Disclaimer: I do not own "House, M.D.".
This is a short, humorous oneshot. It's also the first House fic I ever posted! Come to think of it, it's not really a fic so much as a list sort of thing, but still...
And by the way, number fourteen was a quote I got from House off of IMDB . com.
The Things I've Learned from "House"
1. It's never lupus.
2. If you're smart enough, you can get away with anything.
3. It's fun to make fun of wombats.
4. Cuddy has great cleavage.
5. Beepers are the noises of bad news!
6. Only ducklings and Wilson wear lab coats.
7. Last chance is the charm!
8. House can't cook.
9. If you dry-swallow Vicodin, it won't get stuck in your throat.
10. Inspiration comes from the weirdest places.
11. Catheters can help solve certain problems.
12. You can see music.
13. It's okay to break into someone's house, so long as you're doing it to get medical information.
14. Chase only agrees with Cameron because 'he doesn't want to lose his all-access pass to her love rug'.
15. Even if you're crippled, it's still entirely possible to drive a motorcycle.
16. A policeman dressed in blue is friend of me and you, but not of House.
17. Dr. Stacey Warner is a sucker for crippled guys.
18. Cuddy can angst, too.
19. Twenty minutes left in the show is a great time for something bad to happen.
20. Twenty minutes into the show is also a great time for something bad to happen!
21. Which brings us to our next conclusion: patients are easiest to save when they're near death.