Please don't judge me based on this fic; I just really like snapped Canada. I've said that it's humour but only I could possible find it funny. There are mentions of Franada and USUKUS in this, however they can be easily ignored. There might also be some Giripan, but only if you read between the lines with a magnifying glass. I'm not sure about the rating, but it's better to be safe then sorry.
Disclaimer: I'll have to kill all of the Japanese, and many other people, before I own Hetalia.
Japan opened his door to greet the sandy-haired man standing on his porch.
"Hey Japan, can I borrow your sword?"
Japan was surprised by the strange greeting.
"Certainry America, but be careful." He handed his sword over to the golden-haired man standing in front of him. At once Canada extracted it from its scabbard, raised it high and stabbed Japan through the heart. Japan's eyes rolled back into his head temporarily, before rolling back out again to stare at Canada in shock.
"Prease, America, can you remove the sword from my chest?"
Canada made a low growling sound, realising that as Japan was a nation he couldn't die. Ah well, he thought, I'll have even more time to get revenge. He turned back to his victim and glared at him, his eyes hard.
"I'll only remove it if you say my name is Canada."
"Alright, your name is Canada. Now wourd you prease remove the sword from my chest, America." Japan only realised his mistake when it was too late.
Quick as a flash, Canada pulled the sword out of Japan. Before the gory hole could close up, however, Canada sliced Japan in half from head to toe. He then began to hack chunks off of his arms and legs, exposing ripped flesh and rich red blood. Canada stuck his hands inside Japan's chest and began to remove his individual organs, crushing them in his hands and stamping on them one by one.
When he had had enough he walked away, sword in hand. Slowly Japan started to reform, groaning slightly and wondering what on earth had gotten into America today.
As Canada walked, he imagined all of the gruesome things he was going to do to each country. He turned a corner and ran straight into Greece, who was waiting in the hall for Japan, holding a stray cat.
"Ah, America, have you seen Japan anywhere?"
"You're dead right I've seen Japan." Replied Canada, stabbing Greece in seven different places. Greece just opened his mouth in astonishment. The horrific violence and bloodshed might've gone on for longer if America hadn't burst through the front door at just that moment.
"No, Canadia, stop bro." America grabbed Canada and tried to pull him off of Greece. America was stronger than Canada, however Canada was holding a sword. He raised it high above his head and stabbed straight through America's eye socket into his brain. America fell down on the floor, screaming at the top of his voice.
Japan came running, arriving just as Canada began to hack up Greece again.
"America, prease calm down."
"That's not America, that's Canadia. I'm America." America yelled, panicking slightly. On hearing the misuse of his name, Canada turned on America. Japan at once rushed to Greece's side, safe with the knowledge of America's partial immortality and strength of character.
Canada began to address America as he tortured him.
"My name
Stab
is Canada
Slash
not Canadia
Slice
and I
Hack
am tired
Twist
of paying
Saw
for your
Crush
errors."
Greece had recovered from his injuries. Japan hissed quickly,
"can you hord off Canadia while I call for help? You know who; Engrand, France, Germany and even Russia if needed."
"Yes, but only until America wakes up."
Canada attacked Greece again, hacking and twisting viciously and cruelly with Japan's precious blade, causing flesh mutilations deep inside Greece's body. Greece found himself lying on the floor, Canada standing over him. He suddenly realised that his cat was now let unprotected.
"Please not the kitty. I'll do anything, just please don't harm the kitty."
"Fine, I'll spare the kitty." Canada held no grudges against the tiny animal as of yet.
America had healed, so he began to devise a plan. Normally he would dive straight in, but England had shown him that that wasn't always the best approach. Actually, he and England made a very good team; England doing the planning and America acting on it.
America decided that the best thing to do would be to distract Canada and divert him.
"Hey Canadia, you're actually nothing but my hat."
Canada turned to see his now-healed brother laughing at him. He gave chase, and America began to flee, wondering if his plan was a bad idea after all. Canada chased America all through the streets of Japan, armed with a sword, to the great alarm of the locals.
By the time they returned to Japan's home, Canada was exhausted, but America was still running. Greece crept up behind Canada and slipped the sword out of his hands. When Canada turned to see his attacker, America grabbed him from behind. Canada turned around and tried to fight with America, but America simply pinned his arms behind his back and pushed him to the floor. Greece flung the sword to the floor with a clang.
Soon after, Japan returned, bringing with him all of the countries that had partaken in World WarTwo. They all stood round the trio, shocked.
"So eet eez true. Ma petit Canada has snapped." Said France, looking down at Canada.
"I am not your petit Canada; you don't care about me, you only care about my body. As for you, England, all the time we worked together you pretended that I was America because you couldn't have him." Here Canada indicated to America, who looked astounded. "Now you have him I've ceased to exist in your eyes. America, I've already told you what I think of you. As for the rest of you; you're lucky that I'm too tired to attack you. I order you never to call me America, or even Canadia, again.
"What are we to do with him?" Enquired Greece. The countries fell silent.
Well that was disgusting. I hope you enjoyed it anyway though. I'm probably going to write another chapter and if you don't R&R it'll have Canada killing the kitty. I'd also like to know what the countries should do with him as I'm short on ideas. Thanks for reading.