AN: This fic is a departure for me, but I wanted to try something a little different—more plot-driven. I apologize in advance for any plot-holes (although the TTP writers fell into a few of them too—smiles and winks). It's divided into two parts because of the length. I hope it works, and that you enjoy it.

Part one

"Tell me," she said. With those simple words, Astrid tapped into the wellspring that even John had no idea existed just beneath the surface. He had no idea how liberating it would feel to express what he'd been keeping inside. So he told her. He told her as much as he thought she could handle, and as much as he could bear to reveal.

They lay together on her family's couch. Astrid tucked safely against him, his arms encircling her. Her curls fanned across his chest.

His first memory was of wrenching pain. It was as though his body was being torn apart from within—as though every nerve ending was firing at once, and every skin cell was on fire. And then it was over. Jedikiah was there, telling him he'd be okay. John remembered the look in Jedikiah's eyes when he told him that he could remember nothing and no one. John couldn't see Astrid's face when he told her this, but he could feel her tense in his embrace. Still, she said nothing, except to encourage him to continue, "Go on."

"Jedikiah helped me recover and then train. He helped me understand these powers … helped me harness them. He gave me whatever I needed. He was patient in a way, but also kept pushing me. And when I was ready …" Here he hesitated, but after a long moment, he went on, "he took me to meet a senator—a skeptic—together we showed him what we bring to the table. Now, Jed has the funding and facilities he needs to continue his research."

He let that settle in for a moment. Then began again. "The world is a dangerous place, Astrid. There are paranormals out there who are unconstrained, going rogue, doing whatever they please. Even worse, there are those who still admire Hugh Bathory, who believe he was a prophet of sorts, making the world safe for paranormals."

"I know. Jedikiah told me."

"Jedikiah?" Now it was his turn to tense. She could feel his muscles flex slightly, and his arm tighten around her. "When did you see Jed? What did he want?"

She worked to make her voice sound reassuring. "He came to see me when you were away. Typical Jedikiah really … he wanted me to know that he knows about us, and he's okay with it, as long as I'm not a distraction."

He chuckled. It rippled through his chest, and it comforted her. "That does sound like Jed." Then he grew serious again. "The missions I do help eliminate these threats."

"John," she started in a soft voice, "I worry about you. I mean, I know you have extraordinary powers, but there are still risks. You can only do so much."

They were silent for a time before he began again, "I know. That's why we're trying to recruit others."

She pushed herself up so that she could look him in the eyes, "Stephen?"

"No," his hand touched her cheek, then ran through her hair. He gently pulled her close and kissed her—softly at first, almost chaste. But then desire took them both, and they gave into it hungrily. And when, by silent yet mutual agreement, they paused to catch their breath, he asked, "Astrid, before … were we …" he searched for the right way to express himself, "intimate?"

She wondered how they had taken this detour so suddenly. "If you mean were we lovers, then the answer is no. In some ways, we were just getting to know one another, but in another way, we were really close." It defied tidy encapsulation. "It's complicated," she concluded.

"I want to know. I want to understand."

All at once, Astrid realized there was much more to making this work than just being together. John might be a blank slate, but she was not. They had history, and he had history with others. If they were going to be together, he had to know. Even if it was just a story to him, like hearing about the lives of other people, he needed to hear it.

She began with their history together—how he redefined her notion of heroic the day he saved her life—through the aftermath of having his powers taken—through taking those first steps toward something deeper. She was honest about the resentment she harbored toward Jedikiah, especially for abruptly altering their future. She concluded by telling him, "The last thing you told me was that you'd make it up to me. And then I didn't see you again, until the day you came into the café."

"I'm sorry Astrid."

"There's no need—not anymore. I've been angry and frustrated, and a lot of other things, but in the end, it's not your fault … and if Jedikiah is telling the truth, it's not even his fault."

"You don't cut Jed any slack, do you?"

"Can you blame me? You have to admit, it's rather convenient for him. He's had you all to himself, and he alone has been able to reshape your future." She didn't want to talk about Jedikiah; doing so only delayed the inevitable. She knew she had to turn the conversation to his past once more. She began, "There's something else you should know. You were in a relationship with someone else … Cara Coburn."

He said nothing. "John?"

"I don't remember her, or the time I spent with you for that matter," he said, his voice subdued, the taciturn man she met a few weeks ago reasserting himself. But he went on, "I lost more than my memory, I lost my sense of self. I feel like I'm relearning everything about myself," his frustration was manifest.

"I know, but one day your memory may come back—maybe in bits and pieces or maybe all at once. Either way, I think you have the right to know … not just about me, but all of it. It would have felt like lying if I didn't tell you."

"Is that how you feel when I don't tell you about my missions?"

"That's different. I get it … 'need to know' and all that. I can even see that if I knew more I could be a liability to you, a point of leverage for someone wanting to get to you." She went on, "Obviously, I don't know any of the details—about you and Cara, I mean. I just know that you two were a couple before your powers were taken, although …" she fell silent.

"What?"

"Never mind. It doesn't matter." She decided it was best to leave what she knew about Stephen and Cara out of it. That would be Cara's story to tell, should the opportunity ever come to pass.

"And what about you?" he asked.

"What about me?" she responded, not following his train of thought. "Oh!" The intent of his question dawned on her. "Um, nothing much to tell really … I thought I was in love with someone, but he didn't feel the same."

"That must have been painful."

"It was, but not long after that, I realized that my feelings for you were changing."

Astrid settled herself back into John's arms and closed her eyes. Reciting their history surfaced emotions she'd tried to suppress. She reawakened the sense of loss she felt about her friendship with Stephen. Of course they were still friends, but it was nothing like the closeness they felt before all this paranormal madness began. She missed that, though it was replaced by something good, symbolized by John's strong arms around her, but with it came nagging uncertainty, fear even …

A ray of sunlight that found its way through the parted window shades to Astrid's face was the first indication. Morning had dawned before Astrid had even realized she'd fallen asleep. "Oh crap!" she sat up with a start.

"What's wrong," John seemed fully awake, even in the moment of waking.

"We must have fallen asleep. What time is it?" she reached for her phone to check the time. "Oh crap!" she repeated. "I have to open the café in an hour." She was already up and moving toward the stairs. "I have to shower and dress," she said taking stock of herself … still wearing her blue dress from the night before, bare feet, curls unruly.

He smiled, "You know, I can get you there in no time."

John teleported directly into Jedikiah's new lab facility. It had been an empty shell in the basement of a non-descript government office building when the senator arranged to make it available for Jedikiah's use. Though the senator was still far from convinced, he had carved out a sufficient allocation, and effectively buried it in funding for other projects. From there, the space was built-out and equipped to Jedikiah's specifications. Everything was gleaming and new in the warren of small interconnecting rooms, but it was still a far cry from his heady days at Ultra.

Though Jed would never characterize it as such, John knew that the program was falling well short of expectations. Jedikiah's bravado-fueled promise to the senator to recruit an army of "super-soldiers" had proven more difficult to fulfill than he'd anticipated. Jedikiah believed the ideal recruits would already be skilled fighters, with demonstrated survival instincts—in short, John's former friends from the underground lair would be perfect. But they had no interest in being "recruited," and cat and mouse-like engagements ensued. They were no longer in the underground lair, and without a constant connection to them, as he had had through Stephen in the past, their goals and actions were more difficult to predict or anticipate. Jedikiah grew tired of this status quo, and was already working on a Plan B, because he knew he needed something to show the senator for his expenditures to date.

"Where've you been? When did you get back?" Jedikiah asked, barely looking up from his work.

"Last night," John offered only the essentials.

Now he stopped his work, and turned to face John fully. "Why didn't you check in? You know the protocol."

"I had something I had to do … it took longer than I expected."

"I'll bet."

John noted Jed's testy tone. Must be one of those days, he thought, knowing that the pressure that Jed was under would continue to increase until he produced tangible results.

"Does this have anything to do with one Astrid Finch? Because if it does, John, you need to get your priorities straight, and remember your commitment to this program."

"I am committed to the program, Jed, but I'm evolving …"

Jedikiah looked up at him in excitement, "Your powers?"

"No Jed, not my powers—me. Doing missions isn't enough anymore."

The change in Jed's demeanor made clear his disappointment. But at least he tried to mask it by saying, "I guess it was bound to happen, kid. I can't say I'm surprised. After all, no man … no one is an island, and I knew the risk when I sent you to see her."

Then they debriefed the mission that was. Afterward, Jed told John, "I have a new assignment for you."

"Okay, what is it? Rogue paranormal, Bathory cultist, or antagonistic Jameson loyalist?"

"None of the above—it's a non-paranormal threat. This is a special assignment for the senator. It should be straightforward." He handed John a folder, which John perused as Jedikiah continued, "Extract him, find out what he knows, and then leave him on the streets of Shanghai, Istanbul, Buenos Aires, wherever you like … as long as he doesn't know who we are, or how he got there."

"When?"

"ASAP—now, or tonight, if you prefer the cover of darkness. And don't tell me you have plans to see your girlfriend. She may as well get used to how this works."

Just as John was preparing to take his leave, Jedikiah added, "Check in with me as soon as you get back this time. I have a mission of a more personal nature that I'd like you to do."

"Sure," was John's only response, and then he was gone.

Astrid received the briefest of messages from John: "Out of town for the day. See you when I get back." That was all. She didn't need more or take offense at the brevity. She could see now that this was for the best. And anyway, when he'd left her at the café that morning, it was with a lingering passionate kiss, followed by a very sweet kiss to her temple. Then he teleported away, presumably to meet Jedikiah.

It wasn't until one day stretched to two, and then to three that she began to worry. Maybe it was just more complicated than he originally believed, she told herself. Still, she hated waiting and wondering. At the end of his third day away, she offered to stay late to close the café. Work was always a welcome distraction. She'd had her voice lesson the previous day, so this evening she was looking forward to nothing more than dinner with her parents, followed by catching up on some of her favorite TV shows that she'd neglected in recent weeks.

She had just headed into the kitchen to put a few things away in anticipation of closing, when she heard the door open. "I'll be right with you," she called. Then her heart leaped as she thought perhaps it was John. Leaving the empty milk pitchers on the counter, she hurried back into the café, but instead of John, it was Jedikiah waiting for her.

"Hello Astrid," his face was serious.

"John? Is he okay?" Panicked thoughts raced through her mind.

"I was hoping he was with you, or least that you'd heard from him."

"No, I got a text from him the day before yesterday saying he'd be away for the day. I assumed that meant he was working on some assignment for you."

"He was, but he should have been back by now, and he's past due to check in—he isn't following the protocol we established in case a mission takes longer than planned, but is going okay." He went on as if thinking aloud, rather than to Astrid, "No, I think something must have gone wrong." Then he looked directly at her, "and if what I think has happened actually has happened, I'm going to need your help Astrid."

"My help? Why?"

"It's a long story."

"Can you give me the abridged version?" She looked at her watch. "Actually, I have to close up now. Maybe you can tell me while I finish up." She locked the door, and dimmed the café lights. "This way," she invited him to follow her into the kitchen. Tony, the chef, was busy cleaning up the kitchen when they walked in. "I can finish up here," she said to him. "Why don't you take off?"

He eyed Jedikiah narrowly, "You sure?"

"We'll be fine. Tony, Jedikiah. Jedikiah, Tony." And then to Tony, "Jedikiah is my best friend's uncle. We're going to catch up while I finish up here. See you in morning."

When Tony was gone, Astrid turned to Jedikiah, "You were saying?" as she set about tidying the kitchen and readying it for the next day.

"My ex is having a baby. She's due … I don't know the exact date, but soon."

"Wow, I didn't know you were married. Frankly, I never pictured you as the family type," she added absently.

"I wasn't and I'm not," he responded flatly. "Anyway, she contacted me … said she wanted to talk. So I sent John to check it out."

"Seriously Jedikiah? You sent John? Why?" Astrid asked.

"I just wanted to find out how she is and what she wants."

"Other than to reach out to her baby's father before she gives birth …"

"It's complicated. The last time we saw each other," his eyes shifted off into the distance, "some things were said, some things were done …" Things he clearly did not intend to share with Astrid, but from his demeanor she could tell it was bad.

She said, not to let him off the hook, but to hasten the point of the story, "Okay, cut to the chase. You sent John, and now you think he was … what? Overpowered by a pregnant woman?" By now Astrid had stopped working and stood across the stainless steel prep area from Jedikiah, looking him in the eyes. He said nothing, but cocked his head to the side, and raised an eyebrow. Then the truth of the situation became clear, "She's one of them."

"I did say it was complicated. I think they have him."

"Who?"

"Stephen, Cara, whatever their paranormal followers are calling themselves these days. That's why I need your help. I need you to approach Stephen."

"So let me see if I have this straight? She asked you to meet her, but you sent John instead—not to kidnap her, or anything bad like that, just to check it out. In the meantime, the whole thing was a trap for John? That doesn't make sense."

"Of course it does. If I show up, they take me as leverage to get John. If John shows up, they take him."

"So what they wanted all along was to get John?"

"No doubt they want him back in the fold—they want his memory to come back so he'll rejoin them."

She agonized for a few long moments—after all this was the same Jedikiah who had tried to have her killed. He'd been ruthless, and perhaps he was no different now. Perhaps, his only goal was to retain his hold on John, to have him available to undertake missions, to be the child he never had, or a substitute for the one he may never meet.

And then there were her own conflicted feelings. Once, all she wanted was for John's memory to return. But now that she'd accepted him—more than accepted him—fallen in love with him—perhaps her motives were no more pure than Jedikiah's. She pushed back against these sentiments. "Maybe that's a good thing. Stephen and Cara would never hurt John, Jedikiah. And maybe, they hold the key to unlocking his memory."

"And what about what John wants, Astrid? Not John as he was before, but John right now. He's never voluntarily sought them out." She gave him a skeptical look. "If anyone else was telling you this, you'd listen," he told her in frustration. "And what happens if his memory doesn't come back? Have you thought about that? Don't be naïve. Do you think they'll let him leave with his powers intact? Think about it, Astrid. They'll take his powers again. What other recourse will they have?"

"There must be someone else you can send. Why me?"

"Because Stephen trusts you. He'll let you see John. If I send someone else with John's skill-set, there's no way they'll let him anywhere near John … you, on the other hand … just go and ask Stephen as your friend to let you see John—better still, to let John leave with you. No harm in that, right? Then we'll know where things stand."

She hated to admit it, but that, at least, made sense. "Okay, how? When?"

"First thing tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? I can't. I have responsibilities. I can't just take off without any warning."

"Astrid, you work for your dad. Just tell him … well, I'm sure you'll think of something."

"Is there any possibility that you've made a mistake and they don't have him?"

"They do," he responded with finality. He slid his card across the stainless steel counter to her. "Come by my lab at 7:30; we'll nail down a plan then. I'll leave a pass for you with the guard at the front desk. Don't be late."