I do not own Law and Order: Criminal Intent.

Inspired by the animal drawing contests my best friend and I would have during science class back in high school. Random fun ahead.

Passing Time

Knuckles propped up against her cheek, Alex Eames idly surveyed the report laid out in front of her on the plastic tabletop. It was more to waste time than anything else, as she had already memorized most of the typed document. But Deakins and Carver were being particularly slow that afternoon, and all she could do was wait.

"Funny how we're expected to be on time, but they can dawdle as much as they want," muttered Eames.

Robert Goren made a soft sound of acknowledgement, eyes locked on the chart paper hooked to the wall. In his neat scrawl were lists of information they had collected over the past few weeks, from possible motives to the list of suspects to a summary of their progress. It was a decent dent they had made in their latest murder case. But what interested him at the moment was the blank sheet of paper hanging next to the one that held the information. The white space was tempting him to doodle over it.

With nothing better to do, Goren uncapped his black marker and started to draw the first thing that came to mind-the duck he had seen on the drive to work that morning.

The sound of the marker tip against paper caught Eames' attention. She lifted her eyes from their lazy review of the report and locked on her partner. She arched an eyebrow at the animal her partner was attempting to illustrate.

"Why are you drawing a platypus?"

Goren paused and looked over his shoulder, expression offended. "It's a duck!"

Eames' other eyebrow flew up. "You clearly don't know what a duck looks like."

"It looks fine!" defended Goren.

Eames stood up, her chair scraping against the floor as it moved backwards. She went to stand beside her partner and studied his artwork. "The beak is too long," she criticized, tracing the outline of the beak with her finger. "And last I checked, a duck doesn't have an afro."

"Those are feathers!"

"Well, why are they so tall?"

Scowling, Goren thrust out the marker. "Let's see if you can do any better, Picasso."

Eames snorted, but accepted the writing instrument and started her own illustration of a duck. It soon became apparent that she was no better than her partner and she turned red as she caught Goren grinning out of the corner of her eye.

"Last I checked, ducks don't have chicken feet," he teased.

"At least mine is better than yours," she retorted.

Goren frowned, reluctant to admit she was right. "So I can't draw ducks. I bet I can draw any other animal perfectly. A cow, for example."

"Oh, I can't wait to see this." Eames pointed at him with her marker. "While you do that, I'll blow you away with my realistic depiction of a bear," she declared, picking the first animal that came to mind.

So the two detectives went to work, markers scratching against paper as they attempted to outdo each other. As far as Eames was concerned, she had been challenged, and she would not lose. She had a bit of a competitive streak when it came to her and her partner.

"Done!" said Goren.

"Me too."

The two stepped back and looked at each other's drawing. After a moment of silence, they both burst into laughter.

"What the hell is that?" cried Eames, arms wrapped around her stomach as she regarded Goren's drawing of a cow. "Cows don't have humps! And where's the udder?"

"Like you can talk!" laughed Goren. "Your bear looks like some sort of sumo wrestler!"

"At least it resembles a bear!"

"Not any kind of bear from this planet!"

Eames could not speak anymore, for she was so overcome with laughter that she had to lean against the table and struggle to catch her breath. Goren had to sit down, for he was laughing so hard he could no longer stand properly.

"What are you two doing?"

James Deakins and Ron Carver stood in the doorway to the room, staring at the two best detectives of Major Case. Eames quickly straightened and wiped tears of mirth from her eyes. "Nothing, Captain," she said, fighting back a smile.

"Just passing time," added Goren after he managed to catch his breath.

Deakins stared blankly at the animal doodles that covered the chart paper. "Why is there a platypus, a chicken, a camel and a Sasquatch on the briefing board?"

"A camel!" cackled Eames.

"Sasquatch!" laughed Goren.

They both lost it again, and Deakins let out a long-suffering sigh and looked heavenward. "Why me?"

Carver stared at the doodles and shook his head.

"I can see why neither of them became police sketch artists."