Disclaimer: Do not own Glee.
A/N: Just a short something that popped in my head when i woke up to a storm in the middle of the night. Plays after the Frenemies episode.
Left unspoken
Thunder rolls over the ever buzzing streets of New York, lightning disrupting the black sky hanging like a death treat over the city. Rain splashes on windows and walls, drenching the concrete and taking no pity on anyone stupid enough not seeking cover. Around you, the drops play a soothing music, calming your heart and hiding away the tears finally breaking free. You sit on the rooftop, your suitcase and coat left behind at the door. Your clothes are soaked through, your hair plastered to your face and a slight chill chases away the burning heat of the shame inside you. You know you overreacted and crossed the point of no return. There had been no reason to revert to High-school-diva Rachel and destroy the friendship you fought so hard to establish. How you wish you could go back, but what was done, was done. Tomorrow you would move on, replace the mask on your face and meet life with the same ferocity as before. Tomorrow you would take the next step on your path and never look back to mistakes made in the past. Tomorrow…
Tonight, however, you mourn. Mourn what was lost and what could have been.
A soft creaking of the door leading to the stairs and the slow approach of light, tentative footsteps announce the presence of another on the roof. You know who it is, not needing to turn around to confirm it. You keep gazing out into the night, face ghost-like lit by the pale streetlights below and the crackling lightening above you. You won't break the silence between the two of you, even if you would have known what to say. Another step and a coat is draped carefully over your shoulders. Thin, feminine hands rest there for only a second longer, testing your reactions, waiting to be slapped away. When no such thing happens, the last step is taken, long, tanned arms wrap around your waist, bringing you gently against the woman's body. A husky voice touches your ear; words are murmured softly making you shiver.
"You should not be outside in this weather, Rach. You will catch a cold."
You lean fully into her embrace, the fragile, caring intimacy so different from the hurtful, brutal yelling of the last week. You both had caused pain, both responsible for whatever had broken today. Neither had let go of their pride, neither willing to back down, even if it meant loosing each other. Why is apologizing so impossible for both of you? You know there is no turning back, and the tightening of her arms indicates that Santana knows it too. This are the last beautiful, tragic moments of your friendship. You would never be just Rach and Tana again. Your trust was too strained to go back to this. There would be a different kind of relationship. And so, the only thing left to do, is mourning, for just one night, what you both started losing the moment your slap had reddened Santana's cheek.
"I will miss you , Tana…"
Your fingers lock with Santana's, further strengthening your bond. She nuzzles your temple, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. You feel her fear of what will come with the sunrise. The daylight would force you both to face the harsh reality to continue alongside each other, yet not together anymore.
"I will miss you too, Rach."
"There is no going back, is there?"
You feel the shacking of her head against your shoulder. Tears escape your eyes with renewed vigor and you know exactly that the drops falling against your shoulder are not from the rain pouring down on your embracing figures.
"We made it further than I thought we would."
Her comment breaks your heart, even though you both knew that you had a friendship on borrowed time. You are too different, too unyielding in your ways for the bond between you to survive. In moments like this you always liked to forget it, just holding with desperate force on what ever should have been.
"We did. I am happy for that."
So many other things linger in between the words your said. The silence now reestablished between you, speaks of everything you cannot and will not say. All the Thank you's never uttered, only seen in softening eyes, all the I am sorry's the touch of your hands expressed, and finally the one I love you that would always only be a distant possibility.
She slowly lets go and you turn. Your own brown eyes meet hers and a lifetime with her on your side plays out in only a second. You stand on your toes and press a lingering kiss on her lips, adding a goodbye to words never said and step away. Your hands brush hers a last time and then you walk away without looking back, leaving her standing on the spot that became yours. Tomorrow you would face again, not acknowledging what happened tonight. Tomorrow there would be more yelling, more fighting, more hurting. Tomorrow you would be Lopez and Berry.
Tonight, you walk away from a broken heart.
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