Bakura's first trip to the water park!
Bakura, still bruised and aching from his last and final trip to the petting zoo.
He sat on the couch picking on his scab watching TV. He flipped to the cartoons and watched whatever was on.
"Sugar! Spice…and everything nice!—
Bakura started screaming frantically and looked for the remote.
"This were the ingredients—Bakura started screaming—Professor Ut—something used to create the perfect little girls—
Bakura grabbed some cotton and shoved them in his ears.
"CHECICAL X! KABOOM!" The TV blared.
The powerpuff girls theme started playing making Bakura cry.
He watched for the hell of it still with tears in his eyes.
"Buttercup, I am forevermore a lesbian." Blossom said.
"But Blossom…we're sisters!" Buttercup cried.
Bakura watched sadly as Blossom the lesbian parted with her sisters.
"I'm off…off to find some lesbian friends and boom boom kaboom with them!" She sighed sadly as her sisters cried.
Bakura turned the TV off.
"What…the…fuck?" He said getting up from the couch.
He stretched and went to the fridge for some food.
"Ah, finally you've unglued your ass from the couch. Now I can tell you the news. We're going to Marik's house." Ryou said watching Bakura take apple juice out of the fridge.
Bakura gasped. He opened the apple juice quickly, poured it in his cup of ice, waited a couple of minutes so the juice could get cold, took a sip, and spit it in shock at Ryou.
"I bet you wanted to do that forever." Ryou said wiping his face.
"Marik's house?" Bakura said in shock. The little German Marik germ memories came flashing back to his head and he made groaning wincing and pained noises.
He remembered something…
He grabbed Ryou's hand.
"Ryou, I am…forevermore…a lesbian." He said sniffing sadly.
Ryou got his hand back and looked at Bakura in confusion stepping away from him.
"I…I came out of the bathroom." Bakura said putting a hand on the wall and putting his head down in shame.
"I believe you came out of the closet." Ryou said.
"Whatever. Well…farewell Ryou…I'm off to find some lesbian friends so I can boom boom kaboom with them." Bakura said opening the door.
Marik was standing there smiling at him idiotically.
Bakura screamed and went to jump in Ryou's arms when Ryou stepped away.
Bakura stopped in mid air jump and just stood next to Ryou.
"What's this I hear about Bakura being a lesbo?" Marik asked.
"Lesbo! Lesbo! Oh my god Bakura we can be lesbo friends together and boom boom kaboom together!" Tea said.
"No! No! Anything but her!" Bakura cried.
"He is not focused! Attack!" The Marik germs screamed.
Bakura saw the germs come attack him and remembered the scene in Gladiator where they put everything in slow motion and shields clanked and swords too.
He shook his head and blocked himself with Tea.
"Ah! Cough cough! I am dying! Someone like save me. Ah. Cough cough." She said swallowing some Marik germs and drowning in them.
"Those were the most pathetic coughs." Bakura said letting her drop and die.
"Our best armies were in there." The Marik germ chief said angrily slamming his small hands on the table.
"Sorry sir we've failed. He…he's…just to smart."
"Whoop there goes my brain." Bakura said when his brain fell out of his ear.
"Hey! That's something that would happen to me." Mairk said.
"No…it wouldn't because you have no brain." Bakura said.
"Oh…then…am I alive? Are you alive? Is it really a small world?" Marik asked making one of his eyes small.
They heard faint music.
"It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small, small world!"
Marik started screaming.
"They're lying! The world is not small! Or is it! My feeble brain!" He cried.
"You don't have one!" Bakura screamed.
Marik twitched and shook. He was traumatized from the "It's a small world music"
"Marik why are you here? We're supposed to go over to your house so I can tell you "Yes, we're going to the water park." Ryou said.
"Oh! Why didn't you say something? Wait let me go home." Marik said running out.
15 minutes later.
The phone rang.
"You can come now." Marik said over the phone.
Ryou hung up. "Why did I pick retarded people to be my friends?" He sighed.
Bakura walked confidently without his Anti-sep Lysol water or plastic bubble.
"Have we gotten over out fear of the Marik germs and finally realized THEY ARE NOT REAL!" Ryou asked.
"No and…they are very real! They are real like Santa Clause and they…are…evil!" Bakura said dramatically.
"No this again. Santa Clause is not—ugh never mind you're too stupid anyway." Ryou said sighing.
They opened the door to the museum and looked at the stairs.
It was quiet. Too quiet in the Marik household. It's never quiet in the Marik household. It's got Marik living in it.
They waited.
The sink dropped water.
A glass was broken.
"Sorry." Yami Marik said.
A slap was heard followed by an "Ow."
Silence…once again.
Then…footsteps…
Louder
Louder—
"Will you stop!" Ryou screamed.
"What I'm making good poetry here." Bakura said.
Marik came running down the stairs.
"Ba-a-a-k-k-k-u-u-u-r-r-r-a-a-a!" He screamed dramatically running slowly with his arms raised for a hug.
He got closer and closer and CLOSER!
Bakura held a tape recorder in front of his face and pressed play.
Marik's eyes widened.
"Stop lying!" He screamed when it's a small world was playing.
Bakura laughed evilly.
Ryou sighed in exasperation. "Can we go already?" He asked.
"Must…resist…music—squirms on the ground in fetal position, twitching—can't…make it." Marik strained.
"I've paralyzed the Marik germs, I'm putting Marik out of his misery and I am unstoppable now! With this little kiddy music by my side with it's cuteness and it's—damn…I'm not supposed to like anything cute." Bakura said throwing the tape recorder and breaking it.
Marik stood up. "I'm alive!" he screamed.
Bakura realized what he did and ran to the tape recorder.
"Work! Work! Work!" He screamed pointing it at Marik.
"Aw Bakura a present for me? You shouldn't have. Really you shouldn't I'm flat out broke now I'm supposed to buy you a gift and I have no money. Aw well I'll just find something under my bed. But thatnk you!" Marik said hugging Bakura.
"AHH! Ryou! Get him off! Please! Have mercy on my soul! My body! It's cold! It's growing dark. Black. Black everything is black." Bakura said.
Marik took a black shirt that was covering Bakura's eyes.
"There now you can see again. And you can see my pretty face!" Marik smiled.
Bakura's eyes shattered. He twitched madly on the ground.
Ryou picked up his Yami and took him to the car.
"The water park should be like…eightien minutes away." Marik said.
"Is that 8 minutes or 80 because eightien is not a number?" Ryou said
"8? 80? What language are you speaking Ryou?" Marik asked turning on his car.
"Um…it's called English and I'll feel much better if I drived." Ryou said kicking Marik to the passenger seat.
Marik crawled to the back of the car and started braiding Bakura's hair.
"Bakura's gonna look so cute with all these little braids. My Yami loved his braids." Marik said smiling.
Intermission with Ryou and Marik's car trip-
Back at the house with Yami Marik.
"Damn Marik. I'm gonna have to lock my door. But I have this strange feeling he can crawl under there. He's like a fucking cockroach. I guess Bakura's right." Yami Marik grunted trying to undo the tight braids Marik did to his hair.
"Nice braids Yami Marik." Ishizu said laughing.
"Shut the fuck up you slutty ass whore!" Yami Marik screamed swinging his arms are throwing the brush at the glass breaking it.
"God dammit!" He screamed.
Back with Ryou-
"A jillion bottles of beer on the wall a jillion bottles of beer you take one down pass it around a jillion bottles of beer on the wall. A jillion 2 million agubazillion pampillion bottles of beer on the wall a jillion 2 million agubazillion pampillion bottles of beer you take one down a jillion 3 million agubazillion pampillion bottles of beer on the wall!" Marik sang annoyingly.
"You're supposed to go down Marik in the numbers not up! Pampillion is not a number! Shut up! God you've been singing the past 1 and a half hours!" Ryou screamed.
Marik sniffed sadly and teared.
"I'm sorry Marik." Ryou apologized.
"You shouldn't apologize Marik! Goddamn! He was annoying!" Bakura screamed.
Bakura stretched in the back seat and saw the Marik germs playing cards on his stomach.
"Ace and three hearts." A germ said tossing cards on a table.
"Bullshit." Another germ said.
"Guess again! Ha! You suck you owe me 500 bucks." The germ said.
"Damn." The germ said disappointed.
"Ewww!
Bakura screamed wiping his stomach.
"Ah! Our game!" The germs screamed flying everywhere.
Ryou parked the car in front of the park and got out.
"Oh shit! Oh shit! I'm fucking surrounded!" Bakura screamed still wiping himself of Marik's germs.
"Well you were sitting in the back seat with me for a couple of hours. Baby." Marik said grabbing Bakura's arms.
"Don't touch me!" Bakura screamed.
"Piss Park." Ryou read the name of the park.
"Piss Park." Bakura said.
"Piss Park!" Marik screamed.
"They don't piss in the water right?" Ryou asked.
"I know I do." Marik said.
Everyone around Marik gave him weird looks and whispered "If I see him in the water I'm not getting near him."
"Well let's go have fun!" Marik said skipping inside.
Bakura stayed at the exit.
"Come on Bakura." Ryou said.
"I…I don't know how to swim." He whispered kicking the ground underneath him.
"The water's not deep you won't need to swim…I think." Ryou said grabbing his arm.
"Ok." Bakura said.
Ryou parted with Bakura and left him to travel the park by himself while he ate at the food court.
"Ok. I'm gonna ride this one first." Bakura said running to the top of the stairs.
"You look like a mighty fit fellow think you can take this water ride?" The guy at the top asked.
"Dude stop checking me out." Bakura said pushing him off his stool and going to the ride.
He sat down and bumped his head at the top of the slide.
"Ow!" He screamed. He slide down and heard a lady screaming, "We didn't teach you the position of how you should be inside the slide."
He had been sliding for a couple of minutes when he moved his arm up and got stuck in the tube.
"Fuck! You're fucking shitting me!" He screamed trying to get loose.
He struggled inside the tube and heard someone else coming down the slide.
"Fuck!" He screamed. The person game and got stuck with him there.
"Move! The fat guy said.
"GOD DAMN! HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIT IN HERE!" Bakura screamed.
The fat guy started crying and kicked Bakura out of the tube.
He reached the end where the shallow water was and panicked.
"Help! –Coughs—Help! I can't –coughs and splashes—I can't swim!" He screamed trying to get up.
The fat guy came down the tube and squished him.
"The water's shallow you idiot." The fat guy said standing Bakura up.
"Go on a diet!" Bakura screamed.
He rubbed his arms and decided to relax in a calm narrow river thing.
He sat in the middle of the lifesaver and sunk leaving his feet and arms and half his head out in the air.
He screamed for help and was helped out by Ryou.
"What the hell is your problem?" Ryou asked.
Bakura hugged Ryou and started crying.
"Ryou it was horrible! I got stuck in a tube and and and I almost drowned in a little pool! A fat guy was mean to me and kicked me! I got stuck in this life saver!" He cried hysterically.
Ryou patted his back and grabbed his shoulders comforting.
He inhaled to say something.
"You got stuck in a tube? Is their any brain left in there in your head?" He asked laughing hysterically.
"You know! You're a fat ass bitch!" Bakura screamed pushing Ryou to the floor and walking off.
"Drowning!" Ryou laughing. "In a shallow pool!"
He laughed so hard he started choking on his own spit.
"Serves you right bitch!" Bakura screamed.
He saw Marik at the food court drenched with water ordering food.
"Yea what's in the hot dog? What is a hot dog? Is the world really as small as they say it is? Because you know I've seen that shit on a map and it ain't small I could tell you that. That it's huge. It's bigger than like…um an ANT! Those ants are huge man! You know what's small the world! God it's so tiny! An ants bigger than the world." Marik was rambling.
"What the hell that poor lady getting consumed by the Marik germs." Bakura said sadly.
He walked on and stepped on a twig. Everything became silent except the wind howling. He looked in Marik's direction.
Marik looked in his and smiled widely.
"Bakura! There you are!" Marik screamed running over to him in slow motion.
"No!" Bakura screamed waving his arms in the hair in a "no" gesture.
Marik took big running steps and slowly fell to the ground in front of Bakura.
Bakura laughed in slow motion with a big deep voice pointing at Marik.
Marik sat up and saw his knee bleeding.
"Ah! Strawberry juice is coming out of my leg!" He cried.
Bakura walked off and kept hearing Marik crying hysterically.
"Someone help me please!" Marik cried.
Bakura walked over to Marik feeling sorry for him.
Marik sniffed and wiped his nose. He looked at his hand and wiped whatever was on it on Bakura.
"Fuck you now I was gonna help you!" Bakura screamed walking away.
Marik grabbed his hand and sniffed loudly.
"Fine! Damn." Bakura said angrily putting a band-aid on Marik's cut.
Marik looked at his band-aid and went to throw himself on Bakura.
"No." Bakura screamed.
"That…was…so sweet Bakura!" Ryou said video taping Bakura helping Marik out.
"You can't black mail me with that!" Bakura screamed.
"Yes I can." Ryou said.
Marik sat in the water watching Ryou and Bakura battle it out.
He sihed in delight and everybody in his pool ran out.
"We are closing the park because a man going by the name of Bakura pissed in a pool!" The announcer said,
"I wasn't even in the—you dirty whore!" Balura screamed pointing a finger at Marik.
"I like your name." Marik said smiling.
They exited the park and everyone gave Bakura dirty looks.
"Bitch Marik." He grumbled.
They sat in the car and Marik started singing again.
"Where did I leave off? Oh yea. A jillion 5 billion 60 million a zillion pampillion bottles of beer on the wall—
Bakura started screaming and Ryou put on some earplugs.
Meanwhile,
"I have made it to the brain!" A Marik germ said laughing insanely.
"Many said I couldn't do it! Who's laughing now Bob! Who's laughing now! Hahahahaha! Me! Damn that's one small brain." The germ said.
Bakura started beating his head against the window.
The germ fell out of Bakura's ear and started screaming insanely.
"I was so close! I was so close!" It screamed.
Bakura saw the Marik germ and squished it with its finger. He wiped it on Marik who was at about A jillion 10 billion 70 million a 10 zillion 30 pampillion bottles of beer on the wall.
"Bakura touch me later I need to focus." Marik said.
"Aw! Damn now I lost count!" He screamed singing all over again.
Ryou stopped the car and grabbed his Yami's arm taking him home.
Wow. It's been a while since I've posted a Bakura's first story. Meh, I'm running out of ideas. ow disappointing. I might as well ahve you review something while I make you wait for the other chapters of my story. I only get like 4 reviews for each chapter. Lol. How in the hell did I get 40? Unless...no no. Never mind. I only get reviews the first day I post them. It's sad but I'm still good. I like getting nice reviews even if it takes a year or something. Hope you like it and think it's funny!