Disclaimer: misaoshiru owneth not Pirates of the Caribbean. It be owned by Disney and other various wealthy organizations. The writer of questionable sanity is not wealthy and therefore must not hold any part in said organizations, nor is she actually making any money off of this inane piece of writing.
Maybe the Stork?
by misaoshiru
"So."
The beginnings of a twitch. God, already? Jack had just gotten here. If Will was already twitching, he was going to develop a tic, he just knew it. "Yes?"
"William."
An exasperated sigh. "What now, Jack?"
"I talked to Elizabeth recently."
Ugh. That was always a bad sign. Another twitch. "And?"
"I hear talk you and she...have a kid."
That was news. "Really? Boy or girl?"
"Iunno. Who's the father?"
"...What?"
"Who's the father, really? Would you happen to know?"
"...Are you implying something?"
"...possibly?"
Another twitch. "Elizabeth wouldn't cheat on me."
"Really?"
Will massaged his temple; he was developing one hell of a headache. "Look, I don't have the time to argue with you, so would you please..."
"Oh, no, no need to argue, no need 't all. I was just wondering, given your condition..."
"What condition?"
"You know...snip-snip?"
Tic. "Jack Sparrow, get off my ship before I decide to stab you, make you beg to join my crew, then find a way to torture you for eternity. Without rum."
Jack started to back away slowly. "I'm sensing some anger management issues."
"No, Jack. Not issues. Just one. You. Go away."
"...Yes, Captain Turner. Ciao and all that, mate."
Will groaned and headed below deck. Jack was a good man to have on your side in battle, but dear Lord almighty, he was a headache waiting to happen. That just happened to happen.
Author's notes:
Another utterly pointless bit of PotC-related humor. Written solely because I wondered what Jack's reaction would be to hearing that Will and Elizabeth actually managed to reproduce. If you're wondering whether this will be continued, the answer is a definite no...this is a oneshot, a drabble-thing, and it's complete. So...yeah. Doom upon your chickens and all that. Ta.