Author's Notes: I do not own the characters of G.I. Joe or X-Men Evolution! They are the sole, respective property of Hasbro and Marvel Comics. The character Jake Clawson (aka Razor) is a character from SWAT Kats and is the property of Hanna-Barbera. The universe of the Misfit and all characters including Althea, Blind Master, Lina, Xi, and Trinity are all property of gifted writer, Red Witch! I own the character Justin Moore (aka Whitelighter). I have credited everyone and their respective creations, so please for the love of God, don't sue me! And I would like to say that the opinions and statements made in this story are simply opinions and should not be taken seriously! Anyway, now that it's Friday, I was reading one of Red Witch's fanfics about the Brotherhood TV, and I was wondering what would happen if the X-Men tried something like that. Due to my insanity and overactive imagination, it would probably turn out something like this…
Smile, You're On X-Men TV!
"Scott, please tell me this is a bad dream or a side effect of being tortured from three classes with the New Mutants. Please tell me I'm hallucinating or losing my sanity from being around the other X-Men 24/7. Please tell me my mind snapped," Jean said, nearly pleading as she and Scott looked at the plasma TV flat-screen installed in the wall of one of the hallways as a panel. The Professor decided that the flat-screens installed in multiple points in the Institute grounds would be a fine way to display incoming calls, show the simulations going on in the Danger Room, instantly display any suspicious sightings caught by the security cameras, and not to mention provide an instant, fast, and informative way of passing information and non-telepathic announcements from different parts of the grounds like a monitor telephone.
What the Professor probably didn't intend the monitors to be used for was for broadcasting from the private Institute television signal to display Roberto, Sam, Bobby, Ray, and Remy wearing suits, ties, and at desks like professional newscasters.
"Good afternoon, and welcome to X-Men TV!" Bobby said, grinning like a maniac and hogging the camera, "Mutant news directly from the mansion of the X-Men! And remember our slogan: we report anything because we're bored!"
"Scott, please tell me I've somehow stumbled in another universe," Jean groaned as she tried another possibility, not sure whether to be exasperated or annoyed or amused.
"No, and you're really reaching with that one, Jean," Scott said, raising an eyebrow as he and Jean quickly made headway towards the X-Mansion. Jean gave a defensive pout.
"Hey, judging our past history of craziness and madcap destruction, it's not that impossible!" Jean retorted as they hurriedly strode through the front door and into the living room where the rest of the X-Men along with the Professor, Ororo, Hank, and Jake Clawson were gathered in the background as a standing audience, watching the newscast live in the large chamber. Even Lockheed was present. Logan, surprisingly, was not.
Upon a closer inspection of the room, Jean and Scott could see how the five male X-Men members set up the quarters as their own newscast front desk. All the furniture of the living room has been cleared away and pushed to one side away from the camera while a long desk was put in the middle of the wide space, large enough to seat all five of them, the wooden table covered neatly with a white tablecloth to hide the numerous scratches and scorch marks on the gilded surface (Lockheed's marking of territory). The walls were covered with green cloth to amplify the figures of the five boys sitting at the desk, illuminated by two powerful flood-lamps that beamed down on them from the rafters of the living room. And right in front of the X-Men, filming the entire program were two large and complex tripod-cameras, being manned by Jamie and Kurt of all people.
"Before I start hyperventilating and pulling my hair out by the roots, can someone please explain to me what's going on?" Jean asked as sweetly as she could despite the fact that her fatigue and exasperation caused her teeth to clench on side of her jaw.
"Well, Sam and Bobby and the others asked the Professor if they could do a little news report program to spread current events of the X-Mansion throughout the school, and not to mention use it as a way to keep things interesting since we are confined to the mansion's grounds. And Bobby's the head anchor in this since it's his idea originally," Amara explained.
"And since it seemed like a harmless project, I saw no reason why not," the Professor replied in a cheerful tone, "Who knows? Perhaps such activity could give us some enjoyment and encouragement amongst the other students, sort of like a pep rally, if you will, Jean."
"I still don't understand the allure and fascination over these things you call pep rallies," Rina pointed out, her face showing befuddlement as she watched this amongst the sidelines, "From what I can see, it seems nothing more than a chance for a person to make complete fools of themselves in front of an audience to get some attention."
"You have learned much, Rina," nodded Rogue, smiling at the obvious statement.
"Oh will you like quit being so pessimistic, Rogue?" Kitty scolded in defense of Bobby and the other New Mutant boys, "I think it's like totally sweet that they're doing an entertainment show to perk up TV. After seeing like nothing but totally bogus shows about the Friends of Humanity and anything anti-mutant like 24-7, this is actually like really nice to see!"
"But why are you letting Kurt and Jamie man the cameras?" Scott asked.
"Well, they were very insistent about being a part of this," Ororo admitted, "And you know how Jamie still desires to follow his dream of being a director. And this seems quite harmless enough for Kurt and Jamie to participate in."
"Storm, remember when Jamie tried running a newspaper circulation based on the Institute's activities?" Rogue said dryly and without a hint of amusement at the memory, "This is going to be on the same level as that fiasco…I just know it."
"But how did you guys manage to hook this video feed to the Institute's television network?" Jean asked.
"Simple, I just managed to build a small temporary console in the corner of the living room that takes in the signal from Kurt and Jamie's camera shots and spliced the signal into the machine which sends the information digitally into the Institute's private frequency, allowing us to broadcast it here only in the X-Mansion. I showed Bobby how to use it after I built it and before he and the other guys went on the air. So right now, anything Kurt and Jamie film, we'll see it on the Institute's TV signal, and that's it," Forge said.
"And Wolverine knows about this? And allowed it?" Scott asked, still shocked.
"Why do you think he took off for the bars when Bobby and the others started setting up this morning?" Tabitha grinned, "For some reason, the Badger wanted to avoid the headaches to come, saying he knows this is gonna end in a disaster, so he wants to be good and sloshed when it happens. Besides, anything that keeps the kids preoccupied and gives him some time alone and away from us is all right by him, as he puts it."
"Smart man," Scott had to admit as the live news continued.
"And now, here to report important announcements from the Institute staff and students is our correspondent, the country farm-boy from good ol' Kentucky, here's Sam 'Cannonball' Guthrie!" Bobby introduced as Kurt focused the camera on a smiling Sam with slick, combed hair and wearing a tweed suit.
Sam smiled as he turned to face the camera, oozing with country-boy home charm in his Southern voice as he said, "Thanks, Bobby. On to announcements: we're happy ta' report that we're now down to five lawsuits this week, a new lowest record for the X-Men ever!"
"Why is it deep down, I get the feeling that this is the invitation for Fate to stick it to us again with a chance to raise that number?" Piotr asked clandestinely to no one in particular.
"You too, huh?" Scott said, deadpanned, "This is exactly as if we're asking for it."
"And now, on to a special report of the Danger Room schedule," Sam continued, "To all the X-Men and New Mutants, our very own drill instructor and personal sadist, Mr. Wolverine, will be runnin' the Level 13 War-Zone simulation on Tuesday, complete with the electrified moats and homing missiles, so be sure ta' fake being sick on that day and ditch. However, y'all may not want to miss the following Thursday's Danger Room session, as that'll be a relaxing period for us to participate in Mutant Dodgeball! Skip the death and bruising on Tuesday and stay for the fun and goofing off on Thursday!"
"You know, I'm beginning to see the use of this X-Men TV. This is good to know," chuckled Tabitha.
"I cannot understand why the rest of you X-Men are such whiny weaklings," scoffed Rina, crossing her arms irately over her chest, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with practicing our skills as a synchronous and effective team under a mere death-simulation. And unlike the rest of you, I am quite eager to try out the Delta-Projectile simulation Robin from the Teen Titans had sent to us to program into our Danger Room."
Scott nodded at X23 appreciatively as he said, "Exactly! See, why can't you all be more like Rina here?"
"Do you want a list, Scott?" quipped Kurt from behind the camera, and the blue-furred mutant winced and hurriedly apologized, smiling awkwardly, as Rina glared at Nightcrawler and raised a clawed fist menacingly.
"Ummm…aren't they forgetting that once Mr. Logan sees this, he'll catch on and immediately switch the schedule so that Thursday will be the Level 13 Danger Room War-Zone and Tuesday will be the dodge-ball day? Or just simply force us to do Tuesday's Danger room session under the threat of death and probation if we try to miss it?" Amara had to ask.
"We planned that one, Amara," Jamie giggled behind the camera, "This is a case of reverse psychology. When Mr. Logan sees this, he'll try to outsmart us and switch the schedule, expecting us to miss the dodgeball day and show up for Thursday's rude surprise of going through the war-zone simulation. But Wolverine doesn't know that we know and that we'll be counting on him to play directly into our hands, just as we predicted. So he'll be all surprised when he finds out that even switching the Tuesday and Thursday exercises won't be enough to cause us to miss the easy simulation and miss out on the hard one. Once Wolverine sees this, he'll be putty in our hands and we'll anticipate exactly what he's gonna do, courtesy of reverse psychology."
"Either dear Logan is losing his touch or the kids are getting smarter," Hank groaned.
Sam continued as he looked at the camera in a professional manner.
"Also, a warning tonight: Kitty will be making lunch tomorrow with her famous vegetable frittatas and taquitos."
On the nearby monitors, the X-Men could see the image of a map pixilated and displayed on the right side of Cannonball, displaying an plot of the nearby cities around Bayville with several red X's and a list of five restaurants and their addresses.
"Here is a list of the mutant-friendly or at least somewhat friendly restaurants here in Bayville and around the town, including this one biker bar that surprisingly serves great hot wings and root beer floats that Fred Dukes recommended where the Brotherhood always hung out at before! Residents of the X-Mansion are highly advised to make a break for it to these nearby locations immediately when Shadowcat starts working in the kitchen. If you ignore this safety announcement, be prepared to eat her cooking at your own risk."
"HEY!" yelled an affronted Kitty in the background.
"Danke for the public service announcements! God bless the public health officials!" Kurt cheered in an overly dramatic voice.
"Like shut up, Kurt!" Kitty yelled, "My cooking is like not that bad! Starfire likes it! She thinks I'm the best cook ever!"
"Considering that she's an alien who eats cuisines that are actually more disgusting than yours, that's not saying much, Kitty," Jean pointed out. Kitty stuck her tongue out as a weak rebuttal.
Sam then said on the camera, "However, if you do plan to eat her cooking, be sure to save some of it to use for later so that we can 'mysteriously' get sick from a sudden case of food poisoning and force Mr. Logan to allow us to skip class, chores and the Danger Room sessions!"
"Hank, I think it's safe to say that the children are certainly getting smarter," Ororo sighed, addressing Beast's earlier observation.
"Sam has a point," Rina said as she glared at Kitty, "Ever since the day we tried that corn-and-turnip dumpling soup of hers, my healing factor hasn't been the same since."
"Et tú, Rina?" Kitty asked, deadpanned and not the slightest amused. Piotr, feeling the need to fulfill his role of the encouraging and warm boyfriend, leaned over and wrapped his brawny arms around her petite waist, giving Kitty a small hug from behind.
"Don't let them get to you, Kitty," he said warmly, squeezing her with reassurance, "I can never say anything bad about you or your cooking skills."
Kitty smiled brightly as she said, "Great! Then I'll be sure to save you an extra-large portion of my frittatas and taquitos when I cook lunch tomorrow!"
Piotr then suddenly, to the smug amusements of the neighboring students and unbeknownst to Kitty, suddenly looked incredibly regretful at opening his big mouth as he grimaced. Sam, meanwhile, was concluding his segment.
"And now, we go live to Roberto 'Sunspot' DaCosta who's now reportin' events outside the Mansion, keeping us with the current news of other superheroes! Take it away, Roberto!"
Roberto smiled in his black tie and suit as he looked over his notes and reported, while Jamie focused the camera on the Brazilian mutant. The rest of the students and faculty could see a picture appear on the screen, this time showing a quite disturbing picture of a terrified Beast Boy running for his life from a very angry Starfire, her narrowed eyes glowing and her teeth bared like a snarling animal.
"Thanks Sam," Roberto said easily, "An unfortunate event occurred today in Jump City when Beast Boy of the Teen Titans accidentally tried to season Starfire's alien cuisine called 'quarf'. Apparently, according to testimony of Beast Boy, the only difference between making an alien dish and an alien dish explode like dynamite and catch fire is an extra bottle of wine and vinegar. The kitchen only received moderate damage while, tragically, the same could not be said for Beast Boy once Starfire got a hold of him. However, good news say that Gar will recover and leave the intensive care of the Titans Towers as early as tomorrow, and coincidentally, did you know there are exactly 2,759 swear words in the Tamaranean language?"
"And you say that we can't learn anything important from television," Forge quipped at Hank and the Professor. Both adults just rolled their eyes at each other but didn't bother to respond. Roberto continued.
"Also, in correlation to the Teen Titans, an anonymous source from the Titans Tower over in Steel City has sent us pictures regarding a small lab explosion. Though no one was hurt, our informant has indicated that Aqualad and Mas y Menos will remain a good, healthy pink and polka-dot orange for at least a week. Now here at X-Men TV, we respect the privacy of any individual and make sure to treat all our friends with the proper respect and not to laugh at their misfortunes. So be sure to call 1-800-555-HAHA to contact us directly to order and purchase photo copies of the hilarious accident and the aftermath of the explosion. If you call now, we'll even include a photo of Aqualad being bald from where the acid ate away at his hair! Call now for a set of five pictures for twenty bucks!"
"Was it too much to hope that for a moment I actually believed that Roberto was going to be dignified at his news report?" the Professor asked wearily, nearly groaning.
"Not with our resident little hooligans, Charles, not with our resident hooligans," Ororo replied a bit wearily.
"You know, technically, he said we wouldn't laugh at their misfortunes. He never said anything about not making a profit from it," Tabitha grinned.
"Also, we have managed to gain a video from Trinity of Pietro being caught in a delicate situation with Batgirl and Supergirl. From what we could deduce, Quicksilver was caught selling a few personal items of the two Justice League members on E-Bay without the two aforementioned girls' consent. We must warn that what you about to see is incredibly violent and bloody and graphic and not suitable for minors…so be sure to pay close attention!"
"Ooooh, that looked like it hurt," winced Piotr as he and the others saw a clip of Batgirl and Supergirl pounding a screaming Pietro to the ground, with the Misfit shrieking in a falsetto tone that could make Nathan Lane wince, "Wow, did you see what Batgirl did with Pietro's laptop? I'm surprised she managed to fit it up there!"
"You know, I'm staring to appreciate Batgirl and Supergirl even more now," Jean smiled to herself, "Wow, dragging Quicksilver by the hair really gets results! I have to try that the next time that little smart-alec tries something to annoy us next time."
"If you wish to order copies of this video in its full and gory entirety, each tape cassette shall cost fifteen dollars and DVD/CD copies shall cost twenty. Dial 1-800-555-HAHA, and our automated voice message system will immediately notify us of your request," Roberto clarified as the telephone number flashed in white letters at the bottom of the screen of the television.
"Jean…" Rogue drawled meaningfully with interest.
"Already ordering a copy as we speak, Rogue. Shall I get the cassette or the DVD?" Jean remarked idly as she punched in the number on her cell-phone.
"Get both, and be sure to order at least ten copies of each," Scott cackled uncharacteristically.
"You're still mad at Pietro placing the poison oak in your underwear last month, aren't you?" Piotr asked.
"Oh for goddess' sake, give me that phone!" Ororo chastised sternly as she snatched the cell from Jean's hands, "Really, I'm ashamed at all of you, enjoying the suffering of Pietro's misfortune at his expense! X-Men are not vindictive and we do not lower ourselves to the shenanigans and get-rich-quick schemes that the Joes and Misfits would probably consort to, so quit this and behave right now!"
"And now to the daily life of the soldiers of G.I. Joe. We have video footage of the disastrous date between Low Light and Cover Girl over at the Pecan Carnival in southern Georgia, thanks to the flying spy-cameras that Forge developed…" Roberto announced, and the audience looked on intently as the monitors now displayed video footage of Cover Girl and Low Light. It was nighttime, and the two Joe soldiers were sitting in an elegantly-shaped swan boat in one of the carnival's rides, the vessel slowly drifting serenely into a heart-shaped opening labeled "The Tunnel of Love". Cover Girl and Low Light were holding hands, and Courtney was leaning her head on the sniper's broad shoulder.
"Isn't this romantic?" Cover Girl was heard sighing in the video as she and her boyfriend submerged into the shadowy dimness of the tunnel and despite the hover camera following them, the X-Men could still perfectly hear every word, "A starry night, alone, no kids tagging along cause they're on a mission, in the midst of a circus of fun and relaxing, nothing to do but goof off…"
"Yeah…" Low Light murmured in content, and then the teenagers could hear some scuffling.
"Oh wow, you're frisky, Cooper," Cover Girl was heard giggling in the darkness.
"OK, now this video's getting hot!" whooped Jamie from behind the camera.
"Oh my stars and garters, you're displaying a make-out session?" exclaimed Hank in indignation. Roberto and Bobby smiled.
"Not exactly, Beast. Just keep watching…" Bobby grinned. The X-Men just watched on with a mixture of fascination and disgust as they heard the private moment getting more and more wild.
"Oh, Low Light!" moaned Cover Girl in the darkness as the sounds of heavy smooching was made apparent, "This is a side of you I've never seen before! Oh, stop being so much in a rush! I saw a janitor's closet nearby, so get your fingers off my bra strap and just kiss me now, you big loveable lug, you! We can do it later!"
"Uh…Cover Girl?" Low light was heard in a shocked and in a budding, angered tone in the darkness, "You're not kissing me. That's not me! You kissing the wrong guy!"
Courtney made a small gasp and noise of confused surprise.
"Wait a minute!" Cover Girl said in a dreading and befuddled tone, "If I'm not kissing you, then who the hell is this?"
The swan boat passed underneath a lamp in the tunnel, flooding the area of water around them to reveal…and dumbly grinning and devious Wally West, wearing his traditional red Flash costume and holding a rather disheveled Cover Girl in his muscular arms.
"Surprise, honey!" the Flash growled seductively.
"WALLY?" roared Low Light from behind in outrage.
"FLASH?" Cover Girl was heard shrieking in rage before she then realized who she was making out with, and immediately, the female Joe started retching as she leaned over the side of the swan boat and heaved. Wally, on the other hand, was stupidly grinning like a maniac.
"Wow, what a woman! I can't believe I just French-kissed Cover Girl!" Wally sighed right before Low Light jumped on him and began pummeling the Justice League member.
"DIE, YOU LITTLE RED SON OF A BITCH!" Low Light bellowed at the top of his lungs.
"LOW LIGHT, NO! I'LL KILL HIM!" Cover Girl was heard screaming in fury as she ripped the head of the swan-boat and started whacking Wally on the head with it while Low Light was doing his best to break Flash's neck. That was the last the X-Men could see before the boat went into the darkness again, but they could hear the senseless beating nonetheless.
"You know, this might explain why Toad mentioned something in his e-mail about Cover Girl and Low Light needing to go to the Watchtower to make some sort of apology to the Justice League," Kurt said in a wry tone as the room was filled with the sounds of Flash's bloodcurdling screams of agony from the footage.
"What? Why should they apologize? Cover Girl is the one who should be mad!" Tabitha protested, her hands on her hips.
"Don't feel too bad for Cover Girl, Tabby. Toad e-mailed me to show me the pictures of Cover Girl attempting to smother Wally with a pillow while he was in the infirmary. From what I was told, the Flash made some crack about wanting Cover Girl to be his personal nurse and giving him a sponge bath," Kurt grinned.
"Needless to say, the carnival administrators were a bit puzzled when the waters of the Tunnel of Love ride turned slightly red immediately afterwards," Roberto said, trying his best not to smile, "We'd show you the gruesome details, but a representative from the FCC advised us that the scene of the brawl would receive of rating of at least NC-55. But our operators are standing by for orders of the grisly footage. Call 1-800-555-HAHA."
Ororo, after a brief moment of hesitation, handed the phone back to Jean, saying, "Order a copy of these videos of Flash along with yours."
"Storm!" Scott, Piotr, Jean and Kitty exclaimed in surprise. The weather-witch held up her hands in defense.
"This is entirely different," she stoutly retorted.
"And now, to our resident doctor and connoisseur of love and matters of the heart, here's our mutant version on Dear Abby, here's Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau!"
"Just call Remy, Dr. Love, oui, mis cheries?" the Cajun X-Men grinned, a sexy, devilish grin on his face as the camera zoomed on the young man's face, "Merde! Monsieur Kurt, be sure to get Remy's good side!"
"Someone's ego needs a little deflating," Kurt muttered under his breath as he focused the camera on Gambit as the X-Man delivered his report.
"Is it like just me or is he like being a little more heavy on his French accent? More than usual, I mean," Kitty pointed out.
"I'm beginning to see why Remy was so eager to join in this idiot circle," Rogue commented none too gently, but she was shushed by Ororo and Amara as the Cajun began his commentary.
"Ah, welcome and bonjour, mon ami, to a round of advice from Dr. Remy," Remy drawled seductively, "Here, Remy give you fellow hommes the real deal about the femmes, no? Ever feel confused about the opposite gender? Do you ever feel like you want to understand women but just can't? Do you ever wonder how to get into a chere's head and figure out what she really means and why her 'yes' is 'no' and her 'no' is 'yes'? Well, despair no more, fellow suffering men of the world! Remy LeBeau is here with the answers, for he is God's gift and expert on women, no?"
"OK, if that's not slander, I don't know what is," Jamie muttered.
"Took the words right outta my mouth, Multiple," Rogue grumbled to herself.
"For instance, do you ever wonder why the femmes need so much time in the bathroom and needin' to put on make-up?" Remy continued, "Well, Remy say to not worry about it cause it is just their way, no? Women need the time to make themselves look beautiful, to make themselves the goddesses they deserve to be, adulated by a crowd of adoring suitors, waitin' to serve them hand and foot. Rule of thumb, hommes: a femme makes herself pretty for herself, for her well-being. Any woman who dresses up and makes herself glamorous is so that she can boost up her self-image and feels good about herself. It's only a side benefit when the men appreciate her beauty as well."
"Boy what a crock!" snorted Amara disdainfully, "That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard! Gambit doesn't know anything!"
Remy then smiled as a picture appeared on the monitor, adding, "Besides, my brothers, what's more painful? Waitin' for the femme to dress herself all pretty-like for your sake or wakin' up to this?"
There was a collective shriek of rage from Tabitha and Rina as the teenagers and adults recognized the picture. It was an image of a very tussled and disheveled Boom-Boom and X23, having just gotten out of bed and early in the morning for the Danger Room. Even though it was taken into account that the two girls had just gotten out of bed and from a peaceful sleep, describing them as "grotesque" didn't even cover the ugliness of the picture. Both Rina and Tabitha had very messy bed-hair, making their tresses seem like a tangled, dirty bunch of brambles. With bags under their eyes, their faces saggy and with lines, flaccid and without a smear of blush or moisturizing cream, both the X-Girls could have appeared as zombie stunt doubles for the movie, "Night of the Living Dead". And to make the image even less appealing, Tabitha was yawning and brushing her teeth, slack jawed, while scratching herself ,and Rina was shaving her armpits.
"Eeeeeeeewwwwww!" Jamie cringed, "You're right! I definitely don't want to wake up to that in the morning! Yuck!"
Sam whirled angrily to Roberto at the sight.
"I was told that this photo wouldn't be used for this segment!" Sam growled dangerously.
"I lied," Roberto grinned easily.
"I told you I heard a camera shutterbug on that day!" Rina snapped at Tabitha in the background, "I told you I could hear someone taking pictures while we were in the bathroom, but noooooooooo, you said!"
"Roberto, when this is all over with, you are so dead!" Tabitha growled. Remy continued despite the confrontation and ugly argument.
"Here's another rule of thumb, my fellow brothers. Women may always complain about our behavior when we get all rowdy and roughhouse, but secretly, women can act just as silly and stupid as we do, mon amis! Take my cherie for example with this video footage we got from her room. Isn't she cute, singing her little heart out?"
Immediately, the X-Men saw a video clip on the TV showing Rogue dancing and sashaying a bit in front of her bedroom mirror, holding a hairbrush in her hand like a microphone while singing a very familiar and embarrassing cartoon song…
"We got the style, and we've got the flair! Look all ya' want, just don't touch the hair! We are the Winx, we are the Winx, we are the Winx, come join the club! We are the Winx…!" Rogue sang, oblivious, in the clip.
Rogue felt her face burn with embarrassment and anger as everyone started laughing their heads off, and in Jean and Kitty's cases, were literally rolling the floor, coughing up their lungs in side-splitting mirth.
"I…am going…kill Remy," Rogue hissed, her left eye twitching, "Yeah, the swamp rat deserves to die. I don't know how, and I don't know when, but I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him."
"Look on the bright side, Rogue," cackled Forge, holding his sides, "At least only the Mansion knows about this and no one else."
"And now to Dr. Remy's love weekly love poll," Remy continued, "Our most intriguing question on the latest pairing possibility at the X-Mansion! Will Shipwreck ever hook up with Storm?"
"WHAT?" yelled Ororo upon hearing this, her hands twitching with annoyance before she then deftly yelled, "Pay no attention to the Cajun phony! He has absolutely no idea what he is talking about!"
Remy continued, "Though a few predict that our resident weather-witch will hook up with the sailor from G.I. Joe, they are, Remy is afraid to say, only a small percentage. In fact, a recent poll of the femmes and hommes of the Institute show that a grand seventy-two percent say that Storm will never fall in love with Shipwreck. In fact, one home said, and Remy quote: 'Stars and garters, the day Ororo will be infatuated with that army nitwit will be the day the Horsemen of the Apocalypse come bearing down from the heavens! Ms. Monroe deserves a fine gentleman who is a lot better than that!'."
Everyone turned to look at Beast who was blushing furiously.
"You cannot prove that I have said that statement," Hank heatedly retorted. The other X-Men just raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Ororo, if anything, looked a bit flattered as she blushed in return.
"And if you hommes should ever feel that you need a little extra help in wooing a chere, flowers and jewelry and adoring infatuation aside, Remy recommend that you try a little magic, oui? Just repeat these words while thinking of your femme, and she'll be in love with you in no time flat! Just say this: Bless me true love, my spirit whole, send me the one destined as my mate in soul…" Remy said.
"Didn't he get that off that totally bogus Wicca spell-book you bought at Amazon for like five bucks? The one you said only like a complete moron would buy into?" Kitty asked, frowning at the recollection as she turned to Rogue.
"And from what I'm seeing right now, I'm sticking to that statement," Rogue clarified in an annoyed and exasperated voice.
"What utter rubbish!" scoffed Hank loudly, "To think that a complex emotion based on mental attraction and biological pheromones could simply be manipulated by a few choice verses!"
No one noticed Hank then furiously scribble Remy's love spell on a pad of paper later when their heads were turned.
"And on a final note, it is time to find amour for some lonely homme's life, courtesy of Dr. Remy, the champion and messenger of love, oui?" The Cajun X-Man grinned slyly.
"I smell a gnarly malpractice suit in the near future," Forge groaned at the shameless self-appointed accolade.
"Chances are, let's hope it happens before Rogue kills him," Piotr whispered out of the corner of mouth as he and the inventor then noticed Rogue cracking her knuckles with a dark look on her face.
"Here is the part where a lonely yet well-deserving homme, looking for love, comes to Gambit, the soldier and champion of amour! It is the mission of Remy to find love for any fellow brother, wherever he may be! Unfortunately, since paying for a hooker was completely out of the question, Remy did the next best thing. Femmes, meet a fellow bachelor of the X-Mansion, our resident mechanic Jake Clawson! But don't be droolin' too long femmes at this potential boyfriend! Remy thinks that he'll be picked up faster than you can dial that phone!"
The TV screen then showed a photograph of Jake, standing on a ladder while fixing the motors of the Blackbird jet over his head. The kat was completely shirtless with his red baseball cap worn backwards, his fur over his muscles glistening with sweat while he was hard at his automotive labor, and his face was stained with black, grease marks. To tell the truth, the sight of the handsome and shirtless kat was making some of the single females, Amara and Ororo especially, gawk a bit. Jake felt his face grow hot underneath his fur as he hid his face in his claws, moaning. Rogue gave the kat instructor a look of disbelief.
"Let me get this straight," she said slowly, as if the thought of it was inconceivable, "Out of all the idiots in the Institute, you asked the swamp rat for love advice?"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time, considering he's the mansion's number one charmer. But when Gambit said he would help me find some love in my life, I didn't think he'd mean it this way…and not to mention I think he's looking for me in the wrong place," Razor griped good-naturedly.
"Hey, what can we say, Razor?" laughed Kurt, "Gambit's trying to do you a favor! After all, chicks dig the fuzzy dudes!"
Razor raised an eyebrow at Kurt as he bit his tongue and thought, Oh, if you only knew the irony in that statement, Kurt…
"And now, mon amis, to our resident Ray 'the Bezerker' Crisp, who'll give us his daily reviews on entertainment!" Remy concluded, noting with some unease, the murderous looks Rogue, Rina, and Tabitha were throwing at him from the background. Ray smiled in his gray suit and red tie as Jamie zoomed out a bit to cover Ray's profile. The red-and-yellow electrokinetic smiled warmly as he began his report without the slightest hint of stage fright.
"Tonight, I'm going to talk about the latest video games and movies, here in Ray's 'Entertainment Tonight'!" the mutant teen said animatedly, "Despite the growing number of anti-mutant sentiment and feelings in both movies and video games worldwide, you can surprisingly find one or two gems out there! One example is World of Warcraft, a masterpiece! One where you can spends hours, days, even weeks of playing nonstop at your computer, building up your character and going on quests! And the best part is that since your profile on-line is anonymous and no one can tell you're a mutant, you can just mingle in with the rest of the character communities and guilds! It's fantasy and real life all at your keyboard! It's totally worth it! Unfortunately, there's a ban on World of Warcraft here in the Institute since the Professor found out we charged it to his credit card…"
"Charged it?" Ororo wondered out loud before she turned to Professor Xavier, "Charles, wasn't that the time when we started getting your credit card bills delivered by freight carriers since the amount of paper it would take to print your statements weighed in by the ton?"
"They played that much?" Scott asked, his eyes popping.
"And cost me enough to make the Blizzard Corporation very avid mutant supporters, or at least appreciative of their best customers here at the Mansion," Xavier said sourly at the memory of how much he went into conniptions when he got the first and only credit card bill.
"However, there's plenty of other games as well, like this new 'Mario Kart: Double Dash', perfect for party of four or more, especially here at our mansion! And despite the initial look of appearing boring, unexciting, and childish, it's actually a really fun game too, even though some characters are more cheap than others."
"Peach and Daisy are like not cheap, Ray!" Kitty snapped from the background behind the cameras, "Just like totally admit that I won that last race fair and square!"
"I would have won that prix if your stupid, cheap heart-specialty attack didn't reflect my fireballs back at me!" Ray snapped back, his temper flaring.
"Oh, like get over it!" Kitty growled, "Peach and Daisy's attack is like totally legal! And you're like forgetting that it's only defensive, not offensive! Thus, it's like totally has its drawbacks considering I can't attack with it!"
"It's super-defensive and cheap, that's what it is!" Ray yelled, making a small space between his thumb and forefinger, "I was this close to winning the tournament and being the all-time Mario Kart champion of the X-Mansion! I even beat the previously unstoppable Jamie, for crying out loud! And then you had to come in and steal my thunder by throwing my fireballs back at me when I sent them at you!" (Author's Notes)
"Oh, like, just don't throw stuff at me and just totally concentrate on running your race like how you like totally run that fat mouth of yours! Just continue on with your dumb movie review and like accept the fact that a girl beat you at video games!" Kitty shot back snidely.
"Shouldn't we stop this? This is getting pretty petty, fighting over a video game," Scott groaned as the heated jabber and snipes continued. Jamie shook his head as he focused his camera on the bickering two.
"Are you kidding, Scott?" Multiple chortled at Ray's purple face, "This argument's more entertaining than the actual review! I haven't seen Ray this mad since Mr. McCoy beat him at 'Super Smash Bros. Melee'!"
Ray then got a very vindictive and rancorous look on his face as he said, "Oh, you wanna starting making it ugly, huh, Kitty? Well, then try saying hello to a little picture we got of you and the other X-Girls in the locker rooms…"
At this, the TV monitors changed to show a photo of Jean, Kitty, and Amara in their underwear as they were getting ready to switch into their X-Men uniforms for a daily routine in the Danger Room. Amara, Kitty, and Jean were none too pleased while some of the others started hooting, most notably, Remy, Bobby, and Kurt.
"You pervert!" Amara yelled, completely humiliated as her face turned red.
"Raymond Crisp, you are in so much trouble once we turn those cameras off!" Jean yelled, calling her teammate by his full name to let him know she was incredibly ticked off.
"Uh…could I have a copy of that photo?" Piotr asked dumbly, and instantly, Amara, Jean, Kitty, and Scott whirled on the Russian.
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, PETER!" all four of them hollered insistently. Bezerker just waved the three angry girls off.
"Oh, don't get your panties in a twist, so to speak," Ray laughed, "It's all in good fun! And besides, it's on the Institute's network! No one else is watching this except us X-Men, so it's not like the whole world is watching this stuff."
"Still, it was a low blow, you asswipe!" Amara growled, at least taking solace that Ray had a good point, but Ray shrugged it off.
"And now, to end our session, we turn to Bobby 'Iceman' Drake for our segment called: 'Why the X-Men are better than the Misfits'! Take it away, Bobby!" Ray concluded.
Piotr's eyes rose a bit in surprised approval as he remarked, "All right, now it's getting good!"
"Peter!" Kitty scolded.
"Actually, I'll have to agree with Peter on this one, Kitty," Scott remarked as the bashing began with Bobby smiling like a proverbial cat that had just caught and swallowed the mouse.
"Yes, people, here at the Institute, it's a general fact that the X-Men are much better heroes than the Misfits, and in our daily editorial, you'll find out why!" Bobby said in a passionate and mischievous voice. The Professor groaned as he cradled his head in his hands.
"I sense that if the Joes ever find out about this, our relationship with them will go several steps backwards," the mentor sighed, "I try to teach them tolerance and acceptance of the Misfits, and what do they do? Turn this into a completely, one-sided character-bashing festival."
"If the Joes ever find out about this, Charles…which happens to be a pretty big 'if' when you think about it," Beast pointed out. Meanwhile, Bobby was ranting on.
"Reason number one: the X-Men are the more powerful and efficient fighters! I mean, c'mon! It's completely obvious that we're the team who actually has the better mutant abilities, and not lame ones like genetic code reading or eating flies or standing around like some slow, fat, useless punching bag! Every one of us could run circles around the Misfits in the Danger Room! The Misfits weren't any good at fighting when they were the Brotherhood, and the only time they were able to win a battle or two was when they had Wanda fight for them at Bayville Mall! Am I right?"
"I'm not sure this is a good idea, Kurt," mumbled Jamie as they watched on, "You know this is kind of like tempting fate…"
"Ah, what's the worst that could happen?" Scott shrugged off as there were some murmurs of consent among the people in the background, "It's all general fun, and the Misfits make fun of us all the time, so there's really no reason why we can't get in a barb or two."
"Reason number two: we're more mature when it comes to crises all over the world! We've handled big baddies like Magneto, Juggernaut, the Apocalypse, the Acolytes, Dark Kat's Invincible Alliance of Evil, and other stuff without goofing off or messing things up! When it comes to the team that's the more serious and mature, the people you know will get the job done, it's the X-Men you can count on! We're the ones who help out the world the most, cause the least destruction, and if the chips are down, you know the X-Men will always be there and never bail out!" Bobby declared.
"Says the teenager who took the X-Jet out on a joyride…and the person who got the rest of us drunk when the adults were gone," muttered Tabitha. Bobby then shot his third and most superficial point.
"And finally, we're the probably the better looking team as well," and with this, Bobby flashed a cheesy and flashy grin as a picture came up on the TV screen next to him, the pixilated images displayed for all to see, "I mean, besides the fact that we're a lot more attractive and we've got the cooler costumes! Anything with an 'X' affiliated with it is the rage of the year! It's what's cool! It's what differentiates the real winners from the usual losers! Like this picture of the mutant Misfit, Avalanche…"
The X-Men then saw that it was a realistic and skillful drawing of Lance, except that his head was superimposed on the body of a donkey, complete with buck teeth, long ears, and the typical four-legged physique of a jackass. Scott had to chuckle at the caricature, while Kitty, guessing who drew the image, whirled angrily on Piotr.
"Peter, did you draw this?" she growled, and the brawny X-Man held up his hands in defense as he backed away slightly from Shadowcat's withering gaze.
"It was just a joke, a drawing Bobby thought would be a great addition and prop to use for the X-Men news! I only loaned him an old one I had in my sketchbook!" Colossus explained.
"Well, it's not funny, and it's cruel and vindictive and spiteful, Peter!" Kitty protested.
"Oh come, on, Kitty! Lance and the other Misfits have done worse and insulting things to us than this! Remember when Lance tried making that love potion or when Pietro sold photos of you in your underwear to the National Enquirer? This is tame compared to that! What's there to be upset about?" Piotr shot back, now starting to get annoyed.
"And to further establish my point, who would girls rather go out with?" Bobby smiled as two additional images popped up on the monitor, edited into view of the camera feed, "This…"
And with that, a photo of a devilishly-handsome, in a sort of a rebellious look, Bobby, grinning with carefree emotion in his X-Man uniform while leaning against Logan's motorcycle in the garage, looking almost rugged and adventurous. Bobby's smile grew even wider as he brought up the second picture.
"Or settling for something less like this?" And with that, a photo of Blob, in swim trunks and walking alongside the Joes' swimming pool, messily eating a large submarine sandwich and stuffing his face in came into full view. And Fred was only wearing the swim trunks, so all the X-Men could see pretty much every fold of fat off the Misfit's gelatinous frame. Needless to say, the image wasn't very appealing to the other teenagers and adults when they saw this…
"Oh dear," winced the Professor.
"Oh my," Ororo murmured as she brought a hand to her cheek.
"Oh my God, that is absolutely disgusting!" Jean shrieked as she covered her eyes with her hands, now wondering if she was permanently scarred for life by seeing the image of Blob shirtless. She know knew what she would like erased from her mind should she ever have selective amnesia. And several others like Rogue and Amara were freaking out at the sight as well along with Bobby's co-anchors.
"Aaaaaaahhh! My eyes! My eyes! I'm blind, I'm blind!" Sam howled as he rubbed his upper face vigorously.
Jake gave Bobby a disapproving look as he commented, "Bobby, really, did you have to do this? This…isn't really in good taste."
But before Bobby could answer, by sheer bad timing, the Blob appeared right behind the camera, teleporting into the Mansion via the Mass Device, and furiously lumbered slowly and menacingly up to Bobby, red-faced and eyes twitching. He was not very pleased.
"You are dead meat, Iceman!" he growled, "What's the big idea of putting a picture of me like that on national TV?"
Bobby tried to chuckle weakly as the Misfit loomed over him, "Uh…heh, heh, it was just a joke?"
"You wanna know what I'll find funny, smart-boy? Your head on a stake or your throat in between my hands when I wring your little neck!" Blob roared as he lunged.
"Blob, no!" Jean yelled with authoritative command, coming to Bobby's rescue as she held Blob into place with her telekinesis and several of the others attempted to join in and stop Fred from killing Bobby.
A sudden thought then struck Scott.
"Wait a minute!" Scott yelled over the din, and when everyone paused, the X-Men field leader turned to Blob and asked, "Blob, wait, how could you have seen this at the Pit? This video transmission is on the Institute's personal frequency and network, so only the residents of the Mansion can see this X-Men TV thing!"
Fred had the most peculiar look on his face as he said, "You mean you don't know?"
"Know what?" Jamie asked.
"This is being broadcast all along the East Coast! The Joes picked this up on our TV in the recreation room and the TV over at Misfit Manor! We saw everything, and so did some of our friends in Florida and Washington D.C! Even Serpentor II is getting this in his private signal over at his night club! Mainframe says you guys are showing X-Men TV all throughout the East Coast of the United States! You're filming live right now!"
The color from Ray's face drained as he gasped, "Huh? But…but that's impossible! We're only sending this signal here at the Institute's network! Blob, please tell me you're joking!"
Forge then had a horrible suspicion as he looked at the console in the corner of the living room and the realization struck him as he looked at the settings. Wincing and sure this wasn't going to be well received, the mutant inventor turned to Bobby and asked delicately, "Uh…Bobby? When you were messing with the controls earlier today, why did you set the broadcast signal to the zeta-frequency mode?"
Bobby frowned as he explained, "That's the mode to broadcast our cameras to the Institute, remember? You told me to set the broadband signal to the zeta-setting so that the mansion's satellite could pick this up and display it in our TV network at the Institute."
Forge winced even more in pain as he clarified, "Yes, but you also are sending the TV signal outside the Mansion as well. I told you to set it to the beta signal setting. Beta, as in the second letter of the Greek alphabet, the one that starts with the letter 'b'. The beta setting would be the one that sends the signal solely to the Institute's satellite. But you set it to the zeta setting, as in, the last and highest power. Not only did you send the TV signal to the mansion, but you also put it so that it sent the TV signal to anyone outside the mansion's grounds as well. In other words, setting the console to the zeta-frequency mode sends the TV signal everywhere, and not just the mansion."
"Uh…Forge? Just, how far will this signal get sent?" Rina asked, hissing and with a strange twitch in her eye.
"Like Fred said, probably every TV antenna along the East Coast…" murmured Forge meekly.
"What?" Bobby, Sam, Remy, Ray, and Roberto gasped.
"WHAT?" yelled Jean and the other teenage X-Men, only in a much more dangerous and angry tone.
"Oh dear…" murmured the Professor to himself as he wearily covered his face with his hands as the migraine hit.
"Merde," whimpered Remy to himself, "Remy thinks we are so screwed…"
There was only a tense and nerve-wrecking silence in the room for several seconds as everyone took in the fact that every single moment of the X-Men TV video was shown throughout the East Coast of the United States, displaying every embarrassing moment for every man, woman, and child to see. The silence was so still you could hear a pin drop in the main foyer of the X-Mansion. Jean then a completed about-face as she vindictively released her telekinetic hold on the Blob.
"Fred, I changed my mind! You are free to kill all five of them!"
"And we'll help you!" Rina snarled as she drew out her claws with a blood-curdling shikt.
At this, Sam, Bobby, Ray, Remy, and Roberto did the only thing that came to mind. They bolted for their lives, and Fred and Scott along with the X-Girls joined in on the chase. Roberto, before he fled, hurriedly handed Jake a sheet of paper and motioned for Kurt to film the kat.
"Just read off of it, Jake!" Roberto cried out as he ran for his life, dodging energy blasts and several very angry teammates.
"Um…" Jake stammered a bit before he read off the sheet Roberto handed him, "We would like to publicly announce our sponsors – hey, wait a kat-picking minute, we had sponsors for this dribble?"
"No, but since we're on national TV anyway, it wouldn't hurt to parody this news thing and finish up our routine we planned!"
"And this is a good idea to say on national television?" Hank asked wearily, holding a hand over his face in a grimace.
"Might as well go out with a bang!" Roberto yelped as he dashed past with Tabitha and Lockheed at his heels.
"Oh trust me, DaCosta, you're going off with a big boom!" Tabitha screamed as she let a big plasma-time bomb fly which, not surprisingly, missed its target and caused a smoking hole in the wall. Jake, sighing, continued with some reluctance.
"Brought to you by the restaurant…Lenny's?"
"Denny's!" hissed Jamie from the sidelines, correcting Razor.
Ring, ring!
Ororo answered the phone in the hallway before she winced at the muted noise coming from the earpiece like a boiling and whistling kettle of water on the stove. She then eyed the Professor wearily as an explosion shook the foundation of the X-Men's home.
"It's a representative from the FCC," Ororo exhaled, "We have another lawsuit on our hands, Charles…"
"My personal lawyers are on speed-dial, extension two, Storm," the Professor sighed, wishing he has a nice bottle of aspirin and a tumbler of whiskey right now to ease the pain he was going to go through for the next several months.
"Scott, Amara, I got Ray! You're both free to punch him now!" Jean was heard screaming from the neighboring room, and the other X-Men could hear the shrill and falsetto screams of agony as the sounds of the beating started, echoing and vibrating within the wooden floorboards.
"Also, brought to you by the Disney Corporation, even though we're no longer trying, and Michael Eisner ruined us from our former glory," Jake read off the paper.
Ring, ring!
Ororo switched to conference call.
"It's Michael Eisner on the phone," Ororo grimaced, "We'll be served papers next week…"
"I must admit, Disney is surprisingly quick and efficient…" Hank commented.
"Swamp rat, get back here and take your punishment like the sleaze you are!" Rogue was heard bellowing at the top of her lungs while she dashed after Gambit in the background, swinging the coffee table like an over-sized club, "Show everyone clips of me singing 'The Winx Club' theme song? I'm gonna kill ya', burn ya', and then salt the earth where I buried ya'! You embarrassed me in front of the entire East Coast, ya' retarded swamp-rat! You're gonna be lucky if I only kill you!"
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" the X-Man was heard yelling as he fled for his life, "Save Remy! Save Remy! Oh, for the love of everythin' in the Bayou, save Remy before chere kills him!"
"Also brought to you by Coca-Cola, because we're so much better than Pepsi…" Jake continued.
Ring, ring!
"The CEO and board of the Pepsi Corporation are demanding a conference with mandatory legal representation immediately…" Ororo stated.
"I knew it was too good to be true that the mansion would no longer have any more lawsuits, I just knew it…" complained Xavier with extreme fatigue.
"Drake, prepare to die!" roared Blob as Bobby ran by Jake in the background with the lumbering Misfit hot on his heels.
"Also brought to you by 'Apple Jacks' cereal, which, despite popular opinion, doesn't even remotely taste like apples…"
"Rina, OW!" Sam yelled, "Jamie, will ya' quit filming this and help us! Yeeeeooooowwww! Ow, Rina that hurt!"
"Are you kidding?" Jamie gleefully exclaimed, "With this footage, we'll be able to make video copies of this and sell it for a large profit! Remember folks, if you want to order a video copy of anything shown on X-Men TV, call 1-800-555-HAHA and we'll send you the specified video of your choice. And a copy of the carnage and bloodshed you are seeing right now will cost fifty dollars each!"
"Not funny, Jamie! AAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed Bobby shrilly. Kurt winced.
"Wow, the nuclear wedgie! Blob actually did a nuclear wedgie! And I thought only Wolverine could achieve such a thing!" Nightcrawler marveled with slight admiration. Meanwhile, Kitty and her boyfriend Piotr were heatedly arguing, forgoing any pretense of respectful calmness.
"Like, I can't believe you, Peter!" yelled Kitty, nearly screaming angrily at Piotr in front of the camera, "How could you do such a mean thing to Lance? You just embarrassed him in front of the entire East Coast!"
"Why are you defending that hood? Don't tell me you still have feelings for him!" Piotr rumbled, glaring at the pony-tailed valley girl.
"Don't try changing the subject, Peter!" Kitty yelled, stamping her foot.
"Also finally brought to you by the Fox network: if there's a crappy idea of a TV show, we'll show it, syndication and decency and the number of Nielsen families we screw over be damned. Gee, no surprise there," snorted Jake to himself.
Ring, ring! The Professor picked up the phone this time, having a good idea of who this phone call was coming from.
"Actually, Blob, why aren't the other Misfits with you?" Hank asked as Fred finished his deed on Bobby.
"Lance and Wanda are too busy ordering videos of Pietro getting beat up by Supergirl and Batgirl along with the footage of Jean, Amara, and Kitty in their underwear. Althea, Trinity, Toad, and Xi are actually enjoying watching this garbage, saying it's more interesting than some of the other things on TV nowadays. Pietro is still in his body cast. Justin's still drooling a bit for some reason. And Lina agreed that whatever I do to Bobby will be far worse than anything she could ever come up with."
"I must admit, the ironic part of all this is that some sociologists actually question the link between television and violence," Beast remarked as he winced at Amara who was now literally jumping up and down painfully on Ray's trampled body, the Nova Roma princess now trying to stomp him to the ground.
Kaboom! Another explosion sounded in the air as a few plumes of smoke emerged from the neighboring room, indicating that a fire was quickly spreading.
The Professor then just put down the phone after his brief conversation.
"I just got off the phone with Rupert Murdoch…" he murmured in a dazed voice.
"Let me guess," sighed Jake while the carnage continued in the X-Men's home, "We're being sued by the Fox network too?"
The Professor had the oddest expression of disbelief on his face as he reported, "Actually, they wanted to call to ask us if we'd be interested in doing an entire syndicated season of 'X-Men TV' for them…"
The End
Author's Notes: We actually had an argument over "Mario Kart: Double Dash" on this subject (I kid you not). And hope you guys enjoyed this one-shot because I'm going to take a little longer break this time! The Buffy/Charmed/Misfit crossover will come in three weeks! Yes, you read right! This time, I'll be taking a THREE week break because of real life, personal reasons, and of course, a little mini-vacation. I'll still be available for e-mail, but I need to plan the next crossover a bit! However, I don't think that the X-Men and Misfits and Joes will complain much! Hope you enjoy this fanfic, keep a lookout for the Friday in three weeks, and read and review! Until that Friday, I'll see you soon!