smile, too, the one he never shows to anyone other than me and his mate, Sunshine. And I rub against his legs. "Are you feeling better? I can lick you some more."

"Hungry?" he asks.

"Ooh, yes!" I rise up on my hind legs and stretch out my front paws. "Are you going to cook something for me?" Then I wobble slightly before I go down on all fours again and continue to rub along his legs. "I miss your cooking, Daddy."

Then I hear the can opening. I sigh, but I don't complain. "But tuna's good, too."

It's really hot outside, but after Daddy sets my plate on the deck, I trot down the steps to the flower garden around the back of the house. It's nice and well-kept with pretty flowers, and I try to find a bare spot to help fertilize it. That's what I always do at home, but I think Daddy sometimes gets in my fertilizer and then he says bad words.

As I move back towards the stairs, I see a bit of white out of the corner of my eye. A ball of white fluff with brown on its neck and tail is crouched over my food dish.

"Excuse me?" I ask, walking up the stairs. "This is my food, but if you're really hungry, I can ask Daddy to get you some, too."

The cat turns to look at me with blue eyes. He smells like a male, but not completely. So fixed then. "Do you have a human?"

After a moment, he looks down at the tuna and eats another piece. "I did. She went away though, and her big humans kicked me out."

"Oh, I'm sorry." I take a step forward and bury my muzzle in the brown fur around his neck.

"What are you doing?" He leans away.

I press closer, purrs bubbling up from my throat. "Cuddling with you. Daddy always feels better when I do it." Then I trot around the dish and lie down, tucking my paws under my chest and curling my tail around myself. "He's over there. The big one with silver fur on top."

Daddy speaks again, but he sounds confused. I glance back at him and then stretch out. "Daddy! I made a new friend; come meet him!" Then I look back at the mentioned new friend. "He's a good human."

When Daddy comes closer, I stand up. "Look, see?" I trot over and rub against Daddy. "He's good at petting, too! And he makes homemade food for me a lot."

"Let me finish eating," the cat says.

So I occupy myself with circling around Daddy until the white cat finishes. Then Daddy starts speaking and petting me. He offers food, too.

"He's really nice!" I say.

The cat slowly approaches and sniffs at Daddy's hand. I bump my head against Daddy's elbow. "Like this!" Daddy ruffles my fur for a moment. When the other cat moves forward some more, Daddy reaches to pet him before he shies away.

"Come on!" I encourage through purrs.

The cat finally leans into the touch, and a smile breaks across Daddy's face. He says a string of words that I always hear when he introduces me to people. "Oh, your name is Hero now!"

"Hero?" the cat replies as he sits and lets Daddy pet his head and scratch behind his ear.

"Yeah."

"Then what's your name?"

"Lapushka," I reply.

We let Daddy love on us for a little while longer. Then I walk around Hero and bat at his tail.

"What are you doing?" Hero asks.

"Playing."

"What are you, a kitten?"

"Yeah." I trot down to the yard and stand on my back legs. "Can't catch me!"

"Pretty sure I can," Hero replies as he creeps down the stairs and crouches, his flank wiggling. When he pounces, I cry out and bound away, running just enough to stay out of reach. That is, until he tackles me and chews on my neck.

I swat at his head to push him away. "I won't surrender!"

"Hush." He puts a paw on my head.

Oo_oO_Oo_oO

That night, Daddy sleeps outside with Hero and me.

"Why do you keep licking me?" Hero asks while I drag my tongue along his cheek and knead his stomach. Daddy is asleep beside us, like a warm and breathing wall.

"I don't know. Do you not like it?" I ask, pausing. He never complained about it before, even going as far as lying on his back with his paws in the air at one point. He claimed it was comfortable.

"No…but humans usually only do it to their mates," Hero replies.

"Oh." I glance over my shoulder at Daddy. "Daddy likes it when I groom him. I mean, don't friends groom each other?"

Hero looks down at his paws. "I don't know. I've never…spent time with another cat before."

"Me neither. We can figure it out together, right?" I nudge his cheek with my muzzle, purring.

"Yeah." He licks my nose before he lays his chin on my flank. "Goodnight."

"Night." I can't stop the purrs that rumble in my throat as I settle with my own head on Daddy's arm. It's nice to have another purring critter to sleep with; it's really soothing.

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

The next day, Sunshine comes back, and Hero and I get to go inside later on that night.

"Daddy, I want a shower!" I cry and race between the bedroom and the bathroom. "Please? I'm all stiff and dirty!"

"A shower?" Hero asks as he watches me with his head tilted to the side.

"With soap and water, and DADDY!" I yowl.

Sunshine jumps from where he's standing beside the dresser, and Daddy laughs. "Shower, Lapushka."

"Yes!" I dart into the bathroom and hop up onto the vanity for Daddy to brush me.

Hero hops up on the toilet lid. "You like water?"

"I didn't at first, but Daddy made me take showers every night. After about a moon or so of it, I got used to it. It's really nice; you should take one, too."

"No," Hero says.

"But―"

"No."

"Hero―"

"I hate water and I will shred both the humans if they even attempt to wet my fur." Hero bristles.

"Alright, fine. Your loss." When Daddy finally starts to brush me, I say, "Even if you don't want a shower, you should at least let him brush you. It keeps you cooler and it feels amazing."

Hero doesn't reply, but he watches the brush go through my fur and kneads his paws. Sunshine laughs and points to Hero before he says something to Daddy. After Daddy finishes brushing me, he gives the brush to Sunshine, who starts on Hero. The white feline closes his eyes and purrs, "I call this human."

"You can have him," I say as I hop down from the vanity and then jump into the shower. There's no tub bottom on this one or a ledge for me to stand on, so Daddy has to sit on the floor with me, but I don't mind too much.

When the water comes on, it's cold and I sit away from it, waiting.

"Lapushka, test," Daddy says.

I put a paw in the water. It's still a little too cold, and Daddy heats it the tiniest bit. I stick my head under the stream. "That's good."

While I stand in the water so that it soaks my fur, Hero stares at me through the glass.

"What?" I ask as Daddy starts to lather my fur in bubbles that smell like pine trees.

"You look kind of pitiful," Hero replies, hopping down from the toilet and Sunshine's brushing. He puts his paws against the glass. "You like that? You look like something that crawled out of the water under the streets." Then he pauses. "You smell better than that, but it's really…human."

I purr as Daddy scrubs between my shoulder blades and around my neck. He always spends lots of time there. "You don't like it?"

"No, it's not that. It's just weird." Hero takes a step back as the glass slides back. Sunshine steps around Daddy, and Sunshine's cheeks turn red.

"What's wrong with his face?" Hero asks once the glass separates him from the water again.

"Oh, that happens sometimes when he's with Daddy." Now the waiting process of rinsing without a detachable nozzle.

"Why?"

"It's a human thing. They get really weird about seeing each other's sexes."

Hero tilts his head. "That doesn't make sense. Is that why they wear clothes?"

I nod. "I think so."

"Humans are so weird."

"But they feed me and love on me, so I let them do whatever else," I say.

When Daddy lets me out of the shower to lie down on the towel he laid out, Hero looks at me. "You're more fur than cat."

"I can't help how fluffy I am," I say as I stretch out. "But I'm clean and full and―what are you doing?"

Hero sets to work licking at my paw. "Drying you off. Hold still."

"You're going to be doing that for a while. Besides, Daddy has this air blower to do it."

Hero puts a paw on my head. "Shut up and lay still."

In Hero's defense, he manages to finish with my head and one leg before Daddy steps out of the shower. The air blower scares Hero nearly to death, but I eventually convince him that it won't eat him. I later regret this because he keeps hogging the hot air.

In bed, I say, "You know, you have to give them names. You can't call Daddy my human and Sunshine your human forever."

Hero pauses as he's kneading Sunshine's thigh. I'm lounging between Daddy's legs, always a comfy spot.

"Okay, so I'll call my human 'Papa'." Hero walks forward onto Sunshine's stomach before he leaps onto Daddy. Both humans grunt. "And this one is 'Scar'."

"Why Scar?" I ask.

"Because he has lots of them," Hero says, pawing at one of many round dips on Daddy's stomach.

"But Daddy doesn't like his scars. You shouldn't call him that; it's mean."

"Alright, alright. Um…" Hero trails off as Daddy rubs behind his ear. "I like Silver, too. You know, for his fur."

"Yeah, I like that," I purr.

Oo_oO_Oo_oO

Daddy packs the next day.

I sigh and nuzzle closer to Hero, who just asks, "What's Silver doing?"

"He's packing," I say. "It means that we have to leave today."

"Leave? And go where? I thought you lived here?" Hero asks. All the while, Sunshine holds Daddy from behind and kisses the scar on his neck.

"No, Daddy came to visit Sunshine. We live far away where it snows a lot."

"Oh." Hero licks my head. "Do I have to stay here?"

I whimper, "Yes, you have to stay with Sunshine. He's your human."

After a moment, he presses his muzzle to mine. "I don't want you to go. Stay here with me, Lapushka."

"I can't."

"If you stay, I'll take a shower."

"Hero―"

"Please," he whines, licking my nose. My ears lay back as I return the gesture before I nuzzle into his neck.

"I'm sorry," I purr, hoping that the little rumbles will cheer him up.

Hero purrs back, but it doesn't help.

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

A couple of moons pass before Daddy packs again.

"Where are we going, Daddy?" I ask.

He doesn't reply.

I hop on the bed and cry, "Daddy! Where are we going? Will Hero be there?" He speaks in his human language, all words that I don't understand, but he's smiling. That little smile when he's thinking about his mate.

"Daddy, what about Hero?" I hop into his suitcase just before he can put another shirt in. "I'm not moving until you tell me if Hero will be there."

Daddy laughs and scratches behind my ears. And I hear "Hero".

"Hero? Hero's going to be there?" I stand up and launch myself into his arms. "You said Hero!"

"Yes, yes, Hero."

"Oh, thank you! I miss him bunches!" I lick his cheek. "Thank you!"

That night, we go to the airport. I absolutely hate the box Daddy puts me in, and the other animals are always freaking out. But I tune it out and lay my chin on my paws. It's been nearly three moons since I last saw Hero.

My chest aches, and I whimper.

Sunshine is at the airport. And I recognize the airport, too; it's the same one that we were at during the summer.

And the house. The house is the same.

As soon as the car door opens, I run to the house door and cry, "Daddy, hurry up! Sunshine, open the door! Hurry!"

They both laugh at my distress like it's a joke or something, but Sunshine opens the door, and I rush inside. "HERO! Where are you?"

"Lapushka?"

I turn to the living room, and there in the armchair, Hero is now standing. I run to the chair and hop up beside him, rubbing my head against his and purring, "You got fat."

"It's fur!" Hero replies. He purrs even more loudly than me somehow and licks my nose just before he nips my ear.

I tackle him in a mix of love and play fighting.

Author Note: So fluff. In more ways than one. And a drop of sadness. But then I had to add more fluff. I couldn't just leave it at them saying goodbye! And I know that the "romance" moved pretty quick, even compared to Alfred and Ivan in Kings, but I mean, they are cats, so I could get away with it. Anyways, if you liked it, please, Please, PLEASE REVIEW!