Kirk stopped outside a crewman's door. He announced himself and waited for permission to enter. He did not get any reply. Kirk sighed, and overriding the lock code, walked into the dark and untidy room. The young ensign slouched by his desk at the back of the room. He gave no sign that he acknowledged his visitor but stared moodily at the viewscreen in front of him.

"Do you always ignore your Captain and show such blatant disrespect?"

Chekov flinched and replied." You are not my Captain. I gave notice that I wanted to be discharged from service."

Kirk said sharply, "On your feet, Ensign, and look me in the eyes when I talk to you."

Chekov stood at attention but kept his eyes on the floor.

"I said, look me in the eyes when I talk to you."

Chekov slowly lifted his gaze to his Captain and dropped his eyes to the floor.

"You are not discharged until I sign and authorize that notice. If anything, I should throw you in the brig for dereliction of duty. Spock had to call a navigator to the Bridge. That navigator had the day off assigned to him. So, I want an explanation why we had to pull him from his day off to cover for you."

"Then throw me in the brig. I care not."

"Spock has mentioned several times that you are the most promising ensign on the Enterprise. He and I have invested valuable time in training you. Now you pull a stunt like this."

The next few seconds went by. Kirk, irritated by the silence, spoke again in a soft, deadly voice.

"I want an explanation, Mister."

Chekov answered," You should have spent your time training some one else, Captain. For I am so unworthy of it."

Inwardly, Kirk sighed. How does he handle this young officer? So ashamed and guilt ridden he was unable to leave his room or meet the gaze of his superior officer.

Some Captains would have suggested counseling, but that would be the easy way out.

"Chekov, sit down. That's better. Now, do you want to leave Starfleet?"

"No, Sir, never."

"Do you wish to transfer to another ship?'

"No, Sir, I do not."

"Then what are you planning to do?"

"Just leave, away from here."

"Chekov, your problems will not stay behind when you leave the Enterprise. They will be with you always. You read the report. You never had a brother killed by Klingons. You reacted under the influence of the controlling entity and I do not blame you or hold you responsible for your actions."

Chekov lowered his head. "No one can blame me as much as I blame myself. I left my post during a dangerous situation to pursue my own vengeance. I threatened you with a weapon. Either one is a serious offense. I tried to attack the Klingon captain. Then I assaulted his wife because I wanted revenge.…No, not even that. I tried to attack her because she was beautiful, and she was there. I have flirted but never forced myself on any girl. I did not think I was capable of it. You should not even be in the same room with me, Sir."

"Chekov, in what regard do you regard me as a Captain?"

"The very highest of regard. You are everything a Starship Captain should be."

"In what regard as a man?"

"The same, Sir, in the very highest of regard."

"Do you know I once assaulted a woman?"

Chekov leaned back and stared in wide-eyed shock. He slowly shook his head.

"It was before you came to the Bridge. She was a member of my crew. A transporter malfunction created a physical double of me. He got drunk and went into her room."

Chekov smiled in relief." But it was not you, Sir It was the other one."

"No, it was me. My dark side of emotions. All composed of my anger, hate, passion. No control or discipline. But everyone has a chaotic dark side. It is a vital, integral part of ourselves. Dark selves give us our inner strength and resolve. Our willpower and our determination to fight and never give up. Maybe at one time we developed these dark selves to survive. We will always need them because it makes us who we are."

Chekov frowned. "But how do you stop these dark selves?"

"We cannot. But we can control them. To not let them decide what we do. Recognize when we are held by our dark selves and prevent them from doing further harm. We combat them with our wisdom and our logic. To not make decisions based on fear or anger. To say to yourself, No, you will not control me again."

"I will do so."

Kirk smiled, "Would you like me to delete the transfer request?"

"Yes, Captain. Thank you."

"Good. Clean yourself up and report to the Bridge to work the remainder of your shift. I want you to apologize to the navigator who was called in to take your place. And an apology to Spock. He chose to notify me instead of making a report of this."

"Yessir." He glanced at Kirk and smiled shyly. "Does Mister Spock really say that about me?"

"Yes, he does. But don't tell him I told you."