Disclaimer:I don't own anything!
Author's Note: Found this song quite by accident while changing radio stations and I fell in love with it. Sadly enough, I checked out the band and found that this is really the only song I like from them.
-/-/-/-
Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together.
~Author Unknown
-/
Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
"They say there's another world out there."
Zelos frowned at her. She was a very different woman than the girl who he'd met so many years ago. "The Renegades?"
Sheena nodded, absently toying with a loose lock of hair. "Mm. Do you…suppose they're telling the truth?"
"Could be. Why is that important?" It sounded blunt and almost insensitive, but Sheena knew him too well to be insulted.
"They say there's a Chosen over there too. That the regeneration ritual isn't what we think and that, if the other Chosen goes through with it, than Tethe'alla will come to ruin."
Zelos waited patiently for her to continue.
"…They want me to assassinate them. The other Chosen."
Zelos' heart plummeted, not only at what she was being asked to do (It was absurd. Sheena, kind-hearted Sheena with the gentle smile and spitfire personality, kill someone? In cold blood? Never.) but at the look on her face. "You shouldn't have to."
"I know."
"…Why you? Why not anyone else from Mizuho?"
Sheena smiled and it was bleak and not her usual smile at all. "Think about it."
He did. He had, ever since she'd first mentioned it. And he knew why. Mizuho didn't know anything about this other world, didn't know about the people or the geography. Were the people there giants or barbarians? They wouldn't send their best people—their best villagers—over there without any kind of context. And Sheena would be the perfect choice for them, because she had all the skills to do the job and, if she never came back, the village wouldn't miss her.
"It's not right."
"What choice do I have? It's Mizuho." And Sheena loved Mizuho, more than she probably should, considering their views on her.
Zelos wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He'd gotten too tall in his last growth spurt, she'd usually say and he would laugh and tell her that, if it bothered her that much, than she should just grow taller.
"…There's a shooting star."
Zelos followed her eyes, tracing the star's path across the sky. "…There's an old story that if you make a wish on them, it'll come true." Seles had taught him that story.
Sheena chuckled a little, like she usually did when she heard of the strange traditions that other Tethe'allans had. "That so?"
"Mmhm. Besides, can't hurt."
Sheena glanced up at him. "You're being strangely optimistic."
"You're the one who calls me moody."
"You're picking a helluva time to prove me right."
"Well, I figure you need a victory on your scoreboard since I seem to win most of our arguments."
He felt her laugh before he heard it and he thought that he never wanted to move from this spot at the window.
Laying underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling great
Watch the red orange glow
Watch it float away
"When do you leave?" Zelos asked.
"Tomorrow. Nine in the morning apparently."
So soon? Zelos glanced out at the setting sun, which had already begun to paint the sky in oranges and golds and fierce reds. There was no time left for them, none at all. Spring was ending, and their seemingly endless days of meandering through Meltokio were gone.
Zelos stood up suddenly from the couch that they'd been lounging on. "…Let's get outta here."
Sheena blinked at him. "What?"
Zelos held out a hand. "C'mon. I feel the sudden urge to see the sky."
Sheena stared at him for a few moments before smiling gratefully. "Alright."
They went out to the fields that surrounded Meltokio and lay beneath the darkening sky. They watched as the stars slowly winked into existence above them, not speaking, but between old friends, there was no need to speak.
Zelos glanced over and saw Sheena had fallen to sleep. Not surprising. It had to be nearly midnight. Perhaps later. He levered himself up on one elbow to gently wake her. "Time to wake up, darling."
Sheena woke slowly blinking up at him. She smiled sleepily. "Hey."
At that moment, looking down at her with her hair tangled and sleep still fogging her eyes, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to lean down and kiss her. It was little more than a mere brush of the lips, but it was quietly electrifying.
She didn't jerk away, like he half-expected her to when he realized what he'd just done. Instead, when he pulled away just enough so that they could breathe, she just asked, "What was that for?"
"I don't know." Zelos replied honestly. "One for luck in the other world, I guess."
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
Gonna save your tired soul
You're gonna save our lives
He found himself walking through the city after she was gone, wandering their old paths, seeing their ghosts. Meltokio was a very different place without her, not as lively. And he needed to come up with new defenses in the face of Meltokio politics. He was of marrying age now, people were saying. There was talk of an arranged marriage. He wanted nothing more than to leave.
So he distracted himself by finding places in Meltokio's lower quarters where, with some hair dye and worn clothes, he could simply sit and watch the world walk by him. Where was she, he wondered? What was that other world, Sylvarant, like?
Zelos imagined himself very different scenarios of the other world. The people were giants or midgets, like in the old films that they would watch during scorching summer afternoons. The land was deserts and wasteland or rich jungles teeming with life. Were they all mountains or long, endless stretches of prairie?
Would they accept her there, as people hadn't ever really accepted her here? Would they notice the accent tugging at her consonants or find it strange that a woman wore knives at her boots? Would they find the slight slant to her eyes strange?
He wanted her back fiercely. He wanted her here, beside him because his burden was lighter with her. With Sheena, he forgot that he was the Chosen, that his sister hated him, that the world thought he was something more than he was.
Did they have cities like Meltokio in the other world? Were they too poor for such things? Or were their cities fantastic creations of quartz and diamond, fortresses of ice or earth?
Zelos chuckled to himself. If only Sheena could hear the theories he was coming up with. She'd laugh at him, tell him that he was crazy and that of course people didn't build their homes of quartz. Where would they ever find enough of the stone to build?
Turn on the radio to
Find you in satellite
I'm waiting for the sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
The months passed with no sign of her return. Pronyma had been the only sign that, even remotely, meant that Sheena could still be alive.
But if the other Chosen did make it to Tethe'alla, and Sheena was still in Sylvarant, then he could work with and against their group so that Tethe'alla could still be safe and he would ask the Renegades to either let him go to Sylvarant or for them to bring her back here.
The King asked him once if he had any idea whether the Mizuho ambassador had failed her mission. Zelos had walked away, unable to think of what might happen. He knew she probably would—Sheena wasn't meant for this kind of killing—but he knew that if the other Chosen did go through the regeneration ritual, then their world might fall around their ears.
And, honestly, Zelos found that he couldn't quite care enough about the world. He just wanted to free his sister and see Sheena again.
And all we are You're falling back to me
Is all so far
The star that I can see
I know you're out there somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
He hadn't expected the Sylvaranti to have news of Sheena. And good news, on top of that. She was alright. She was alive and well and Zelos felt a weight lift from his shoulders when they told him.
He should've known that she would make friends with the other Chosen's group, Zelos thought wryly. She was too likeable, too friendly for anything otherwise.
"You're going with them."
Zelos glanced back at the princess, who was watching him with guarded eyes. "Yes, I am. The Pope ordered me to keep tabs on them."
Hilda smiled sadly. "Don't lie to me. You're going because of her. I know you are."
He really had known Hilda too long. He'd known her longer even than Sheena. "Do you have a point to make, Your Highness?"
Hilda's face hardened. She didn't like him using her title in private any more than he liked his own title. He'd known that, but he had a feeling that she was trying to jab at the sore spot that was Sheena Fujibayashi. "I think someone else should be going. You're too involved in the situation."
"Who else would you send? Would you go yourself?" Hilda shuffled her feet a little. Zelos could never decide whether she wanted to leave court life or not. "I'm the most qualified to go."
"We could send guards."
"Guards are too easily bribed." And so was he, Zelos thought, but no one was to know that until the end. Pronyma had only had to dangle his freedom, his sister's freedom and Sheena for him to buckle.
Zelos belted on his sword and shrugged on his pack. "I have to be going, Hilda." He told her quietly. "I'm supposed to meet them at the church."
"Answer me one thing." Zelos waited patiently, not looking at her. "Why her? Just…what does she—"
"Have that you don't?"
"Yes."
"I wish I could explain it to you, hun. I can't even explain it to myself. Just one of those things, y'know?"
He left before he could tell whether she was going to reply or not. He could almost see her in front of him, familiar eyes laughing and the same cheeky grin on her lips. She was back in Tethe'alla. Zelos knew that much.
It might just be enough.
Hope you remember me
When you're homesick and need a change
I miss you're purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back some day
On a bed of nails I wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out
Or fade away
"She didn't say anything? Before she left?"
Lloyd looked at him. "Sheena?"
"Yeah."
"She said something about having to report back to Mizuho."
And she had failed in her mission. Zelos had never been to Mizuho himself, but he had heard enough from Sheena. He didn't know what the price for failure was, but he knew it would be worse because it was her. It was the woman who, for so long, had been the hurt of the village. But Sheena could take care of herself (Had to take care of herself because he wasn't there to help her, couldn't be there because she'd left him) and she should be alright.
He'd been so wrapped in his thoughts that he hadn't heard Lloyd's voice, but when Lloyd cautiously poked his shoulder, Zelos was broke free of the theories in his head and focused on the Sylvaranti. "What'd you say?"
"I asked how well you know Sheena. I mean, you reacted a bit weird when we said her name back in the castle and you're awful worried about her. Just doesn't seem like you is all."
"She's a friend of mine." It wasn't a lie. It simply wasn't the whole truth. But, like with Hilda, Zelos couldn't tell Lloyd—not that he would. He'd just met the kid—exactly what was between him and Sheena. Then again, he wasn't entirely sure where they stood either. Friends, certainly. But they hadn't exactly had a chance to discuss the kiss between them.
She tasted of rain and plums, Zelos remembered. It had been faint, but there. She loved plums; they were her favorite fruit and she always brought fruit into his house. The first few times, he'd been exasperated and confused, but after so long, it just became routine.
He missed routine. He missed sharing orange wedges and bowls of cherries. Missed having competitions on who could catch the most grapes in their mouths in a row. He missed it all.
And all we are You're falling back to me You're falling back to me
Is all so far
The star that I can see
I know you're out there somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
The star that I can see
I know you're out there
When she found them, underneath the Research Academy, he almost didn't recognize her. In looks, she hadn't changed. Same dark hair, same almond eyes bright in the darkness, still the same crooked smile, same scar above her right eyebrow where she'd bashed her head against the cabinet.
It was in the way she carried herself. Her stance was confident, her voice sure. He'd known Sheena for what was nearly half of his life and, while he'd seen this woman, he hadn't seen her, hadn't thought that Sheena would ever fit so comfortably in her own skin.
When they get a chance to talk again—really talk, when it was just them, without the others—it was early the next morning. Sheena had been trained to rise with the sun and she'd gotten him into that habit.
She smiled when she saw him, the familiar one that made her eyes light up and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders in a one-armed hug. It was familiar and she was here, solid and alive and Zelos felt like he could fly.
He asked after her time in Sylvarant and she told him that, really, it was just different from Tethe'alla enough to be completely different.
"That makes no sense, darling." Zelos laughed.
Sheena shrugged. "It's all I've got."
He rolled his eyes—she was often vague with answers like that. Words were never her strong point—and listened to her tell him about how she met Lloyd and the others, about Kratos, about Cruxis.
He acted surprised and angry that Cruxis had supposedly betrayed the worlds, but he'd known. Pronyma had explained it. And the knowledge made him sick to his stomach because here Sheena was, alive and well and what was he to do now? He wanted to take Seles and let her stay with them, all of them because even the half-elves are alright and the others seem like good people.
But he can't because Seles was too fragile for this kind of life. And he still wouldn't be free. Even though he hadn't seen his Crystal in years, he could still feel the weight of it on his chest where he used to keep it on a chain. He would still be the Chosen unless things changed.
And Chosens had arranged marriages and strict family etiquette and no Chosen would ever be allowed to be with someone from Mizuho.
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
He couldn't bring himself to look at her when he stood up there, Colette flanked by angels and Pronyma on the ledge behind him. He felt cold, numb, distant from anything attached to his body and his heart, he was fairly certain, had dropped somewhere to the vicinity of his toes. He forcibly reminded himself, this was for Seles and him. So they'd both be free of the Chosen name.
(Not that it mattered where Sheena was concerned because she'd never cared about the title, about his status. It's what made him fall for her, but he didn't want to push, didn't want to scare her away because Sheena, brave as she might be in front of dragons and Summon Spirits, still shied away where romance was involved. So he hadn't brought up their kiss in the field and she hadn't mentioned anything about it either, leaving them in this strange impasse)
But just because he couldn't see her didn't mean he couldn't hear her. "…hell are you doing?"
He forced the words out because Seles needed this. He needed this. "What you're doing is hopeless and meaningless."
They accused him of things that he knew he was guilty of. He had betrayed them. And Sheena was in that place between confused and furious and he knew that her fury would soon be taking over the confusion.
"Zelos was our spy from the very beginning."
He'd hoped Pronyma wouldn't say that. Now, there were questions, specific questions, in her eyes, but he couldn't answer them now. Not when this needed to be done.
"You were leaking information to the Renegades too?" Zelos knew that Sheena tended to skip straight to imagining the worst and he knew that her timeframe of his betrayal went as far back as to when the Renegades first introduced themselves to the King, nearly three years ago.
He saw the moment when her entire persona iced over, eyes hard, lips thin. It would take a long time to earn back her forgiveness, if he ever could.
He hoped he could.
I know you're out there You're falling back to me
Somewhere out there
The star that I can see
I know you're out there somewhere out there
Zelos nearly didn't catch her. He nearly didn't reach her in time because these wings were still awkward and alien and Sheena was falling fast.
She fought him, at first. Bared her teeth and tried to break his grip out of instinctive anger.
"If you really want," he said, "I'll let you go."
Sheena paused then, glancing down at the darkness beneath them. It wasn't like any kind of darkness they'd ever seen, even in Shadow's temple. It had been gentle there, the shadows wrapping around them, not to harm, but to invite. The temple had been a place of worship, once. It missed people, missed their cacophony of emotions and their voices echoing off the walls.
These shadows, this darkness, here in Derris-Kharlan, were nothing like that. These were vaguely sinister and dry and Sheena was left with the feeling that, if one were to keep falling, they'd find themselves suspended in that darkness for eternity, alone with nothing but their voices.
So she stopped struggling and Zelos' arms tightened around her. She tried to pretend that she couldn't see the sunset wings—foolishness, really. They shone in the darkness, banishing away the clutching shadows, painting the world in golds and warm oranges.
Zelos tried to find the words to apologize—were there words, for what he'd done?—but couldn't find any. Not in the entire, seemingly endless, flight upwards. He set her down reluctantly. This could be the closest he'd be to her again because he'd knew Sheena's ability to hang on to grudges and anger.
She asked one thing—where are the others?—before he pointed towards where Presea was trying not to be dragged into the seemingly infinite tangle of roots that had, once, been the Great Kharlan Tree (The monstrosity that Sheena destroyed wasn't really it, they knew somehow. Perhaps instinct told them that the Tree could not be that…thing. That the Tree had been grand and so beautiful once)
Sheena was walking away from him, possibly forever, and suddenly, the words were in his throat and on his tongue.
"Sheena." Zelos grabbed her wrist and he knew that, if she really wanted to, she could break his grip at any moment. She was strong like that. "…I'm sorry I lied to you. To everyone."
She didn't say anything, just stood there and listened and Zelos was grateful for it because she knew how difficult apologies were for him.
"I-I had to do it. Don't you understand? My sister—"
That had apparently been the wrong to say. "Don't put the blame for this on Seles." Her tone was icy and Zelos remembered someone saying once that the temper of men ran hot and that that of women ran cold. "She might have been part of the reason, but she wasn't the main reason. You didn't want to be Chosen anymore."
He couldn't explain how the title had been slowly suffocating him since his parents died, how, when they spent their days in Meltokio together, the noose had loosened and he'd been able to breathe around her. "Can you blame me?"
"…Why didn't you just run, Zelos? Why didn't you just leave Meltokio?" He used to measure her anger by what she called him. If she called him by his last name, then she was annoyed and if by his title, truly angry. He'd always been safe with his first name before now.
Zelos chuckled bitterly. "And go where, darling? Everyone in Meltokio knows my face."
"I've seen you hide in public before."
"That's living a lie, Sheena. Dying my hair every month, changing the way I speak?"
"And you haven't lived a lie every instant since Cruxis went to you and dangled a carrot in front of your face?" She demanded.
"You think I liked it?"
"You sure looked proud of yourself back in the Tower."
Zelos winced. He'd seen Sheena furious at others—not for a while, but it wasn't the sort of thing you really ever forgot—and he'd underestimated her with no-holds-barred. "…I needed it to be believable."
"Believable?" Sheena repeated. "So you're saying that you didn't betray us?"
"No, I-I did. But there was more to it." Zelos dug in his pocket. "I needed to get this."
Sheena frowned at the rock in his hand. "What is that?"
"Aionis. It lets a human wield the Eternal Sword."
She studied him and the Aionis, but shook her head, finally breaking his grip with a quick twist of her wrist. "You should've told us."
"I couldn't take that chance. Not everyone might've acted believably."
Her eyes were still chilly when they met his. "Yeah, I forgot. Not everyone's as good an actor as you."
She strode away and Zelos couldn't find the strength to call her back.
You're falling out of reach You're falling back to me
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
I know, I know
They'd gotten to the point where they could have civil conversations again. Where Sheena could look at him without making him feel three inches tall.
"Come out for coffee with me." He said one morning when Sheena was reporting to the King on the state of affairs between Sylvarant and Tethe'alla. Despite the worlds being reunited, they were like two large countries, circling each other, not sure what to think.
She glanced over at him. Her hair was in a bun, as it usually was for official matters. She didn't wear her Mizuho clothes outside of the village much anymore, preferring breeches and a plain shirt. "Why?"
"I can't just want to enjoy your company?"
He saw her consider a sharp response before she sighed. "Sure."
They bought their coffee from a place down near the Research Academy—the researchers there had the best coffee—and sat on a low garden wall to watch the people go by. They didn't talk very much, the days when they could talk easily for hours gone. But at least the silence wasn't as awkward as it could be.
"Sheena."
She glanced at him over the rim of her Styrofoam cup. "Mm?"
"Do you…I mean, could you ever forgive me? For what I did?" He's not stupid enough to think that she'd forgiven him already. But he wanted to know if it could ever happen, if they could ever get back what they had.
Sheena set her cup down on the wall before leaning her forearms on her knees. "…I want to. I really do. I want to be able to say that I forgive you and believe it."
"But you can't."
"No."
"…Could you ever say it?"
"I don't know."
Honesty. Always honesty between them. That had been their code once, once that Zelos had broken and stomped on the pieces. But this, he recognized it for what it was. An offer to try again to be what they once were.
And Zelos would take that offer because trying for what they had was better than living with what they didn't.
You're falling out of reach
I know…