Happy actual 4th of July!

I still have no 4th of July fic, and neither idea or interest in writing one. Dang it.

Ah well, have a totally unrelated one-shot instead.

It was an average day, NOT at the Loud house, but at the McBrides residence, where Clyde was working on something-that is, covering some sort of collection under a white sheet-when somebody knocked the door. He stopped what he was doing momentarily and opened the door, to see Haiku-Lucy's fellow poet friend-standing outside.

"Hi Clyde," Haiku greeted in her usual, deadpan tone. "I came here as you requested, you said you had something to show me?"

"Yup! I've prepared a collection of written works that I thought would help you expand on your interests!" Clyde answered as he took "They're kinda dark, kinda depressing, maybe even kinda poetic if you look at them long enough."

"That's very interesting, Clyde. But I just have to ask, what poems did you pick?"

"Oh, I didn't pick poems!"

Clyde took off the white sheet, revealing a bunch of Ace Savvy comics.

"I picked Ace Savvy issues!"

The poet, however, didn't seem all that interested.

"Clyde, I greatly appreciate your interest in expanding my literary and written interests," Haiku looked through the comic books. "But I assure you, peotry's really the only kind of-"

However, Haiku was left awestruck when she spotted a vampire-like woman on a cover. She had pale skin, long white hair, notable fangs, and bloodshot eyes that were seemingly crying blood.

"Oh, that's issue number six, "Night of Vloody Betty," Clyde remarked, returning the goth back to reality. "It's a particularly violent issue, so my dads don't really let me read it whenever I want. I usually have to wait until Halloween, since that's the time when it came out."

"... Who is Vloody Betty?"

"Well, according to her backstory, she was a normal woman until she fell in love with a vampire. When her vampire lover was murdered, however, she decided to drink some of his blood, but the transmutation was somehow corrupted by the sheer despair she felt as she realized her lover was truly gone forever. And so, she became Vloody Betty, who's only goal in her eternal life is to punish all of humanity for not allowing her to love a vampire! Or something like that."

Haiku's eyes shined as she thought: "Awesome."

"Do you wanna keep it?" the boy asked. "I got a copy of the issue, so you don't need to worry about giving it back."

"Thanks, Clyde!" Haiku chirped, only to quickly return to her deadpan tone. "I mean, uh, thanks."

And so, Haiku hid the book... Somewhere, and bid farewell to Clyde before leaving off to read the issue of Vloody Betty. She immediately went to the library-the perfect place to read anything-and went to a table at the corner, where she wouldn't be spotted by anybody, and so she started to read.

For the most part, the issue felt like an average Ace Savvy issue, but with a surprising lack of Ace Savvy himself: So far, only One-Eyed Jack was featured, with only minor mentions to Ace. Not only that, but when Vloody Betty appeared herself, the issue became incredibly violent: Blood flew around the place, Betty and Jack kicked and punched the stuffing out of each other, and so on and so forth.

And Haiku loved every second of it.

"This is such an amazing issue!" Haiku whispered, hoping not to upset the librarian woman. "I need to find out what happens next. But if I see such violent imagery in this place, the issue's gonna be totally confiscated."

The poet snapped her fingers as she got an idea. "I have to go back home!"

And so, the deadpan writer ran back as fast as she could to her house... Only to come across a nasty surprise when she did reach the building:

"Hi, Heloise."

The girl flinched and turned around to see none other than her older sister, Maggie, standing right in front of her. Of course, she had to hide the comic behind her back, but most importantly, she had to try and think of what to do next! After all, who knows what Maggie would do if she found out Haiku enjoyed a comic book!

"Hi, Maggie!" Haiku nervously greeted as she hid the comic and slowly went to the staircase. "How have you been today? Any new edgy or potentially catchy phrases you thought up for my works?"

Naturally, Haiku's strange behavior made Maggie suspicious. "What are you hiding, Haiku?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

Haiku opened her mouth to answer, then immediately ran to her bedroom. She quickly slammed her door shut, then hid under her bed as she thought:

"Well, that could've been a whole lot better, but hey, at least I'm now on my ultimate hiding spot; Right underneath my bed! Maggie will surely never find me here!"

Then Maggie entered the room and lifted the mattress, revealing Haiku's hiding spot.

"My bed betrayed me!" Haiku yelled in fear.

Maggie, surprisingly enough, helped Haiku get out-even if she didn't want to-while chuckling at her sister's statement. "It's these kind of sentences I wish I could see more often in fiction," she said as Haiku got up and continued to hide her comic book. "Okay, now that you're out of there, how about you show me what you're hiding? And please, for the sake of getting somewhere, don't try to lie or divert my attention."

Haiku took a deep breath, then revealed the comic book as she looked away. "A comic book?" Maggie snatched the book and read it as Haiku blushed. "And one from the Ace Savvy franchise, of all things."

"I-I know it doesn't seem like something I would read, or something I should be reading, for that matter," Haiku said, twiddling her fingers as Maggie reached the violent parts of the comic, which made her eyes grow wide, but not much else. "Just please, don't confiscate it! I really want to see how it ends!"

"This thing's really violent! Were you planning on reading it alone?"

Haiku looked away and nodded. "Well, as your older sister, I can't afford to let you traumatize yourself," Maggie sat on her sister's bed and gestured her to come to her. "Come on, sis, let's read it together."

"So, you're not bothered by the fact I'm even reading this stuff?"

"Do I look like someone who would be bothered by it? Really, the thing that worries me the most is the fact that you were planning on reading this on your own, I mean, what if you saw something shocking or worse? That would really give me a heart attack."

Haiku looked at the ground in shame. "Sorry, sis."

"It's okay, after all, this doesn't seem half as bad as some of the things I've seen online," Maggie rolled her eyes. "All I'm asking is that you tell me about this so we can read it together, and if something too awful for your young eyes catches my attention, I'll confiscate it immediately."

"But-"

"And I'll read the rest of it, if possible, and let you know about the ending."

Upon hearing those last words, Haiku smiled and sat next to her sister, before looking for the page in which she left it. "I specially like Vloody Betty's design and her costume," Haiku remarked as she reached the page.

"Me too, It's a pretty good mix between vampiric demoness and despairing woman," Maggie added. "It looks pretty easy to make, too."

Immediately, Haiku gave her sister a hopeful look and a wide smile, and once she saw this, Maggie just shook her head and giggled before saying:

"Yes, I'll make you a Vloody Betty costume for Halloween. Now let's read this thing already."

Haiku hugged her older sister, and Maggie soon returned the hug, before reading the rest of the comic together.