All at once it was nostalgic for me. All at once it tumbled and fell around my feet and I danced in it. It was ridiculous, this little contest of his. Never again would he find favor with his target demographic and that made me smile. This thing with girls in blue wigs and no-names that wished to be stars instead of wishing on them - it was a disaster in the making.
I don't remember getting so old that none of it was magical. I don't even remember losing my interest, losing my fan girl attachment to the music and it's processes. The party was definitely over. Time to put out my own cheap, overly sweet and tangy perfume and try to make it as some sort of C-list actress. I could be good at it, maybe. I was rail thin after all and with the right lighting and maybe with Ms. Jay Alexander as my personal stylist, I could cavort with Kimora and catch heroin contacts with Amy on her tour bus. It was the next logical step, wasn't it?
I was never innocent but I was naive. I can say that with confidence now. I can say a lot of things I was never able to say back when I got into the game. It's refreshing if not telling. Hey, what can I really say?
I fell for boys and I begged for men between these tacky walls. That makes it a home in my book. Better in the public eye with every story I could sell being splashed on Ok! and Us then as some predictable, pathetic emo kid stuck in my bedroom. Hell, I made a cool million when I came out that I was into hooking up with models after getting them hammered off Four Horsemen, finally settling down with Jenah a few months after the issue ran cold. It was definitely amusing – Jude Harrison: Closet Lesbian. Heartbreaking, isn't it?
Fourth CD drops in a couple of weeks. The Boy is really a good producer. I wasn't sure he had it in him. The Man, well, he's supposed to heading off to Bangalore or Budapest or some other B-city within the next month. Maybe it was Beijing. Or Brunei. Bangkok? Either way.
So now it's time to definitely get out of here. I got what I came for anyway.